~WhoMe???~'s (whome) Reviews

~WhoMe???~

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4,509 Public Reviews Given

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401

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#3593239

Review of WORKING IN THE MILL

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Itchy Water~fictionandverse

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing.

Written with an alternate rhyming scheme, this fun filled poem delivers a message and tells a story. With the exception of the third and fourth verse, all rhyming couples were a direct hit. With these two verses, appearing in the middle of the poem, it could be just a stretch is enough to make the poem work. Now this was not troubling or difficult to understand due to this, it just made me stop later to review it. Most likely this was done deliberately.

~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

Overall, I feel that, this is a well written poem.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

402

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#3591479

Review of You Poetry Reviewers

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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Summer Wind is Healing

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

STATIC

You Poetry Reviewers

(13+)
A Satire For People Who Take Poetry Reviewers too Seriously
#1804470 by Summer Wind is Healing

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing.

The first thing that I noticed, was that this is a free-style piece, poking fun at those who review poetry with a fine tooth comb, and those who take the reviews so seriously.

I got a good laugh and smile out of reading this poem. I could see this happening over and over. It has been discussed many times too, in open forums.

Using punctuation to guide the reader along, this poem cascades down the page reprimanding those that stop in to review poetry as if they know everything there is to know on how the author wishes to portray the thoughts and images.

Remember, poetry is to interpretation, and we all see our own vision.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

403

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14 days may be credited.

#3591477

Review of Mystery Meat

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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Eli Crow

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing.

The first thing that stuck out was the run-on sentence to open this short static item. The more I read it though, the more it seemed to fit in with the style this is written in. It is as if the words come out jumbled and in a hurry, because the host of the words is too busy to stop, they have other things on the mind.

Though I neither liked, nor disliked any particular piece, the Donnor like actions are well placed in the italics to offset it from the story, and I liked how that was displayed. It showed that there was more going on than the eye could see. This was a good tool for delivering the punch.

Overall, I feel that this is a well written piece. For the length of it, I didn't notice any grammar, spelling, or punctuation errors that needed addressed. There was one grammar issue, but with reading and re-reading this, it fit as it was with the piece, as if being used as dialect.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

404

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14 days may be credited.

#3590942

Review of The Problem with Grocery Shopping

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Beck Firing back up!

As one of the winners for a review package. I get to stop by and visit my friends. When you review for groups and are entered into so much, you often spread yourself thin, and friends sometimes get neglected. It sometimes gets taken for granted, that they have stuff in their ports too that need reviewing. I am glad for the opportunity to stop in and read your poetry on behalf of "Invalid Item"

The Problem with Grocery Shopping

(E)
My observations that certain people do not know the "rules" of grocery shopping.
#1377381 by Beck Firing back up!

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing.

I chose this item to review, for the title. Working in the retail business at a rather large grocery chain, and having done so as a career for over 20 years, I was curious at what this article would entail. Needless to say, I found myself laughing and agreeing with the technical advice being given this customer.

I did find that this should apply now to also, the younger shoppers, who just don't care. Not all young shoppers, just the ones with the entitlement attitude. You know, the one where everything should be given to them as a free pass, they have the right away because they are who they are, type attitudes.

Upon reading this fun and informative piece, I found myself wondering if a follow up article would be seen. I think I would enjoy that.

The only error I found, was a small technical one:
~(even though ithey shouldn’t)...an extra letter jumped in for the ride.

Other than that one small instance, all other grammar, spelling, punctuation and comprehensive integrity, are intact.

Overall, I feel that, this was well written. Not only did I get a good laugh, but I felt the instructions were sincere, and good ones to follow.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

405

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#3590309

Review of RAIN

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Short and sweet, this wonderful poem follows the format, as listed with the poem, to the letter. Delivering an outlook to the future, this short three lined, 11 word poem shows an optimistic look to the future.

Some may read this and think that tomorrow can't be better than today. Others will see this as a great day, and tomorrow can only be better. With poetry such as this, I think the image is basically up to the reader and their frame of mind at the moment.

Overall this poem fits the format. Punctuation and spelling are in order. The image created is simple, and yet, left up to the imagination. Quite the clever piece.

406

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14 days may be credited.

#3589730

Review of A Poem A Day Contest

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

A Review For You in connection with "Invalid Item"

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Intro

"A Poem A Day Contest "

Itchy Water~fictionandverse

You have been selected for review by me, due to your participation and point redemption at the Ice Cream Social Event. I have already posted the raffle tickets you won and am now on to the two reviews. The sigs will have to wait until I hear back from you, or until I have a bit of time today to nose around your port. I want to find something both suitable and enjoyable, for you. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to create this contest.

So, I have now reviewed this item three times...and lost it due to chrome not finding the website issues...so here goes a fourth...I will save more often

One of the first things that come to mind, is that this was created back in June, before the release of the added emoticons. With so many new choices, I found myself wondering if the umbrellas would remain, or be replaced with flowers?

