This is a beautiful Poem of inspiration. Your item shows the reader the process of overcoming grief to move onto something better. I love that you point out grief never really disppears completely but does become manageable over time and this allows you to move onto something healthier.
The font looks great in your item. It looks authentic and actually makes the soft and rich tones more gentle and elegant. The size is great because it is effortless to read and I did not find myself squinting once as I usually do when people choose to use this text for presentation.
I have a few small suggestions for your item and I will point them out as follows:
Line 4- Place a comma at the end of the line to create a pause.
Line 8- remove 'us' and allow the line to continue naturally.
Line 9- Insert 'surrounding' and remove 'around us'. This reads smoother and loses the repetition.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Well done. This is very inspirational and beautifully written.
This is a great Poem based on the beauty which nature provides us.
There is some very pretty imagery incorporated into your item such as: opaque blue, stagnant water, lightning...all of these images are natural elements and enhance the theme of your Poem further.
There are some visible errors in your Poem which I will point out to you as follows to make editing easier.
Line 6- 'visable' should read as 'visible'.
Line 8- 'mounains' needs to read as 'mountains'.
Line 10- 'pleasnant' should be 'pleasant'.
The last line of your Poem is very poetic and ends your item nicely. It is calm, tranquil and refreshing.
Well done and write on.
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Hello aralls
I am here to give you a review for your donation into "Invalid Item"
I like the incorporation of the title meshed into the content. Especially the fact that you chose to display it on the last line of the Poem. It made your item feel like it had come full circle.
There is some great imagery and this is delivered to the reader with many descriptive words. The picture featured at the top of the item also enhances your descriptions, making it even more effortless to conjure a visual.
The pattern of the rhyme is balanced out nicely and gives the piece a slow and steady rhythm.
There are no visible errors in your item and I have no suggestions for improvement.
This is a Poem which clearly displays your deep religious and spiritual faith.
The rhyme is strong at the beginning but tends to slip half way through the item. You may want to place some further focus on that aspect.
Line 15- On this line you are missing the word 'to'. This needs to be inserted between 'it' and 'you' so the line forms correctly.
Your description declares this item is a Poem. From a display perspective this description is backed up so naturally I ask "Why is your item categorized as prose?". This is something which will need to be fixed when you have the time.
It was a pleasure to review your writing.
Well done and write on.
This is an interesting Acrostic and I commend you for tackling a difficult word as the main source.
It was lovely of you to honor a friend for their birthday by taking out the time to write them something special. I hope they appreciated your efforts.
Your Acrostic has been set out fairly well but I suggest either bolding the first letters of each line or changing the font color of these letters entirely so your main word stands out to the reader. Because it all ties in together, it will be extremely easy for another reviewer to miss the word entirely.
I did happen to notice one small typo on the 2nd line of your Poem. 'unbeleivably' should read as 'unbelievably'. *pwink*
Please keep in mind all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello SHERRI GIBSON
I am here to give you a 'Showering Acts Of Joy' review.
This is a warm and soft write which causes the reader to feel dreamy and whimsical as they indulge in the content.
The imagery is very pretty. Stars, moonbeams and clouds are all attractive images to conjure within the mind and they are all natural elements which leaves the reader with sensations of contentment and peace.
The emotional aspects of your Poem are fantastic. A feeling of love and elation are experienced whilst reading your item. The freedom within the item invokes the elation or more exhilaration. The love is spiked through the nurturing of the woman watching over all as she is one with the wind.
I feel this is an exceptional write.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
Well done and write on.
Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you a 'Showering Acts Of Joy' review.
It seems I have stumbled upon a port which has been created by someone who possess a very large amount of talent for writing. Lucky me!
Such a strong and extremely improtant message weaved through a small piece of Poetry.
Your careful word selections have made this possible.
You touch upon a subject which provokes just as many different opinions as politics but you have done so in a graceful way. You do squander the opinions or values others may hold in opposition to your own, nor do you manipulate others into holding the same belief system as you.
You elegantly state your own view and leave it up to the reader as to whether they agree with you or not and let me tell you, I agree with your views wholeheartedly.
