dblameck (David)'s (dblameck) Reviews

dblameck (David)

Review Requests: OFF

3,599 Public Reviews Given

5,181 Total Reviews Given

201

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14 days may be credited.

#4468742

Review of snowtime

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Review of Snowtime

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A winter storm is thrust into spring.
The world is expecting warm breezes and flowers but is buried under snow.

POETRY INFORMATION:

free verse

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. Thank you for sharing.

dblameck
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202

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#4468737

Review of Two Kinds of Springs

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Review of Two Kinds of Spring

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Two Modern cinquain form poems about two aspects of that season. Spring a time of renewal and rebirth, and spring a time for robust change.

POETRY INFORMATION:

The poet thoughtfully provides the poetic form information.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Nothing that I can see.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing.

dblameck
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203

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14 days may be credited.

#4468727

Review of The Forbidden Spell

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Review of The Forbidden Spell

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good poem that i enjoyed. There is a witch who is greater than the other three. She seems to have been taken apart and now through some spell she is reforming piece by piece.

POETRY INFORMATION:

The poem is free verse. I read several times.
I found like most poems it is best when read aloud. I can imagine it read by Vincent Price in a slow almost spooky voice.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Record it. Play it along with some other spooky Halloween sounds.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

It brings a slight chill that runs down your spine.

dblameck
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204

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14 days may be credited.

#4468417

Review of Escapism

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Review of Escapism

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The story is hard to unravel. I am patient but this was too prolonged. An expedition of some planet where wierd creatures who are telepathic capture them.
Then it all turns about are the are able to control them by their dreams.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Rolf and Lucille are humans but Rolf is the main character.
The inhabitants of the planet are Beakers.
There is anger and they are in opposition.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

More detail might be helpful.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

thank you for your work.

dblameck
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205

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#4468269

Review of Mother God Mobile

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

Review of Mother God Mobile

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Having taken a medication to relax the mind flits through many different things (this is my experience) This poem seems to be a possible listing of some person's random thoughts.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Free verse. There were a lot of action words used.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I think this is best listened to with one's eyes closed.

dblameck
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206

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#4468245

Review of Branford

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Review of XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem written after attending a jazz concert.
It seems the pace of the music played a large part in the desirability of the content of the concert.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Three verses of four lines each. There is a random rhyming pattern.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Extend your poem.

dblameck
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207

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#4467740

Review of Wolf

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Review of Wolf

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about a wolf and his mate. They do not seem to be a part of a pack. Their is a resemblance to a human couple in the way they are acting.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Free verse

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A good read. Keep writing.

dblameck
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208

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14 days may be credited.

#4467673

Review of The Legend of Wild Bill

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Review of The Legend of Wild Bill

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem comprised of rhyming couplets that tell the story of Wild Bill Hickcock

POETRY INFORMATION:

fifteen four line verses each a reprise of Wild Bill... The rhyming scheme of each verse is A A B B.
This poem could probably best be sung as a ballad.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. This is well done.

dblameck
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209

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#4467562

Review of A Poet In Passing

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Review of Poet in Passing

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
As a poet you have in your possession the possibility to perceive the portion of platitudes that are usually reserved for prisoners of prolonged rapture.

POETRY INFORMATION:

You seem to have captured one letter of the alphabet.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Well done.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I enjoyed it.

dblameck
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210

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#4467505

Review of Research

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Review of Research

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

there is a lot of material here. I am unsure how to connect it all or even why it was collected. There are 3,889 words in this expanse of data.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Numerous characters and I suppose all having something to do with the Christian church.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

A purpose statement would be beneficial.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I really don't know what to think.

dblameck
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211

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14 days may be credited.

#4467377

Review of Words That Reached My Soul

Review by dblameck (David)

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Review of Words That Reached My Soul

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I've read those three articles; the family reunion poem which reminded me of past days that I fear will never come again, the paper boy with the interaction between Bernard and Billy, it made me cry and by the time I had read it the third time my face was wet. The last of stories was a little different however just as powerful a piece. It also created within me a resolve to be a better man in this universe of diversity.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A great cast in these stories. I plan to carefully review each story so to bring honour to each writer.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep sharing with us the things that you have found that move your world and thoughts.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This piece deserves a portfolio raid to see if I can gleem even more gems.

dblameck
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212

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#4467331

Review of Proof, Western Style

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Review of Proof Western Style

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Quick straight forward action.

Just like the gunfight that the story is about.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two shootists, both think they are the best.
Only one way to find out who is the fastest.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Add a "BANG"

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Short but good.

dblameck
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213

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#4467322

Review of The Loneliest Place

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Review of The Loneliest Place

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

What is the loneliest place? this poem seems to infer that the graveyard with the resting place of the dead is just that.

