This is a monthly poetry contest. The rules are clearly stated.
WHAT I LIKED
I thought it was a nice way to bring members of the WDC members together to interact. I like the no prompts rule. This way the author can feature the poetry they've written.
STRUCTURE
I did not notice any grammar/puctutation mistakes in the introduction.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I might suggest using a little more WDC ML in the introduction to make it eye catching.
I might also list the donations recieved to help you run the contest.
Enclosed are some GP's. Use them as a donation to your contest.
The author meets a skunk. It's a very humorous poem.
WHAT I LIKED
This is a nice light read. It brought a smile to my face.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme, however there are misc. rythmes. The meter is nice on the ears.
MECHANICS
I did not notice any gramar/puctutation mistakes.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
My only suggestion would be to take out "your" from in front of "color" because I thought it disrupted the meter of the stanza. Other than that I was impressed with this light hearted, very engaging poem.
I could tell this poem was polished, edited, and well presented.
A look at dream and its meaning, involving a covered bridge and ghosts.
WHAT I LIKED
This captured the feel of an epic poem, which I thought was done well.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme. The meter is nice on the ears.
MECHANICS
I did not notice any gramar/puctutation mistakes.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest taking out the stanza about dream interpretation or if anything rewording it. The only reason why I suggest is that the previous stanzas are so vivid, the mists, the ghosts, I found myself saying "this is a dream..." and that stanza just seemed to boink me on the head with that concept.
I enjoyed the stanza and I really thought it brought the poem home well. I could tell it was polished, edited, and well presented.
This folder contains a series of the author's short stories.
WHAT I LIKED
The stories are well varied. My favorite was "CARSON CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTE" about a prision in which all the in-mates go missing. I thought it was a good beginning for a novel.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
If anything I might suggest using some WDC ML or a graphic to make the folder stand out and more eye catching.
It was well organized and the stories were appopriate to the title of the folder.
Two homeless teenagers get a chance at having a good life when they go to work on a riverboat.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the pacing of the story. It moved forward well and the ending is a very positive, inspiring one.
POINT OF VIEW
This was written in the third person omniscient. Good job staying in POV.
CHARACTERS
Jerry, Julie, Merry Belle
It's easy to understand Jerry and Julie's motavations. They are orphans who will do anything to make their life better. Merry Belle is the lady who gives them a chance at a better life. There's just enough to the characters which makes this a very positive, inspiring story.
SOUND
There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
MECHANICS
I did not notice any grammar/puctutation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Again, it was very positive. I really have no suggestions and I thought this was a very nice read.
There were miscellaneous grammar/puctutation mistakes.
I would suggest an edit to catch these. Remember to capitalized your "I's."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have several thoughts/suggestions for helping to "polish" this story off. These are just suggestions and are meant to be constructive.
I might suggest spacing here on WDC. It's hard on the eyes to read when it is bunched up.
It's hard to think of three criminals as protagonists - especially the way Greg, Bart, and PJ talk and then to have them run from the cops after they were caught stealing, well... I wasn't endeared to the characters. I might suggest fleshing them out a little, toning down their gruff language and making them a bit more sympathetic. Maybe PJ is a mobster because he's so poor and he wants to help his grandmother who raised him pay the bills? Just a suggestion, but for a story to really click, it helps to have characters readers can find common ground with.
I think once you flesh out your characters, touch on their motavations, and define them a little better, then you can put them in this story and have it work well.
I'd love to rate the author higher if there an edit to the story.
A heartfelt tribute to the author's father who was a sailor.
WHAT I LIKED
This was a very sweet, enduring poem. The author's love for his father shines through.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.
I might suggest breaking the poem up into stanzas to help establish the meter.
MECHANICS
I did not notice any grammar/puctutation mistakes.
This poem was entered in the Bard's Hall Forum, however it did not fit the prompt for the contest. Try to be mindful of contest prompts and appropriate review forums. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
Cassie is converted to a vampire against her consent and must learn to live in a new world.
WHAT I LIKED
I thought this was very creative and I liked the originality behind it. The pacing was good and the ending was very satisifing. I think if the author fleshed this out, it would make a good novella.
POINT OF VIEW
This is written in the third person omniscient mainly from Cassie's perspective.
DIALOGUE
Very good - moves the story forward well.
SOUND
There are no uneven or choppy sentences.
MECHANICS
There were minor grammar/puctutation mistakes that I'm sure the author will catch on an edit.
Lord Jeremiah rules over an animal kingdom where a hideous murder has been committed.
WHAT I LIKED
I thought this was very creative and I liked the originality behind it. The opening to Part One was great. I loved the visual.
His palace looked out over the sea and Jeremish loved nothing more than to spend his evenings on the south balcony, gazing at the water and breathing the salty air.
Part one is very engaging. SUGGESTION:
I might suggest writing a tie in between the prologue and part one as I have no idea how the 4 hikers fit into the story. Maybe if you used a scent of a flower or a familiar tree. Right now there is no connection and the prologue and part one seem like two different stories.
POINT OF VIEW
This is written in the third person omniscient.
