I was weaving through your port and came across this folder. A folder which has snared my attention and accumulated much time on the old clock as I have reviewed many of the items displayed within there. It seemed ridiculous not to review such a folder.
This is a folder which houses faultless writing of the upmost quality and I can assure you, you have a fan in me! I was quite taken aback when I noticed that every item in this folder has received an award until I actually read and reviewed some of the items myself and now I can see why. They all deserve the recognition they have received.
It has been a pleasure to review your writing and I can guarantee you that I will not be a stranger to your port.
Well done and write on!
Wow...this is a fantastic beginning to what promises to be an interesting and well told story.
There was so much happening all at once and I was completely mesmerized by both leading characters.
The highlight for me is the imagery. You go to such lengths in all of your items to make the reader feel as though they are there with your characters. You leave no stone unturned and the delivery of small but important details make your items more special.
The intensity of the attraction shared between these two strangers is palpable. It can be felt with ease and it continues to mount in strength as the item continues to unfold. I loved it!
There were two small bumps in the road within the item and they were:
1. 'Bosses'. As I am Australian and write to meet this standard, I am unsure if this is classed as an error for you or not. Usually when bosses is spelt this way it indicates there is more than one boss. I thought I should bring it to your attention just in case.
2. There is no reason for 'Technicolors' to be capitalized. I suggest editing the 'T' to lower case.
As always, it was a pleasure to read your writing. I admire the sensational effort you put into all you create.
Well done and write on.
Let me begin by saying that there is nothing at all about this item I do not like.
You begin this Poem in a dark and ominous tone right from the onset. This attracted me to your item and began to entice the connection between myself and the Poem. The couplet format helped to ensure my attention was snared because it is a form I enjoy reading and writing to.
The beat of your Poem is sobering and quite somber. This was great because it matched the overall theme of the Poem very well.
The rhyme fits nicely and there are no visible errors. My only suggestion is to enlarge the font. It gets a bit tricky to read.
This Poem titled ~a diamond in the rough~ has been written in the couplet format. This is a format which I admire and enjoy reading so you had me hooked from the very beginning.
The highlight of your Poem for me is the descriptive wordplay. Your examples of what you deem to be a diamond in the rough are detailed, flamboyant and very easy for the reader to invoke a visual whilst reading your Poem.
I feel the repetition is overdone and would nestle within the item more comfortably if you were to limit it to every second or third couplet. This would allow more room for the full force of your imagery to shine through without being overshadowed. Of course this is just an observation and by no means do you have to agree with me.
I also happened to notice that there seems to be a lack of capitalization at your appropriate starting points. This was a facet which exposed itself to me immediately and I am thinking perhaps if it was able to capture my attention so effortlessly then it could possibly do the same to others. As I am new to reviewing your work I will assume you are a free form Poet and not make any suggestions in this area.
Great imagery, fantastic description and in general a feel-good Poem.
It was a pleasure to review you. Well done and write on.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Invalid Item"
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
The highlight in your story for me was the view point it was told from. I enjoyed reading this from the woman's perspective in the present tense. This aspect of your story reeled me in with ease.
There is a lack of trust being shown within the realtionship of the couple featured in the story and it is justified that this is no assumption but a conclusion which was come to with good reason. The woman would like for her partner to be reliable, trustworthy and somewhat responsible and the man seems to be unable to adhere to any of these traits which is beginning to breakdown the value of their relationship. This was a great storyline and one which is followed without complication.
The downside to this item is that many errors both spelling and punctuation can be seen within it. Certain lines are in need of a re-work to help them read smoothly. I also happened to notice that there are many words which are irrelevant and not needed and these take up space and draw your story out.
I believe with another quick glance at this, you will be able to find all of these errors very easily.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you to improve your writing. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Thanks for a great read and I do hope my review is of some help to you.
Well done and write on.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
After reviewing an item of yours not long ago I have become completely addicted to your writings and couldn't keep away from your name on the Order Board.
I was thoroughly impressed with this item. There is a deep story line, a clear meaning within the story and a smorgasboard of many different emotions.
