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151
151
Review of Misguided Methods  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



Review of Misguided Methods

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Man learns how to bring in-aminate objects to life. He does this with mannequins. When he tries to take thier life back, they revolt and attack him.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Jon is the man who brings things to life. Lena is the first mannequin who later rebels, Jon has to destroy her with a hatchet but the others come after him. Like zombies but made of wood.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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152
152
Review of Dreaming  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Dreaming

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem where two people share their love in so many different ways.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Eleven rhyming couplets form the basis for the poem.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good rhyming and sensitive emotions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!

dblameck
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153
153
Review of Journey to Jukai  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)



Review of Journey to Jukai

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft This novel was selected using the read and review option.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very impressive piece of work. I admit I only skimmed the story bt enjoyed the character development and the ending.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Josh and Emily are prime characters and are developed thru the thirty-six chapters.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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154
154
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Someone I Admire

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Twenty-seven lines of admiration for mother. Simple and straight forward praise.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Random rhyming scheme fits well with the theme.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!

dblameck
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155
155
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Dream Wolves

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Interesting story. Perhaps it is all a dream. Wolves do not usually use chains to restrict their prey. Yellowknife is a fairly large community and the area around it also reasonably populated. It seems the large tract of land described in the story would have to be a fair distance from a town.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Ayla Lilly Fang has moved to Yellowknife from Vicksburg. there will be a large difference in so many things. weather, sunlight and distances between things just to name a few. The extremely large grey wolf seems to have human attributes.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Who is Rick? There is too much I statements in the story. Describe what where who and why without always expressing what your only character is doing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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156
156
Review of The Letter Home  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)



Review of The Letter Home

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is not a story that I came easily read. I had written my own letter when I served. But being a peacekeeper was not at dangerous as being in combat. the story was well written and brought a sheen to my eyes.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A good story and it was well and delicately told.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more with this passion.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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157
157
Review of Sticky Notes  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Sticky Notes

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short something using sticky notes. Many people use the little pieces of paper to remind themselves to do things. This articles seems to have a list of things not to do.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

everything seems to depend on Pia. the notes tell us what to do and what not to do.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

More detail would be helpful.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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158
158
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Writing the Synopsis

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good overview of what is required to produce a valid synopsis to send to an editor for selection of your material. Along with the examples this material should be useful to any writer.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Good detail on how to prepare a synopsis including the size of material to be shared.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Well written and a valuable tool.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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159
159
Review of Jelly  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Jelly

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

a couple of guys in discussion of jelly and how it was used when they were kids. One had sisters and the other did not.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Russ and Sam grew up much differently. there are some questions about the proper way to serve and consume jelly.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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160
160
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Caitlin's Synopsis for Bruises Fade

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A story about a woman who unfortunately jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. Caitlin marries a man who is abusive. She goes to a group to find a way out.
Her husband finds out and beats her. Her friend helps her escape only to enslave her himself.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Carl is the abusive husband and Patrick the man who is just as bad as Carl.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

fill in more of the details. woman need to be protected from this type of man.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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161
161
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)



Review of My Little Corner of the House



First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Having your own space can be important. Here we have a vivid description of the space that the writer has selected for him/herself. I found the description of the couch to be very memorable. Great detail.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The characters are inaminate objects which fill the space.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more. This is good!

FINAL THOUGHTS:


Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxdxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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162
162
Review of Silly Little Moon  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)



Review of Silly Little Moon

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about the sun speaking to the moon.

POETIC INFORMATION:

Nine four line verses with a rhyming scheme of A B C B.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

i enjoyed the banter of the sun as of course the moon is just the reflection of the sun.

FINAL THOUGHTS:


Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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163
163
Review of he wasnt worth it  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)



Review of He Wasn't Worth It

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

well haven't we all been in that situation. Where we have met someone and they just fill us with good thoughts and feelings. Then later we realize that this other person is not what we think they are.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I particularly liked the comparison of the star and the comet.
Having to deal with all that dust when you were looking for a star.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I feel you could extend this piece.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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164
164
Review of Daffodil Laughter  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Daffodil Laughter

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A pleasant poem with an emphasis towards the flowers of spring.we are still a few weeks away from that but I am looking expectantly towards it.