DIALOGUE
Very good. There's a good balance of dialogue and narration.
SOUND
There are no uneven or choppy sentences.
MECHANICS
There were minor grammar/puctutation mistakes that I'm sure the author will catch on an edit.
This is a modern day story about a woman who immaculately conceives a child.
WHAT I LIKED
I thought the author did a great job capturing the emotion of "fear" and what it might have felt like for Mary all those years ago to find out she was expecting.
POINT OF VIEW
This is written in the third person omniscient from Maria's perspective. I only saw one POV shift when the author gets into Nurse Serephemi's head in the middle of the story for a few sentences. I would suggest staying away from such abrupt shifts as it is disconcerting for the reader.
DIALOGUE
I thought it was well done and moved the story forward well.
SOUND
I did not notice any gramar/puctutation mistakes.
MECHANICS
There were minor grammar/puctutation mistakes I thought the author would catch on an edit.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
When getting into a character's thoughts, use italics.
I did see an edit was done to provide some spacing, but I might suggest spacing between paragraphs and dialogue tags. It would be make it easier on the eyes to read.
I loved the modern day spin on the immaculate conception.
A man struggles to deal with his transformations into a werewolf.
WHAT I LIKED
I thought the author did a great job painting the scene and descriptions of the story. I felt like I was there watching the scene unfold.
POINT OF VIEW
This is written in the first person by the werewolf.
Good job staying in POV.
SOUND
There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
MECHANICS
There were minor gramar/puctutation mistakes I'm sure the author will catch on an edit.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Watch out for repeative phrases and words. I have the same problem. For example in the 2nd to the last paragraph she is used a lot to start a start a sentence. An edit for this repeation will help you catch it.
Dr. Williams loses his wife and so uses his scientific knowledge to try and find a way to bring her back - instead he only manages to prolong his own life.
WHAT I LIKED
I LOVED the story concept. I enjoy a good sci-fi story which blends elements of human nature and that's here. William's motavations are totally understandable. The plot, pacing, and storyline were excellent. Very imagitive.
POINT OF VIEW
This is written in the third person omniscient from William's perspective. Good job staying in POV.
DIALOGUE
It was fine - appropriate to the plot.
MECHANICS
I did not notice any grammar/puctutation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
My suggestions have to do more with the excutation of the wriing and I hope it helps.
In several cases, I noticed repeatation that I could be cut out. For example, in the 4th paragraph, every sentence starts with "He." In order to keep the writing fresh, try using Williams name or try starting the sentence with some action,
For example: Stopping at the door, he opened it and stepped into the stale air of the lab.
While the writing is technically proficient, I would suggest using "snappier" descriptive words. Have a thesaurus nearby to look up less descriptive words for better ones. Adding this "pizazz" to the story will make it really stand out and shine.
This the opening chapter to a fanstay novel. In this chapter we meet Wind-Chaser, a unicorn who has prophetic visions.
WHAT I LIKED
The author did a VERY GOOD JOB fleshing out the unicorns' background, the time, the setting, the place. Atlee-an was clearly established. There was a good balance between descriptions and actions.
If anything the pacing of this chapter was slow. (but steady). Not quite sure what to suggest to quicken it - keep your explanations brief and concise - to the point.
SUGGESTION This is a very long chapter. I might suggest breaking it into 3 seperate chapters - that might pick up the pace. The plot is good - it's there - the story and background of Wind-Chaser and Atlee-an is clearly established, but the pace needs to come up a little.
SHOW AND TELL
I thought there were a good balance here. With a fantasy novel, the author has to "put" the reader in the time and place with clearly defined descriptions. I thought that was good here. To an extent in this type of novel, some things have to be told to the reader to keep the storyline moving. A good example of this is the 3rd paragraph. The author goes a good job mixing this up with action and showing us just what "type" of unicorn Wind-Chaser is.
SUGGESTION Perhaps use a map of Atlee-an in the opening graphic of the novel to help the reader further visualize the setting?
DIALOGUE
Well done. I thought it was very appropriate to the novel.
CHARACTERS
(Main) Wind-Chaser, Rip-Tide, unicorns.
Both these unicorns are well fleshed out. Rip-Tide is Wind-Chaser's friend. Friendship is clearly defined between these two which adds a quality of endearment to the novel. Both are honorable. Their actions make sense.
SOUND
There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
MECHANICS
There were minor grammar/puctutation mistakes I'm sure the author will catch on a re-read.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
My suggestions are noted above. This is truly a great effort and I loved how the author fleshed out the world of Atlee-an. However, the plot of the novel needs to "pick up some steam" (so to speak) in order to keep the reader from putting down this chapter for a break.
Reviewed by StephB in the Sandbox.
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THE CONTEST
WHAT I LIKED
I might suggest using a little more WDC ML in the introduction to make it eye catching.
Enclosed are some GP's. Use them as a donation to your contest. 
WHAT I LIKED
This poem was entered in the Bard's Hall Forum, however it did not fit the prompt for the contest. Try to be mindful of contest prompts and appropriate review forums. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. 
