The author takes a look at some of the things average Americans can find frustrating in life.
WHAT I LIKED
The author is candid, real, and his honesty comes across. There's a mix of frustration and yet pride for what he believes in.
Now, some might consider this piece "gritty," but if you are interested in reading piece that stimulates thought over some of the more confusing of American society, this is for you.
It's a writing contest for WDC. The rules are clearing stated, but check the posts for updates to the prompts.
WHAT I LIKED
How the contest involves members of the WDC Community. It encourages members to compete and interact.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
If anything, you might want to update the introduction for 2006. At first, I thought this contest wasn't going on anymore until I checked the forum messages.
This is a biographical account of the author's grandfather after he was released from a Russian prison camp. While in the camp, he finds a baby he gives to his farmer. Years, later, he meets that baby, grown into a man in Romania.
WHAT I LIKED
It was karma that the baby returned as a man years later to find Teodore in Romania. It was a very heartwarming story that I enjoyed. I thought the author did a good job retelling it and capturing the feel of the times.
SOUND
There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
MECHANICS
I found a few minor punctutation mistakes I'm sure the author will catch on an edit.
The folder contains the author's works in progress ranging from novels, uncertain, and novellas. I thought it was appropriate to the contests listed within.
MECHANICS:
I did not notice any grammar/puctuation mistakes.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
I might consider using a graphic or WDC ML to make the folder a bit more eye catching.
The folder contains the start or chapters of stories the author is still fleshing out. The description of the folder is "uncertain" and I thought it was appropriate to the contests listed within.
MECHANICS:
I did not notice any grammar/puctuation mistakes.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
I might consider using a graphic or WDC ML to make the folder a bit more eye catching.
The folder contains three stories inspired by the Christmas spirit. They are heartfelt and very inspiring. The contents listed within are very appropriate to the title.
This folder was given an awardicon for Inspirial and Creative Christmas Writing.
The poem talks about a moment between two would-be lovers.
WHAT I LIKED:
The author captures the scene of the moment well. Not only that, he captures the feelings and emotions one has a love touches his heart.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem, with the 1st and 3rd lines rythming and the 2nd & 4th lines rythming. The meter is nice.
MECHANICS:
I did not notice any grammar/puctutation mistakes.
SUGGESTIONS & PARTING THOUGHTS:
One thing that struck me was I thought the author was geninuely falling in love but one line reads "I told you sweet lies." That didn't ring quite true to me. Perhaps the lies being told where to impress? It seemed to take a little away from the "geninueness" of the emotion.
A rought and tumble cowgirl stumbles upon a shop that promises ultimate beauty but when she takes it, she's in for more than she bargined for.
MY THOUGHTS - WHAT I LIKED
The ending. The woman had to return to the shop. Outer beauty comes at a price.
POINT OF VIEW
This is written in the third person omniscient mainly from LouAnn's perspective.
CHARACTERS
LouAnn, the handsome man in the shop.
DIALOGUE
The actual dialogue was good, but I might suggest a proof read for dialogue tags. They are used inappropriatly throughout.
SOUND
There are couple of choppy sentences, but that goes back to the dialogue tags. For example, the author wrote:
"Ah, I must get my boss for you then. Stand here, and don't touch anything!"
He said with a suspicious glare as the man limped away from her and left her in the strange shop alone.
The correct way is:
"Ah, I must get my boss for you then. Stand here and doen't touch anything!" he said, with a suspicious glare. Then he limped away from her and left her alone.
MECHANICS
I noted mostly puctutation mistakes. Also, I might suggest using Italics when using thought.
Natasha is adopted by an aunt and uncle when her parents die, but just as she is starting to feel like one of the family, she gets cancer.
MY THOUGHTS - WHAT I LIKED
This story is such a tear jerker! It's really done well, but my heart was breaking for this poor little girl. I'm glad her parents saw fit to give her the simple wish she wanted before she died.
POINT OF VIEW
This is written in the first person by the father. "Dr. Shenony."
CHARACTERS
Natashia, Dr. Shenony, Naina
All are very sympathetic and sweet. I think the Mom and Dad do everything they can for the little girl and thier love really shines here.
The poem, to me, speaks of the author's unspoken words, I would think "I love you."
WHAT I LIKE
I like the words used that bring the "unspoken" concept to life. They were perfect to invoke the image of words unspoken.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem with no rythme scheme. I would make an arugement for stanzas simply because as is, with no stanzas, it takes away from the meter of the poem as read outloud.
