Hello Just an Ordinary Boo!
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by GabriellaR45 for the 'Hemingway Package'. I am here to give you review number two.
This is a splendid item. Reading it silently to myself it flows great, has marvelous pace and there is a strong and consistent rhythm weaved through the content. I read it outloud to see if this made any difference and it did- It amazingly made it even better!
This is a fantastic explanation of your perspective on friendship. It was great reading it because so many people have different opinions and definitions on this subject. Reading this gave me a slight insight into you, as an individual.
I did happen to notice two small errors. This would usually influence my rate of the item but I feel the content is so fantastic that it should not be effected by a simple blemish.
These errors occured on:
Line 7- 'being' should read as 'being'. You need the plural because you are not referring to one but many.
Last line of the Poem- 'thats' should read as 'that's'.
From a display perspective your item looks great! The green text color enhances the natural elements in your item and short, crisp lines in each verse make your item appear tidy in presentation. In general I adored every section of this Poem and could not possible point out one individual area as preferred.
Well done and thank you for sharing.
Write on.
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Hello Just an Ordinary Boo!
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by GabriellaR45 for the 'Hemingway Package'. I am here to give you the first of three reviews you will receive from me as part of this package.
Your Poem has some of the best rhythm I have yet to see in any item I have reviewed. It does not flow to one consistent rhythm but many and they all converge wonderfully. The transition between the different paces occurs smoothly and is barely noticed.
Your message is delivered to the reader loud and clear. It is very easy to understand and I do not feel there is any room for misi-nterpretation. Very powerful and concise.
The finale was fantastic. The last two ending lines brought everything together and left me feeling satisfied at the end of the journey.
There are a few visible errors I did happen to notice. Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Line 2- There is a hitch in this line. It comes across as malformed but I think it just needs to be smoothed out.
Line 5- There are too many elipses. Three would suffice.
Line 15- A space needs to be inserted after the comma.
I feel some of the lines would be benefit if they were to end instead of being carried on with a comma, line after line, but this is merely an observation.
Lines 6- 9 are impeccable and my favorite section of your Poem.
It was a pleasure to review this item.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Hidden Writer
I am here to give you a Showering Acts Of Joy review.
The highlight for me in your item was the twist. The entire content built up perfectly, in a very misleading way, with the sole purpose of shocking your reader at the finale. I feel you did this extremely well.
I enjoyed the descriptions of anger and craze you give through out the item. The incorporation of questions was fantastic because it drew me further into your item when I began trying to answer those questions myself.
I did happen to notice one small typo and this occurs on line 9. 'aw' should read as 'awe'.
There are no further errors visible in your content and I have no suggestions for improvement.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Kim Ashby
I am here to give you a 'Showering Acts Of Joy' review.
This is a story which is sad, moving and inspirational all at the same time. There are a lot of conflicting emotions weaved through your item but they all mesh together perfectly.
I know all too well what it feels like to be the product of someone who only thinks of themselves and who does not realize they do not want to be a parent until after they have become one. I was able to relate and connect with this story on every level.
It was moving to see the devotion being held for this woman by her daughter. I did the exact same thing but I always knew my mother for what she was I just did not want to accept it even after countless examples of her lack of love or maternal instincts. The daughter in this item however, does not give up hope. Instead she dares to hope that the person she wishes her mother to be will finally emerge. It is as if she believes there is a wonderful person manifested within her somewhere and waits patiently for her to be drawn out.
I found inspiration in your story when I reached the section which addresses the horrible things which were said because they were not believed. Many children experience this form of brainwashing and degregation of self-worth and many of them never overcome the scars. The child in this item did conquer this vicious cycle when she came to realize that people will make up their own minds.
This is a stunning write and one which spikes many emotions within me and stirs many memories.
You have composed it splendidly. There are no errors and no need for suggestions for improvement.
Well done and write on.
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Hello SHERRI GIBSON
I am here to give you a 'Showering Acts Of Joy' review.
Bravo and well said, Sherri! In this item I think you have just openly expressed the thoughts of many here at WDC in regards to do with anonymous raters. I do not like this form of rating or reviewing and do not believe it should be allowed except in cases of Secret Pals and such.