I do have one small suggestion and this is not in reference to the content of your Poem but rather the display. The content is so important and delivered so humbly that I feel the font needs to match the integrity. A simple, arial font, would present your Poem more clearly to the reader as it is easier to view and this is a message that people should not miss.
All comments are offered in the spirit of helping you. Feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
*This is a must read for all members!*
Well done and write on.
Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you a 'Showering Acts Of Joy' review.
Boy, am I glad I decided to visit your port. If I had not, I would never have had the pleasure of reading such a well crafted dark and sinister story. I know I am slightly biased because your writing appeals to my acquired tastes perfectly but when something is good, it is good regardless of genre.
I loved this story from the beginning to the end. It kept my attention riveted to the screen as I read and everything else around me was shut out.
The malevolent emotions you invoke within the character are fantastic and I loved the build up to her most potent scorn. Sure, she had plenty of reason to feel this way but the fact she even considered acting upon it made her unhinged. It is one of those stories which forces the reader to ask "Does the punishment fit the crime" and no it does not but it makes perfect sense as to why she would consider it.
The imagery in the item is vivid and drew me into the item. The soft glow of candle light, combined with aromas of a freshly cooked meal and the silence only being disrupted by the soft tones of music in the background were all visible and delivered to the reader to use at will.
The information within the story was the highlight for me. Through her own thoughts, you show us just how many times she has been made to swallow various types of rejection and the breaking of promises in which she held dear. All from the same person! Her callousness is justified by her patience. Only a person with a phenomenal amount of patience, as she so clearly has, would have the ability to calculate something so perfectly planned.
There is one small section in your story where I feel a small tweak may be needed. I will point it out to you, but please keep in mind all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Line 15- 'viscously' should read as 'viciously'. The use of immaculate on this line should be removed as you have already made the reader aware of the quality of the table setting at the beginning of your story.
This small blemish detected in your story will not affect my rate. I feel the content is executed too brilliantly to allow something so minor to be an influence.
Well done. This will be going into my favorites.
Write on!
Hello ~WhoMe???~
I am here to give you a review for your donation into the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1534063 by Not Available.
This is such a moving piece of Poetry. There is an abundance of positive emotions reflected within your item and they are positively warming. There is a show of love, chemisty, gratitude and all of these emotions are presented humbly. This is so romantic and I only wish I were capable of writing something soft and feminine like this!
The rhyme is brilliant. Not only does it serve its purpose to give your item some rhythm but it also seems to enhance the pureness of your Poem. I think this happens because of the pattern of the rhyme. Is this something you did intetionally or was it pot luck?
The pattern of the rhyme:
begin
in
resist
persist
I
cry
lost
tossed
too
you.
The entire rhyme is completely significant to the central content and has not been used specifically for rhyme. The rhyme alone, gives us a deeper glimpse into your item and also suffices as a timeline of where you began to the destination you reached. Fantastic!!!!
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
*This is phenomenal*
Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you a review for your generous donation into the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1534063 by Not Available.
I have no idea why this has been rated so low. I thought it was fantastic!
Admitedly, as a dark writer, the genre of your item appeals to me greatly but regardless of the genres in which we are individually passionate, credit must be given where it is due.
The darkness in the item is lingering and foreboding. The sinister aspects of the item seem to grow and become more potent as the reader moves through the content. Wave after wave comes crashing down upon the reviewer as they are drawn deeper into your item.
The rhyme is outstanding and does not skip a beat through the entire duration of your Poem. I feel the words you chose to rhyme were all in direct relation to the central theme. None of the words have been placed there merely to rhyme. It is clear you have put a lot of thought and effort into making your item a cut above the rest.
I am thrilled to see this has received an award as it deserves. Plus it saved me GP's because I would have pinned one to it immediately.
There are no visible errors in your content and suggestions for improvement are not required.
I will be putting this into my favorites.
Hello Just an Ordinary Boo!
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by GabriellaR45 for the 'Hemingway Package'. I am here to give you review number two.
