I am here to give you the last review you will receive from me as part of your number 5 cNote package from "Invalid Item" that you won in the Rainbow Ribbon Auction.
This is a fantastic Poem and one which echoes with so much truth. You clearly depict the effect players have upon their innocent victims. Psychic vampires such as these are not worth the time of day, afterall who can love someone who so obviously does not love or respect themselves?
I found your item to be inspirational because the character is aware of what is happening and intends to put a stop to it. Many people do not have this advanatge and some who do, turn a blind eye to their misgivings. The character in this Poem is standing strong and is prepared to tackle this manipulator head on.
It was a great write and one I would urge all members of WDC to read and review.
Well done and write on.
This is review number 2 of 3 you will receive as part of the number 5 cNote package you won in the rainbow Ribbon Auction from "Invalid Item" .
This is a poem based on empathy. The main character is not only feeling the pain of their own trials and tribulations they are also feeling the pain of others too. The Poem is expressed and delivered gently to the reader.
My only suggestion is to incorporate (i) into the content. It feels as though the lines are not forming properly because this reference has not been made. The Poem would read much smoother if you were to consider adding it.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
I am here to give you the first of three reviews you will receive from me as part of the number 5 cNote package from "Invalid Item" , you won in the Rainbow Ribbon Auction.
This Poem is truly expressed beautifully. The loneliness and depression of the main character is potently visible through out the entire content and these feelings are ejected onto the reader in a strong manner.
I am not usually a fan of repetition and try to encourage others to stray from it but it is has been used elegantly in this Poem. The line you chose to repeat in the content is one of the most powerful lines featured in the Poem and I feel this line is actually what creates such a fierce emotional impact.
The presentation is perfect and there is nothing about this Poem I would change.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement are not required.
You have so many different cNote shops and they are all great! I feel like a kid in a candy store and don't know which ones to buy.
All of the images are of great quality and they have all been to reasonable prices.
I am thrilled I have found one specific portal which will take me to a wonderland full of images to suit my personal needs.
Hello SHERRI GIBSON
I am here to give you the last review you will receive from me as part of your win at the Rainbow Ribbon.
This is a very sad Poem centrally based on the emotions felt when one is forced to let go of something they would rather hold on to. It has been delivered nicely to the reader and with enough potency for the viewer to be moved by the words.
I like that you have written this item in free verse and with simplicity. It shows the reader the raw emotions and thoughts of the character the item is centered upon.
Again, my only tip is to incorporate some punctuation. I feel this is required more from a presentation perspective than an improvement mechanism in this poem.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello SHERRI GIBSON
I am here to give you review number 2 of 3 you will receive from me as part of your win at the Rainbow Ribbon.
Your Poem is centrally based on someone experiencing so much hurt, that they have been left with no other alternative than to shut themselves off completely. Sadly, this is a defense mechanism which is used often by people who have experienced these constant blows.
I feel the item reads well but needs some slight adjusting to read perfectly. (I) should be incoroprated into the first stanza of your Poem to make the sufficent connection between the reader and the item. It allows the reader to see an intimacy within the content of the main character.
Also a slight sprinkling of punctuation will do wonders for your item. Nothing major, just a few elements of it here and there to spruce up your flow and pace.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello SHERRI GIBSON
I am here to give you the first of three reviews you will receive from me as part of your auction win at the Rainbow Ribbon.
There has been a huge amount of emotion captured within this small Poem. The emotion captured is not one in particular but many different ones all weaved together. There is a detection of remorse, regret, sadness, anger but also a sense of freedom of being released from something which was a fruitless venture.
Tip- Line 4 of the first stanza requires a period at the end of the line.
Hello suser:kiyasama}
Congratulations on your nomination into "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" . You were nominated by the Affected By Abuse Group and stacylynn71 for the Maya Angelou package. I am here to give you the first of two reviews you will receive from me as part of this package.
I think you did a fantastic job in creating a very vivid and in depth scene with the use of dialogue only.
You depict a story of a woman who is visiting the grave of the man she loves. She has something very important to tell him and is experiencing regret she was unable to do it before it was too late.
You delve even deeper into the item by showing the reader, through the conversation, how it was these two people became a couple to begin with. I am quite literally in awe of the fact you were able to construct a story so brilliantly without anything other than dialogue to express it.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement are not required.
