Hello Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ
This is the final review you will receive from me as part of your deluxe package from "Invalid Item"
This package was gifted to you by drjim
This is an excellent item to end the reviews with. I am so pleased I decided to review this one.
It is funny, witty and just in general adorable. Honestly, who could not like this?
You aced the rhyme wth ease. At no point during the item does it feel forced in any way and the rhythm is flawless. The display of the Poem is delivered in a tidy manner.
I love the story within the Poem. It was funny, cute and very creative. In all honesty I cannot find anything about this item I do not like. Way to go!
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement are not required.
It was a pleasure to review you.
Well done and write on.
Hello Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ
I am here to give you review 9 of 10 you are to receive from me as part of the deluxe package from "Invalid Item"
This package was purchased for you by drjim
The moment I read the title I just HAD to read the item. Only recently I watched a horror movie titled 'Boogeyman' and I can assure you, it was very different to this.
Again, I am amazed and in awe of how easily you are able to take a dark theme and put a light spin on it. This is not always an easy task to carry out and yet you manage to make it look effortless.
This was a great item. I enjoyed the beginning because it was misleading. When reading, I thought you were 'innocently' building it up for something terrifying. How wrong was I?
The item actually does a complete tailspin and becomes playful and teasing in nature. I loved it!
The contrast between the two text colors is quite attractive. An excellent show of craftmanship is shown here.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement are not required.
Hello Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ
This is review number 8 of 10 you are to receive from me as part of your package from "Invalid Item"
This package was gifted to you by drjim
This is a beautiful 55 word story. The scene you have set is one of yearning. A mother yearning for her son's return from a tour of duty. The emotions this invokes are potent and moving. The reader is urged to sympathize with the character but then the item turns to one of inspiration and hope. The reader is praying, as is the mother, for the safe return of her son. You did a marvelous job!
Tip- 2nd line, you have doubled spaced after 'would'.
There are no other visible errors in this item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Hello Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ
I am here to give you review number 7 of 10 you are to receive from me as part of your deluxe package from "Invalid Item"
This package was gifted to you by drjim
Yet another comical item penned by you and what a good one it is!
The rhythm in this item is sensational and the pace is fast which pushes the reader through the content at a rapid speed.
I loved the use of ML to express the feelings for the particular lines in which it has been incorporated. I found it to be creative, funny and in general different. It made the light hearted tone of the item shine through brighter.
The rhyme is working to the best of its ability in this item. Each rhyming section is concrete and does not waver for a moment.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
Hello Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ
I am here to give you review number 6 of 10 you are to receive as part of the deluxe package from "Invalid Item"
This package was purchased for you by drjim
I like where you were going with this but it didn't quite take me over the finish line. I have not been able to work out if this is written to a pattern I am unaware of or the pattern simply slipped. If it was written to a specific format it does not do your item justice.
The beginning stanza began very strong, setting the scene for the viewer. We knew we were being led to something comical right from the offset and the rhyme enhanced this.
The rhyme in stanza two is visible on lines 1,2 and 4. Line 3 is left to fend for itself and is a thorn among the rose bushes.
The pattern changes entirely in stanza 3 and by this stage any rhythm previously developed is completely lost.
However, I do feel the content itself is of value. If you were to concentrate on the rhyme pattern and the structure of the item, this Poem would sing! Perhaps some form of meter may also be helpful for this Poem? I also noticed there is no punctuation in this item. It is entirely your decision if you choose to add it or not but I think your item would benefit greatly if you did.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ
This is review number 5 of 10 from your deluxe package at "Invalid Item"
This was gifted to you by drjim
I love the way you are able to write cheeky items. Usually with comical items one finds it can go three ways. Either it is a flop and is not considered funny at all, in a desperate attempt to fuse the item with side-splitting comedy it becomes more of a wth? item or you can strike a perfect balance. You have struck a perfect balance in this item.
What a horrible cruise this seemed to be. The confusion of the characters gender because of the neutral name was hilarious not to mentiothe vigorous room mate! The poor thing, I was laughing and shaking my head at the same time.
The end was great.
Clear all your cases, this is going to make us rich!
A perfect ending to a funny item. The signing of the name is an added bonus.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
I love this tongue-in-cheek Poem. It lifts the spirits and gives us a humorous look at the horrors which can occur at tree decoration time.
I am trying to pull my thoughts together here but I cannot stop laughing!
This is one of the better items I have read based on the Christmas season and all it entails.
I do have one suggestion and this is to punctuate. I feel this Poem definitely needs it, to keep the pace, flow and rhythm all in synchronization.