This is a splendid item. Reading it silently to myself it flows great, has marvelous pace and there is a strong and consistent rhythm weaved through the content. I read it outloud to see if this made any difference and it did- It amazingly made it even better!
This is a fantastic explanation of your perspective on friendship. It was great reading it because so many people have different opinions and definitions on this subject. Reading this gave me a slight insight into you, as an individual.
I did happen to notice two small errors. This would usually influence my rate of the item but I feel the content is so fantastic that it should not be effected by a simple blemish.
These errors occured on:
Line 7- 'being' should read as 'being'. You need the plural because you are not referring to one but many.
Last line of the Poem- 'thats' should read as 'that's'.
From a display perspective your item looks great! The green text color enhances the natural elements in your item and short, crisp lines in each verse make your item appear tidy in presentation. In general I adored every section of this Poem and could not possible point out one individual area as preferred.
Well done and thank you for sharing.
Write on.
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Hello Just an Ordinary Boo!
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by GabriellaR45 for the 'Hemingway Package'. I am here to give you the first of three reviews you will receive from me as part of this package.
Your Poem has some of the best rhythm I have yet to see in any item I have reviewed. It does not flow to one consistent rhythm but many and they all converge wonderfully. The transition between the different paces occurs smoothly and is barely noticed.
Your message is delivered to the reader loud and clear. It is very easy to understand and I do not feel there is any room for misi-nterpretation. Very powerful and concise.
The finale was fantastic. The last two ending lines brought everything together and left me feeling satisfied at the end of the journey.
There are a few visible errors I did happen to notice. Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Line 2- There is a hitch in this line. It comes across as malformed but I think it just needs to be smoothed out.
Line 5- There are too many elipses. Three would suffice.
Line 15- A space needs to be inserted after the comma.
I feel some of the lines would be benefit if they were to end instead of being carried on with a comma, line after line, but this is merely an observation.
Lines 6- 9 are impeccable and my favorite section of your Poem.
It was a pleasure to review this item.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Hidden Writer
I am here to give you a Showering Acts Of Joy review.
The highlight for me in your item was the twist. The entire content built up perfectly, in a very misleading way, with the sole purpose of shocking your reader at the finale. I feel you did this extremely well.
I enjoyed the descriptions of anger and craze you give through out the item. The incorporation of questions was fantastic because it drew me further into your item when I began trying to answer those questions myself.
I did happen to notice one small typo and this occurs on line 9. 'aw' should read as 'awe'.
There are no further errors visible in your content and I have no suggestions for improvement.
Well done and write on.
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Hello SHERRI GIBSON
I am here to give you a 'Showering Acts Of Joy' review.
Bravo and well said, Sherri! In this item I think you have just openly expressed the thoughts of many here at WDC in regards to do with anonymous raters. I do not like this form of rating or reviewing and do not believe it should be allowed except in cases of Secret Pals and such.
I have experienced verbal bashings and the slaughter of my ratings on my items through the use of the anonymous system, many times. The funny thing is that the people who do this are so proud that they have managed to overcast your blue sky that they cannot help themselves and eventually flaunt their actions to someone else. Anonymous never stays as such, people on here talk and it is not long before the mystery person is revealed for who they really are.
I like that you point out that WDC is a community. A community where people who all share a passion for writing have merged and come together to help one another out. People like this do not deseve to be a part of such a wholesome community.
Well done Sherri and thank you for voicing what many of us have thought.
You're an inspiration.
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Hello StaiNed-
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. I am here to give you the last review you will receive as part of this package.
I hate when that happens! When you find something that's excellent and you want more than anything to award it but someone has beaten you to the punch! If this were not already recognized I guarantee you I would have smacked a black 25K awardicon onto it immediately.
This item is one which linger in my mind for some time to come. The thoughts of a book told from the books pespective. This is amazingly creative and in all honesty I wish I had of thought of it myself.
There is a very dreary and whimsical tone of narration in your item. It is sad and drab and encourages the reader to wonder what it must be like to be a book. So many people take pleasure from them but how would a book feel about this? You let us know in your item, cystal clear, that the lifespan of a book is not one to be admired, rather mourned. Its existence is long and drawn. The same routine day in and day out has caused regretful emotions to be expressed. Feeling of dis-enchantment and a yearning for an end to experience something new.
