Hello 🌖 HuntersMoon
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Poe package'. I am here to give you the first of five reviews you will receive as part of this package.
First thing is first, as a dark writer myself, I was totally and helplessly drawn to this item. *bigmile*
Your Poem is of A class quality and I cannot think of anyone who would not like this is as much as I do.
The rhyme is outstanding and consistent through out the entire duration of your item. At no point did it feel forced or merely used to keep the pattern united. The twists and turns of the rhyme were like walking up and down stairs, up and down, up and down...This was amazing!
Your content is deliciously dark and creative, and I found this very appealing. The item was not what I would consider dark 'horror' but more of a bleak nature. The dark images you conjured within the item were ejected onto the viewer with ease and I could not help but to be completely enthralled.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement are not required.
The quality of your item speaks for itself.
This is a great item. You were given a theme (ten for ten) and you have ultimately delivered what required of you, to participate in this contest.
Each individual line clearly sticks to the main theme of that section. You provide good descriptions for each prompt and the reader is given something to concentrate on and enjoy.
Tip- The end of the first line requires a question mark (?) because you are asking a question.
Again there is no punctuation in your item but I feel the content still pulls this over the finish line. However I do feel the need to offer you some friendly adivce and this is to punctuate your items when entering a contest. Although you may prefer to be a free form Poet, judges are always looking for A class quality items to take the winning places. Incorporating it specifically for this purpose will increase your chances of a winning place.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
You were nominated by ShiShad for the EBB Love package. I am here to review you as part of this package.
This is a very dreamy Poem which has been made attractive by the incorporation of pretty imagery and wordplay. Minus the lack of correct punctuation, I enjoyed all areas of this Poem. It is strong in visualization, consistent in theme and you send a crystal clear message to your reader.
I will quickly go through a line by line with you of areas I feel require editing to strengthen the piece.
Line 3- Insert a comma after the final word.
Line 4- Remove the (...) and replace it with a period.
Line 5- Remove the comma at the end of the line.
Line 6- Insert a comma at the end of the line.
Line 8- Add a period to the end of the line.
Line 9- Add a comma at the end of the line.
Line 10- Comma at the end of this line.
Line 14- Add a comma at the end of the line.
Line 15- Insert a space after the comma which is already featured.
Line 16- Add a period to the end of the line.
Line 18- Remove (...) an replace it with a comma.
Line 21- Same suggestion as above.
Line 23- Add a period to the end of this line.
Line 25- Add a period to the end of the line.
Line 26- Capitalize the beginning letter of the first word.
Line 30- Remove (...) and replace with a comma.
I hope you find my review helpful.
Best of luck and write on.
Hello Richard Briley Jr
I am stopping by to give you a review today.
This is a very interesting Poem which encourages your reviewers to adjust their mature perspectives to an outlook which is light and fun. You force the seriousness out to replace it with a playful mood. This was a breath of fresh air to read and I love that the content is so fresh and unlike anything I have ever read before.
You have incorporated a good amount of imagery into your Poem as you lead us through each different scene. The rhyme in your item begins strong but as I delved deeper into the item, the quality of the rhyme begins to slip as the pattern is lost. The first stanza consists of the rhyme being visible in the 2nd and 4th line. Continue on to stanza 2 and there is no rhyme at all. 'attorney' and 'true' do not rhyme. Third stanza comes about and the rhyme is found on lines 1,2 and 4. This is distracting and confusing and requires editing.
My only suggestion for this item is to focus on the pattern and quality of your rhyme. I feel above all, this aspect of your item is important because it is the rhyme which invokes the fun and playful quality of your item. Once the pattern has been adjusted and the rhyme is infused with some strength, this item will soar.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
Hello sweetgum4
I am stopping by to give you a review.
You are displaying a talent for rhyme in this Poem which is centered on Mental Illness. Your rhyme is all direct and consistent and does not falter once through the entire duration of the item.
I like the display of the Poem. You have chosen to present this item by using a normal standard font and text and the spacing makes it even easier for the viewer to read and understand your item.
There is a show of some punctuation issues in this piece. The beginning stanza has been punctuated correctly but as the item continues on, this quality seems to lessen and many areas are skipped, some in their entirety. My only suggestion is to divert some extra attention and focus onto this aspect of your Poem.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
Hello GabriellaR45
I am here to give you the first of three reviews you will receive from me as part of your cNote package at:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by MDuci
I love this item! The imagery incorporated into your Poem is vivid and guides the reader comfortably through the item. You bring the outdoors to life in this Poem and hand these colorful images to the reader for their entertainment.
