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476
476
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Petunia Black, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Taste of Heartache" Open in new Window. by Petunia Black

Clarity:A nice title for this work.

Writing style:Personal experience romance drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, this makes your work available to more readers.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure appears cluttered and intimidating, that is not easy for the reader.



My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A lost love type rant. I suppose a rant like this might help get the bad feeling out of your system. Move on, hold your head high. Time will quickly heal this loss.

Try to write a positive story while your emotions are running high. This might help to write a better story by having your senses tuned in high.

Petunia Black, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Consider a good edit using line-spacing, short paragraphs with a beginning, middle and end.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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477
477
Review of Hunter  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Sinbad, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Hunter" Open in new Window. by Sinbad

Clarity:A good title that describes the content well.

Writing style:Folklore animal religious.

Are all 3 genres listed?Great, this makes your work available to more readers.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure is good for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialogue seems to be specific to its speaker.

My favorite line:---One who imitates good actions, even outwardly, gets a chance to smell the alluring fragrance of goodness, whereas, one who even hypocritically imitates evil, contacts the odor of the polecat of evil.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: Interesting tale starting with a greedy hunter that transforms into a Saint.

A good idea for this story, it seems like it got stretched out for a word count. This is only one opinion.
This story begins well then starts to loose my attention when it just seems too preachy.

Sinbad, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Consider breaking down some of the longer sentences. Maybe edit to shorten the tale, todays reader seems to prefer short, straight to the point tales.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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478
478
Review of a day in the rain  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hi Rhyssa, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "a day in the rain" Open in new Window. by Rhyssa

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A beautifully worded nature poem. I love poems about nature, seasons, rain...


Artistic Voice and Imagery:The portrait of a young mother nature setting on a bridge with her bare-feet dangling over a stream while a mist of rain cools everything off, is what this reader sees.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:All looks good.

Rhyssa, thank you for sharing your delightful poem.

Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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479
479
Review of astrophysicist  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)

Hi vluxyr, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "astrophysicist " Open in new Window. by vluxyr

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong emotion filled free verse poem. Life has its ups and downs, it is funny how when we're down it feels hopeless yet in what seems like no time then we're back up. It's then we can look back and appreciate the experience. Acknowledging lessons we learned and realizing those lessons made us a stronger person

Artistic Voice and Imagery: For this reader I can see the portrait of slaves working on a cotton plantation a couple hundred years ago.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:Not sure why there is no use of capitol letters.

vluxyr, thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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480
480
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi JT Baker, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"The Conversation " Open in new Window. by JT Baker

Clarity:A good title, however it could better describe the contents of this story.

Writing style:Fantasy teen drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Good job. This makes your work available to more readers.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? A nice structure that is fairly easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog does seem specific to its speaker.

My favorite line:---Basketball season just started and you've ruined 3 sets of clothes already."---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A well written and well described folk tale. Strong character with realistic dialog. This entertaining story carries a realistic flow.

JT Baker, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Consider double spacing and maybe larger font. This will make it easier for those of us with weak eyes.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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481
481
Review of Colorblind  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)

Hi Minnie, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Colorblind" Open in new Window. by Minnie

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A well written free verse poem that is both strong and emotional. So true, when there is the death of someone close I always feel like the world has gotten smaller. I suspose that you are right, it does indeed loose some color.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:For this reader the portrait of a child attending their first funeral is seen.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see nothing at all wrong with this spelling grammar or mechanics of this poem.

Minnie, thank you for sharing your powerful poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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482
482
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Chaotic Evil, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"I'm a girls girl... Here is why " Open in new Window. by Chaotic Evil

Clarity: A great title.

Writing style: Personal opinion drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, this makes your work available to more readers.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure is not good for this reader.



My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: Sometimes life is just a beach. Modern society and human nature can get us all down at certain times in life.

Well told opinion article that expresses your thoughts well. Seems to be written more in a fast rant. A good edit to the format and this could be a top article revealing signs of the time.

In life everyone goes through times when it seems everything is against us. Hang in there, it gets better.

This article reveals a great talent for expressing your thoughts. Use that talent to try and fix things. Time is on your side.

Chaotic Evil, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Consider a good proof read and edit to make the format less intimidating and easier to read.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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483
483
Review of Sunset Melody  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hi HuntersMoon, I came across this delightful psalm while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Sunset Melody" Open in new Window. by HuntersMoon.

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A great tune to this 42 line melody. This is the sunset's melody. A great idea for this awesome lullaby. No doubt a prize winner. A catchy rhyme scheme that stays with the reader. Well done.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the portrait of a composure drifting through time while composing this classic lullaby.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this piece of art.