I think this item rocks as you do! I loved everything about it and there is nothing I would change.
This is going into my favorites.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Sticktalker
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by 🌕 HuntersMoon for the 'Poe Package'. I am here to give you the last review you will receive from me as part of this package.
I enjoyed reading this item. It was funny, quirky and witty. Reading your reactions when you were running into one problem after another was funny. I promise, I was laughing with you not at you.
Moments like these are so infuriating where the most menial of tasks are made difficult. I am still undecided as to whether I find knowing the difficulty stems from your own fault or the diffculty appears a mystery is worse. Either way it is annoying and brings those days where you just want to go back to bed and forget everything.
Your item is written well and I enjoyed it further by the fact that it was based on a writing exercise. That was a good way to secure attention considering it is up to receive reviews for fellow writers.
There are no visible errors in your item and no suggestions for improvement are required.
I like this as it is.
*A job well done*
Write on.
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Hello Sticktalker
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by 🌕 HuntersMoon for the 'Poe package'. I am here to give you review number four from five you will receive from me as part of your package.
I like this 'Dear Me' letter because it is simple. I have read many of these letters where you are supposed to be talking to yourself and people have written them as if they were making an acceptance speech at the Oscars. You make good on your purpose to deliver a dear me letter that actually looks just like that.
I like the encouragement you give to yourself during the item. Politely but firmly urging yourself to advance ahead in 2009. Let's hope you take your own advice and get that novel off to a publisher.
There are no visible errors in your item but I do have one small suggestion:
Line 6 you have written-The first one is a simple one.
This would read smoother if you were to lose the repetition of 'one' and allow the line to continue on naturally.
'The first one is simple' or 'The first is a simple one'.
This reads much smoother.
Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem as helpful and discard the rest at will.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Sticktalker
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by 🌕 HuntersMoon for the 'Poe Package'. I am here to give you review number three from five you will receive from me as part of this package.
It is a shame this short story was not judged. It would have given the other contestants a run for their money because it is very good. Nothing wrong with a little healthy competition is there? It makes things more interesting.
I like the story line and although you were forced to limit your content to 55 words, I feel the story works well this way because it encourages a fast momentum. This meshes in nicely with the central theme of how quickly men are able to move on from romance to romance with an assortment of different people.
The last line is fantastic because it shifts the perspective of the reader. It is one thing to grieve for a month after you lose a loved one and return to work but it is something entirely different to be making eyes at another woman in such a short time. You peaked it perfectly and at just the right time.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
This was a great read!
Well done and write on.
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Hello Sticktalker
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by 🌕 HuntersMoon for the 'Poe Package'. I am here to give you review number two from five you will receive from me as part of this package.
The beginning of your story begins with the same sing-song feel as Jack and Jill. There is a lot happening in your story but I feel this is somewhat lost in the format you have chosen/ or been prompted to use. The rhyme you have incorprated into the item is all direct but I feel the pattern does not enhance the content. You rhyme the 1st and last line of each verse but there is a large amount of content in the space between. The end rhyme is lost by the distraction of the time it takes to reach it.
I think your general story line is interesting and elaborate but would be put to better use as either a traditional styled piece of Poetry or displayed and delievered to the reader as a short story. The two do not seem to mix very well in this item. One or the other would be more efficent for this particular piece.
Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Sticktalker
Congratulations on your nomination into the Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by 🌕 HuntersMoon. I am here to give you the first of five reviews you will receive from me as part of your package.
This is an interesting 55 word story. You place the reader directly into the core of your story right from the onset. This is a great thing to do in 55 word stories because you need to make good use of the limited space you have.
The first two lines are good. You give an in-depth explanation to the reader of the state the world is in it at this time. The details allow the reader to see that things are in pretty bad shape. Poverty has set in and lack of prinicpals, manners and morals have taken a hold of the youth. This sounds pretty accurate to our present reality.