Being Australian, I very easily forget that February is Winter in other destinations. February is heatwave season for Australia and the cool and invigorating images you gave to me through your item were welcomed and much needed at this time. I almost cooled off!
Outstanding, descriptive wordplay only serves to enhance the beautiful winter portrait you have created. This is a must read for all reviewers and should be used as a template for beginners when in need of imagery guidance.
There are no visible errors in your item and no suggestions for improvement are required.
Well done and write on.
Oh, I almost forgot- Your item is still displaying the Preferred Authors signature. Time to switch from yellow to blue, you have upgraded baby doll!
Hello kiyasama
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is my last review for your package.
Your Poem features some of the most impressive wordplay I have seen used in this genre.
There are soft, feminine tones in your item and they reach out to draw the reader into the depths of its warm glow. You use great examples to express your message of what this person means to you and how they make you feel. I enjoyed reading this. It is a job well done!
There are no visible errors. Congrats on the publication!
It was a pleasure to review you.
Hello kiyasama
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This review number four.
Your Poem is centered on an act which is forbidden and unforgivable. The content is sad to read and this sadness is enhanced when one realizes that what you have written is true. Society does infact decree it.
The pain, turmoil and anguish weaved through this Poem is heartbreaking. The most precious bond of all has been severed in this Poem-Trust.
This is an emotional write centered on a dark subject, but you have written it with elegance.
Hello kiyasama
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is review number three.
This is a lovely tribute for a wonderful person. The notion to write something so kind displays the sincerity of your friendship and just how much Katherine means to you. Your entire Poem radiates friendship, love, gratitude and above all respect and a profound connection. I think it is beautiful and I am sure Katherine would have been thrilled to read it.
I loved the description you incorporated at the end, defining to others what Golden Wattle is. I am Australian so I already knew but the moment I began reading and came to the first mention of Wattle, I did wonder just how many others would have heard of it.
Hello kiyasama
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is review number two.
This is a small Poem but it is full of meaning. Good, strong word selections have given your Poem a high quality which is impressive. You follow the format perfectly and I think it's great that you have included a link to show the mechanics of how this form works, for people who do not know it. It increases your audience in which can receive it and educates people who are new to the world of Poetry
There are no visible errors and no need for suggestions for improvement.
Well done!
Hello kiyasama
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is the first of five reviews you will receive from me.
I like the story within the Poem. Your Poem told a tale, had a moral and if it were not for the rhyme this would have easily been mistaken for a short or flash.
I love the couplet format. I find when using it, that it is easier to find the correct rhyme to put in place. From a reviewing point of view I like this format because it makes the item easier to read and the neatness of the couplets looks great in the presentation.
The ending was the highlight for me. I liked that your Poem began and ended using the same couplet. It felt as though the item came full circle and I thought it was a perfect finale.
There are no visible errors in your item and I have no suggestion for improvement.
Well done and write on.
Hello Adriana Noir
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by kiyasama for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is review number four.
This is a fabulous depiction of a woman trapped in a car wreck. You give the reader so much information to indulge in that it left my head spinning. You make the reader aware of what is happening around the main character but you do not stop there. You go that extra mile to allow us into her thoughts. We see everything through her eyes but from two different perspectives. One, inside the car when she is trapped and the second when her spirit comes to watch over her rescuers attempts to save her life.
The incoproration of small details is the key to any successful story. You were very thorough and did not leave anything at all out. Your ability to delve deep into the heart of your stories is mesmerising to witness. I am in complete awe at your talent.
Well done. I am pleased to see this has been awarded.
Write on.
Hello GabriellaR45
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is review number two of five you will receive from me.
This is a vivid picture of isolation and abandonment. The silence in the Poem is deafening.
Yur descriptions are vivid and I was effortlessly able to see the papers scattered in the driveway, the car keys on the ground, etc etc...You have provided the reader with very clear images of where you have taken us when we enter into the world of your Poem.
The end was something I did not predict. You present us with a meek source of life in an atmosphere we were led to believe was devoid. It was a fantastic twist and it presented the reader with an entirely different take on your Poem.
Hello Michael
Congratulations on receiving a nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by ShellySunshine for the 'Hemingway Package'. I am here to give you the last review from your package.
Another fantastic Poem. An array of descriptive words are being used to their full advantage to forge a connection between the reader and the item. There is a graceful presence felt in this Poem. A soft and subtle voice of narration has been used. It is a moving Poem.
You have peaked your final stanza excellently. It was a great way to end this Poem.
Absolutely stunning.
There are no visible errors and no suggestions for improvement are needed.
Hello Jewel Busy Busy Busy!
