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526
526
Review of Wendy's  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Greetings laure0215 Author Icon

~*Star*~ First Impression:
My first impression of this was very negative. The first few times I read it, I wanted to yell..."If you hate it so much, go find something you enjoy doing". Easier said than done. Upon much reflection and reading this a few more times, I have found it has a few redeeming qualities.

First of all, I do see some ambition in this short article. There is an ambition to learn and improve. Wanting to stand on your own two feet is part of the growing stage. This article showcases this through the determination to be independent financially.

Secondly, this article shows the intelligence it takes to analyze a situation and see not only the good, but also the bad. Taking something negative and turning it into a positive experience is a good quality to have. Recognizing what the job has to offer, and how it can help you will, is another great quality you showcase here.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
~Unfortunately[,] Wendy’s is where I...
~there very long[,] and...
~work at the front...
~comes in at once[,] and I’m the...
~shows me hoe how to be...
~people’s orders[,] and...
~like having a job[,] but it prepares...

~*Star*~Point to Ponder:
~But I also hate it...
CONJUNCTION
Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to joinsentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

~*Star*~OVERALL:
Overall this could be a great short article. I feel it needs to be broke up into at least two paragraphs. One would center around not liking the job, and why. The next one would be about how having this job can help you grow.

Be sure to re-read an item several times after you create it. Read it silently, and then again out loud. Doing this will help you correct many grammar and spelling issues. There are also grammar checkers and punctuation editors online that can help.

A three star rating is average. I give this a three and a half. This has great potential, it just needs more editing and refining. I would gladly return at a later date to readjust my review and rating, once this item is in its final stages.


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*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*Thank you for sharing your creative writing and artistic skills!*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
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527
527
Review of She Smiles...  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Greetings Madison Author Icon

~*Star*~ First Impression:
A wonderful poem. Showing through great imagery in description, another side to the smile that many do not stop to think about, this poem gives new vision to think upon.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
This is well written. The spelling, grammar, and punctuation all appear to be in order.

~*Star*~Points to Ponder:

ALIGNMENT
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

~*Star*~Overall:
A wonderful five star poem.

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*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*Thank you for sharing your creative writing and artistic skills!*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
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528
528
Review of Perfect  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Greetings outloudgirl Author Icon

~*Star*~ First Impression:
A very short tale, I found this to be a sad story on strength and perseverance. Facing the demon of cancer full on, as it eats away at the inside is a hard battle to endure. Hiding the physical wounds of this war, Cali struggles to maintain a sense of normalcy as she attempts to keep some sense of order and routine in her life. She would like things to go back as they were before, though that can't happen. Instead, she struggles through each day, knowing the end is near.

~*Star*~ Characterization:
Cali shows strength and determination in the face of the enemy. This short piece is about her character and attempt to continue on with a strong force.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
~I have a rare case a of pancreatic cancer...


~*Star*~Overall:
This was hard for me to read, review and rate, as well as select for review. When I selected this, we had already learned my mother-in-law was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. They say once diagnosed, there is about a 4 to 6 month window before the cancer wins. She is no longer suffering. Friday of last week she passed away. The funeral was yesterday. Mom was much older than the character in this story, and I imagine, she was much later in the progression of the cancer.

Cali chose to fight the cancer with treatments, mom did not. She was too far in her battle, and the cancer had already done much damage by the time it was diagnosed. With Cali's prognosis, there may be a chance she can win, though I am not educated in this area.

If this becomes a larger piece, documenting the life of Cali, I would like to hear her background leading up to this point, and then the full story through to the end. It would make for a nice story. A story of strength and determination in the site of the adversary. Sometimes you don't realize how much a single life can touch and effect so many others until they are gone. Much is the case with mom. Perhaps Cali's story will be one where her struggle with life and the way she lives her remaining days will move a whole school to change and alter their ways. Does she show other children a better way of life, in teaching them that every day is a gift and a challenge to do good and be all you can to yourself and others? I would like to know.
~*Star*~Description and Setting:

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*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*Thank you for sharing your creative writing and artistic skills!*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
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529
529
Review of The Temple Lobby  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Greetings Abeyan Author Icon

~*Star*~ First Impression:
I feel this is a short piece that can be the launch of a great novel idea. Though this would be part of the story toward the end, or even, part of the beginning of the story, this is well written and definitely has merits to be the basis for a larger piece.

I found my interest piqued and wanted to know more of the characters and their journey.

~*Star*~ Characterization:
The dog being the center of this short piece, he appears to be the one in control. Though, this could also be a female dog. Knowing danger is at hand and a task needs completed, the dog urges the journey on with utmost urgency.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
~nearing the end now[.] He could...
~ the altar, shimmering in the distance[,] and...

