~WhoMe???~'s (whome) Reviews

~WhoMe???~

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4,509 Public Reviews Given

4,699 Total Reviews Given

1001

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#3184349

Review of Jessica's Cloud

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Brenpoet

Brief Summary:

A wonderful children's poem of a cloud in the sky, what one angel saw, and who she chose to share it with. This creative sing song poem belongs in a children's book, and has a dedication of love, leading me to believe that this was a true story put into a poetic format.

Suggestions:

This is one of those that belongs in Jessica's book of memories and also in print. I would suggest typing it up on pretty paper and putting it in her scrapbook of memories.

What I liked about this piece:

The musical way I could picture a child's voice coming through telling this story, as well as the grandmother's response. This was truly a special piece.

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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1002

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#3184348

Review of HAUNTED

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

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COUNTRYMOM

Brief Summary:

Once again I stop by to see what this weeks prompt for "COLORING THE WORLD CONTEST TEMP. CLOSED "

by SHERRI GIBSON

has inspired you to write one of your creative poems. This haunting tale is of things that go bump in the night, haunting you from the past. A very nice write.

Suggestions:

The first verse was rough in finding the flow and rhythm of the poem. I feel this may be to the lagging punctuation. Though, it may just be fault with the person reading the poem too. Lack of sleep will do that.

What I liked about this piece:

There are several things that go bump in the night and often haunt our dreams. This poem covers this haunting with great detail all the while, making you wonder if it were just a dream. A very creative piece.

Areas that I had trouble with:

In the third verse, I is not capitalized once. I am sure this was just an oversight and not a creative use of lack of capitalization to represent a loss of self worth. I think the pronoun should be capitalized for this instance.

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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1003

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#3182547

Review of Iron Horse

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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Sammy

Brief Summary:

Lost and alone in an uncertain world, Kara awaits her fate and destiny as time ticks by. Her patience pays of as her Iron horse pulls up and she begins anew with self discovery and learning once again to trust. This is an emotional piece. Emotional, if you put yourself in the shoes of the character. Tired, beat-down, and uncertain of the future, what would you do?

Suggestions:

After reading this, I am completely uncertain that there is anything I could suggest, other than to go continue on with the story. If this were a book I had picked up at the store. I would not stop here. I would continue reading on. I want to know more about how Kara and Iron horse work things out. Will Kara be followed? Will her scars and nightmares haunt her to the point that there is no peace for her in the future? Or, does her knight of rescue calm her fears and diminish her demons? More, More, I want more! This would make a great beginning for a novel.

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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1004

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#3179937

Review of Life Began

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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aralls

Brief Summary:

A free-style poem written of a tender and emotionally bonding moment in time. This momentous occasion represented here in poetic form is emotionally charged and leaves an everlasting impression.

Suggestions:

A copy of this typed up on special paper and placed in a memory book or baby book, would add great sentiment in later years.

What I liked about this piece:

This represents those first few moments when mother and child first look into each others eyes. That moment when all else fails to exist in this precious moment.

Areas that I had trouble with:

Absolutely none.

Why I rated this so:

a wonderful treat to read. I am thankful you shared this special moment with us.

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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1005

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#3174315

Review of A Bit About Me

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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SHERRI GIBSON

Well shucks there sister girl, I could have told you all of that LOL. Yes, this is a good introduction for those few out there who havent had the pleasure of getting to know you personally. Everything here is stated with truth and love, though your heart is as big as they come, I think you left that part out. Another thing you might want to add here would be the amazon tag to purchase the books (is that what the funky little box with the book picture is called?)

Anyway, great biography! Though you understate so much. You are all you declare here and more. Great sister, mentor and friend. True inspiration and leader. The list goes on and on and on...

Well, I had best get to bed now. It will be a long day and I believe I have just done about 13 or 14 reviews and now need some sleep. Nighty night from this MOMMY!!!

1006

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#3174307

Review of Living Today For Yesterday

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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piewhackett1

What a beautiful love song you have created. The words and depth of emotion are so strong, that even I, who can not hum a tune, can hear the music these great words compliment. Though this appears to be poetry wrote in rhyming couplets, the music shows that a true rhyme is not needed when a small stretch and great tune are added. These are great lines and visions you have hear. If this is ever put to music, I would love to hear it.

1007

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#3174291

Review of Reflected Beauty

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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huntetsmoon

What a masterpiece I have uncovered here with my rummaging around looking to review. I unsheathed a canvas complete with picture, education and beauty. The artistry shown here is brilliant. Not only does the image due the poem justice, but it sheds new light into the poem as well. The poem itself rings true to the format, which is described below. A great combination!