HuntersMoon, thank you for sharing this beautiful song. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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484
484
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)

Hi Mr. Man, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "If I could be anything" Open in new Window. by Mr. Mans

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:Strong words to this free verse poem. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to choose anything you want to be? Wait some of us can, or can we.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:The portrait of a soul altering time in a dream, is what this reader sees.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling of mechanics.

Mr. Mans, Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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485
485
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Joeman199, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Rivers of Time: A Karnak-Ra adventure" Open in new Window. by Joeman199

Clarity:A good title that catches the readers attention.

Writing style:Fantasy fanfiction drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, good job.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure is not good for the reader. It looks intimidating and is hard for those of us with week eyes.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialog seems appropriate to its speaker.

My favorite line:--- "A cat? Wearing clothes, what magic is this?!"---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A great idea for this story. I like the use of ancient Egypt as well as the reference to Mark Twain.



Joeman199, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Consider breaking down the long paragraphs to short ones with a blank line or two between them. Double-spacing and maybe larger font. This will make it less intimidating for a reader or browser. Consider formatting the dialog more appropriate.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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486
486
Review of Kayaking  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Have a sunshiny day!, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Kayaking" Open in new Window. by Have a sunshiny day!

Clarity:A good title that describes the content good, also catches the readers attention.

Writing style: Biographical adventure drama.

Are all 3 genres listed? Yes, great job.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure and format is fair for the reader.


My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A nicely written well detailed tale of learning to Kayak or first kayak adventure.

I am a canoer and have lived beside a river seems like forever. The title caught my attention. I found this article very well written and formatted with good detailed descriptions that brought back many memories for me.

I just can't imagine kayaking the first time at 70 years old, you've done good. There is nothing about it easy. It is very uncomfortable for a young person even. There is nothing like the rush of manoeuvring down a river in a canoe or kayak. That out weighs all the negatives'. It is good for the body and mind.

This well written strong story has taken me back to remembering the first times learning how.

Your great detailed descriptions make it easy for a reader to picture the scene.


Have a sunshiny day!, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it. Keep paddling.

Suggestions: Nicely formatted however a bit more line spacing would not hurt.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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487
487
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Tim Chiu, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Youths Being Put in Their Place" Open in new Window. by Tim Chiu

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A very informative free verse poem about abusive human nature. No doubt it is too easy for those in power to abuse it.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:The image of someone trying to reveal a magician's secrets is what this reader see's.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:No problems that I see with the mechanics of this poem.

Tim Chiu, thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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488
488
Review of Pretend  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Dear Slim, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Pretend" Open in new Window. by Dear Slim

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A unique free verse poem about relationships. Nicely worded with questions as to what's real.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:The portrait of a child learning to use emojis is what this reader see's.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:No problems that I see with the grammar, spelling or mechanic's.

Dear Slim, thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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489
489
Review of The Rotating Fan  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Winchester, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"The Rotating Fan" Open in new Window. by Winchester Jones

Clarity: A good title that describes the contents o this story well.

Writing style: Mystery adventure drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Great job listing 3 genres.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A great structure and format that does make it easier for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog is individual for each speaker.

My favorite line:---“Okay, that might be right. Who keeps count?”---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: Another great story, Winchester. I just finished reading Punta Mala so I was glad to see another one of your stories pop up.

I like this story also it is very well described with strong characters.

Well told holding this readers attention well from start to finish.

Winchester Jones, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:None.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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490
490
Review of Punta Mala  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi again Winchester Jones, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Punta Mala" Open in new Window. by Winchester Jones


Clarity:Good title for this Pirate adventure.

Writing style:Adventure drama.

Are all 3 genres listed? your work will be available to more readers by using all three genres that you are allowed.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The format and structure is fair for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog seems appropriate to its speaker.

My favorite line:---No morphine today. Today, Jack Granger needed his wits about him.----

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: I really like this story, of course getting killed by pirates sounds a heck of a lot more exciting. A great idea for this contest entry.

A good opening that grabs the readers attention. A great job with the descriptions, this keeps the readers attention through the story. That Jack Granger is quite a character. It sounds like you are familiar with the area and sailing.

To bad about Janet. I hate that Jack didn't get to use his Molotov cocktail.



Winchester Jones, thank you for sharing this work, I love it. A joy to read it.

Suggestions: I hope this won the contest.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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491
491
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi JCosmos, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "in the year 2025 the world ended " Open in new Window. by JCosmos

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: I like this poem. Very well written and I must say it sure gives you something to think about doesn't it. The pandemic showed us that just about anything can happen at anytime and society is not even close to being prepared for many of the worst disasters.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: This reader see's the portrait of a cyber attack making all electronics obsolete. Thus setting the modern society back Millennium's.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems at all that I see with the spelling mechanics or grammar.

