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1,993 Public Reviews Given
1,994 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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526
526
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love your twisted sense of humor. This is really good. I like that you feature sox... I mean socks. I might have a thing for them too, but that isn't important to this review, unless it is? The blessings are all wonderfully positive and totally twisted in their own way. Write a lot more like this please! and send me the links!
527
527
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
OMG! Hillarious! I love it! Budd YY Zer is one of my favorites. I just love that trio of frogs, were they the actual band? Or were they just covering the tune? Your poetry is really good but I looooove this story! Definitely reading another one! You are a really good writer, stick with it!
528
528
In affiliation with Dark Dreamscapes  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Cool poem. I like that you called it a big orange squash rather than using pumpkin. It seemed to be just that little extra touch that this poem needed. I didn't find this prompt inspiring but clearly, you did. You make my Pandora response to the other prompt totally unoriginal. Congratulations on your win.
529
529
Review of Nightfuries  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Dark Dreamscapes  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It is not what i saw in the prompt, I think yours is a hundred times more creative than mine and I loved your use of Madrugada. I don't go out of my way to use exceptionally stand on their own descriptive words, but I should. Congratulations on your win.
530
530
Review of Haunted Garden  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Dark Dreamscapes  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a lovely dark poem. I really like the form and you seemed to use it well. Congratulations on your Dark Dreamscapes win. I wish I was as talented. Maybe you'll be one of the honorary royalty of darkness next year. congratulations again. I loved your poem.
531
531
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Interesting subject, very good structure and rhyme. I had heard around that your poetry was good having read this I have to agree. I think I just might raid your port so don't be surprised if you get a lot more reviews from me. Great job keep up the impressive work.
532
532
Review of Grandparents  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a cute tribute to becoming a grandparent and the love one feels for their grandchildren, by blood or not. I would offer congratulations on such wonderful news on having lovely additions to the family. I hope you get to spend a lot of time with your grandchildren. I know they will grow to appreciate every minute they get with you.

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533
533
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I am not accustomed to reading scripts so I cannot give you any advice on the format of this piece. But I enjoyed what I read, with the exception that it doesn't seem finished. none of the questions I have were answered, like why didn't he have his pants on when he died? and how did he know he was dying to take of his pants. and is that the only point of this story?

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534
534
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
First, this doesn't really feel like it falls into a category of a poem, it is more of an open letter to a dear friend. It is like a short essay on friendship. Aside from the mis categorization this really is a good piece of writing showing the true nature of the friendship.

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535
535
Review of Words of Wisdom  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a short piece that seems to suggest the pathway to a happier life. I wish it were this easy for me. I don't think it is a path I am capable of following. no matter how hard I try, I can see myself falling from the path like a rope bridge and crashing even deeper into the rough places in my life. I guess I just don't trust myself enough.

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536
536
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ouch, This is a story of a chance for love that was missed for lack of action. The poem keeps bringing you back to the line
But I should have called her back.
I haven't experienced a lost chance of love like this but this poem makes me feel the pain of it. I love the word choices.

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537
537
Review of Ely's Highs  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
That is a wicked trip. All hallucination all the time. I would suggest to make it slightly more readable that you put a second return between paragraphs. Wdc doesn't automatically indent paragraphs and they do tend to run together without the extra space. Especially in such a trippy piece you need to make it marginally more readable.

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538
538
Review of Book of Hebrews  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I think this piece would be strengthened by first quoting the scripture then breaking down the meaning. there is a quotation tool in the bar above the text box next to the pre with the re underlined. to use it type in the text you are quoting then highlight it and click the quotation tool it will put writingML around the quote like this {quote}{/quote} then you can continue on to discuss the meaning of the scripture.

*Boat2*    Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.*Boat2*
539
539
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is strong with biblical references, I will give you that. But perhaps you could effect more change if you give specific examples of modern systems that are ignoring scripture. This only provides information to those knowledgable in the bible. To properly rebuke the wrong doing you must lay out the wrongs clearly so that the perpetrators know where they have gone wrong. The can't fix what they don't see as broken.

