I read your satirical poem "Makes Sense". I will give you a review. Although I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your poetry has impacted me.
I read your lyrical fantasy "Shattered Paradigm". I am giving you a review. I am not a review professional, however, I can provide feedback on how your lyrical fantasy has impacted me.
The following lyrical verses read like this:
Shatter away the old beaten paths.
Burn away every bridge to the past.
I hunger for a new kind of existence.
Draw me forth from the shifting sands.
Nothing will be the same, now that you're here.
You charged my dying world.
Teach me how to forge over these ruins.
Teach me how to forge over these ruins.
These lyrical verses sound like someone who is living in horror. This person wants to find their way to a newer existence and would like to emerge from the sands in this way. This person sounds like they're near death and doesn't want to be haunted by the ruined past they had.
I would like you to go over the line Teach me how to forge over these ruins. Perhaps you may want to change this line to something different. I hope my suggestion is helpful.
It sounds like this person has experienced a past full of torment and wants to break away from it. This could change by turning to God and asking Him for help.
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. This lyrical fantasy was well-expressed. You did a great job! Keep up the good work!
I hope you have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.
I read your poem "She Is". I will do a review for you. Even though I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your poetry has impacted me.
Wonderful! This was a beautiful tribute to your mother. Your description of her as a nurse was well put together. I enjoyed reading about your mother. She would be proud of you for remembering her this way.
I am looking forward to hearing more of your writings. I encourage you to keep up with your writing. Writing about your mother would be something good for you to do in her memory.
I read your short story "The Game He Plays". I am going to give you a review. It's true. I am not a review professional, although I can provide you with feedback on how your story has impacted me.
You expressed yourself well in your short story. I felt sad for the little boy in blue when a vicious game was played on him. People can be mean to one another. It would be easier if we could be kind to each other instead of being cruel. The person who wanted to blow his horn when he didn't have one was an unkind soul. I can pick up the little boy blues emotion. He must have been hurting inside and felt like crying. The person who was cruel to this little boy could've bought him a horn. This would've made a huge difference in this boy's life. He would have grinned from ear to ear.
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. I hope my suggestion will be of help to you.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.
I read your story "Rebel Yell". I am going to give you a review. Although I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your story impacted me.
I have to be honest with you. There were a lot of misspellings and letters that were overlapping. I read your whole story. It was interesting.
It would've been easier to read if the words were spelled right. It was an enjoyable story. I recommend you get someone to help you with your spelling, etc. A professional could help make your story better.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.
I read your article "Kids". I am going to give you a review. I am not a review professional, however, I can provide you with feedback on how your article has impacted me.
You are not alone in your decision not to have kids. I made that decision when I was diagnosed as having a mental disability. My sister mentioned that if I had any kids, she most likely would've ended up raising them. When I heard the stories of people with kids and the day-to-day responsibilities that went along with it, I made the right decision not to have kids. Due to being depressed all the time when I was 17 to 50 years old, I didn't think it would be fair of me to bring them into the world. It would have been too much stress on myself to have carried on such a responsibility. Even though my ideal dream was to be happily married, have two kids (1 boy and 1 girl), have a nice house, and live happily ever after, I didn't regret having made that decision.
I am a straight person and I have a good friend who is gay. Some nice people are gay, and, because of their lifestyle, I still think of this person as my good friend.
I enjoyed reading your article. It was nice to hear of someone else having the same feelings as I do about this. I encourage you to keep up with your writing. Your writing was easy for me to read and understand.
I am looking forward to reading more articles from you.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone is deserving of this.
I read your melodrama poem "No Pity". I will do a review for you. I am not a review professional, although I can provide you with feedback on how your poem has impacted me.
Your poem reads as follows:
Lest I be forgotten in this strong stench,
I shall let you know it has come to pass.
Tired and drained, smelling quite far from French.
Sadly in this round, I have gained some class.
The stinking power has faded, I'm so upset.
I must now take this into my own hands.
Standing on the ledge, I can let go of the hurt
I have felt on these lands. Letting myself fall
away from this plight, the last of my stink floats
into the clouds. I know now I couldn't have won
this fight; I've never fought well against massive
crowds.
So long, my fellow stinkers of the day.
I've come to find this isn't the way.
I have made a few minor corrections to the above. I hope this is helpful to you. Read it over and see what you think.