Although the first two lines are detailed, the overuse of periods create too many pauses. It reads like a learner driver. Smooth driving, slam on brakes, smooth driving, slam on brakes....repeat.
Your item would benefit greatly if you were to remove some of these periods and replace them with simple commas so the flow of the story does not receive too much interruption.
Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Daizy May
I am here to give you review number three of ten gifted to you by the lovely simply_complex
The title of your Poem is- I lost my mind. Usually with an item like this, one would find something dark and sinister presented to them for their viewing but your item is different. The title is very misleading but you give the viewer a very refreshing surprise when we come to see your item is infact comical.
The rhyme scheme you have used in this item is different to what I have reviewed of your Poetry so far. You have chosen to rhyme every 2nd and 4th line in this item and I feel that this is a nice balance for this particular Poem.
I like that your title led me to believe this was going to be malevolent in nature when in actual fact I would describe this as inspirational. Losing ones mind where they do not cross over into a point of dementia but instead are able to spare their minds from anything which is negative is a great thing. It is not something I would deem as losing your mind, perhaps something more of a blessing would be a better phrase for me to use.
After reading over your item a few times before writing this review it keeps jumping out to me that your Poem would be improved if you were to add one more stanza in between the third and fourth stanza. This section feels like there is something missing because the item ended too abruptly.
Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Daizy May
I am here to give you review number two of ten which were gifted to you by the lovely simply_complex
This item is hilarious. Your imagination is running rampant in this Poem!
Your item is made up of 6 rhyming couplets. All of the rhyme is again direct as in your previous item. It all mingles extremely well and does not feel forced at any point. It is all smooth sailing
I love all the different examples you give to the reader to explain why it is bad to stand beneath a wire.
The part about being careful not to get your hair singed off made me laugh. That was great!
My favorite couplet in this item is:
If on the wire were sitting all different breeds of birds,
You might end up covered in, well, you rhyme the right words.
I enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek humor in this line. It is cheeky and the reader will infact rhyme the right words.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
This was a pleasant read. Thanks for the many laughs.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Daizy May
I am here to give you the first of ten reviews you will receive from me which were gifted to you by the lovely simply_complex
Wow...I cannot even imagine how embarassing that must have been for you. Actually, my mind will not even allow me to even go there to considerate it.
If that is not the number 1 all time birthday horror event then I do not know what is!
The rhyme in your item is splendid. It is all direct, fits perfectly and at no point does it feel forced in any way. I like that you have incorporated it into this item instead of opting for free verse because I think the rhyme helps to enforce the comical aspects of within item.
You do a great job of building up anticipation within the item. Right from the very beginning we are aware that something is about to happen and it is going to be at your expense but you do not divulge this incident until the very end. You kept my attention completely hooked to your item and it was well worth it. However, I do assure you, I was laughing with you not at you.
There is one small area which I will point out to you for editing consideration.
Third line of the second stanza- 'Relating' would flow smoother if you were to consider changing it to 'relaying'.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Well done and write on.
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Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you the last review you will receive as part of your cNote package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by an anonymous member.
This is an item which can be opened up to receive some marvelous imagery. Warm and vivid colors splashed through the content, mingled with aromas of the night atmosphere and sounds of the great outdoors. You have incorporated 'some' imagery into this item but I feel there is much room to tackle it further and really bring it to life.
The text font you have used to display this piece of prose is great because it is large, easy to read and free from distraction because it is plain and written in a standard color text.
The final line was great and ended the item nicely. It was humble, generous and fit the relaxed theme nicely.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
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Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you review number two of three you will receive from me as part of your cNote package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This was purchased and gifted to you by an anonymous member.
This Poem is absolutely sensational. It is sultry, sexy and highly sensual and you have expressed all of these sensations in a tasteful manner. The Rictometer format was definitely the right choice of format to use to display this item.
I loved the whole give and take theme within the item. She is giving and he is taking and then this reverses so both people are equally sharing their desires for the other. It is insatiable and highly charged!
There are no visible errors in this item and nothing at all needs to be altered. It is perfect as it is.
Well done and write on.
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