One of the most interesting things I find with this contest, is the judging criteria. Allowing for freedom of form, this contest will judge you, not only on grammar, punctuation, and prompt usage, but also on the style you choose and how you use it. What I mean to say is that if you choose Haiku, your poem will be judged on whether or not you follow the rules of the form, or if you take certain liberties. Many contests do not take this in to consideration.

Being a daily contest, this puts a lot of work on the host of the item. Assistant judges are welcome, and encouraged to step forward.

The rules are well lain out. The imagery is calm, and yet enticing. I find this contest a welcome atmosphere of excitement.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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407

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14 days may be credited.

#3587046

Review of Dear Gretel

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.5)

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A.S. Hendra [Job-Searching]

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing.

The opening paragraph reads true and well. It is only when we, the reader, get to the second paragraph, that the wording begins to dance around and jumble with the thought of the sentence.

~opening sentence second paragraph...how could Gretel see???as in "as you can see..."
~"lots of lots of the others"...a little repetitive. How about" there are a lot of others here".
~"a thenew home'...
~how does one obtain new relatives, other than through marriage? If this is the case, should the significant other also be mentioned?
~last line of the second paragraph...or so I hope...either they make you feel, or they don't ...I would suggest...instead of the last four words, change them to " or maybe it is my imagination."...just a thought...

~Things aren't the same without...word in bold is missing from the sentence...
~exaggerating exaggerate ...
~holds me back....omit the "s"...

Overall, I feel that, this is an interesting read. There are several errors that need addressed. That, or if these technical issues are meant to be in the letter, a subtext after the writing, explaining this, would be beneficial to reviewers.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

408

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14 days may be credited.

#3581319

Review of The Road Trip

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Invalid Item"

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Intro

"The Road Trip"

Sandy B.

You have been selected for review by me, due to your entry into "Invalid Item"

. I have been asked to help out in judging this round. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to enter the contest.

This is a wonderful poem of rhyming clarity. Imagery of a memorable family trip is brought to life with this fantastic poem. I liked how the punctuation added proper pause for reflection, for the reader. A great piece of artistry.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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409

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14 days may be credited.

#3581315

Review of A Day In The Desert

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

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Intro

"A Day In The Desert"

Sandy B.

You have been selected for review by me, due to your entry into "Invalid Item"

. I have been asked to help out in judging this round. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to enter the contest.

One of the first things I noticed about this quaint story, is the added and extra spacing. I found this distracting and left it hard for me to focus on the story alone. My eyes wanted to wander...I would suggest tightening it up so only one space was between paragraphs. This keeps the reader focused on the story.

The story is a cute reflection. It jumped around too much for me though. It starts out talking of red desert, and jumps into lush creek beds...there is no transition, and it didn't fit for me.

A few places I found that could use another look over...

~patiently[for] waiting their turn...
~In the distance[,] stood two hills...
~she could not bare bear to stay...
~Finally[,] they reached...
~and gnarled[,] and crooked...
~touched the bottom[,] even...
~Their strength as they hit the ...[their doesn't work to describe the falls...substitute something along the lines of The strength of the falls...]
~Eventually[,] it was time to...

~towards~ represents directional movement or action of time. In speech many people like to take the action words and give them an added syllable "s" to help propel them forward. Already being a word of action, this effort is unnecessary and leads to creating a slang term. This terminology then transfers into our writing. Now, if the piece of writing already contains slang terminology throughout the piece, then this would be acceptable, if not, then I would alter the word to the proper form, as I suggest with this instance. This also happens with forward, afterward, inward, downward, backward, outward, and beside, to name a few. The exception to this is that the British do add the "s" and in so doing are correct for their proper language. So if this is a British writing, then please disregard the comments as coming from this ignorant American

Overall, this is a nice story. The imagery created of the family playing at the falls was of a happy moment in time that can be relaxing and memorable.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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410

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14 days may be credited.

#3581261

Review of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

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Summer Wind is Healing

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers"

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing.

~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation, if only in the aspect of directing the reader on pause for dramatic effect.

A sad tale of unrequited love. Great imagery is detailed through the metaphors.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

411

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14 days may be credited.

#3580969

Review of White Twilight

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: E

| (3.5)

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Tourez1

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers"

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing.

An interesting poem. The vagueness of each verse keeps the reader guessing as to who or what is going on. Making the reader delve into each line and search for the answer as to who and what the poem is about.

With a comma, and then again capitalization in the same line, it reads almost as if someone gave direction to alter the format, and the two became intertwined. The capitalization does not fit the punctuation and is confusing for the reader.

Toward the ending, there is repetition with the conjunction and. This caused me to pause, interrupting the flow of the poem. I would suggest a comma and omitting the first use.

Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from consistentpunctuation, accompanied by proper capitalization.

Overall, I feel that, this is an intricate poem that is very elusive. It requires much thought and is very demanding of the reader.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

412

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14 days may be credited.

#3580507

Review of SNOW

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Intro

"SNOW"

Itchy Water~fictionandverse

You have been selected for review by me, due to your entry into "Invalid Item"

. I have been asked to help out in judging this round. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to enter the contest.

Without reading the subtext underneath the title, I began reading the poem, which I mistakenly assumed was a short story. Not having read the top portion completely, I began to wonder why this was so jumpy...then it dawned on me, and I scrolled back up to see what I was reading...silly me.

This is a poem, an alphabet poem to be exact. A fun filled story, put into poetic format, where each new verse begins with the next letter in sequence.

True to form this poem flows down the page in correct formatting with the style selected. I did wonder however, if this would be better displayed with each letter put into bold, or another line of spacing between each verse. Doing this would better offset the chosen poem format.

Overall, this poem created quite the scene. I could picture the family, hot and cramped, getting edgy from so much travel, only to awaken at the sight of all of that snow. I once was privy to witnessing the looks of friends and their young children, when we took them to see snow for the first time. A memory, I too, will always cherish.

This poem captures the spirit of both family and event as it delivers a wonderful entry for the contest. A great piece of writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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413

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#3579421

Review of YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT?

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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DRSmith

Lucky you, it is me, back again. "Run for the hills", and "hide your port", I am here to review and visit with you. I love to stop in and peruse, to see what you have for me to read. I often go from piece to piece and then run out of time for the review. Today however, I am stopping with this first item...okay, third...yes I already read two others, and one I had already read and reviewed before...great piece. I love the Bard's Tale...

You may have noticed there is a celebration in progress. How better to celebrate, than to review some of your friends, or someone you have never met. I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. How did I come to be in the neighborhood? Good question...I was visiting in scroll and happen to go look for another member, and saw your name, decided to stop in..

I have actually, fortunately, never run into any circumstances as these, yet find them quite humorous. I like that about your writings. I can always find genuine emotion within your work. This story is one that feels genuine and delivers great imagery to the reader. I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. This is well written and a joy to read.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

414

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#3578688

Review of Wind of Change

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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A wonderful poem of change and the metaphors of life that often help induce it. This is a good freestyle piece that captures the emotions well.

ALIGNMENT
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings. I personally feel that this poem would benefit from being centered, helping to give off the illusion or feeling of the chaos of change.

PUNCTUATION
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

415

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14 days may be credited.

#3578385

Review of One In A Million

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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This is a wonderful poem, full of great sentiment and inspiring acts. The thoughts behind this are genuine and showcase a great spirit.

PUNCTUATION
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong. There are periods at the end of each verse, however, I felt there was some need for commas as well, within the verses. Just my opinion being stated.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from consistent punctuation.

Overall this is a good free-style poem. I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors, though I did feel more punctuation was necessary. You can't really fault punctuation in poetry, it is up to the author's discretion.

416

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14 days may be credited.

#3575023

Review of Last Night I Dreamt Of You, and I Cried

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Though possibly written as a cathartic piece, during a relationship, this is a very good visual. I felt the emotions were true of a new found relationship, or one where the ties were strong. The strength of the love in this piece was withstanding and a good testament to the bond shared.

I liked how the time showcases the events and broadens the image. I remember feeling sleepless and like this when I first began my fairytale journey. Thank you for the memories.

417

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14 days may be credited.

#3575013

Review of Teardrops of a Broken Heart + Tears Drop

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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A well written poem on love and loss, relation and life. With an alternate rhyming scheme, this is sure to pull at the emotional heart string.

~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is not a necessity for this piece. Though with it, this could be a whole new experience for the reader.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

418

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14 days may be credited.

#3575012

Review of Kite Tails

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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I must say, this is a very well written story. As I read this, I grew more and more excited. I live in Washington, and have a fiance who also has a liking for kites. I wouldn't say he has an obsession nor fetish, as is the case with this tale, but I was excited to read this and share it with him.

I was just getting ready to call him in to read this to him, when I got to the end of the tail. I had never heard of a Shaggy Dog, and got quite a good laugh from this piece.

This, as I said before, is well written. I was caught up in the story right away. Finding relevance and a base of relation, I was swept away in the tale, excited to share it with others. In the end, I got a great laugh with the author, at my own expense.

419

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14 days may be credited.

#3574070

Review of Onward

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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As I read this piece, I was stuck between images. I had Aliens, and Star Trek both playing before my eyes. I wasn't sure which would prevail if any. To credit the author, this turned out to be an original, it was only my brain correlating the experience.

This is a well written piece. It gives great insight with some of the character building, as well as drawing vivid imagery for the reader. I was quite able to differentiate what was going on quite well.