Your poetry was very descriptive when it came to having no pity. It was well-written. I could feel the emotion behind it.
I liked reading your poem. It was a dark way of talking about having no pity. I can understand where you're coming from. When you have no pity, your life can be miserable. It begins to eat at you.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone is deserving of this.
I read your flash fiction story "Sid Smiled". I am going to do a review for you. Although I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your story has impacted me.
It's wonderful how you can take a boy, Sid, who couldn't read, and at the end would say, I could learn to read. This is a story of inspiration for me. The man in my life didn't know how to read. One of his wives taught him how to read. I also taught him how to read. He had forgotten how to read, and now he reads quite well. He asks me how to spell some words and he is texting online. I taught him about phonics. I taught him how to sound out the words. I am glad I was able to help him.
You didn't say in your story if Sid was dyslexic. It sounds like he may have been. It was nice of his friend to find out why he didn't like reading. It must have been embarrassing for Sid, and, perhaps some shame to go along with that.
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. I enjoyed reading your story. I am looking forward to reading more of your stories.
I hope your days are filled with blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.
I read the comedy version of your poem "It's About Removing The Layers". I am going to give you a review. Even though I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your poem has impacted me.
You poem was funny. I liked the term you used for turkey (Tofurky). Speaking in tongues was hilarious (talking in Yiddish, or whatever it was in the beginning). The part about the snake scared me since the thought of a snake scares me. Your Nana said that the snake had to be a poisonous one and she called Joel Osteen a charlatan and accused Papa of being a self-hating Jew.
There was a lot going into all that. I had to laugh. Your poem was well-written. It looked like some thought went into writing this comedy.
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. You presented it well.
I hope you have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.
I read your nature poem "Morning Aubade". I am giving you a review. Although I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your poem has impacted me.
Your poem reads as follows:
The cloying mist yields to the breeze;
its lace-like remnants slowly fade
revealing fields where chickadees
rejoice in song across the glade.
The gentle touch of morning light,
flows like an echo, soft and clear,
to bring forth colors lost at night
as poppies and lilacs appear.
Hummingbirds and bees join in
the melody of day's rebirth;
their whispered drone part of the din
that fills the air with nature's mirth.
An aural picnic, filled with joys;
a celebration of the earth
in harmonies that life employs
each morning at the day's new birth.
Your poem is beautiful. Your rhyming rhythm is great. It reminds of the spring and summer. It brings about a refreshing life to a gorgeous day. I can feel the senses that your poem brings.
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. It's a delightful way to begin the day.
I hope you have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.
I read your drama "Who Are You?". I am not a review professional, however, I can provide feedback on how the drama has impacted me.
Your drama was very well done. You found your match, but, in the end, she broke your heart.
I can relate to your poem. I was in the hospital with a roommate who was identical to me. She had the same mannerisms, look, and the same background. The only difference was that she had three kids and I had none. Talk about an eerie situation. The only way the nurses and doctors could tell us apart was to put my hair into a ponytail. We were great at playing ping pong though.
I've often thought people were making fun of me by using sarcastic humor or mimicking me. I am sorry the love relationship didn't work out in your story, however, I enjoyed reading it.
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. It reminded me a lot of myself.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.
I read your poem "The Train". I am not a review professional, however, I can provide feedback on how your poem has impacted me.
It's an interesting story about a train meeting its unstoppable force; recourse. Your poem was well-written. The train saw many things on its journey. Your poem is also uplifting.
Your poem reads as follows:
Once the train barreled through the darkness, maintaining its course
Until the train met its unstoppable force.
The ending gave inspiration even though the dark coals slowed the train down. Recourse was what the train chose to get through its journey, and got through all that heft in the end.
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. It reminded me of the old story "The Little Engine That Could". It couldn't make it up the hill when it said "I think I can, I think I can". It did make it up the hill and the engine had a big smile on its face.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.
I read your short story "Tall Tales WC 218". I will gladly give you a review. Even though I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your short story has impacted me.
I enjoyed reading your story. I understand why you wondered what kind of mischief your husband was up to after having heard too many excuses for why he was always late. You loved him anyway despite all that.
I have someone in my life like yours; always making up excuses. I do love him. It does get frustrating though. We do have quite the same similarities in our lives. He jokes around a lot, and it's sarcastic humor. It sounds like it's putting people down. I don't much care for this kind of humor; I don't get it.