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by warriormom to receive 'The Adopt A Newbie' package. I am here to give you the last review you will receive from me as part of your package.
The level of your imagination is rampant in this short story. So much is shown to the reader through the memories of the birthday girl and this is amazing because your story is so short in length.
It did not go unnoticed that your main character went through the story without a description 'but' the concentration you put into the story to re-tell a horrible memory of her past built up a strong enough emotional connection ,that the lack of identity did not hurt the story and was forgivable. The viewer was able to connect with her emotionally.
The significance of the red wagon was a nice twist in the story and came at just the right time. The beginning of the story was depressing. To be forced to bear the burden of feeling responsible for her father's absence was heartbreaking to see. This depressing tone gains strength as you continue on to explain her loneliness on her birthday. The one day when no one should be alone because celebrations should be taking place. This fused further strength into the 'darkness' of your item. Then you shift the content to the appearance of the red wagon and you show us the happy memories this conjures. You end your item on an upbeat note and this was great!
This is a fantastic story and one you should be proud to say you created.
Well done and write on.
Hello Jewel Busy Busy Busy!
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated to receive 'The Adopt A Newbie Package' by the lovely warriormom. I am here to give you 2 reviews as part of your package.
The title of your short story is 'Not Like It Used To Be'. After reading your story it is very clear that your title is fitting for this item. It is based on an old man who is noticing negative changes within a modern world. I think you told the story through the old man's eyes very well.
Certain changes you brought to the attention of the viewer through the amns perspective were believeable because they are true. Times HAVE changed and things the old man were noticing are things a man of his era would focus upon. Common courtesy has now become a myth, respect from the youth is now as rare as 0. negative blood and days of safety have now become legends to tell our own children. You depict all of this clearly and in doing so you have created a strong connection between the reader and your item.
There are many errors in your story. Most of these are punctuation imperfections. Misplaced commas, question marks and there seems to be some minor problems with your praragraphing. I am sure if you take the time to look over your story once more they will leap out at you. If you require for me to specifically point them out to you please feel free to ask and I will shoot you an email.
It was the smaller details within your story which made this extra special. The limp of the old man, the visualization of his calloused hand and conjured memories depicting better times. It is easy for the reader to see that you have dedicated yourself to this story. It is through the little, special touches that we are shown your craftsmanship as a writer. This was a fabulous effort on your part.
Hello SWPoet
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Authors Fan Club. I am here to give you your last review from the Sylvia Plath package. You were nominated by a secret fan.
This is an excellent depiction of winter. I am in complete agreement and do not see winter as an ending but a beginning. Winter happens to be my favorite season. It allows people to become closer, more affectionate, admitedly most of this is due to the tempertaure of the climate and is used in an attempt to get warm. But it brings an intimacy. Curling up with your respective partner in an attempt to get warm, staring into the flames of the fireplace whilst you soak up its warmth. I find all of these things cosy and consider winter to be far from anything negative.
I enjoyed reading your take on winter. It was refreshing and exactly what I needed while I am sweltering in the heat of an Australian summer.
Well done and write on.
It was a pleasure to review you.
Hello SWPoet
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. I am here to review you as part of the Sylvia Plath package you received. You were nominated by a secret admirer.
This is a fantastic Poem! It indiscretly shows us the influence matters of the world have upon our choices in how we choose to express ourselves. Expression can come in many different forms and is spawned by numerous reasons, whether it be to enforce the opinion of someone who has no problems in speaking it aloud or a timid person using it as a tool to express thoughts they do not have the courage to ordinarily say. Poetry in general is about freedom. You are choosing to focus your creativity upon subjects which are inspiring and positive in general. In vowing to do this you have become an inspiration in your own right by piercing an overcast world with a ray of light.
The punctuation in this Poem is off balance and in need of adjusting. However, this is just a technicality and I will not allow it to effect my rating on your Poem. Your Poem is 5 star quality!
Hello SWPoet
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Authors Fan Club. I am here to review you as part of your Sylvia Plath package. You were nominated by-Not telling.
This is a lovely tribute of acceptance and a willingness to openly embrace people for who they are.
It is people with a considerate view like yours who make the world a brighter place for others.
The note included at the bottom of the page is just as inspiring as the actual Poem. Your generosity is stamped upon this item for all to see.
There are no visible errors in the content but I do have one small suggestion.
I would consider taking another quick look at your punctuation in this Poem. It is a little shaky and requires some editing.
Well done and write on.
A stunning write and a must read for all reviewers.
Hello SWPoet
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. I am here to give you the reviews you will receive as part of your Sylvia Plath package. You were nominated by-Not telling.