1008

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#3174285

Review of THANKFUL

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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SHERRI GIBSON

Randomly I sit and review, and poof, in comes a new poem from you. Where this has been I do not know, seems I need to peruse your port some more. I read this once, then twice again. I couldn't quit smiling at all this holds. Not only is this an emotional and spiritual piece, but to me it held so much more depth. It shows the depth and character of the person you truly are.

"THANKFUL"

consists of four verses. Each verse holds it's own rhyme, and each verse consists of four lines, all of which hold the same rhyme of the verse. Very creative and consistent. You have done a great job with this. Another true masterpiece.

1009

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#3174271

Review of The Modern American Story

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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C. A. Smith ~ The Reviled

Brief Summary:

This is the story more and more in today's society and economy. This dialog is a smoke break conversation that could be overheard in many workplace around the United States at any given point today. Hard economic times and pressures are upon us, and many who are still working, fear getting laid off at any moment. Times are tough and this dialog represents just that.

Suggestions:

I couldn't really see anything that needed changing. This was well written. The punctuation all seemed to be in order and the spelling was in check. Great Job.

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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1010

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#3174266

Review of The Quills

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

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Andrew

Hello! I stumbled upon your promotion of "The Quills"

in the IM section this evening, and thought I would check it out. Here I found an oscars night waiting to happen. Peers submit and judge for these esteemed awards to be handed out. This requires reading, writing, and nominations, encompassing the whole gammit of community participation. A wonderful activity to be hosting in one's port. The awards and rules & regulations all seem to be clear cut and precise. Great Job! Keep up the wonderful work.

1011

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#3173523

Review of Ariadne

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Legerdemain

Brief Summary:

This brings to mind a metaphor of the ocean being the voyage of love and relationships. This complex piece is simple in form and very free-flowing. Each of the three verses held the strength and support of the relationship being the journey of embarkment.

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It is well written and seems to be in good condition when looking at the punctuation.

What I liked about this piece:

Though there are three small verses, the metaphor being held captive in the piece represents so much more that this holds the illusion of a large poem, or large voyage. This is something not to be taken lightly.

Areas that I had trouble with:

I am lost with the reference to Ariadne and will be looking it up. I am sure it holds great significance to another poem or book.

Why I rated this so:

A justly deserving writing. This poem was well thought out, holds great depth and meaning. All of this, without being overwhelming for the reader. I enjoyed reading this several times over, as I think all great poetry should be read several times. Thank you!

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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1012

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#3172814

Review of The Lonely Tower

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Ben Langhinrichs

Brief Summary:

A beauty of a poem with great rhythm and cadence. Consisting of alternate rhyming couplets, this poem was fun and fanciful. I skipped through it as if humming a tune, are singing a refrain. It was a joy each time I read it. I didn't have any difficulty in reading this poem, for all of the rhyming and rhythm were right on key. The flow was smooth due to the close kept syllable count and corresponding rhyming schemes.

Suggestions:

The only suggestion I could possibly have for this magnificent piece would be to submit it for publication. I felt I was reading a great work of art. It is not often I come across a piece as this that I feel should be read in a hard back book. This particular poem has the appeal and charm to be center stage of any poetry book.

What I liked about this piece:

I think it might be the cadence and ease for which I was able to grasp the rhythm of the voice. The voice of this poem is light and airy yet changed tempo with the emotion of the poem. I could feel and sense this as if living out the actions. To me it was a very moving piece.

Areas that I had trouble with:

Believing that this isn't already out there published somewhere. Ben, this has greatness all throught the lines and verses. This magnificent piece is complete once in publication.

Why I rated this so:

I haven't read such a fun poem in a while. The rhythm really had my emotions glued to the lines. There is something about this poem that draws the reader in. Great Job!

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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1013

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#3172073

Review of The Accuser

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Ron Henry

Brief Summary:

A confrontation between friends creates a situation where one must stop and analyze the past and the mistakes made. Seeing the injustice of ways, the accused must now decide what course of action to take.

Suggestions:

I really don't have anything to add for suggestions. This is a wonderful poem formatted with rhyming couplets. This is a great poem.

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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1014

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#3171629

Review of Chapter 3

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Hyperiongate

Brief Summary:

A short chapter of a writing assingment, as dictated in the beginning, we learn of a spy and some of the information he has to share on the army to the north.