All suggestions and comments are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ
This is review number 3 from the deluxe package from "Invalid Item" which was gifted to you by drjim
Much thought has gone into the creation of this Acrostic. The central word Friday is essentially an easy word to use but this is different when you have chosen to use the same word for a total of three times. This takes skill and dedication to create an item where each new word depicts something diferent fom the previous or following.
There are no visible errors and no suggestions for improvement are required.
You showed everyone vividly why we all love fridays!
Hello Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ
I am here to give you review number 2 of 10 you will receive as part of your deluxe package from "Invalid Item"
I enjoyed reading this quirky Poem. It has been presented to the reader in a neat and compact fashion and the text and font color look great in the display.
I liked the rhyme. It was not bland and really gave your item some good rhythm and volume. It was good to see that you refrained from rhyming ordinary and common words. Your creativity shone through in this item with ease.
The repetition at the end of majority of the verses was fantastic! This also enhanced an already consistent rhythm which flowed through the item.
It was invigorating to read your creative spin on vampires. It was very different from the ordinary and the comical aspects were a treat!
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
Hello Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ
Congratulations! You have received the deluxe package from "Invalid Item" . This package was gifted to you by drjim
I'm here to give you the 1st of 10 reviews you will receive from me as part of this package.
This Poem is so beautiful. It is romantic and Poetic in every sense of the word. It invokes warm sensations to rise within the reader because it is moving. It almost has an epic quality.
The blue font was a great choice of color to select purely because it enhances the sections in your Poem where reference is made to the sea.
All sections of your item are potent in content. I do not feel there is any need for editorial instruction in regards to do with this.
I do have one small suggestion and this is to punctuate the item. If you were to consider applying punctuation it would help to guide the reader through your item at the pace you intended. I do not feel the lack of it hurts your item in anyway but it will add more strength if it is noted.
All suggestions and comments are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
This is an exquisite write and one I would encourage all members to read.
Well done and write on.
Hello Oldwarrior
Congratulations on your nomination into "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" . You were nominated by ShiShad to receive the Hemingway package.. I am here to give you 1 of 9 reviews you will receive from the FAN-ATIC Gifters.
Your Poem has been written in couplets. This is a format which I admire because I feel it looks tidy from a display perspective and it delivers the messages lingering within the items clearer to the reader. Your item is no exception to the rule. Your message of love and gratitude is displayed to the reader with force leaving no room for mis-interpretation.
The content is romantic in every sense of the word. You show the viewer how important your wife is to you. You show appreciation for the life you have both built together and the time which has been shared.
I think this is a beautiful piece of Poetry and it is effortless to see this has been written with your heart.
What a fantastic Valentines day present!
There are no visible errors in your item and no suggestions for improvement need to be made.
The item is perfect as it is.
Best of luck to you in the Ink Blot monthly draw.
Well done and write on.
Hello 🌖 HuntersMoon
Congratulations on your nomination into "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" . You were nominated to receive a 'H G Wells package'. I am here to give you review number two of three you will receive from me.
The title of your item is 'Revenge' and after reading it, I could not think of a more appropriate title.
I must admit, and I know it is cheeky, but I love it when I am afforded the opportunity to do the exact same thing. I promise though, it is never unwarranted!.
I like the way your Poem reads more like a story than poetic verse. You set the scene nicely and the reader is made aware of where the events that will tanspire are going to unfold.
Information is offered at the beginning of the item to warrant your actions. The reader knows that your actions are justified to a degree and I feel this element enhances the comical aspects.
I do not feel the 'payback' was overtly evil in nature but more a tongue-in-cheek snipe of a past issue. She should have known better than to approach you after your obvious body language gave her insight not to.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
Welcome to WDC! I am stopping by to give you a review.
It is very obvious that you possess a talent for rhyme. The rhyme in your Poem is fantastic and no part of it seems out of place or forced in any way.
The message of temptation and its consequences is very strong in your Poem. You deliver this crystal clear to the reader and leave no room for mis-interpretation.
There are only three areas in your Poem which I feel need further attention. I will point them out to you as follows but please keep in mind all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
The first issue I will address is the repetition. The constant use of the word 'temptation' is overwhelming and because it is extreme this overshadows the rest of the content. You make it very clear to the reader in your title, item description and beginning of your Poem that this is centered on 'temptation' so the repetition becomes an annoyance as we are forced to weave through it to get to something fresh. This is something you should definitely try to eliminate.
Line 8- This line needs to be re-worked because it does not make sense the way it has been written. It is coming across as malformed and needs an adjustment.
Final line- The (i) featured on the last line of your item needs to be capitalized because you are making a direct reference to yourself.
From a structural perspective your item is well presented. It is easy to read and appears tidy.
Welcome to WDC! I am stopping by to give you a review.