JCosmos, thank you for sharing your story, it has begun this reader's mind to Spinning.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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492
492
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Bella N, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "The Valley of Monarch" Open in new Window. by Bella N

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: I really like this sci fi type of poetry. A great idea, well done.
This work contains and maintains a nice constant flow with a realistic tone.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: The portrait of ancient Star Trek type astronauts exploring the cosmos, is painted for this reader.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problem at all with the grammar mechanics or spelling.

WindSpirit 3, thank you for sharing your story.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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493
493
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi WindSpirit3, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "ballads of the mountain caps " Open in new Window. by WindSpirit3

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: Beautifully written poem emphasizing nature and the environment. I like this work and can relate to it as I think most other people will too.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see beautiful mountain peaks with the animals that live there slowly changing from season to season.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can see nothing at all wrong with the grammar spelling or the mechanics.

WindSpirit3, thank you for sharing your work. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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494
494
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Happy to write, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Don't make Gremlins out of your Mogwai!" Open in new Window. by Happy to write

Clarity:A good title for this work.

Writing style:Fantasy folklore.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, that's good making your work available to more potential readers.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? Nicely structured stanzas making it easy for the reader.


My favorite line:---A rage you can hardly deal with,gremlins that just run a-muck---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: I like this work written in a poetic type form. A good bit of world building that could be used over and over in different types work.
Hey great idea for this, I would keep it filed close and use it whenever needed in your writings.

Happy to write, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:A good relook and edit never hurts.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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495
495
Review of Day 32-33  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Fyn, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Day 32-33" Open in new Window. by Fyn

Clarity:A interesting title.

Writing style:Diary style drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Good job.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure could use a bit more line spacing to make it easier on those of us with weak eyes.

:

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:An entertaining tale described very realistically. The work carries this realistic flow from start to finish.

I like the diary style format of this, it seems more real this way.

Fyn,thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: Consider more line spaceing and larger font.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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496
496
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Antony, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"How to Make Money with Carbon Offsets" Open in new Window. by Antony

Clarity: A good title that describes this article well.

Writing style:How to article, educational.

Are all 3 genres listed?No. If you use all 3 genres for this item it will be available to more readers that are looking for this type genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? A good structure and format, however it would be easier for the reader with a bit more spacings between paragraph's.



My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A well written article packed with good information on this subject.

Antony, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: Consider skipping a line between paragraphs and maybe two at new subjects that are in bold. This will make it more appealing to browsers.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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497
497
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Weirdone-Back in the games, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Planning a Party to Please the Lord" Open in new Window. by Weirdone-Back in the games

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A well worded entertaining poem with a nice rhyming pattern that contributes to the realistic flow and tone that this poem carries.

I like the very realistic startup of this work.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: The portrait for this reader: I see a young child writing invitations to his upcoming party.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems at all with the spelling grammar or mechanics, that this reader can find.

Weirdone-Back in the games, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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498
498
Review of The Apple  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jacky, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"The Apple" Open in new Window. by Jacky

Clarity:A nice title for this lovely tale.

Writing style:Flash fiction contest entry.

Are all 3 genres listed?By listing three genres to this work it will be available available to more readers and browsers that are looking for this type genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? Very nicely structured with a good format that is easy for the reader.


My favorite lines:---Growing up was certainly not as much fun at eight as it was at four. Suddenly people were expecting things from him, actions that required thought and work.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A delightful entertaining story. I like the use of the apple and crabby Mr. Andrews. This helps with the realistic flow of this story.

Short but to the point which is exactly what today's modern reader likes.

Jacky, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:None

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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Review of The bridge  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Life's Dreams, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "The bridge" Open in new Window. by Life's Dreams

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong emotion filled poem with a random rhyming pattern that adds to the powerful flow of this work.

Well written and structured, I think most people as I will be able to relate to the strong poem.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: The image of a single member straying away from the direction that a large herd is leading toward. That is the portrait painted for this reader.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Well done. I see no problems at all with the spelling grammar or mechanics.

Life's Dreams, thank you for sharing your poem, a jot to read.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jackiesmuse, I came across this story while random reviewing.


My impressions of:"The Countdown WC: 297" Open in new Window. by Jackiesmuse

Clarity:A great title that describes tis story well.

Writing style:Family children drama.

My favorite line:--- He was always joking about having enough boys for a baseball team.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A nicely written as well as described short family story that most people should relate to because they've been through it too.

A typical scenario you can't make everybody happy at once there is always going to be somebody unhappy.

Jackiesmuse, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: Have a great weekend.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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