*Fantastic job*
Well done and write on.
Hello Daizy May
Congratulations on your nomination into "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" . You were nominated by a secret fan to receive the Sylvia Plath package. I am here to give you one FAN-ATIC review of 9 you will receive in total from the gifters.
I enjoyed reading this Poem. Although the Poem is centered on someone receiving some peace and relaxation from the calming aura of nature, the item had the same effect upon me and I found the content to be hypnotic and entirely soothing.
Many of your lines seem to fuse into one another. There are many sections where the line has been dropped mid-way to follow on to another line where most people would keep the two seperate for a smoother reading experience. I feel that what you have done is great because it is different and the rhythm and timing of the item are spiced up by this action but in order for it to generally work, punctuation must be added to guide the reader accurately through these zones.
Tip- Title featured as the header requires a space inserted between 'Words' and 'To'.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Best of luck to you in the Ink Blot monthly draw.
Well done and write on.
Hello KarenDFW
I am stopping by to give you a review.
I like the warm emotions within your item. They are gentle and reach out to touch the reader.
The pact between mother and son is visible in the item and this was essentially the highlight for me.
I feel there is some room for improvement within your item. Clarity and depth needs to be fused into your item. The story within the Poem is a scratch upon the surface and you are not really giving the reader anything to sink their teeth into. Some of the lines are very large in length and your presentation would benefit if you were to tidy it up by trimming some of them down.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Thanks for the read. Well done and write on.
Hello Ledan
I am stopping by to give you a review.
I love the storyline. I appreciated the fact that although the item was centrally based upon the unnamed man and unnamed woman, a personal experience of the Grim Reaper unfolded at the end. It was great to read two different situations fused together.
My only suggestion for you in regards to do with improvement is to name one of the main characters. The use of 'he' and 'she' is abundant within your item and this needs to be eliminated to smooth out the story.
Line 2- A space needs to be inserted after the period at the end of must.
Thanks for a good read and I look forward to reading more of your writing.
Well done and write on.
I am a dark poet by nature and preference but I do occassionally like to read items which concentrate on positive emotions being felt by the main character. It is great to read of moments like these which make ones heart race, palms sweat from nerves and those relentless butterflies in the stomach when we are in the presence of someone we feel is significant.
You have captured all of these positive energies in your Poem very well. There are only two areas which are in need of improvement and these are punctuation and certain sections of your rhyme.
For the most part, the rhyme is consistent but there are a few small sections which feel false and forced into position such as the rhyme on line 12. After reading the entire Poem a few times it is effortless to see that this rhyme has no place in that part of the Poem.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
You have captured a fabulous rhythm in your Poem. Majority of all aspects which make up a good Poem have been covered. There is good, descriptive wordplay, excellent imagery, pace, rhythm, flow, and the mood of the Poem is light and upbeat.
My only suggestion is to punctuate your item. There is nothing else lacking in your Poem and it seems a shame to leave one aspect absent.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to use what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello JoyceFox
I am stopping by to give you a review.
The title is great. It captured my attention immediately and encouraged me to read your item.
The content is dark and foreboding and as I am a dark writer, I was completely taken with it. Biased? Yes, but dark writing is my passion.
I have only one suggestion for improvement to offer you.
The Poem has a furious pace because you have refrained from using punctuation. Your item would benefit if you were to either, add the punctuation and leave it in its original presentation or create some divisions to help slow down the pace. A dark item such as this, requires a rhythm which is slow and lulling to draw the reader into the depths of your dark words.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello,
After visiting this shop to puchase cNotes for my friends many times, I promised myself to come back and give it a review when I was able and I finally made it.
The images are wonderful. The quality is of the upmost and the colors are vibrant and cheerful.
Your collection covers almost every occasion I have needed at any time.
I feel the prices are very reasonable due to the selection and quality and I am pleased to see the shop has been awarded and received some much deserved recognition. Thank you for allowing us to have such a fantastic shop which meets our personal needs.
Your Poem is centrally based upon the overwhelming emotions of someone who is struggling with change.
The emotions being expressed in this item are ones of desperation, defeat and pure fright. These are all potent and are ejected onto the reader with ease. The viewer is left reeling in a state of anxiety as they work their way through your item.