I have experienced verbal bashings and the slaughter of my ratings on my items through the use of the anonymous system, many times. The funny thing is that the people who do this are so proud that they have managed to overcast your blue sky that they cannot help themselves and eventually flaunt their actions to someone else. Anonymous never stays as such, people on here talk and it is not long before the mystery person is revealed for who they really are.
I like that you point out that WDC is a community. A community where people who all share a passion for writing have merged and come together to help one another out. People like this do not deseve to be a part of such a wholesome community.
Well done Sherri and thank you for voicing what many of us have thought.
You're an inspiration.
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Hello staiNed
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. I am here to give you the last review you will receive as part of this package.
I hate when that happens! When you find something that's excellent and you want more than anything to award it but someone has beaten you to the punch! If this were not already recognized I guarantee you I would have smacked a black 25K awardicon onto it immediately.
This item is one which linger in my mind for some time to come. The thoughts of a book told from the books pespective. This is amazingly creative and in all honesty I wish I had of thought of it myself.
There is a very dreary and whimsical tone of narration in your item. It is sad and drab and encourages the reader to wonder what it must be like to be a book. So many people take pleasure from them but how would a book feel about this? You let us know in your item, cystal clear, that the lifespan of a book is not one to be admired, rather mourned. Its existence is long and drawn. The same routine day in and day out has caused regretful emotions to be expressed. Feeling of dis-enchantment and a yearning for an end to experience something new.
I think this item rocks as you do! I loved everything about it and there is nothing I would change.
This is going into my favorites.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Sticktalker
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by 🌖 HuntersMoon for the 'Poe Package'. I am here to give you the last review you will receive from me as part of this package.
I enjoyed reading this item. It was funny, quirky and witty. Reading your reactions when you were running into one problem after another was funny. I promise, I was laughing with you not at you.
Moments like these are so infuriating where the most menial of tasks are made difficult. I am still undecided as to whether I find knowing the difficulty stems from your own fault or the diffculty appears a mystery is worse. Either way it is annoying and brings those days where you just want to go back to bed and forget everything.
Your item is written well and I enjoyed it further by the fact that it was based on a writing exercise. That was a good way to secure attention considering it is up to receive reviews for fellow writers.
There are no visible errors in your item and no suggestions for improvement are required.
I like this as it is.
*A job well done*
Write on.
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Hello Sticktalker
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by 🌖 HuntersMoon for the 'Poe package'. I am here to give you review number four from five you will receive from me as part of your package.
I like this 'Dear Me' letter because it is simple. I have read many of these letters where you are supposed to be talking to yourself and people have written them as if they were making an acceptance speech at the Oscars. You make good on your purpose to deliver a dear me letter that actually looks just like that.
I like the encouragement you give to yourself during the item. Politely but firmly urging yourself to advance ahead in 2009. Let's hope you take your own advice and get that novel off to a publisher.
There are no visible errors in your item but I do have one small suggestion:
Line 6 you have written-The first one is a simple one.
This would read smoother if you were to lose the repetition of 'one' and allow the line to continue on naturally.
'The first one is simple' or 'The first is a simple one'.
This reads much smoother.
Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem as helpful and discard the rest at will.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Sticktalker
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by 🌖 HuntersMoon for the 'Poe Package'. I am here to give you review number three from five you will receive from me as part of this package.
It is a shame this short story was not judged. It would have given the other contestants a run for their money because it is very good. Nothing wrong with a little healthy competition is there? It makes things more interesting.
I like the story line and although you were forced to limit your content to 55 words, I feel the story works well this way because it encourages a fast momentum. This meshes in nicely with the central theme of how quickly men are able to move on from romance to romance with an assortment of different people.
The last line is fantastic because it shifts the perspective of the reader. It is one thing to grieve for a month after you lose a loved one and return to work but it is something entirely different to be making eyes at another woman in such a short time. You peaked it perfectly and at just the right time.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
This was a great read!
Well done and write on.
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Hello Sticktalker
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by 🌖 HuntersMoon for the 'Poe Package'. I am here to give you review number two from five you will receive from me as part of this package.