~*Star*~Additional Comments:
~They just had to make it that far, just to the altar.
With the above sentence, using the word, just, repetitively like this, is a redundancy that should be changed. Alter the last part of the sentence with perhaps, at least, to keep the sentence fresh for the reader.


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*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*Thank you for sharing your creative writing and artistic skills!*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
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530
530
Review of Static  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Intro



*Vine2*"Static" Open in new Window.*Vine1*



Senita Author Icon

*Sun*
An interesting little piece on static noise coming from a radio. To me, this is a metaphoric piece. It is more than just about the radio, it is about the self, and fixing what is broken.

*Star*
I hope you have enjoyed being featured as one of the newbies here on site to be reviewed by our group this week.

*Moon*
~problem a missing wire, A a loose thread,
no capitalization is needed on this part, unless starting a new sentence.

~ if you wil will. With
spell check should have caught this little rascal.

~I like this frequency it sounds so good.
a missing word breaks up the fluid continuity of the sentence.

*Compass*
Overall this was a nice short piece. It was easy to read and understand. I find it an average three star rating. There were a few minor errors, and nothing particularly stood out to give this the WOW factor.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..


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531
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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A beautiful piece of memory. As I look out on the red tulips that sprout up each spring, I will be reminded of a child's words, and how he first began to grasp the cycle of life. I wonder if you have planted red tulips, as a reminder of this day? If not, If only a little birdie had a way of getting a hold of this son before Mother's day....what a vision, to be presented with a plant, of red tulips, to plant out in the yard, this spring.

This is a well written memory. The grammar, spelling and punctuation are all in order. This seems to be a personal piece, shared with us all, and we are blessed for that. THANK YOU
532
532
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Thank you for sharing this wonderful information about publicly promoting my portfolio URL. You have listed several different avenues of approach to do this, but one I didn't see was blog posting. Many members run a blog on other sites, as well as this one. I guess, however, that may fall under the heading of discussion forums or groups.

I for one am one who has had very few referrals. Using the tools you have suggested, I should be able to promote this site, and my portfolio as well.

I thank you for including this static item. It is helpful and in-depth. I didn't notice any spelling, punctuation, or grammar errors.

533
533
Review of Black Rain  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Greetings 🌖 HuntersMoon Author Icon

~*Star*~ First Impression:
I have come across very few items, whether they were short stories or poems, where I could simply say WOW! This is one of those poems. I now live in the Northwest. I have been here before, but it seems much different, climate wise, than it did when I was younger. Now, blink, and it will rain, or shower, or pour. To me, this is a very descriptive poem of the weather I see, almost, on a daily basis now. To where I had once heard stories of the rain and how it can have the effect on people that this poem portrays, I now know firsthand the misery it can bring. I have seen it, show itself to others, and it has also tried to touch my shoulder as well, but I moved away. *Wink*

~*Star*~ Characterization:
The rain is brought to life, not only with the image above, but the poetic tapestry woven below, as well. Both, seem to bring to life the rain, and give it personification.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
This is a very well written poem. The details below it. describing the form used and the rhythm and rhyme that should be apparent, illustrate for those of us unfamiliar with poetic forms other than basic free-style or rhyme. This fact, along with the grammar, spelling and punctuation all appearing in order, leave nothing for me to comment upon in the editing department.

~*Star*~Dialog:
The dialog involved is the noise the rain makes on the glass. It mutes the world, giving it a dull lifeless gray, that seems to enshroud all life.


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*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*Thank you for sharing your creative writing and artistic skills!*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
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534
534
Review of God breathed.  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Intro






God, save the Jester. Author Icon

*Sun*
A creative idea and vision on the creation of life as we know it, this picturesque poem gives new views on the evolution of life; a metaphoric vision.

*Star*
~Since punctuation is used, I would suggest capitalizing the first word of the third line.

*Moon*
Point to Ponder:
ALIGNMENT
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. I would suggest centering this short poem. Though keep in mind, this is just my opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

*Compass*
Overall well written and an interesting view.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..


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535
535
Review of Dark Halloween  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Intro






TheMadWarlock Author Icon

*Sun*
A flash fiction piece that is every parents worst nightmare, this short story tells of the demise of Arthur Hill and why it is best he isn't around the children any more.

*Star*
~Arthur sat on a large, cold rock[.] His trembling hand...
~and as his only solace[.] They were...
~him a monster[.] They...
~called him a psycho[,] and they...
~but deep down[,] Arthur knew...
~The mob didn't care[.] This was the...