I like where you were going with this but the item itself did not quite get over the finish line for me.
All mechanical aspects of your item are in need of attention. Your starting Points have not been capitalized as required. The only punctuation noted in your item comes in the form of elipses which have been positioned incorrectly and there are a handful of lines which are in need of a re-write for better formation.
All suggestions and comments are offered in the spirit of helping you. Feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello {susr:bluemooner1}
I am here to review your entry into round 11 of the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1390901 by Not Available.
Your Poem is centered on a very negative look at the world. In the harsh times we live in, your item and your views are justified and warranted. I can relate to the aspects of your Poem which make reference to people wearing masks. This is true to a certain degree but has society not prompted people to do so?
The pressure upon the human race to be perfect in every possible way is tremendous and there are many people out there who like to zero in on peoples short comings rather than their strengths. This alone, is enough to entice people to masquearde their true indentites. The only factor of your content which is mildly shaky is that you point out all people are like this. This is presumptuous and somewhat shades the quality of your message.
The rhyme in your Poem is working well and adds volume to the piece. It is all direct and carries a consistent rhythm through out your item.
From a presentation perspective, some of the larger lines could do with a little snip in order to keep your Poem looking neat and tidy.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Well done and write on.
Hello Dave
I am here to review your round 11 entry into:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1390901 by Not Available.
The first thing I will say is; I was unfamiliar with this format but courtesy of the link of information provided below I was able to judge this accurately and fairly. Thanks!
The Poem itself is very romantic and inspirational and effortless to interpret.
You aced the presentation side of things with a Poem which looks as strong as it actually reads.
From a personal point of view I will say I am not overly fond of the format because I am anti-repetition (personal preference) but this will not influence my judgement of your item.
This round was prompt free and I feel you did an amazing job of showing the judges your creativity and faith in your own ability as a writer to try something new.
There are no visible errors in your content and suggestions for improvement are not required.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Well done and write on.
Hello Shaziane
I am here to review your entry for round 11 into:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1390901 by Not Available.
The content of your Poem is based on a character who has done something wrong in the past and now feels as though these consequences are going to come back to haunt them.
There is much regret in the Poem which is brilliant because this emotion is essentially what should be shining through in an item such as this.
There is also a lot of guilt in your item and it seems the main character is a victim of her own punishment. At no point in the content does it directly express the significant other in her new relationship is punishing her. We are given her thoughts and actions only.
The content is generally good. The reference to 'please love me' is abundant and I feel slightly extreme as her desperation is shown very early on in the piece. However this is just an obseravtion and in no way do you have to agree with me.
The display of your Poem could use some improvement. Many of the lines are very large in length whilst others are shorter and there seems to be no particular pattern to this. I would suggest trimming the content down to more crisp and compact lines with either meter or just the elimination of words which have no importance.
In general, I think you did a good job, especially from an emotional aspect. The feelings of the main character were potent and jumped out to the reader.
Please keep in mind, all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of kindness. Feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Well done and write on.
Hello sccrwriter03
Welcome to WDC. I am stopping by to give you a review.
I like your Poem. It is cute and has been written in a natural tone of expression.
It is short but to the point. You say what needs to be said, no more and no less.
You have chosen to display majority of your Poem in a triplet format. From a display perspective this looks great. Everything is neat and tidy and nicely trimmed into compact lines.
There are a few small errors in your content and I will point them out to you as follows:
Line 1- The 'c' in caring and the 't' in ture do not require capitalization.
Line 2- Period (fullstop) at the end of this line.
Line 3- The 's' in sweet does not need to be capitalized.
Line 4- Comma at the end of the line.
Line 5- Period at the end of the line.
Line 7- The 't' in truly does not require capitalization.
Line 8- Period at the end of the line.
Line 9- Remove the comma at the end of this line.
Line 10- Place a comma at the end of this line.
Line 11- Period at the end of the line.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello Writing ♥er
I am stopping by to give you a review.
Hmm your item is one which would call for much debate between adults and minors. I think your Poem has been constructed well but it reads more like prose than Poetry. This is just my opinion and in no way do you have to agree.
