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1,759 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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576
576
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Interesting... god, I start a lot of reviews with that word, but it usually applies. Your argument is very interesting. Arguing the essential immorality of morality. Perhaps it isn't morality itself that is immoral but the application of that morality that is moral. Application is wherein the human element enters the equation.

Remove the human element and morality can absolutely be moral, but absent of humanity is there any reason to have morality.

Just a few thoughts I had after reading this piece. Thank you for making my brain work!
577
577
for entry "Ch. 2: The Proposal" 
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Dialog from different people belongs in different paragraphs. It lessens the confusion over who is saying what. The fourth paragraph is a tangle of who is saying what, even with the conversation tags.

For that matter, a new paragraph should be started with any new subject changes, not that you seem to have had a problem with that.

I like the pace and the characters, but introducing people as fox people or tiger people sounds almost racist to me, it makes it less about who that character is and more about what. I prefer it when a character just happens to be of a species and you might have to work a little harder to figure out which one.

overall I like the first three chapters of this story and would definitely read more.
578
578
Review of The Well  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It is good, but you have formatted it like prose in paragraphs here is how I would format it in stanzas as poetry in the parentheses are spelling or wording suggestions.



On an island by the coast, where the tide does rise the most, lies a house beneath a hill. Twas at this hill that blood did spill, an act most dark and grim. Come and sit by the fire pit, and listen if you will, to the tale of a man and the ones who wronged him.

It was long ago, so very long, before either of us were born. A man named Jack picked up an axe,and murdered his family purely out of scorn. Some say he was drunk that terrible night, others that he simply went mad. After his arrest, he did not protest, saying it was the must fun he’d ever had.

He dragged their bodies one by one, out back to the family well. He tossed them in, and with each splash, he cursed their souls to hell. After his capture he was sent to rapture, via electric chair. And to this day, the people say, his victims’ spirits are still there. Deep below the ground, amount the damp and cold. Their bones black with rot, and covered with stinking mold.

And on certain nights,
when the moon is full,
and you can see it’s glowing beams,
you can still hear the sound of a chopping axe,
and ungodly, ghastly screams.
So if you’re ever down that way,
by that terrible island rock,
stay away from that acursed (accursed) well,
lest you join their flock.
They’ll grab you by the hand,
with a strong and icy grip,
drag you to the bottom,
and from your body your life will slip.

Then you’ll be trapped down their forever,
with the other victims of Jack.
Because once you set foot on that wretched island, (Once foot is set on that wretched island)
you’re doomed to never come back.
So heed my words, one and all,
people young and old.
Stay away from that forsaken island,
or be drowned in deathly cold.
579
579
Review by Sox and Sandals
Rated: E | (4.5)
suggestion, put original song's lyrics in a dropnote to work off from. I can't remember how the song goes well enough to add more.
580
580
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
THis is a sad poem. Of love falling apart. I dislike reading about the loss of love like this. Falling out of love is a real experience and when it comes to reading about love I prefer the fantasy of everlasting first love. But there is a place and an audience for the realities of falling out of love. This is a good example of that kind of poem. Well done.
581
581
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I love this story. the personification is perfect. I love the talking, tree climbing, bunny chasing car. There is a problem though, there are a lot of point-of-view inconsistencies. It doesn't come to the point of confusing characters, but it is pretty jarring trying to follow the narrative from one head to another. A rewrite with the focus of staying in Carmen Impala's head would be good, or if you must jump back and forth do it only with clear scene transistions. One scene you are following Carmen's thoughts, feelings and opinions, in the next you are finding out just how crazy John thinks he is going.

I like the idea of a romance between the drivers and the vehicles. perhaps a little more time should be diverted to this from the obvious crazy plotline. It would be a real payoff if they have a successful date. Though how would that work? Would they meet somewhere so Carmen and the GMC could interact or would John pick the girl up in Carmen which would leave the GMC sitting in the driveway. I can't see him liking that.
582
582
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like this story. At first I didn't understand how it qualified as a paranormal romance but by the end I got it. I think the end is just a bit too open though. It doesn't end really it just runs out of steam. It isn't as sad as the build up. I would also like a more definite answer to where she went.
583
583
Review of A Jump in Time  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this story, it reminds me of quantum leap. I loved that show. I wish they would reboot it like they have so many other shows. There was another show, nowhere cafe I think it was about a magical diner. Anyway, the idea isn't incredibly new or novel, but it is well done and I loved the parrot as the guide person.
I would love to find out where he was supposed to be jumping to. A continuation of this story would be an interesting read I think. It is well put together for being the response to such a wild prompt. Sometimes following such weird prompts can lead to complete disconnects in the stories that result. I think you did well, tying everything together and making it plausible. The wild nature of the prompt gave the piece more of a hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy feel. I like that.
nothing grammatical jumped out and drug me from the enjoyment of the story so I think you did well there too. I would also like to find out how the dude got recruited to the time jumping gig. Great story!
584
584
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I could smell the sweet scents of summer all through reading this piece. Okay, so it is partly because it is summer here as I am writing this. I sympathize with the needing to go out to warm up from the overworked air conditioning. I am a winter baby and most of the time I am pretty warm, but my sister was a summer baby and it seems like she was almost always cold.
Frozen watermelon sounds delicious. Being on a parade route sounds cool. I almost never got to see parades live, we lived in the suburbs of Denver and it seemed like the parades were always happening in downtown Denver. My parents couldn't ever seem to get us out of the house in time to see them. We did do fireworks though. I remember them scaring me. Especially the year we watched them from Denver Metropolitan College. That was about the last time I saw the fireworks with my whole family together, that fall my parents got separated and Dad was a vet and had never really enjoyed the fireworks anyway because of undiagnosed PTSD.
585
585
Review of Rule Britannia  
for entry "Chapter 1" 
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Interesting chapter, highly tantalizing, The characters seemed a little flat though. They seemed like the stereotypical stuff shirts and lacked some of the depth that really draws you into a story. I think it is because the chapter is so short. I would extend it a little and weave in some sensory details on the setting.
What is the weather like. Set the atmosphere of the story. If you are aiming for a mystical flair, what kind of weather do you see when you close your eyes and say mystical. If you are going scientific, what should the weather be doing? Think about how the scenes are lit. Is it by the flickering of candles or the color-draining lighting of fluorescent lighting?
What are the background noises? Is there smoke in the air? SHould there be more conversation than that? Or are these to men just that to the point. If they are having drinks you would think they would chat a bit not just blurt out the clandestine plans and leave.
What makes the hotel perfect for him to stay there? Isn't there something we can learn about the first character from his home surroundings. Does he have all the trappings of a mystic scattered around his house or is he orderly and neat?

