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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nmarshall
Review Requests: ON
1,125 Public Reviews Given
2,498 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi,

I found this through the read and review tool.

What a powerful piece! It breaks my heart that there are people who live this kind of thing. I'm not naive, I know it does.

This is well written and the imagery is strong and emotional. It grabs your reader and holds them rapt from start to finish. Well done!

I wish you the best in life and writing.

~Nikola
2
2
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

*Laugh* I so enjoyed reading this! It is well told, entertaining, and well, funny! I was smiling and laughing throughout.

The tale flows nicely and the egg related terms and such added such a nice, um, flavor!

Nice!

~Nikola
3
3
Review of Nobody Loves Me  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I enjoyed reading this! I related with the "middlers."

The description is wonderful! I loved that the "underdogs" won in the end. Someone finally showed them that they had value.

Nice!

~Nikola
4
4
Review of Beast of Chicago  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This is a really interesting read! I wonder how the real person would perceive it.

I've never heard of the Beast of Chicago but now I will have to read up on him. I love true crime as well as crime fiction.

This read as a real life entry. I felt I was in the mind of this madman.

Well done!

~Nikola
5
5
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This entry is a great way to help civilians better understand what our military goes through. Thank you for your service!

I was relieved that the patrol all made it back on this mission.

~Nikola
6
6
Review of AN EXTRA VIKING  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

Sounds like someone has had some experience with working as a movie extra! The detail in this is wonderful!

I like how the action is explained blow by blow so that readers understand what being an extra entails.

Nice!

~Nikola
7
7
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks fro entering!

I like this. It's personable and feels as if the narrator is talking directly to the reader.

Description is wonderful and adds so much texture to the story.

Read the first paragraph again. Wouldn't the first several sentences be ended with questions marks? Isn't the narrator asking questions here?
See what you think.

~Nikola



8
8
Review of STARMAN  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This had me a little confused. What was the truth Starman was to reveal? Most folks know that celebrities (though not all of them) tend toward drug and/or alcohol abuse, broken marriages and living with other people. I was expecting a major bombshell.

I love music. Musicians are a lot like writers. They tend to feel the world more, I think. This would also make them more descriptive. Adding
description and more depth to his story would really draw your readers in.

Keep at it!

~Nikola
9
9
Review of My name is Nate  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I like where you are going with this. At times, it is confusing to read. With more description and explanation into the character, I think this would
be a good, and really fun, piece.

~Nikola
10
10
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This is well written! The narrator draws in your readers and hold their attention throughout. The flow is great as is the description used.
One can't help but feel for this poor guy.

Nice!

~Nikola
11
11
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I think this has some real potential. It feels rushed. I didn't feel the confusion and frustration Patrick should have been feeling.
While I would agree with there being no family or friends, with his line of work, I would think that he would be well protected.
He would know things that the general public, including hospital staff, shouldn't be privy to.

Slowly revealing his discoveries will keep readers in suspense. They will stay with this and want to know what memories slowly surface.

Write on!

~Nikola
12
12
Review of I Am Jill  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I would have loved to read more in-depth. Utilize descriptive words, not only for the physical but the emotional as well.
This will help your readers to connect.
There is so much emotion here to be tapped.

Keep writing!

~Nikola
13
13
Review of Wanted  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This was suspenseful and powerful. Holy crap! I was glued to the page.

The dialogue propels this story forward nicely. Word choice is great. I could practically taste the tension.

I was destroyed by the ending. My heart went out to the detective.

Nice!

~Nikola
14
14
Review of The Alpha Lights  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy . Thanks for entering!

*Laugh* What a great poem! From beginning to end, I was enthralled.

This piece flows well. The words bring to life humor, characters, and setting.

I enjoyed reading this!

~Nikola
15
15
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
HI!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy . Thanks for entering!

This story reads like an adventure I would face!*Laugh* The lesson here to ask for verification before paying up.

This flows well and the dialogue is good. I like the first person narrative. Word choice enhances the tale.

Comments:

Our road *boarders a white water babbling brook.
*borders


I enjoyed this!

~Nikola
16
16
Review of The Wish  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy . Thanks for entering!

What most of us would give to go back in time and make changes for the better! I think this story will speak to all of your readers!

This flows well. The thoughts of Terran as well as dialogue between she and Eva show the story in a way that's personable. Frank comes
across as the jerk that he is.

Nice!

~Nikola
17
17
Review of Blue  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
HI!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy . Thanks for entering!

This is intriguing! Poor, ordinary Fred! Of all the interesting things to happen in his life.

This flows well and is told in an engaging fashion. It drives home repeatedly that Fred is just a simple, honest guy then you hit
your readers with the twist. Nice!

Two things you might want to consider: making your font a little larger and leaving a space between paragraphs. This will
make it easier to read.

~Nikola
18
18
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy . Thanks for entering!

This is entertaining! I like the way the narrator wonders and ponders about the reason of the sand's direction. And I love the way
the poem ends as the sand's journey does.

It reads a little choppy in a few places to me. See what you think.

Nice!

~Nikola
19
19
Review of Specious Wings  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy . Thanks for entering!

Your narrator took his new appendages with more grace than I would have!

I like the story feel of this poem. Readers can follow along with the progress of the wings and the narrator's feelings on such.
Even though the poem looks uneven it actually flows well. The words are well chosen.

Nice!

~Nikola
20
20
Review of Flowers  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as judge for "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"   by Nikola~Ugh Summer! . Thanks for entering! I apologize in taking so long to judge.

I like the idea here but it feels more like an outline. There is so much more to the story and your readers will want to know the details. Who did she meet and why? Describe the setting and emotion using words that help your readers feel the story. Work with this piece. I think you'll
find that your characters have more to say.

~Nikola
21
21
Review of Flowers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as judge for "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"   by Nikola~Ugh Summer! . Thanks for entering! I apologize in taking so long to judge.

This is a powerful story! You cover a lot of ground in just under 2,000 words. Not only do you illustrate family going through the household of a passed loved one, but you cover the dynamic between the sisters and the family "secret."

The story flows well as you cover all this ground, flawlessly moving among the subjects. Your characters, and the dialogue, are believable. Your word choices add to the power of the tale.

I noticed that you had a disclaimer for anyone who might be triggered by the subject matter. Very thoughtful!

~Nikola
22
22
Review of Deep Waters  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy . Thanks for entering!

There is a lot of detail here that makes the story come alive! The fear is real and comes across to your readers.

You have a great way with words! I loved the description of the sun in the sky among the clouds.

There are words among the story that should be plurals. A few other minor errors in punctuation.

Overall very nice!

~Nikola
23
23
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy . Thanks for entering!

I think we all fear this very thing at times. We worry that we aren't good enough or we don't have a purpose. The truth is, we all are worthy and
do have purpose!*Smile*

In a short poem, you conveyed the feeling of being overlooked well. The words flowed nicely and were well chosen.

Nice job!

~Nikola
24
24
Review of Ground Control  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy . Thanks for entering!

I love this! I'm quite fond of nature and being outdoors. This painted a picture that I could enjoy, even smelling the spray from the waterfall.

The flow is great, you word choice fits the poem well.

I like your view on Punxsutawney Phil!

~Nikola
25
25
Review of On Mother's Day  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy . Thanks for entering!

I can feel the love and respect when I read this. What a beautiful poem to your mom.

Comments:
In the first line, "my" should be "me."

Try to rework this without using "me" and "my" quite as much. It trips up the reader and causes them to focus more on the repetitive
words than the meaning of the poem.

No matter old I am you will look after me
*how old I am

Just a little work and this poem will shine. The sentiment is beautiful!

~Nikola
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