The content of the item is something which I feel has been written with an obscured view. You mock and even flaunt the fact that you believe a 13- 14 year old does not have the ability to know the difference between right and wrong. This in itself, is wrong and I will tell you why.
From birth our parents instill this into us by telling us what we can and can't touch, don't touch this or this may happen. If you do this, this may happen. Right from the onset we are taught the difference between right and wrong in an array of different ways and these are lessons which never cease through out our lifetimes. To say one does not know the difference between right and wrong is an excuse used to justify misgivings. In some countries, such as my own, the legal age limit is 18 years of age. To an adolescent of 13-14 years of age this only leaves 4-5 years until they are legally classed as an adult. If by this age you do not know the difference between right and wrong then there is a serious problem.
Of course this is just my opinion. As you are entitled to your own expression so are others. This does not mean you have to agree.
Tip- Outrages should read as outrageous.
The abundance of exclamation marks are not needed. You are right in using them in the areas you have but one is sufficent.
Hello SoloIQ
Welcome to WDC. I'm stopping by to give you a review.
This is a well written and thoroughly thought out Poem. Your item has a fast and steady pace which remains consistent through out the duration of the item.
You do a very good job of misleading your viewer into thinking things which are far from the true picture.
You lead us to believe, Doris is a prostitute only for us to find out at the end she is infact not. (I won't go into too much detail, I don't want to spoil it for others)
Last line of the 4th stanza- its should read as it's.
Hello care_a_lot
I am here to give you the last review you will receive as part of your number 5 cNote from "Invalid Item"
This was gifted to you by an anonymous reviewer.
This is an interesting write and if further focus is fused into it, the item could become very funny.
I will do a line by line with you but please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. In no way, whatsoever, do you have to listen to me.
Lines 1 & 2- The second line should not be broken from the first. They need to be re-connected so the sentence structure is correct.
Line 3- up to date should read as 'up-to-date'.
Line 6- remove 'a really' and replace it with 'an'.
Line 7- comma is needed after 'after all'.
Line 8- Capitalization is used to enforce a raised voice or volume in general. This is not your intention, you only wish to place signifcance, so italics for 'years' would be better suited.
Line 14- 'I want eat'. This needs to be changed unless it is your intention for the reader to believe Herb is impaired.
Line 15- Insert a question mark after eat.
Line 17- This line needs to be re-worked in its entirety. It does not form correctly.
Line 18- Remove the first mention of 'being'.
Your item also included a profanity and as such should have a higher rating content.
The limination of the repetition of machinery should also be considered.
I believe once you are able to find the time to concentrate on this a little more, it will be a quirky and funny read. Don't give up, work with it!
Hello care_a_lot
Congratulations on rceiving the number 5 cNote from "Invalid Item"
This package was gifted to you by an anonymous member. This is review 2 from 3 you will receive.
This entire item reads like a personal debate. You begin by explaining to the reader why you believe 'Sims' is just as important as homework and amazingly, you actually make some valid points. Perhaps understandable would be a more accurate definition.
The second section is dedicated to depression. This is obvious to the reader and a fellow sufferer of the same condition, when you are relaying, you wish you could shut yourself off from the real world and you feel the game provides this escape from reality.
The item then twists and changes course. The content in the third section sounds regretable and almost defeated. You know the right and smart option is to complete your homework and it is expressed to the reader that you would like too, but cannot force yourself to focus on it.
The emotions in this item are rampant and change swiftly. You have also thrown some personal information into the mix, which I feel allows the reader to sutain a deeper connection with the item.
You end the item with: "When will I listen?".
The answer to this question is- When you choose too.
I do make one small suggestion and this is to read over your item once more. There are two typos in the first paragraph and many punctuation errors.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello care_a_lot
Congratulations! You have been chosen to receive the number 5 cNote package from "Invalid Item" .
This was gifted to you by an anonymous member.
I enjoyed reading this item. I think it is very important to set goals for oneself to aspire to. It creates motivation and gives the individual something to work towards. It is always a good thing to give yourself some direction.
There is a large selection of different contests and activities in which you hope to enter. Some of them I have heard of and or entered myself and I can tell you they are great! Some, I am unfamiliar with, but I am certain they would also be good. How could they not be when they are created by WDC members?
I wish you the best of luck in everything you do.
Way to go!
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