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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nmarshall
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1,125 Public Reviews Given
2,498 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

*Laugh* I so enjoyed reading this! It is well told, entertaining, and well, funny! I was smiling and laughing throughout.

The tale flows nicely and the egg related terms and such added such a nice, um, flavor!

Nice!

~Nikola
2
2
Review of Nobody Loves Me  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I enjoyed reading this! I related with the "middlers."

The description is wonderful! I loved that the "underdogs" won in the end. Someone finally showed them that they had value.

Nice!

~Nikola
3
3
Review of Beast of Chicago  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This is a really interesting read! I wonder how the real person would perceive it.

I've never heard of the Beast of Chicago but now I will have to read up on him. I love true crime as well as crime fiction.

This read as a real life entry. I felt I was in the mind of this madman.

Well done!

~Nikola
4
4
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This entry is a great way to help civilians better understand what our military goes through. Thank you for your service!

I was relieved that the patrol all made it back on this mission.

~Nikola
5
5
Review of AN EXTRA VIKING  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

Sounds like someone has had some experience with working as a movie extra! The detail in this is wonderful!

I like how the action is explained blow by blow so that readers understand what being an extra entails.

Nice!

~Nikola
6
6
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks fro entering!

I like this. It's personable and feels as if the narrator is talking directly to the reader.

Description is wonderful and adds so much texture to the story.

Read the first paragraph again. Wouldn't the first several sentences be ended with questions marks? Isn't the narrator asking questions here?
See what you think.

~Nikola
7
7
Review of STARMAN  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This had me a little confused. What was the truth Starman was to reveal? Most folks know that celebrities (though not all of them) tend toward drug and/or alcohol abuse, broken marriages and living with other people. I was expecting a major bombshell.

I love music. Musicians are a lot like writers. They tend to feel the world more, I think. This would also make them more descriptive. Adding
description and more depth to his story would really draw your readers in.

Keep at it!

~Nikola
8
8
Review of My name is Nate  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I like where you are going with this. At times, it is confusing to read. With more description and explanation into the character, I think this would
be a good, and really fun, piece.

~Nikola
9
9
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This is well written! The narrator draws in your readers and hold their attention throughout. The flow is great as is the description used.
One can't help but feel for this poor guy.

Nice!

~Nikola
10
10
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I think this has some real potential. It feels rushed. I didn't feel the confusion and frustration Patrick should have been feeling.
While I would agree with there being no family or friends, with his line of work, I would think that he would be well protected.
He would know things that the general public, including hospital staff, shouldn't be privy to.

Slowly revealing his discoveries will keep readers in suspense. They will stay with this and want to know what memories slowly surface.

Write on!

~Nikola
11
11
Review of Wanted  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This was suspenseful and powerful. Holy crap! I was glued to the page.

The dialogue propels this story forward nicely. Word choice is great. I could practically taste the tension.

I was destroyed by the ending. My heart went out to the detective.

Nice!

~Nikola
12
12
Review of The Alpha Lights  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

*Laugh* What a great poem! From beginning to end, I was enthralled.

This piece flows well. The words bring to life humor, characters, and setting.

I enjoyed reading this!

~Nikola
13
13
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
HI!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This story reads like an adventure I would face!*Laugh* The lesson here to ask for verification before paying up.

This flows well and the dialogue is good. I like the first person narrative. Word choice enhances the tale.

Comments:

Our road *boarders a white water babbling brook.
*borders


I enjoyed this!

~Nikola
14
14
Review of The Wish  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

What most of us would give to go back in time and make changes for the better! I think this story will speak to all of your readers!

This flows well. The thoughts of Terran as well as dialogue between she and Eva show the story in a way that's personable. Frank comes
across as the jerk that he is.

Nice!

~Nikola
15
15
Review of Blue  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
HI!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This is intriguing! Poor, ordinary Fred! Of all the interesting things to happen in his life.

This flows well and is told in an engaging fashion. It drives home repeatedly that Fred is just a simple, honest guy then you hit
your readers with the twist. Nice!

Two things you might want to consider: making your font a little larger and leaving a space between paragraphs. This will
make it easier to read.

~Nikola
16
16
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This is entertaining! I like the way the narrator wonders and ponders about the reason of the sand's direction. And I love the way
the poem ends as the sand's journey does.

It reads a little choppy in a few places to me. See what you think.

Nice!

~Nikola
17
17
Review of Specious Wings  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

Your narrator took his new appendages with more grace than I would have!

I like the story feel of this poem. Readers can follow along with the progress of the wings and the narrator's feelings on such.
Even though the poem looks uneven it actually flows well. The words are well chosen.

Nice!

~Nikola
18
18
Review of Flowers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as judge for "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"  Open in new Window. by Nikola~Thankful Library Lady Author Icon . Thanks for entering! I apologize in taking so long to judge.

I like the idea here but it feels more like an outline. There is so much more to the story and your readers will want to know the details. Who did she meet and why? Describe the setting and emotion using words that help your readers feel the story. Work with this piece. I think you'll
find that your characters have more to say.

~Nikola
19
19
Review of Deep Waters  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

There is a lot of detail here that makes the story come alive! The fear is real and comes across to your readers.

You have a great way with words! I loved the description of the sun in the sky among the clouds.

There are words among the story that should be plurals. A few other minor errors in punctuation.

Overall very nice!

~Nikola
20
20
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I think we all fear this very thing at times. We worry that we aren't good enough or we don't have a purpose. The truth is, we all are worthy and
do have purpose!*Smile*

In a short poem, you conveyed the feeling of being overlooked well. The words flowed nicely and were well chosen.

Nice job!

~Nikola
21
21
Review of Ground Control  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I love this! I'm quite fond of nature and being outdoors. This painted a picture that I could enjoy, even smelling the spray from the waterfall.

The flow is great, you word choice fits the poem well.

I like your view on Punxsutawney Phil!

~Nikola
22
22
Review of On Mother's Day  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I can feel the love and respect when I read this. What a beautiful poem to your mom.

Comments:
In the first line, "my" should be "me."

Try to rework this without using "me" and "my" quite as much. It trips up the reader and causes them to focus more on the repetitive
words than the meaning of the poem.

No matter old I am you will look after me
*how old I am

Just a little work and this poem will shine. The sentiment is beautiful!

~Nikola
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23
Review of Fun With Felines  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This is why I have dogs!*Laugh* I can't imagine moving so many cats without crates. The horror!

This is well written and you definitely get the point across. The description leaves your readers both sympathetic and, yes, even laughing.
I would have loved you to have drawn it out just a bit more. Add to the suspense and the suffering felt. Just a personal thought.

~Nikola
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24
Review of Freebooters  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophurky Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This is a fun lament to a lack of pirates! The poem gives readers a variety of popular groups all the while pointing out that we lack pirate culture.

It did read roughly in a few spots but overall was fun and entertaining!

~Nikola
25
25
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as the judge for "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"  Open in new Window. by Nikola~Thankful Library Lady Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I like the fantasy as well as the romance elements in this piece! I also like that the girl, Angel, is not aware of the other world that surrounds her until the telling of this. It gives a very modern perspective.

This flows well, the dialogue is good and the characters believable. I hope you plan to expand on this. There is much more to tell.




Comments:

But that didn't seem *possibly.
*possible

So, you're not in league with *you father?"
*your

he relied,
replied

In the story, you mention that the dreams wouldn't occur unless one is one is in danger of losing the other. If the story is to stand alone, you will need to either expand on this or omit it.

Keep writing!

~Nikola


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