Your 'Poem' reads well due to the informative descriptions. You use many different, creative ways to describe where the character is, what is surrounding him and the events which are transpiring. This is great, because the reader is made to feel more comfortable whilst reading your item because of the detailed navigation.
The actual message of the Poem was somewhat shady. The item is titled 'Ladies Man' and I can only presume this is a reference to the man who makes a highly anticpated entrance into the establishment. The man who speaks out, is speaking from a place of envy and sour grapes. He is disillusioned by his own perspective and as such, his thoughts make him seem shallow and inferior. He obviously does not possess any real confidence of his own and his actions make this clear to the reader.
There are no visible errors in your item but I do have one suggestion. I think your Poem would benefit if you were to write it as prose. The poetry structure does not enhance the content and whilst there are some fabulous images weaved through the item they are not poetic in nature. Your item would work much better if you were to write it as a short story or prose.
Please keep in mind all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Feel free to use what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Well done and write on.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Helping Hearts seeking more members.
"Invalid Item"
A group devoted to helping new members of WDC.
"Invalid Item"
I am here to give you a review for your donation into "Invalid Item"
This is a free verse Poem, written with the central theme that any storm can be weathered so long as someone you hold dear is prepared to stick it out with you.
I feel the use of free verse as opposed to rhyme has given your item extra strength because your expression has not been imprisoned by the rhyme. All elements are able to form and flow naturally because of this.
I feel your item could use a slight tightening within each verse by eliminating irrelevant words you do not really need. More like a fine tune. This is needed more in the 2nd and 3rd stanza than the rest of the content.
I liked the small rhyme at the end. It peaked your item perfectly.
My favorite line in your Poem is: Let's play along the mystic web.
This line provokes some great visuals.
There are no visible errors in your content and suggestions for improvement have been made.
This is a great Poem based on the beauty which nature provides us.
There is some very pretty imagery incorporated into your item such as: opaque blue, stagnant water, lightning...all of these images are natural elements and enhance the theme of your Poem further.
There are some visible errors in your Poem which I will point out to you as follows to make editing easier.
Line 6- 'visable' should read as 'visible'.
Line 8- 'mounains' needs to read as 'mountains'.
Line 10- 'pleasnant' should be 'pleasant'.
The last line of your Poem is very poetic and ends your item nicely. It is calm, tranquil and refreshing.
Well done and write on.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Helping Hearts seeking more members.
"Invalid Item"
A group devoted to helping new members of WDC.
"Invalid Item"
Hello aralls
I am here to give you a review for your donation into "Invalid Item"
I like the incorporation of the title meshed into the content. Especially the fact that you chose to display it on the last line of the Poem. It made your item feel like it had come full circle.
There is some great imagery and this is delivered to the reader with many descriptive words. The picture featured at the top of the item also enhances your descriptions, making it even more effortless to conjure a visual.
The pattern of the rhyme is balanced out nicely and gives the piece a slow and steady rhythm.
There are no visible errors in your item and I have no suggestions for improvement.
This is a Poem which clearly displays your deep religious and spiritual faith.
The rhyme is strong at the beginning but tends to slip half way through the item. You may want to place some further focus on that aspect.
Line 15- On this line you are missing the word 'to'. This needs to be inserted between 'it' and 'you' so the line forms correctly.
Your description declares this item is a Poem. From a display perspective this description is backed up so naturally I ask "Why is your item categorized as prose?". This is something which will need to be fixed when you have the time.
It was a pleasure to review your writing.
Well done and write on.
This is an interesting Acrostic and I commend you for tackling a difficult word as the main source.
It was lovely of you to honor a friend for their birthday by taking out the time to write them something special. I hope they appreciated your efforts.
Your Acrostic has been set out fairly well but I suggest either bolding the first letters of each line or changing the font color of these letters entirely so your main word stands out to the reader. Because it all ties in together, it will be extremely easy for another reviewer to miss the word entirely.
I did happen to notice one small typo on the 2nd line of your Poem. 'unbeleivably' should read as 'unbelievably'. *pwink*
Please keep in mind all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello SHERRI GIBSON
I am here to give you a 'Showering Acts Of Joy' review.
This is a warm and soft write which causes the reader to feel dreamy and whimsical as they indulge in the content.
The imagery is very pretty. Stars, moonbeams and clouds are all attractive images to conjure within the mind and they are all natural elements which leaves the reader with sensations of contentment and peace.
The emotional aspects of your Poem are fantastic. A feeling of love and elation are experienced whilst reading your item. The freedom within the item invokes the elation or more exhilaration. The love is spiked through the nurturing of the woman watching over all as she is one with the wind.
I feel this is an exceptional write.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
Well done and write on.
Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you a 'Showering Acts Of Joy' review.