Suggestions:

~towards~ represents directional movement or action of time. In speech many people like to take the action words and give them an added syllable "s" to help propel them forward. Already being words of action, this effort is unnecessary and leads to creating a slang term. This terminology then transfers into our writing. Now, if the piece of writing already contains slang terminology throughout the piece, then this would be acceptable, if not, then I would alter the word to the proper form, as I suggest with this instance. This also happens with forward, beside, inward, downward, afterward, outward, backward, and upward, to name a few.

In the last paragraph, second sentence, him his. Replacing the word him with the word his makes clarity of the sentence clearer.

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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1015

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#3171241

Review of Another Badger, More or Less

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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Ben Langhinrichs

Brief Summary

I love the title for this multi-facetted piece. This complex poem has many dimmensions which lay just beneath the surface. If one takes the time to read and re-read those other layers surface bringing clarity and warning.

To start with the author shares personal fun and laughs as a variety of animals are all described and then pronounced a "badger".

Later, this prose goes on to show how distinguishing between a badger and another animal can be difficult.

Then to wrap it all up, it is shown how we ourselves can become badgers.

Suggestions

This is a very well written piece. I enjoyed reading this several times. With each new read, the prose took on a stronger meaning with depth and metaphoric meaning for me.

What I liked about this piece

I liked the fabled way this story is told. To me the underlying message about the dangers of driving stood out. Now to see this, I kept reading and disecting the account.

Areas that I had trouble with

Absolutely none. A very well written piece.

Why I rated this so

A well deserving piece that is ready for publishing as I see it.

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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1016

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#3169107

Review of Fiery Red Hair

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Daizy May

A very touching short story that shows time in a new perspective. What one individual may see happening to another, isn't necessarily the emotion and feelings being experienced by this other. This shows one point of view on the face of death. The transference of time back and forth represent the broader perspective of life. I really enjoyed reading this. I felt the repetition necessary to illustrate the perspective of the story.

1017

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#3169088

Review of A SPECIAL KIND OF LOVE

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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SHERRI GIBSON

This is a wonderful poem of love and devotion shared with these three verses which hold such depth and emotion that the love is evident in each and every line.
Written with alternating rhyming couplets, I could find no fault with any part of this great artistry. A wonderful piece of beauty.

One suggestion for the first of the three verses would be to change it's to it is. I found myself making this substitution, and after reading this five times now, I figured out why. Each line of the verse is almost a complete statement, as being said in a soft sing song voice, which carries out over the distance of time and space. With the emotion and feelings being drawn out into the open, lengthening the statement or line by separating the words into their individual usage, elongates the message and shows the growth of the love.

1018

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#3167294

Review of Music of Love

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)

As the tempo of this elaborate musical poem increases, so does the love shared by two. This great poem held rhythm and cadence, dancing to the sway of the candle as it shone brightly.

~towards~ represents directional movement or action of time. In speech many people like to take the action words and give them an added syllable "s" to help propel them forward. Already being words of action, this effort is unnecessary and leads to creating a slang term. This terminology then transfers into our writing. Now, if the piece of writing already contains slang terminology throughout the piece, then this would be acceptable, if not, then I would alter the word to the proper form, as I suggest with this instance. This also happens with forward, beside, inward, downward, afterward, outward, backward, and upward, to name a few.

1019

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14 days may be credited.

#3167231

Review of Silent Seduction

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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WW is 18࿚A WDC adult!

A sensual moment in time, captured as this couple share quality time basking in the love and adoration they each share for one another. I see this as the viewpoint of the woman as she watches her counterpart. Her feelings for him help to complete her world. This is a sentiment caught in time. Very tastefully displayed.

1020

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#3166272

Review of The Time I Was Inches Away…

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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J. A. Buxton

Whenever I see a piece of work from our wonderful friend J. A. Buxton

, I know I am in for a treat. Generally I can expect to find a treat of a story involving an animal with love and compassion from a human friend.

In this great story, we learn of an encounter where J. A. Buxton

stumbles upon a scruffy dog along the side of a freeway who appears to be in possible danger. She then involves herself in a mission to rescue this lone animal and in so doing puts the test to her guardian angel, as danger keeps stepping up to confront her during her rescue.

1021

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#3165843

Review of IN LOVING ARMS

Review by ~WhoMe???~

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Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

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COUNTRYMOM

It is always a joy to stop in and read what you have written for the weekly prompt at "COLORING THE WORLD CONTEST TEMP. CLOSED "

by SHERRI GIBSON

. Your poetry is gracefull and tastefully written. The vast subject matter you write about is chosen from the prompts, yet each week you come up with a new poem that holds great strength and clarity for the poetry you write is from the heart.