POETRY INFORMATION:

A Quatrin is a 4-stanza poem with each stanza consisting of 4 8-syllable lines.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good expression of colour. I always like to see that.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!

dblameck
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165
165
Review of Uncaged Grace  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Uncaged Grace

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A simple four line poem which has a mellow tone which is relaxing.

POETRY INFORMATION:

The first two lines rhyme.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!

dblameck
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166
166
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of A Letter to Jack and Jill

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very cute way of touching on two nursery rhymes.

GENERAL INFORMATION:

The letter is sent to jack and Jill from all the King's horses and men as detailed in the two rhymes. Perhaps a little more detail of the how they got the news of the fall would enhance the letter.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

This brought a smile to my face.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this delightful item!

dblameck
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167
167
Review of Mary's Lucky Day  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)



Review of Mary's Lucky Day

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good tale for Saint Patrick's Day. A woman is down on her luck and she and her son are living on charity. She is hoping she will find a job when she gets visited by a leprechaun. The leprechaun magically changes her luck.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Three characters Mary, the mother, Liam her son and J Patrick O'Malley the leprechaun.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I don't see any errors or omissions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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168
168
Review of Going Fishing  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Going Fishing

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Success. A good catch on a day of fishing. This poem catches the emotions when a nice size fish is caught. It is a pleasant story with good detail.

POETRY INFORMATION:

This is free form poetry. It paints a vivid picture of
the event.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It could be longer but it seems to be complete.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!

dblameck
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169
169
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)



Review of The New Yorkshire Times

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

the author states that in past years the news was passed by town criers who made up poems to facilitate getting the news out to the common man. The man reading the newspaper decides he will give his wife the news in that fashion.

POETRY INFORMATION:

There seemed no end of little poetic four liners that this poet has been able to tie into news items that could be drawn from the local newspaper.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Create more of these gems from the headlines of today.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I enjoyed reading this.Thanks for sharing this item!

dblameck
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170
170
Review of Freak  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of Freak

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A carnival side show exhibit is Raheesha who has suffered flesh eating disease and as such her face is horribly disfigured. She lives in horrible conditions.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It seems that the lions are out of their cages and approaching Raheesha wagon.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I know the word count is limited but the story moves too abruptly without explanation.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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171
171
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



Review of On Teaching Freshmen Composition

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A teacher can get frustrated and so it seems in this poem.
Freshmen classes are of course the hardest to get any great break thrus.
I suppose composition is difficult for those who have never studied it.

POETRY INFORMATION:

Forty-two lines of free verse poetry.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!

dblameck
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172
172
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Prayer for Sadness

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The poem deals with sadness and the aspects that the Lord had to deal with sadness in His life. It is a very good poem and prayer.

POETRY INFORMATION:

The first verse does not have any rhyming pattern. The second, third and verses have the rhyming pattern of A B A B. The poem ends with a rhyming couplet.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Intercessory prayer when we prayer for others. It is an important aspect of prayer.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!

dblameck
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173
173
Review of Dearest Nearest  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of Dearest Nearest

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

In effect this is a mature love letter. This couple has grown past the need for constant attention and have come to where they are comfortable with each other.
realizing that they will now be apart the woman in this story is thinking about what she will miss.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

No names just the relationship tags of husband and wife.
A comfortable couple. They are going to be apart and the wife is already missing things about the husband.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write the other side of the relationship.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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174
174
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Marissa and her friend Bridget

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This piece was selected for me to review by the "Read & Review" system.


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Being dropped into the middle of a story is sometimes difficult.
This story seems to be about two friends who I think live in San Francisco.
The story has deep connections with fashion and in fact seems to be a venue for the author to describe things she finds fashionable.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

There seems to be a special relationship between the two woman and while it is not romantic I think it could lead that way. Bridgette is giving expensive and fashionable gifts to Marissa. Michael and the ties that he is given do not match the level of gifts for Marissa.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Give more detail of the people and not just the clothes.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This is like watching a commercial for a high line woman's clothing store.
Thanks for sharing this item!


dblameck
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175
175
Review of sample -1/14  Open in new Window.
Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)



Review of Sample 1/14

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Taking metaphors and describing them without using certain phases.
An interesting exercise.

POETRY INFORMATION:

There are four verses of four lines with rhyming pattern of A B C B.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Find some more metaphors.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing this item!

dblameck
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