The beginning of your story begins with the same sing-song feel as Jack and Jill. There is a lot happening in your story but I feel this is somewhat lost in the format you have chosen/ or been prompted to use. The rhyme you have incorprated into the item is all direct but I feel the pattern does not enhance the content. You rhyme the 1st and last line of each verse but there is a large amount of content in the space between. The end rhyme is lost by the distraction of the time it takes to reach it.
I think your general story line is interesting and elaborate but would be put to better use as either a traditional styled piece of Poetry or displayed and delievered to the reader as a short story. The two do not seem to mix very well in this item. One or the other would be more efficent for this particular piece.
Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Sticktalker
Congratulations on your nomination into the Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by 🌖 HuntersMoon. I am here to give you the first of five reviews you will receive from me as part of your package.
This is an interesting 55 word story. You place the reader directly into the core of your story right from the onset. This is a great thing to do in 55 word stories because you need to make good use of the limited space you have.
The first two lines are good. You give an in-depth explanation to the reader of the state the world is in it at this time. The details allow the reader to see that things are in pretty bad shape. Poverty has set in and lack of prinicpals, manners and morals have taken a hold of the youth. This sounds pretty accurate to our present reality.
Although the first two lines are detailed, the overuse of periods create too many pauses. It reads like a learner driver. Smooth driving, slam on brakes, smooth driving, slam on brakes....repeat.
Your item would benefit greatly if you were to remove some of these periods and replace them with simple commas so the flow of the story does not receive too much interruption.
Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Daizy May
I am here to give you review number three of ten gifted to you by the lovely simply_complex
The title of your Poem is- I lost my mind. Usually with an item like this, one would find something dark and sinister presented to them for their viewing but your item is different. The title is very misleading but you give the viewer a very refreshing surprise when we come to see your item is infact comical.
The rhyme scheme you have used in this item is different to what I have reviewed of your Poetry so far. You have chosen to rhyme every 2nd and 4th line in this item and I feel that this is a nice balance for this particular Poem.
I like that your title led me to believe this was going to be malevolent in nature when in actual fact I would describe this as inspirational. Losing ones mind where they do not cross over into a point of dementia but instead are able to spare their minds from anything which is negative is a great thing. It is not something I would deem as losing your mind, perhaps something more of a blessing would be a better phrase for me to use.
After reading over your item a few times before writing this review it keeps jumping out to me that your Poem would be improved if you were to add one more stanza in between the third and fourth stanza. This section feels like there is something missing because the item ended too abruptly.
Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Daizy May
I am here to give you review number two of ten which were gifted to you by the lovely simply_complex
This item is hilarious. Your imagination is running rampant in this Poem!
Your item is made up of 6 rhyming couplets. All of the rhyme is again direct as in your previous item. It all mingles extremely well and does not feel forced at any point. It is all smooth sailing
I love all the different examples you give to the reader to explain why it is bad to stand beneath a wire.
The part about being careful not to get your hair singed off made me laugh. That was great!
My favorite couplet in this item is:
If on the wire were sitting all different breeds of birds,
You might end up covered in, well, you rhyme the right words.
I enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek humor in this line. It is cheeky and the reader will infact rhyme the right words.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
This was a pleasant read. Thanks for the many laughs.
Well done and write on.
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Hello Daizy May
I am here to give you the first of ten reviews you will receive from me which were gifted to you by the lovely simply_complex
Wow...I cannot even imagine how embarassing that must have been for you. Actually, my mind will not even allow me to even go there to considerate it.
If that is not the number 1 all time birthday horror event then I do not know what is!
The rhyme in your item is splendid. It is all direct, fits perfectly and at no point does it feel forced in any way. I like that you have incorporated it into this item instead of opting for free verse because I think the rhyme helps to enforce the comical aspects of within item.
You do a great job of building up anticipation within the item. Right from the very beginning we are aware that something is about to happen and it is going to be at your expense but you do not divulge this incident until the very end. You kept my attention completely hooked to your item and it was well worth it. However, I do assure you, I was laughing with you not at you.
There is one small area which I will point out to you for editing consideration.