*Moon*
Points to Ponder:
~towards~ represents directional movement or action of time. In speech many people like to take the action words and give them an added syllable "s" to help propel them forward. Already being a word of action, this effort is unnecessary and leads to creating a slang term. This terminology then transfers into our writing. Now, if the piece of writing already contains slang terminology throughout the piece, then this would be acceptable, if not, then I would alter the word to the proper form, as I suggest with this instance. This also happens with forward, afterward, inward, downward, backward, outward, and beside, to name a few. The exception to this is that the British do add the "s" and in so doing are correct for their proper language.

*Compass*
A well executed short story other than the few editing points notated. I enjoyed reading the way this unfolded. A very creative use of the prompt.


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536
536
Review of The Happiness  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Deacon Vaughan Author Icon

*Sun*
I found this a fun and humorous poem. It made me smile during a time that crying was more suited. Any piece that can evoke emotions strong like this, deserves five stars.

*Star*
Several things I liked about this poem. Using the free-style format accompanied by a rhyming tone gave this a unique voice. The rhyming had no set rhythm, but went with the free-style motion of laughter and farce to provoke emotion.

*Moon*
One suggestion only, and that would be to eliminate the first use of andin the last line.

*Compass*
Overall a great poem.

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537
537
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Blackbutterfly Author Icon

*Sun*
This is a very lovely poem. I thought the message came through quite clearly. Each verse flows down the page in a free-style form like a waterfall with a mist and rainbow below; beautiful and dreamy.

*Star*
I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. This is well written with great description and image building.

*Moon*
ALIGNMENT
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..


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538
538
Review of Sweet Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Kable Author Icon

*Sun*
A wonderful rhyming poem of love and caring emotions. This sweet piece rhymes with ease down the page with an alternate rhyme.

*Star*
PUNCTUATION
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

*Moon*
One suggestion I have would be to tighten up each verse. The added space in between each line is distracting. Space between each verse helps to set each verse apart, however, that is not necessary with each line in a verse.

*Compass*
Overall a fine poem, with just a few minor adjustments needed (in my personal opinion only). A sweet emotional piece on adjustment and change, with questions for a second chance.


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539
539
Review of I MISS MY GRANDPA  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Scribble Author Icon

*Sun*
A personal poem for that special person in life who has helped to nurture you and see you grow. This is a poem to Grandpa showcasing your love and how much he is missed.

*Star*
Having departed during the holidays, each year the reminder is there for the family. This can make things difficult for some, and others this will be a happy time where grandpa can be remembered with a smile and perhaps a tear.

*Moon*
This poem is well written. The formatting, grammar, spelling and punctuation all appear to be in order.




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540
540
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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My dearest Sophy Author Icon,

This is a very eye opening article, which delivers great advice and insight. Living with a similar diagnosis, I have learned as you have, that our views and how we act and react are what define us. A very commendable writing. I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. I send a hug, a warm cup of *Coffeet* and a smile your way. Thank you for sharing your experience, and your very optimistic outlook on life .
541
541
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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A fantastic writing piece, I had a smile on my face the whole time I read this. Giving great direction and information, all cleverly disguised within a short story of humor and wit. I had a great time reading this. I really liked the approach you took with this. I hope you keep the links updated as the site changes over the years.

This is a neat item to direct newcomers to for referencing. Well written, I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors to comment upon. This is a writing I would refer others to.
542
542
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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This is a wonderful and fun look at trying something new. Daizy my friend, full of adventure and excitement, wanted to partake of a special delicacy shared by a friend. Going out of your way to find the necessary tools for this journey, your taste buds were in for a new experience.

This is a well written short piece that includes a great link to a friend's article as well. I commend you for trying something new.
543
543
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Not all who wander are lost.

Congratulations on your nomination into "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" Open in new Window.
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the J.R.R. Tolkien Fan Package!
This package includes many things, one of which is this review from the "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.!


Dear Just an Ordinary Boo! Author Icon

*Sun*
A wonderfully written spiritual letter, this is a personal piece. Including links for those of us who do not follow the same path as your faith and religion, so that we may have a better understanding of what this letter of forgiveness is truly speaking of.

*Star*
~a laughable thing[.] Walking is faster if legs...
~ But, Lord, Swine Flu has already
Points To Ponder:
CONJUNCTION
Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to join sentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak (as is the case here), and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

~ live a short walk away But, I...
live a short walk away[,] but I...

~Today, two people got sight[.] Two got a new life,[.] She celebrates that her mother...

~bright colours and rich silks[.] I gape at the...

~Only you are always there[.] You do not come and go.

~ nearly 36 hours of work[,] and I needed...

~ It made me wonder and question[.] It made...

~ Forgiveness[,] not for my ideas...

*Moon*
For the most part, this is very well written. Some of the sentences were a bit lengthy, though, I felt in this case it was appropriate for the subject matter. The emotions running through this personal piece are very charged. I could feel the voice inflection coming through this writing.