The main character in your story is named Abby and she is a woman who suffered a vicious attack which left her deaf as a result. The highlight for me was that you never lost sight of this fact and as such you increased her remaining four senses in place of her sensory loss.
It was interesting to watch the immense guilt held by the male character in this item. He blames himself for the horrifc event Abby was forced to endure and feels the need to make it up to her at every given opportunity.
The love shared between the two people is a love of purity and unguarded connection. It was very beautiful to watch how these two people come together in many different ways and offer such wholesome support to one another.
There are no visible errors in your item and there is absolutely nothing I would change.
Thank you again for another stunning read.
Write on.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
Hello 🌖 HuntersMoon
I am here to give you a {iyem:1525013} review.
This is a very creative item. Your ability to fearlessly attempt foreign writing techniques is splendid to watch.
It is obvious to all, that you have the imagination of the writer but it seems you also have the heart too.
I enjoyed everything about this 'mirrored acrostic'. I imagine it must have taken a lot of effort and patience to bring it to this standard but you made it work and for this, you should be proud.
There is a nice show of word play in this item. Considering the restrictions placed upon the writer I expected some of your item to stall or perhaps sway off its true course but it stayed on track and did not skip a beat.
I have only 2 suggestions for you:
1. Keep watch for double spacing. This occurs on lines 3, 6 and 12.
2. Be on the look out for repetitious words. There are a few areas where I noticed multiple references to certain words. Be sure these do not creep up on you because they have the ability to harm most aspects of your writing.
This was a great effort and a pleasure to read.
Well done and write on.
Hello Warlock1111
I am here to give you a Helping Heart review.
The rhyme in this Poem is fantastic. I enjoyed the mixture of direct and indirect rhyme and I think you sewed it together quite well. What an imagination you have. The content was very unique and I was completely enthralled by it. Not for a moment, did my attention wander off.
Your item has no punctuation and usually this would affect my rating but I enjoyed the Poem so much that I will overlook it and rate your item on content quality only.
Continue to let that imagination soar above and beyond! Thank you for a great read.
Way to go!
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
This is such a sad Poem made even more unfortunate by the fact this does actually happen to so many women. The vicious cycle of abuse is depicted well in your item. The unanswered questions, the deterioration of hope and a sense of helplessness are just a few emotions named which are depicted potently within the item. If only more women were able to seek the courage to leave instead of being left with a tragic fate such as this.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required. This Poem speaks for itself.
Thank you for allowing me to read your moving words. It was a pleasure.
Well done and write on.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
This is a fantastic shop which offers individually unique images for personal use. I don't think there would be anyone who would not like what you have to offer.
The information displayed in the forum is detailed and any and all visitors who come to your shop are well informed as to what you have on offer, changes you are able to make to suit their own personal preferences and how much your services cost.
The prices are very reasonable and affordable. I am sure this shop is going to be a huge success.
Now I am aware this exists, I will be sure to bring some business your way.
Way to go! Best of luck with it.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
Please stop by and check out: "Invalid Item" . You have to be in it to win it!
Congratulations on your nomination into "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" . You were nominated to receive a Hemingway package. I am here to give you the final FAN-ATIC review you will receive as part of your package.
This is such a potent Poem full of painful recollections and emotions which are jaded. It is a Poem I am able to relate to very well because I find myself in and out of this same situation. Sometimes the charred memories we are left with after a series of traumatic events are just as real as the situation which occured to begin with. It is a battle which, I can tell you, does begin to ebb and receed over time, if you allow it to.
I think you have expressed yourself particularly well in this item and your talent for tapping into matters of the heart is on display for all reviewers to see. I hope writing becomes a theurapetic tool for you as it has for me.
Again, my only suggestion is to add some punctuation to the item. In this case I feel the item requires it because without it, the Poem reads as one long passage without taking a pause for breath. Punctuation is the cure for this.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
I am stopping by to give you a "Invalid Item" review.