Basically, you have added god's knowledge, you need to add your observations of modern circumstances. I read the description expecting you to lay out the ways in which the government and society were acting contrary to god's word. I was really looking forward to your observations.

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540
540
Review of Life after Loss  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a lovely poem, it expresses the emotion of grief and loss very well. Might I suggest you check out
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This item number is not valid.
#1984506 by Not Available.
It is a very supportive forum to discuss and share your grief. I know it has helped me substantially with loss. It doesn't even have to be a death, there are other types of loss and all are welcome there.

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541
541
Review of Him...  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It is a good start. I like the way you have built the characters and relationship. The structure of the piece leaves me wanting though. It is customary to give each person's dialog a separate paragraph. And on wdc it is a good idea to put two hard returns in between paragraphs to make for more distinction and an easier read.

Now to the proposal-
You are the most supportive and caring person I have ever come across in my life. I know you are not perfect, but so am I.


I think you- mean but neither am I.

and

Sometimes, I think that if I am good enough for you.


should probably be- Sometimes I question if I am good enough for you. Or Sometimes I wonder if I am good enough for you.

Those two wording changes would help the fiance seem less self-absorbed, as you have it written it sounds like he thinks he is perfect and far better than you.

those are the major things I spotted. otherwise this is a good start to the story.

Another suggestion, rather than opening another file to write a part 2 just go back to this file and click on the gear in the upper right hand corner. It will give you the option of editing this piece. Then you can just continue this story in the same document. It will save you portfolio space, you only get 10 items in a free account.

*Boat2*    Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.*Boat2*
542
542
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is interesting. I think it would be better formatted as a free verse poem. also might I suggest you use a larger font to display your writing. Not everyone on the site has great vision. you can adjust the font in the little bar of choices above the typing box. Font size is controlled by the SSS box. i recommend at least a size four.

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543
543
Review of My fault  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
No, it just seems like it is all your fault. I feel this way a lot too. I am responsible for almost everything around my house and it seems like I am always failing everyone. If you ever need someone to talk to you can email me by right clicking on my handle and choosing the email option. or by responding to this review.

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544
544
Review of My end  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
THis is a very pessimistic piece. There are a lot of other natural means to come to one's end. I worry about your state of mind that these were your go to choices for a poem. I hope it was just for some kind of prompt and not how you are really feeling.

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545
545
for entry "Chapter two" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
this is a really intriguing story. it sounds like a long and involved dream or fantasy world. I love the impossible coincidences that the dead twin is apparently shaping. it reminds me of a fantasy setting I worked on briefly when I was younger. In it an author enters the world of her book and discovers it is just as real as her own.

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546
546
for entry "Chapter One" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is some ride to read. Fantasy and magic tied into a dead sister's plot to hook her living twin up with some wealthy weirdo. And she just happens to know a supermodel who wears the same size? So improbably believable. It is total fantasy fulfilment and I love it!!!

An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews
547
547
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
this is an interesting concept. i like where you appear to be going with it. gonna read the rest. can't help myself you have sucked me in. everybody on this site seems to do that! Darn it I am on here and I should be washing dishes! Or showering and working on dialog for my own writings!

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548
548
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
THis is a cute dialog between a tone deaf human and a bird and a bee. I like how it starts with an excerpt from a song. It is an inspired intro. I love nigel and bb. i love how it ends with nature basically telling the main character not to sing. at first I thought it was a cat talking because they think they sing well even though... well they don't.

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549
549
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
in the second to the last line I believe you mean unite not unit. I like the message of the poem. I think this is the way everyone ends up feeling as they enter the second half of their lives. Everything past school seems like a brave new world, especially with all the new technology coming out every year. The whole covid situation is transformative in an even more immediate way.

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550
550
for entry "Character list" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
That is a more thorough list of characters than I ever manage to pull together in a prewrite. I always end up having new characters popping up over the course of writing. sometimes even major ones end up asserting themselves. I congratulate you on the work you are getting done.
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