Third line of the second stanza- 'Relating' would flow smoother if you were to consider changing it to 'relaying'.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Well done and write on.
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Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you the last review you will receive as part of your cNote package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by an anonymous member.
This is an item which can be opened up to receive some marvelous imagery. Warm and vivid colors splashed through the content, mingled with aromas of the night atmosphere and sounds of the great outdoors. You have incorporated 'some' imagery into this item but I feel there is much room to tackle it further and really bring it to life.
The text font you have used to display this piece of prose is great because it is large, easy to read and free from distraction because it is plain and written in a standard color text.
The final line was great and ended the item nicely. It was humble, generous and fit the relaxed theme nicely.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
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Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you review number two of three you will receive from me as part of your cNote package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This was purchased and gifted to you by an anonymous member.
This Poem is absolutely sensational. It is sultry, sexy and highly sensual and you have expressed all of these sensations in a tasteful manner. The Rictometer format was definitely the right choice of format to use to display this item.
I loved the whole give and take theme within the item. She is giving and he is taking and then this reverses so both people are equally sharing their desires for the other. It is insatiable and highly charged!
There are no visible errors in this item and nothing at all needs to be altered. It is perfect as it is.
Well done and write on.
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Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you three reviews as part of the cNote number 2 package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by an anonymous member.
Your item is delicously dark and sensual. Good, strong word selections have been used and this encourages the dominance and power within the item.
The female character is sultry and it is easy to see why 'He' yearns to take her. Her actions enforce her as bait to the hungry appetitie of the man stalking her, getting ready to take her at will.
Great imagery has been provided. The atmosphere is dark and mysterious and you build up a good amount of anticipation as the reader waits to see what unfolds.
There are no visible errors but I do feel your item would be enhanced if you added some commas into the mix. Many of the lines have been left midway and the use of a comma would tidy this up.
Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Well done and write on.
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Hello ShellySunshine
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'EBB Love package'. I am here to give you the last review you will receive from me for this package.
I love the obsessional qualities in this Poem. You are expressing in no uncertain terms that you are nothing without this person in your life. He/she (this is not made clear) has such a strong and unhealthy influence over you and this shines through loud and clear in the item.
There are no visible errors but I do have some suggestions:
I feel this item is too small to have such numerous repetition in the content. It is established from the very beginning this person means more to you than yourself but it continues to come up in the content. I would remove this particular repetition to make way for something fresh in content to help capture and sustain the attention of the viewer.
I also suggest the removal of 'I need you'. Again, this is something which is made crystal clear to the reader and I see no reason for it to be repeated so often. Replace it with fresh, descriptive content and this item will shine!
Please remember that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello ShellySunshine
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'EBB Love package'. I am here to give you review number three from 5 you will receive from me.
This Poem reads like a song. It has an upbeat tune and rhythm mingled with a fast momentum that remains consistent from the beginning to the end.
Your item is displaying partial rhyme and although I am not usually a major fan of this type of rhyme, I feel it fits well within this particular item and I would not suggest changing it.
There are no visible errors and I have no suggestions for improvement.
Well done and write on.
Hello Nadene
I am here to give you the last review you will receive as part of your cNote package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by Mara ♣ McBain
This is a very pretty item. Flamboyant imagery has been used with the incorporation of strong, descriptive words. It is almost effortless for the reader to grasp a fantastic visual of this item.
Your Poem has a tremendous amount of depth but if the reader chooses to look closely they will find that there is an even deeper message which lingers just below the surface. As this is going onto the public review page I will not include my interpretation because I do not want to spoil it for others.
There are no visible errors in your item and I have no suggestions for improvement.
It was a pleasure to review you. Well done and write on.
Hello Nadene
I am here to give you review number two of three that you are to receive as part of the cNote number 5 package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by Mara ♣ McBain
I like this Poem because it speaks of a journey. It is much like reading a timeline.
The beginning of your Poem is centered on being swayed from decisions and you have used natural elements to display this to the reader. The 'wind' is trying to swerve you from your natural course.