It seems I have stumbled upon a port which has been created by someone who possess a very large amount of talent for writing. Lucky me!
Such a strong and extremely improtant message weaved through a small piece of Poetry.
Your careful word selections have made this possible.
You touch upon a subject which provokes just as many different opinions as politics but you have done so in a graceful way. You do squander the opinions or values others may hold in opposition to your own, nor do you manipulate others into holding the same belief system as you.
You elegantly state your own view and leave it up to the reader as to whether they agree with you or not and let me tell you, I agree with your views wholeheartedly.
I do have one small suggestion and this is not in reference to the content of your Poem but rather the display. The content is so important and delivered so humbly that I feel the font needs to match the integrity. A simple, arial font, would present your Poem more clearly to the reader as it is easier to view and this is a message that people should not miss.
All comments are offered in the spirit of helping you. Feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
*This is a must read for all members!*
Well done and write on.
Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you a 'Showering Acts Of Joy' review.
Boy, am I glad I decided to visit your port. If I had not, I would never have had the pleasure of reading such a well crafted dark and sinister story. I know I am slightly biased because your writing appeals to my acquired tastes perfectly but when something is good, it is good regardless of genre.
I loved this story from the beginning to the end. It kept my attention riveted to the screen as I read and everything else around me was shut out.
The malevolent emotions you invoke within the character are fantastic and I loved the build up to her most potent scorn. Sure, she had plenty of reason to feel this way but the fact she even considered acting upon it made her unhinged. It is one of those stories which forces the reader to ask "Does the punishment fit the crime" and no it does not but it makes perfect sense as to why she would consider it.
The imagery in the item is vivid and drew me into the item. The soft glow of candle light, combined with aromas of a freshly cooked meal and the silence only being disrupted by the soft tones of music in the background were all visible and delivered to the reader to use at will.
The information within the story was the highlight for me. Through her own thoughts, you show us just how many times she has been made to swallow various types of rejection and the breaking of promises in which she held dear. All from the same person! Her callousness is justified by her patience. Only a person with a phenomenal amount of patience, as she so clearly has, would have the ability to calculate something so perfectly planned.
There is one small section in your story where I feel a small tweak may be needed. I will point it out to you, but please keep in mind all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Line 15- 'viscously' should read as 'viciously'. The use of immaculate on this line should be removed as you have already made the reader aware of the quality of the table setting at the beginning of your story.
This small blemish detected in your story will not affect my rate. I feel the content is executed too brilliantly to allow something so minor to be an influence.
Well done. This will be going into my favorites.
Write on!
Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you a review for your generous donation into the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1534063 by Not Available.
I have no idea why this has been rated so low. I thought it was fantastic!
Admitedly, as a dark writer, the genre of your item appeals to me greatly but regardless of the genres in which we are individually passionate, credit must be given where it is due.
The darkness in the item is lingering and foreboding. The sinister aspects of the item seem to grow and become more potent as the reader moves through the content. Wave after wave comes crashing down upon the reviewer as they are drawn deeper into your item.
The rhyme is outstanding and does not skip a beat through the entire duration of your Poem. I feel the words you chose to rhyme were all in direct relation to the central theme. None of the words have been placed there merely to rhyme. It is clear you have put a lot of thought and effort into making your item a cut above the rest.
I am thrilled to see this has received an award as it deserves. Plus it saved me GP's because I would have pinned one to it immediately.
There are no visible errors in your content and suggestions for improvement are not required.
I will be putting this into my favorites.
Hello Just an Ordinary Boo!
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by GabriellaR45 for the 'Hemingway Package'. I am here to give you review number two.
This is a splendid item. Reading it silently to myself it flows great, has marvelous pace and there is a strong and consistent rhythm weaved through the content. I read it outloud to see if this made any difference and it did- It amazingly made it even better!
This is a fantastic explanation of your perspective on friendship. It was great reading it because so many people have different opinions and definitions on this subject. Reading this gave me a slight insight into you, as an individual.
I did happen to notice two small errors. This would usually influence my rate of the item but I feel the content is so fantastic that it should not be effected by a simple blemish.
These errors occured on:
Line 7- 'being' should read as 'being'. You need the plural because you are not referring to one but many.
Last line of the Poem- 'thats' should read as 'that's'.
From a display perspective your item looks great! The green text color enhances the natural elements in your item and short, crisp lines in each verse make your item appear tidy in presentation. In general I adored every section of this Poem and could not possible point out one individual area as preferred.
Well done and thank you for sharing.
Write on.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Looking for more members.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
Please show your support for Affected By Abuse by placing a bid here:
"Invalid Item"
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gothic_angel/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/12
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.40 seconds at 4:45am on Jul 09, 2025 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