This was hilariously informative and I do believe this is the first time I have ever put those two words together in the one breath. LOL
I love the way you have a knack for saying just the right thing at the right time in all of your items. The entire editorial was like a rollercoaster- Up, up...hilarious. Down, down...moving on to some information. (Repeat.)
The entire item was up and down and I found this to be thrilling, exciting and funny.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement are not required.
Thanks for the laugh!
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
I am stopping by to give you a "Invalid Item" review.
What a great opening stanza! It was a strong beginning to a fabulous Poem.
Excellent imagery has been captured in this Poem and you create a very strong visual for the reader to be swept up by.
The rhyme is splendid. I enjoyed the abab rhyme scheme and felt it suited this item perfectly. At no point did it feel forced during the reading.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement are not required.
Thank you for allowing me to read your writing.
Well done and write on.
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Helping Hearts is a busy group and in need of more members. Please check it out...
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
Your endless ability as a writer shines through this Poem with ease. I am amazed that not only have you created a Poem with an indepth story within it but also because you used each letter of the alphabet to begin it.
One would expect certain areas of your Poem to feel forced due to the letter template you needed to use but I can tell you, it does not. At no point did your Poem feel forced nor did the story veer off track. You made this look easy, when anyone one who attempted to write one of these knows that it is infact not an easy feat at all.
There are no visible grammatical errors in your item but I do have a few suggestions for improvement. Please keep in mind all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Line 1- I would make a slight adjustment to this line so it reads smoother.
'All she ever wished for, was a happy ending'. seems to read smoother just by the adjustment of 'was' and 'for'.
Line 9- Insert a comma after beginning.
In general, I would encourage you to sprinkle this item with some further punctuation strictly because of the length of the Poem.
It was heartbreaking to read such an item but you told it so well that I could not help but to be completey taken by it.
Well done and write on.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
I am stopping by to give you the final folder review you will receive from me as part of your "Invalid Item" package.
It seems you are affiliated with some excellent groups. I am fortunate to be a member of two of them.
This folder is extremely easy to navigate, actually, your entire port is very easy to venture through, which is great because that entices more people to read your treasures.
I am so pleased I was given the opportunity to stop by here and I hope to come visit again, very soon.
All the best.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
Hello JACE
I am stopping by to give you the first of two folder reviews you will receive from me as part of your "Invalid Item" package.
I love the introduction for the folder. You make it very clear to any visitors that this folder contains writings which are your own opinion. I like that you do not sway any potential reviewers to agree with you. You give them the freedom to decide for themselves and even encourage them to disagree with you, if they choose to.
The folder is organized and easy for the reader to navigate. I must admit, I do not think I have read any items in this folder yet, but I will make sure I do while your name is on the order board.
Great folder!
Well done and write on.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
I am stopping by to give you the final folder review you will receive from me as part of your "Invalid Item" package.
The folder I am reviewing is again titled directly: Adult. I am sure there would be others who would jump at the opportunity to tell you it is too simplistic and boring and suggest alteration, but not I. I feel the simplicity makes for easier navigation through your port. The reader is aware, with one simple word of what the content will be centered around. In this case, adult writings.
There is a great selection of little treasures for all readers to be entertained by. The titles are fabulous and admitedly, I have yet to read them all but I do remember dropping you a few reviews for some of the items and what I read was stunning!
I will be sure to try and make it back here to review more from this folder. I do feel you tackle the adult genre exceptionally well.
Well done and write on.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
Hello 🌖 HuntersMoon
I am stopping by to give you the first of two folder reviews you will receive from me as part of your "Invalid Item" package.
This is a neat and compact folder which is simply titled: Dark.
I know I am being biased when I say this because I am a dark writer, but there is no other place I would prefer to be in your port. Not to say that I do not enjoy all of your writing, because I assure you that I do, but this genre is right up my alley.
It is great to see you are slowly building up a collection of awardicons to decorate your folder and it is even better to see they are being given by numerous people instead of a select few. This is a clear indication your writing is being well received by many.
I do hope you add more to this folder some time soon. I promise, I will come racing here when you do.