The second half of the Poem touches upon isolation, being left alone with your own thoughts in the dampness of the dark cave. You explain to the reader that the wind is beating down upon the cave trying to reach you once more. I interpreted this as influence. You will have to let me know if I am right.
The finale of your Poem touches upon inspirational notions. There is a clarity as you merge into the light of day. During your time in the cave you have become better equipped to deal with the wind and all of the chaos it whips around you.
Your item came full circle and I liked that. From the beginning you present the reader with a problem. This problem escalates until the reader is manipulated into thinking there is no solution but you swiftly change direction and as such the problem becomes manageable. Your Poem reads like a story!
It had a quick momentum from the very beginning to the finale and you peaked your item at all the right times.
There are no visible errors and no suggestions for improvement are required.
Hello Nadene
I am here to give you 3 reviews as part of the cNote number 5 package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1519364 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by Mara ♣ McBain
This is an interesting Poem. It is very different from items I usually review so all of my comments will be based upon my personal opinion only.
I like that you have managed to incorporate a fair amount of imagery into such a small Poem. The tone of narration seemd dreamy perhaps even whimsical may be a better description. This tone lulls the reader into a sense of relaxation and tranquility.
My favorite part of your Poem is :
The sun becomes an orange pastille
and I take that same journey home.
But that man is wearing make-up!
I was able to conjure a great visual from this verse.
There are no visible errors in your item but I do suggest you incorporate the correct punctuation to help with the stability of the flow.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello 🌖 HuntersMoon
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 to receive the 'Poe package'. I am here to give you the last of five reviews that you are to receive from me.
This Poem is so elaborate in information that it reads more like a story. A story of a boy who knows that he is somehow different and would like to know his father. The actions of the mother are fantastic in sustaining mystery as to the identity of the father. Her frightful reactions at the boy's questions prepare the reader that the revelation is going to be shocking. You do this without giving too much away. There is a perfect blance.
The rhyme is superb and does not skip a beat. It all fits nice and snug and at no point are there any pauses or hitches along the way. I am pleased to see this item has been awarded and received the recognition it deserves.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not needed.
It was a pleasure to review you.
Well done and write on.
Hello 🌖 HuntersMoon
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Poe package'. I am here to give you review number 4 of five that you will receive from me as part of this package.
This Poem is yet another dark delight to come from this folder. I am very happy I was directed to your port to read your little shadowed treasures.
You seem to have an amazing ability to manipulate your reader into believing they are infact playing witness to the happenings in your items. This item is no exception. I was able to grasp a visual image of your content without effort. This is largely attributed to the effort you place into the imagery aspects of your items.
The tone in this Poem is very devious but also magnetic. It calls to the reader inviting them to become apart of the item. It is very sinister but not overtly evil as such. I am amazed by the level of your imagination. It takes someone with a great amount of creativity to take a Poem which is based on Winter and turn it into something elaborate and provoking as you have so clearly done.
There are some areas I would look over once more for improvement.
Line 1- bows should read as blows.
Line 2- Insert a comma after branches.
Line 6- Insert a comma after beat.
Line 8- Remove (...) and replace with a period to end the line.
Line 11- Remove (...) and allow the line to continue on naturally.
Line 15- Edit danced to dances to keep in conjunction with your tenses.
Line 21- Remove (...) and replace with 'and' then allow the line to continue on.
Line 23- breaths should read as breathes.
Line 24- Remove (...) and replace with a comma.
Line 26- Replace momentary with something fresh to avoid repetition. This word is used in the previous line.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello 🌖 HuntersMoon
Congratulations on your nomination into the Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 to receive the 'Poe Package'. I am here to give you review number three of five you are to receive from me as part of this package.
I love the obsessional tones weaved through this Poem. The last line is fantastic because it enforces these very qualities.
You were given a very small amount of room to work with and in light of this fact I believe you rose to the occassion nicely. You have delivered a story to the reader which has been brought to animation with the incorporation of detailed imagery.
However, I do feel there is still some room for improvement in certain areas.
The (a) at the beginning of line 4 requires capitalization.
Lines 7 and 8 also require some further focus placed upon the punctuation aspects.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem to be helpful and discard the rest at will.
Well done and write on.
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