I liked how this was a piece, not on what had happened, but on the mission. Keeping the focus on what lie ahead, and not on what could not be done.

420

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14 days may be credited.

#3571028

Review of Nine

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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A review for you in conjunction with "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW"

, purchased for you by {susuer?:joycampbell} with the following message: "For you awesome participation in the power raid".

A fun filled poem of rhyming couplets, this had me glued to my seat awaiting the outcome. I love to read and write in rhyme. It is always a blast. You however, take rhyming to the next level and give us a tale much like a bard.

A great poem, of which I could find not only no error, but nothing to point out I could help with. Greatness, all rolled up into one superb poem. Keep writing. I enjoy these.

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421

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#3571027

Review of Stardate 4525.3

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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A review for you in conjunction with "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW"

, purchased for you by ~A.J. Lyle~

with the following message: "For you awesome participation in the power raid".

Being a fan of the show, for many, many moons. I was able to relate to this tale in so far as I could picture the characters and details with great clarity.

This rhyming creation is a great showpiece of master craftsmanship. The rhyming couplets were easy to follow and this flowed with great ease.

A great tribute for the Star Trek fans.

I found no errors, spelling, grammatical or with punctuation. The poem is centered which draws attention to the rhyming couplets and distinguishes the difference of the setting.

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422

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#3570983

Review of Night and Day

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!

Dear Mara ♣ McBain

,
I will be reviewing "Night and Day"

for you today. I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading this story. Remember, I am but the reader, the writing is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

How did I come across your piece?

As a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest"

, I am introduced to many amazing stories. When it is my turn to judge, I am always pleased to see so many great entries to read. This was entered in the July contest, so here I am.

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

From the beginning, I knew a comparison would be made of opposites, in the story, but as to what extent and who or what we would be introduced to, remained a mystery.

How do I feel about the pace and flow?

Glued to the page, my minds eye translated written word to a motion picture as I watched this friendship grow. There was no pause due to the flow. I was able to read this uninterrupted each and every time. The transition from paragraph to paragraph was smooth and free flowing.

Thoughts on the ending:

Each time, as in the first read through, when I hit the last four paragraphs, silent tears began to slide down my cheeks. This was a very moving story. I began to hope for something similar to the ending, from the sheer emotion of the story.

My overall thoughts:

This is a very moving story, much along the lines you would find from Barbara Delinsky. A piece worthy of publishing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

423

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14 days may be credited.

#3570977

Review of Coloring Time

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

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I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!

Dear Rhyssa

,
I will be reviewing "Coloring Time"

for you today. I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading this story. Remember, I am but the reader, the writing is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

This is a wonderful story on lessons we learn in childhood. Distinguishing our differences and yet recognizing our similarities is a great building block for establishing friendships and interaction in society.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

~In kindergarten, you learn the letters, and how to spell your name. Many come into school already knowing how to spell their name, and recognize it, but many others do not. Having the children's names already on the wall, and expecting them to go find them, let alone, know how to spell their own name to put it on their coloring project, is something more for first and second grades.

~Points To Ponder:
CONJUNCTION
Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to joinsentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

My overall thoughts:

Overall, this is a well written piece. The grammar, spelling and punctuation all appear to be in order. The story is well written and has a great flow and rhythm.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

424

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14 days may be credited.

#3570874

Review of Similar differences

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.5)

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I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!

Dear Morcac

,
I will be reviewing "Similar differences"

for you today. I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading this story. Remember, I am but the reader, the writing is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

How did I come across your piece?

I am one of the judges for the July round of "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest"

by Writing.Com Support

. I am thankful for this opportunity to read your item and put forth my thoughts and ideas about it. I hope you find them useful.

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

The title well describes the main theme of this story. This is a short moralistic tale, a lesson in life. Some come by this the hard way, some come by it naturally, and others never see the light, they see only the differences.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

I feel sad for the main character in the beginning. After all, what has had happened in his past to bring him to this point in his life. What preconditioning has he gone through that put him with this view? I like how this is a transitional story that teaches a lesson in the end.

How do I feel about the pace and flow?

This is a very short story. It feels like a lot is missing, and that may be due to the word count restriction.
The story jumps from problem, to solution, to resolution with no padding in between. I would suggest refining this once the contest is over.

Outstanding questions or issues:

~too drunk to slow show...

~and thing around be seemed different.(should be: things around me...)

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

~traitor, why is it capitalized?

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

425

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14 days may be credited.

#3570460

Review of From this bed...

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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A well written poem that is a special piece. To me, this is a form, I have come to know as a rant, or rave. That would be, a poem that reads quick and swift down the page, describing an event or happening with great emotion.

The emotions are high in this poem and I liked the message it delivers. The final verse is a good hope or dream, perhaps one day a reality.
I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. Well done.