Well done and write on.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
Your item stands true to the description that this is a slightly morbid write. It seems this Poem is generally based on the pain experienced by a husband, and this pain seems to be inflicted upon him upon him by his brutal and sadistic wife. Although heartbreaking to read the turmoil being experience, in one respect it was refreshing to read because it gave the viewer a chance to look at this form of abuse from another persepctive other than the woman's.
The structure of the rhyme was a little shaky because rhyming only the last two lines of each triplet creates a very loose rhyme which can be easily lost if it is not concentrated upon 100%. The rhyme itself has been well done but I feel it will not receive the recognition it deserves unless the viewer is prepared to look deeper into your item. The structure of the Poem itself overshadows the rhyme because it is too distracting. I feel the words should not be seperated midway and should remain intact, true to their appearance. This is a personal observation only.
I would have loved to have seen you end this Poem with ' Lost that ring'. It would have been a perfect finale to a Poem which was strong in theme. Again, this is only my personal opinion and should not be taken in any other way.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Thank you for an entertaining read. I do hope you find my suggestions helpful.
Well done and write on.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
Hello GabriellaR45
Congratulations on your nomination into "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" . You were nominated by simply_complex for the Emily Dickinson package. I am here to give you the final review you will receive from me as part of your package.
It is so hard to imagine that this was one of your first attempts at Poetry, Gabriella. The item is just phenomenal and at a standard many people strive to reach each and every time they put pen to paper. Obviously your talents stem back to a long time ago and you have sustained them with ease.
The first three lines are stunning and impeccably written. Again, the imagery incorporated into this item is beautiful and so vivid, that I felt like I was there.
The twist in the item was sad but poetic nevertheless. It gave your item a slight epic quality and in all honestly I kept saying to myself: "I wish I were able to bring to life such magnificent imagery, as youseem to do so easily."
There are no visible errors in your item and I suggest that this item remains the way it is, a portrait of perfection.
Hello Ieshwar
I am here to fulfill the review you requested in:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1537532 by Not Available.
This was a riveting story. I was completely hypnotized by your item and once I began reading, there was no way I was going to be able to stop until it was finished. I fell victim to your words.
General interpretation- You tell the story of a family of women who are degraded, repressed and quite literally servants to the man of the house. Your story revolves around old ethnic traditions where women are not considered equals let alone human beings. To the modern world this is shameful and shallow behavior which only serves to enhance the power of the man, sadly some countries still guard this tradition very closely and your story reminds us that this is still common practice in other parts of the world.
What I liked- I enjoyed the inspirational turn this story took. Amrita found the strength to empower herself and her daughters. Although she had been forced to suffer under these conditions, she had not been completely brainswashed to the point where she believed this was an acceptable behavior. She knew it was wrong but needed to obey in order to survive.
Watching her calculate ways to save herself and her 2 daughters was the work of pure maternal insitnct. No tradition, punishment or disapproval was strong enough to erase this from her. She was a fantastic character with many mental, emotional and physical scars of her own but she never lost her courage or her hope to dare to dream for something better.
What I didn't like- I thought it was a shame that the viewer was not able to play witness to what was written in the letter to her friend. We were told that she used this letter to pour her heart out for the first time since she was 16 years of age. Considering the connection you successfully established between the viewer and Amrita I think her character my have been able to take on more dimension and definition if you were to 'show' us the pain she had experienced during these years. A simple waft of knowledge was not enough to suffice.
Errors- There are many grammatical errors in this item that will need to be fixed if you would like your story to be the best it can be. You seem to have an issue with placing question marks in the appropriate areas. A question mark does not always need to be applied at the end of every question which is asked. When you find yourself faced with a series of questions which are constant and without pause it is more effective to punctuate at the end of the last question that is asked.
I also happened to notice there were many times where you have placed a period (fullstop) and ended a line which is clearly not finished but merely just in need of a pause. A deeper look into your item is what is needed to fix these errors.
Line 27- 1 needs to be removed from Deepika's name.