SUGGESTIONS & MECHANICS
I did not notice any grammar mistakes, again, I might make an arugement for puctuation & capitalizaton.
Suggestions are as noted before - spilt the poem into stanzas and use capitalization to begin those stanzas. I'd love to rate the poem higher if the author fleshes it out a little more.
The author is witness to a robbery in a jewelry store.
MY THOUGHTS - WHAT I LIKED
It was told in such a way that it really got me caught up in the moment. I thought I was one of the people in the jewelry store when it was being held up. The storytelling was vivid and gripping.
POINT OF VIEW
This is told in the first person by the author.
CHARACTERS
The author, gangsters
You feel every emotion the author feels. From just wanting to be safe and complying with everything the gangsters say to little moments of defiance.
DIALOGUE
It was very appropriate and used well.
SOUND
There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
MECHANICS
I noticed minor typos, grammar/puctutation mistakes that I'm sure the author will catch on a re-read.
SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT
My suggestions have to do with presentation, really. I would suggest taking the bold off and just using regular font. Use italics only when you really want to get into the author's head. Also, watch your spacing and space between dialogue tags and paragraphs.
This was a very good, vivid retelling of the crime, but it would be more effective if the bold was taken off.
The folder is called, "A Dozen Maximum, Gently Used." Contained within is letter/memo regarding Uncle Harris, an editorial, and a message forum for Hurricane Katrina.
I found all the contains to be appropriate to the folder. They are challenging, supportive, and inspirational. It almost seems like an eclectic bunch of material, but it theme behind everyone of them makes the folder work and work well.
SUGGESTIONS:
If anything, I might suggest using a graphic or more WDC ML to make it a little bit more eye catching.
The folder is called "Life's Little Lessons" and the stories contained within are light, easy to read and very appropriate. Each story has a lesson, but they are told in such a way that it is not preachy or overbearing. These are good short stories which are inspirational and inspiring.
STRUCTURE
The author uses WDC ML well to catch the reader's attention. If anything, I might suggest using a graphic as well.
This is a great folder and I'd highly recommend it.
A young teenager is told she has AIDS. The mother takes it hard because the girl is all she has left.
MY THOUGHTS - WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author presented the emotions of the mother and I thought she captured them well. I also liked the fact she tackled a conventional social issue like AIDS - treating it with dignity and respect. The story educates without being preachy.
POINT OF VIEW
This is written in the third person omnicient.
CHARACTERS
Bianca (the teenager) Kate (mother)
Both are fleshed out well. Kate grief is palatable.
DIALOGUE
Excellent. It is appropriate and moves the story forward well.
SOUND
There are no uneven or choppy sentences.
MECHANICS
I noticed minor grammar/puctuation mistakes. I'm sure the author will catch them on a re-read.
SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT
If anything I found the centering a bit unsettling on the eyes, but that's just me personally.
Lian has a dream about peanut butter, but when he wakes up he isn't feeling well and cries "I don't like peanut butter." He has another dream about peanut butter which teaches him not to be too hasty.
MY THOUGHTS - WHAT I LIKED
It's a very cute little story for kids. It's light, and very engaging to read.
POINT OF VIEW
This is written in the third person omniscient from Lian's perspective.
CHARACTERS
Lian, Mommy, and the King.
DIALOGUE
Very good! It moves the story forward well and captures Lian's childlike innocence.
SOUND
There are no uneven or choppy sentences.
MECHANICS
There are minor grammar/puctuation mistakes I'm sure the author can catch on a re-read.
The narrator meets up with a former lover who wants to become their lover again.
MY THOUGHTS - WHAT I LIKED
The ending! The ending had a surprise I didn't expect.
POINT OF VIEW
This is told in the first person by the narrator.
CHARACTERS
The Narrator. The narrator's former lover, Alexander.
Both are fleshed out well. You understand their motatives and why they did what they did.
DIALOGUE
It was good and accented the story well.
SOUND
There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
MECHANICS
I did notice a few grammar/puctutation mistakes that were minor and the author should catch on a re-read. "i" was not capitalized a couple of times and there were a couple mispelled words like "intrigud", "thos" and "explaination".
SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT
Watch your grammar/puctutation. Double check - a good proof will really make this work stand out and shine.
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