This is an interesting Poem and one I believe is left wide open for the readers own interpretation. There is an irony in the content and I am unsure if this was the intention or if it has been born from sarcasm. You will have to let me know on this one.
There is a strength in your item. Considering its small size I feel you have done a marvelous job in ensuring it is still quite gripping. The item is direct and gets straight to the point. I like that you have not attempted to lead the reader through a long maze of Poetic expression which eventually leads to a road of nowhere. Your Poem has a message and a purpose and both are clearly shown to the reader.
Your Poem is thought provoking.
There are no visible errors and I have no suggestions for improvement.
It was a pleasure. Write on.
Hello SWPoet
Congratulations on receiving a nomination into The Ink Blot Authors Fan Club. You are set to receive five reviews from me as part of your Sylvia Plath package. You were nominated by--Not telling.
Your Poem is fabulous. It is so romantic and concentrates on the dedication of ones self to another.
The phenomenal support shown by the generous person is fantastic to watch unfold. Their determination is extreme and they will not be detered from their intention. A true source of inspiration. You further elaborate by giving us examples of things this person will not be swayed by. This elaboration creates and sustains a powerful connection between the viewer and the item.
I especially enjoyed the ending. The way you have displayed the finale enforces the central theme and brings this treasure right over the finish line. I adored it.
There are no visible errors in your content and no need for suggestions for improvement. It is perfect the way it is.
Hello ShellySunshine
I am stopping by to fulfill some reviews gifted to you by Jewel Busy Busy Busy!. All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to use what you deem is helpful and discard the rest.
It was very easy for the reader to feel your sense of urgency and panic at not being able to figure out how to help. You express your intentions to defuse the situation but are coming up empty handed with solutions as to how, because you are overwhelmed. This all comes through clear.
However, I feel if you were to place further emphasis upon the dominant characters actions and behavior, the reader may be able to relate and emphathise with you futher. Information is not divulged to the reader as to how the situation was triggered. The angered character is given no description and although you are telling us he is insanely angry we are not shown this through use of simple imagery.
I feel if you were to focus upon this area and give the character some identity and 'show' us his anger rather than telling us, this will sufficently build up the required adrenalin which should be piqued in an item of this nature. Make your reader fear the situation as you so obviously do.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1514815 by Not Available.
Hello ShellySunshine
I am stopping by to fulfill the reviews gifted to you by Jewel Busy Busy Busy!. All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to use what you deem is helpful and discard the rest.
Your Poem is made up of only one solitary stanza and yet not only have you managed to deliver a message to your reader you have also managed to invoke a series of different emotions. I am in awe.
I can relate to your Poem extremely well because I have experienced these same thoughts and feelings.
A careful selection of words have fused your Poem with quality of the upmost. This is a write to be proud of and I am glad to see it has been awarded and given the recognition it deserves.
There are no visible errors and no areas which require improvement.
Well done and write on.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1514815 by Not Available.
Hello ShellySunshine
I am stopping by to fulfill your gifted reviews from Jewel Busy Busy Busy!. All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to use what you deem is helpful and discard the rest.
This Poem is romantic and is expressed in a dreamy tone. The main character is trapped in a serene state of fantasy they do not wish to surrender. This becomes potent during the Poem as it is unfolds and is elaborated upon further.
Your Poem is short in length but it still delivers the message you are expressing. Good word selections with some slight imagery have ensured this.
Again, I would suggest sprinkling this with some punctuation. At the very least it will add some strength to the pace of each stanza.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1514815 by Not Available.
Hello ShellySunshine
I am stopping by to give you five reviews today gifted to you by Jewel Busy Busy Busy!. All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to use what you deem is helpful and discard the rest.
I can completely relate to where you are coming from in this item. When my children are misbehaving, especially my twins, I silently think 'Far out I can't wait until you are older so all this stops'. The thought dissipates as quickly as it was conjured because although it is frustrating I cherish these monents with my babies. It is obvious you feel the same way.
Our children will always be our babies, regardless of their age, and the older they become and the more detached as they discover there are other things in the world besides mom, the more we realize the significance of just how improtant they are to us.
Pause the world is a clear display of this. Not wanting to let go and allow nature to take its course. A yearning for these simple but cherished moments to remain unchanged and intact. You express this crystal clear in your Poem and leave no room for mis-interpretation.
Tip- You may want to consider sprinkling this with some punctuation to strengthen the flow.
It becomes the highlight of my day when I am able to find an item I can relate to in its entirety.
Thank you and well done Michelle.
Write on.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1514815 by Not Available.
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