In this masterpiece you have chosen to share, the alternate rhyming couplets grace the page. You took a troubling subject to read and put it in a light that allows it to shine on its own. If I were a victim of such as this poem, reading this, could be just the medicine I needed to make my break.

1022

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#3153185

Review of DEAD ON ARRIVAL

Review by ~WhoMe???~

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Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

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COUNTRYMOM

Using a prompt from "COLORING THE WORLD CONTEST TEMP. CLOSED "

by SHERRI GIBSON

this great artist has created a poem of grandeur, speaking of life, meaning, and being all that we can. This is a poem consisting of alternate rhyming couplets. The five verses speak of dreams and what may come to pass, yet concentrating on the here and now, and whether or not life is being lived to the fullest.

This is a spiritual piece, yet doesn't preach. The main focus of this piece is the here and now. It is a thought provoking poem. Very well written.
The rhythm and rhyme flow true to the poem with consistency and strength.

I found the rhyme just flowed off of my tongue as I read it. I envision looking back on each day, perhaps through writing in a journal, and asking myself "Had I made a difference today?"

Thank you for taking time each week to participate in such a wonderful prompt contest. Your poetry thrives with each weeks entry. I enjoy reading them.

1023

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#3153181

Review of Dead on arrival

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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jaya

A free-style poem of emotion and sadness, as the two characters of this poem meet their maker after an ill-fated plane crash. This could be metaphorical or it could be a tribute to two friends from September 11. Whichever the case may be, this is a nice poem which illustrates the prompt well.

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1024

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#3146115

Review of Time marches on

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

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jaya

TITLE:
One of the strongest pieces of a poem, the title sums up and grabs the attention of the reader. It can set the tone of the poem by simply being positioned as the title. Therefore when reading this particular title I didn't understand why the second two words weren't capitalized.

FORMAT:
Four free-style verses cascading down the page speaking of time and what it witnesses.

SUGGESTIONS:
*There is inconsistent capitalization without punctuation prompting. For instance, the second line of verse one is capitalized yet it follows a comma not a period.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem brings great contemplation and sparks thought and invokes conversations. A wonderful poem with many points well made.

IN ADDITION:
In addition, you won a mystery package in a raffle. Due to the strong impression this piece has left with it's great content, I have put a grand ribbon on this poem. There are a few adjustments yet to be made, but this is a winning piece.

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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1025

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#3145536

Review of An Amazon's Affection

Review by ~WhoMe???~

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Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

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marcusl

Title:
"An Amazon's Affection"

by marcusl

At first glance I thought this to be a love story. How wrong I was. The title did as it should, and lured me in with a three phrase catch that entrapped me and brought me to the story.
A powerful title which represents the story well.

Plot:
The middle of the story is a bit rough. We learn of the torture it is to not have the doll, but what does that represent? Is the doll the part of her that yearns for more feministic ways? Does she dream of settling down raising her own family? Does the doll stand for that which is feminine, to where she feels all view her in a more masculine light? I feel some more in-depth look at this is needed. We need more info as to why she wants the doll.

Setting:
The setting isn't given much description. We know the name of the town and that is about it. Some more background information on the setting would increase the empathy of the character. Does this take place in a town, time or era where girls are expected to be the providers? Is it the home life of Byrna, maybe the absence of a dad, that places her in the expectation of society that given her build and stature that she will be a provider, a warrior?

Suggestions:
* Bryna stopped in her tracks when she noticed the villager's eyes upon her as she was heading toward the store. I think this part could use some work and I have a few suggestions which may help with the story a bit.
~Byrna is a bit self conscious. That is a part of the plot of the story, yet her desire to be a girl and own this doll is very powerful. I feel it would be more believable if she doesn't stop until she gets right to the door or window, and sees her reflection. Here is this tall girl, covered in dirt, possibly blood, carrying a dead orc over her shoulder. What type of a barbarian goes around carrying both a doll and a dead orc? The reflection stops her, then she looks up further into the glass to see the villagers watching her.

*the last sentence of the sixth paragraph needs some work. The word out is used twice with one word between the two uses. One of these should be eliminated to strengthen up the sentence.

Overall story impression
Overall this is a good story. I did feel that a little more information in spots would strengthen this piece however. I did like especially how she gets the object of her desire, I just wish we new more as to why she wanted it.
~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
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