Paragraph 1- There is an abundance of repetition featured in this paragraph. The word so desperately needs to be eliminated. Repetition is forgiven in Poetry but very rarely in story writing as you are given ample room to be creative and stray from this pattern.
Please look for this, next time you view this item. I have only pointed out one example but there are many others scattered through your story.
Overall comments- I enjoyed the story because it has depth, meaning and an overall moral. All of the elemets needed for a successful story are present in this item but a few of them require some extra fine tuning if you really wish for this to shine to its full potential. From an attention perspective, you snared my undivided attention from the second paragraph and sustained it right through to the final line.
I hope my review has been of some help to you. I love this story and do hope you continue to fine tune it until it is perfect.
Well done and write on.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1537532 by Not Available.
Wow, this was such a strange prompt but I feel you did a good job with it.
I love how the tables are turned on the psychic, he should have known better than to trust a reporter. The swindler got swindled.
The roles of the characters were a little unusual too. One would presume that Jebediah is the main character but more emphasis is placed upon the reporter. There seemed to be a struggle for superiority but this mingles well within the story due to the power struggle being shown between the two characters anyway.
In general it was a good story and you used the prompt well but I would have liked to see more development in the plot. I feel this would have really drove the finale home to the reader.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1525013 by Not Available.
Hello Rebekah :)
Congratulations on your nomination into "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" . I am here to give you the final FAN-ATIC review you will receive from me for your Adopt A Newbie package.
This is a very informative article based upon Gestational Diabetes and your own personal experience with it.
Many people who have not experienced this illness do not realize the sacrifices these people must make in order to ensure the health of themselves and the child they are carrying. It is a condition which turns almost everything upisde down strictly because we need food in order to survive and most eating patterns are not healthy to begin with.
I experienced Gestational Diabetes during my pregnancy with my twins. It was such a battle to find suitable foods to eat which left me feeling satisfied. Skim milks, low GI breads, limiting sugar intake, even as far as certain fruits were scratched off the list as 'bad items' to be digested. It was a nightmare! Thankfully, the diabetes left and never returned once my twins were born.
Not only do I love the fact that this article is educational but I also love the inspirational way in which you have expressed it. Yes, at the beginning the diagnosis is all doom and gloom but you come to terms with it and in the process of the trial and error, you have trained yourself to eat healthier for the long term. This is a great source of strength for people who have just been diagnosed and are feeling at their lowest point. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and people know this because you managed to find it and tell us.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not required.
I am stopping by to give you a "Invalid Item" review.
The worst thing about this item for me was that it ended. This is a story which I feel would better be suited to a short of 300 words to better satisfy the reader with a conclusion. The content is so dramatic that it pulled me in immediately and 55 words was just not enough execution room to leave me completely fulfilled by the end.
I love the directness of the item. Naturally, as the item follows a word count of 55 words the content is sure to be direct but if many writers incoprorated this direct approach into their stories they would be more entertaining and riveting.
Please know that I think your story is fantastic, I just feel if it were written to a larger word count it would be outstanding!
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement have been made.
I am stopping by to give you a "Invalid Item" review.
It seems I did the second half of this search first. That sounds typical of me LOL
This is a great companion for the other search. It was very generous of the person/persons to make this for you. You must have been proud as punch when you received this, I know I would have been.
This is a fun item created in honor of a very deserving person. It was a pleasure to have the opportunity to complete it.
Well done and write on.
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General interpretation- You tell the story of a family of women who are degraded, repressed and quite literally servants to the man of the house. Your story revolves around old ethnic traditions where women are not considered equals let alone human beings. To the modern world this is shameful and shallow behavior which only serves to enhance the power of the man, sadly some countries still guard this tradition very closely and your story reminds us that this is still common practice in other parts of the world.
What I liked- I enjoyed the inspirational turn this story took. Amrita found the strength to empower herself and her daughters. Although she had been forced to suffer under these conditions, she had not been completely brainswashed to the point where she believed this was an acceptable behavior. She knew it was wrong but needed to obey in order to survive.