POETRY INFORMATION:

The poem is written in free verse and with short distinct lines.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It is a strong piece because of the epitaphs that are mentioned.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.

dblameck
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214

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#4467315

Review of TRANQUILITY ON THE POND

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Review of TRANQUILITY ON THE POND

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I can almost feel the dampness of the pond with its multitude of creatures existing together in this beautiful environment. Lilies floating on the pond's surface while the dragon-flie's glossy wings reflect the dim light.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

An idyllic scene quite ably defined by the author.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I think the author has done a good job.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. Well done.

dblameck
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215

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#4467145

Review of February 29th

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Review of February 29th

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It seems like a weather report.
It is likely of course that winter will still firmly entrenched in our lives. Since we only have to endure this extra day once every four years makes it a wee bit more bearable.

POETRY INFORMATION:

This poem is written in free verse.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thankyou for sharing.

dblameck
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216

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#4467141

Review of The Perfect Present

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Anniversary Review of The Perfect Present

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

First - Happy Anniversary. I wondered about this story. Do they cut down the tree of just hang the ornament in the tree for Rebecca.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A father is spending his allotted visitation time with his five year old daughter looking for a Christmas tree.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Are they going to cut down this tree?

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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217

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14 days may be credited.

#4467057

Review of Crushed Petals

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Review of Crushed Petals

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The poem seems to be about a love that has somehow been voided. I note the poet's note state that this poem is about rape.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Five verses of three lines followed by one verse of four lines. The first and third of verse rhyme on all verses and also rhyme with the fourth line on the sixth verse.

Also the second line of each verse rhymes through the entire poem.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.This is good stuff.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.

dblameck
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218

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#4467033

Review of Sunrise Sensations

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Review of Sunrise Sensations

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem where the visuals sensations provide the stimulus for the other senses.
I have never thought of this in the past but it does make sense.

POETRY INFORMATION:

There is a six line rhyming pattern of A B A C A D used thru all three verses.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more.

dblameck
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219

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#4466954

Review of Here Lies Santa Clause

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Review of Here Lies Santa Clause

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

We have a conflict here. Children love him and I guess the reindeer do not. The poem is centred around the grave of Santa Clause.

POETRY INFORMATION:

three verses the first and third stanzas have five lines and the second stanza only four lines. Rhyming scheme is A A B C B. The second stanza is free verse.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep writing.

dblameck
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220

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#4466807

Review of Goodbye

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Review of Goodbye

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

an eight line poem depicting the breakup of a relationship. It seems while there was compatability in the beginning it now seems the two are parting ways.

POETRY INFORMATION:

it is free verse and easy to read.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None at this time.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.

dblameck
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221

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#4466756

Review of Legacy

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Review of Legacy

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
What I see in the structure of this poem is the changing relationship in the lives of a couple.
We start as lovers and everything seems to become reserved and commonplace.

POETRY INFORMATION:

See section entitled "Notes" above.
It is more complete info than I could provide.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I suggest you write more because this is pretty good.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.

dblameck
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222

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#4466748

Review of Prayer against Vices

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Review of Prayer against Vices

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short prayer dealing with the simple vices and support for those combating them. He asks for God's help to deal with actions and minds of those who addicted.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Written in three verses with each end line rhyming.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

There can never be too many prayers and I know those who suffer with these addictions sometimes seem hopeless to wind against these things.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more.

dblameck
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223

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#4466712

Review of Labrynth

Review by dblameck (David)

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Review of Labrynth

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An encounter at the bar. The female character is dressed to attract the the male character seems eager to engage in adult activity. There is a twist at the end.

POETRY INFORMATION:

This is free verse poetry but the line length sets up motion of activity.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I have an alternate ending

Coming up for air,
She whispered…
“Please, tell me
that’s a gun…”

FINAL THOUGHTS:

well done do you have similar material ibn your portfolio.

dblameck
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224

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#4466657

Review of The reef

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

Review of XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A novice diver shares her experiences in a warm water dive on the Great Barrier reef off of the coast of Australia.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

three characters are involved. Briefly the dive supervisor, secondly the dive partner a girl from Oklahoma and then the diver herself. She has new experiences and does things a novice diver might and as she becomes comfortable seems to enjoy the environment.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Use a larger font because it is easier to read. You might also think of experimenting with colour since you move from a colourless environment to one of
outstanding colour.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good work. Keep writing and sharing.

dblameck
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#4466392

Review of No Beef!

Review by dblameck (David)

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Review of No Beef

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A neat story about a police officer who has a fobia about meat.
He does not eat it and even does not like the smell. He is teamed with another police officer who is completely different and even smells like cooked meat.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Bob detests the beef and George smells like meat.
They are looking for missing tourists.
I don't want to give away anymore of the plot.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A good read.

dblameck
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