I just was left with a lot of questions about things when I got to the bottom of the page.
586
586
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
what a lovely little acrostic poem. I liked where it rhymed. i loved the alliteration in the first line. It described movies quite well. it is short but the form dictates it shouldn't be any longer. I was satisfied by the length it wrapped itself up nicely.
587
587
Review of The Eternal Ghoul  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with Dark Dreamscapes  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Creepy, very creepy. I kind of saw the twist coming I felt like the main character would turn into a ghoul the moment he saw it. The ghoul eating his brother was a bit of a surprise. Overall the tone and style of speech uplifted the creep factor. THank you for a very disturbing romp through fiction.
588
588
Review of Writer X  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*LeafO*  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon"  *LeafO*




interesting piece, a lot of contradictions. This person seems to be an exercise in contradictions, an oxymoron. Someone I would like to learn more about. I think it would be better done in a show don't tell kind of way though. Show how they contradict themselves don't just string two contradictory statements together.
589
589
Review of Thursday Thoughts  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
this is a very good scene very illustrative of falling out of love before one has fallen too hard. I can see this pair never seeing one another again. i can see them walking the same path with others and running into one another but not seeing each other.
590
590
Review of Prussian Blue  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*LeafO*  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon"  *LeafO*


YOu really feel the color in this piece it personifies it as something of a mother. The way it rocks you to sleep. I love the scene that this piece puts in my head. it is endearingly pleasant. There is no conflict, no real story to this. It is more of a poem in prose form.
591
591
Review of Fear the Beard!  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
do I sense a fear of beards? Okay but what can a beard have to do with the ability of a player to play their sport well? I don't understand the correlation. Maybe the extra time other players put into smoothing their faces, bearded players put into learning the game?
592
592
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
That was an emotional story. was it really cracks in reality or the delusions of a dying brain? you really get inside of her head and it isn't a nice place to be. i feel for her and like she ended up in the meadow. I would have been really unhappy if it had been the other place.
593
593
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What a sweet little love poem. it sounds really good when I read it aloud. i really like it. it is on the informal side but that is okay. not all poems have to be written to please the slide rule and stuffed-shirt crowd. I think you should show it to your love and see what they think. That is the true test of a love poem.
594
594
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
oh, that is gut-wrenching! Very good job! it really didn't matter to me that you didn't create the characters. You did them proud. I really feel stoic's anguish. Can I say very good job again without seeming to gush? I am working on my ability to express emotion through my writing right now and I know it isn't always as easy as one might think.
595
595
Review by Sox and Sandals
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
This was hard to read. There were a lot of grammatical errors. It was hard to follow, but i did pick up that it was essentially a list of pretty bloody battles. There were characters but they were pretty flat. I wonder if this wasnt something inadequately translated from another language
596
596
Review of The Winners  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Beautiful! It is a beautiful "snapshot" of what the creative process can feel like. I love the passion the main character has for photography. The contest seems an unreachable goal but the fact that he comes in second to someone so obviously better prepared than he is shows his potential. I love the generosity of the woman who wins the contest and the friendship they form. Excellent story at least worthy of ten stars!!!!
597
597
Review of The Desert Road  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My only criticism is that the last three words should be two- outer space. It was a very interesting storyline it seemed a bit rushed but I loved it. I feel bad that the main character died, and apparently a lot of other people too. the ufo bit was alarming.
598
598
Review of Medusa  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
what a perfect end for such a despicable creature. i like the way you made me care just enough about what happened to him that I wasn't sure I wanted it to, but then you made him horrible from the beginning and I was rooting her on whole heartedly from the first hints of her transformation
599
599
Review of The Silver Fox  
Review by Sox and Sandals
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a sad story. Unfortunately, men like the silver fox are all too common in America. I admire the author for volunteering to help men like this and I too share the guilt of not helping when I could have. I would hope there are more people out there like the author. I can vividly see the scene based on the dialog and tone. I can see the silver fox wobbling his way out of the bar and off into the night where he finds a semi-sheltered corner somewhere to curl up and pass out. It sounds like a sad life.
600
600
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Ooh. I hadn't realized there were so many ways an apple could be thought of. A lot of the symbolism is pretty dark. If you think about it for such a tasty fruit it is really portrayed in a bad light in most literature. All because of the forbidden fruit thing which is weird since nobody alive can for certain say the tree of knowledge was an apple tree.
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