*Compass*
Overall, a great spiritual piece. I for one, do not question your devotion, or the path you have chosen. I commend you for sharing this very personal piece of writing. It is written from the heart. You come across as a very caring and loving person, in your writings, as well as in your correspondence.

I for one appreciated the links to further educate me to some of the referencing I am foreign to.






*Heart* Want to spoil your favorite author? Buy them a package to show your appreciation! *Heart*
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Write on!
~WhoMe???~ Author Icon
544
544
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings Daizy May Author Icon
~*Star*~ First Impression:
I see a cartoon knocked flat on her back with big XX's for eyes. She was knocked cold from the frozen, musical keys that dropped from the porch eves as she banged on them with the shovel. Creating a symphonic tinkling, the crescendo was in the final act as the last icicle fell prematurely from the vibrations of all the others, hitting our warm musician on the head, and putting her down for the count.

~*Star*~ Characterization:
The icicles take on a life of their own as they play music and become a symphonic beauty to hold.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
Nothing noticed. The spelling, grammar and punctuation are all in order, creating a unified story of 55 words or less. A start, middle and finish leaving a complete tale of comedy.



~*Star*~Thank you for sharing your creative writing and artistic skills!
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545
545
Review of Bike Riding  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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The opening sentence of this short article had me both laughing and cringing at the same time. Taking the step that I myself have yet to do, you have decided to take charge of your life. The opening sentences not only serve as a warning, but express humor as well.


~Just like riding a bike[.] You never really forget.”
~But better to blame them than to...

Point To Ponder:
CONJUNCTION
Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to joinsentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

I found this to be a great story. I was able to share in the experience of someone else, and find that this has been inspirational in getting me motivated.
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Review of Faith fight  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Prompt #174 "COLORING THE WORLD CONTEST TEMP. CLOSED " Open in new Window.

You have the opportunity to help one person change their life forever, what do you do, and why?

The title of this freestyle poem "Faith Fight" , illicts thoughts of spiritualism and religion. Upon reading this, I found that I couldn't understand what was being said. Was it me, or the poem. I couldn't seem to concentrate on the poem as a whole, so I stepped away. When I returned, the same thing, no concentration, so I turned off all outside stimulus, and let the poem speak to me. I read it time and time again. Finally, the poem found its voice for me.

To me this is a poem of the earth sacrificing to give us life. Us, being the humans, animals, microbes and more that inhabit this earth. The earth is the one sacrificing itself for others.

~the last verse, second line, I wasn't sure if the word was entered correctly... "fuggy"?

Overall a good poem. Its freestyle form adds to illustrate the voice of the earth being carried through the wind.
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547
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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A forum that represents the most generous gift of giving, an anonymous group spreads cheer and goodwill throughout the site. This is the place where site members can go to thank this great group "The Mystery League" Open in new Window..

Working anonymously, the group members spread reviews, encouragement, gps and more to show members appreciation and encouragement.
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548
Review of A Teacher's Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window. [E]♥♥♥♥♥
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Intro






R.L. Blanchard Author Icon

*Sun*
Many questions a teacher may ask concerning students, this poetic piece reminds me more of a prose than a poem. Here is one reference to why I would say this "Prose vs Poetry" Open in new Window.. Written with great thought and concern for others, this is a tribute for one who cares.

*Star*
The third line was worded awkwardly for me. Was this meant to be a question or statement?

*Moon*
With the six line, I would suggest trying something else to start the sentence with. Avoid beginning a new sentence with a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet and so). Coordinating conjunctions should be used for connecting between items of the same class within a sentence. In formal or academic writing situations, in particular, they should not be used to introduce a new sentence.

*Compass*
Overall some good thought and points to ponder. Anyone with a heart that teaches will be able to empathize and connect with this piece.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..


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549
Review of A Single Rose  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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An interesting concept of a poem. The personification of the rose as it shivers gave me the impression of a cold spring. The sun refuses to shine, yet the roses decide to come out early despite the cold. Once doing so, they are left to the elements as Mr Sunshine hides, wanting a bit more of a hibernation before coming off of vacation and having to shine on an almost daily basis for summer.

I like the way the poem does a full circle. It puts the emphasis on the rose and makes it shine even brighter.
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550
Review of Strays  Open in new Window.
Review by ~WhoMe???~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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A wonderful story that moved me emotionally. I strongly urge you to tuck this one away for a rainy day. This short piece has the potential to launch a novel. With this being the first page in the book, I don't know how anyone would be able to put it down.

One thing stuck out, and that was the word Touch *Questionbl* is this suppose to be touche? The e should have the little mark above it, but I don't know how to do that...

Overall a wonderful story. Great job, and good luck.
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