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. It should help others who are going through a similar situation. It gave me some insight into understanding that I am not alone in
this kind of situation.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.
I have read your story "Eryndor", and the excitement I feel for doing a review is wonderful. Even though I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your story has impacted me.
I love the title of your story "Eryndor". How did you arrive at this title? When I try thinking about a title for my story, I picture different places and place two ideas together for the setting of where it will be or I come up with the personalities of my characters to get settled on the names for them. I have a creative imagination and use it to my advantage when I have a plot in mind.
You did an excellent job doing an outline for your story. It was impressive! It encouraged me to do the same thing.
The last part of your outline is read as follows:
Adventures and Legends
Eryndor is a land ripe for adventure. From the quest to uncover ancient magical artifacts discovered in the ruins scattered across the land to the defense of a village from a marauding dragon, the opportunities for heroism and exploration are endless. Legends speak of a hidden realm beyond the Endless Desert, where the secrets of the world's creation are kept, and a prophecy that foretells the story about a great upheaval that will change Eryndor forever.
This is just a glimpse into the world of Eryndor, a canvas for endless stories and adventures. Each region holds its secrets and stories waiting to be discovered and told.
I changed some words in the last paragraph that I believe will be helpful to you. See what you think.
I am thinking about what happens next at Eryndor. I look forward to reading about it. Is this an outline for the NaNoWriMo Contest? It would be a good story for that. I am considering trying for this contest.
I hope you have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. I encourage you to keep up with your writing. You have a great start for a story.
I read the beginning part of your novel "Folder 9". I am thrilled to provide a review for you. I am not a review professional, however, I can give feedback on how your novel has impacted me.
I don't know anything about blogging; I have not tried to do this yet Fantastically speaking, I think it's great to have a folder for your romantic poem collection. I look forward to reading your poems on romance that you have written so far. Everyone has a different perspective on how a romantic relationship should be. I'm interested to hear yours.
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. Your experiences may help others in dealing with theirs.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.
I read your political poem "Mendacious Mediocracy" and will gladly review it. Although I am not a review professional, I'll provide you with feedback on how your poem has impacted me.
The first two stanzas of your poem read as follows:
Important rage is inspired
by the pathetic presentation of a perfidious
opportunity to pick a political winner
one who actually cares about
anyone other than themselves
promising the earth
paradise too perhaps
so many good things when you vote for them
more of what you want
much more of what you need
piecrusts
I have two suggestions for making your poem sound better. They are as follows:
1. Remove the word actually on the fourth line of the first stanza:
Instead of one who actually cares about to one who cares about
2. The third line in the second stanza should be as follows:
Instead of so many good things when you vote for them, it should be there are so many
good things when you vote for them.
The last line when the word piecrusts was used sounded interesting to me. I haven't seen it used in that context before.
I enjoyed reading your poem. You said a lot in those 27 lines. It made a lot of sense to me. I agree with what you said. I am looking forward to reading more of your poems. I like the way you write. I don't understand politics; it isn't easy for anyone to understand. The politicians do lie a lot. They promise things you don't get and pass bills on things people don't know anything about and don't care to read up on issues. I am trying to learn; it just doesn't make much sense.
I hope you have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.
I have read your poem "The Secret", and I will give you a review. I am not a review professional, however, I can provide you with feedback on how your poetry impacted me.
I have a few suggestions on how to make your poem sound better. I hope my suggestions will be of benefit to you.
When I think about you,
It reminds me of the elusive verses;
love letters drafted yet never sent,
dwells in the corners of my heart.
Engraved deep inside my soul
beheld an ethereal secret
which I shall remember to bear
with me until my final breath.
Perhaps I loved you more, just to
let you go, I yearned for your
essence in another, yet knowing
he would never be you.
-Vaishnavi
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. Getting your thoughts out in the open is good therapy. Don't give up.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good thoughts, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.
I read your story of inspiration "Fake It Till You Make It"., and I will do my best to give you a review. I am not a review professional, however, I can provide you with feedback on how your story made an impression on me.
The part of your story that interested me is as follows:
I just sat up and let my legs hang off the side of the bed for a minute while my body got acquainted with this unusually welcomed morning. I desired coffee, mixed with some vanilla a little in. I look forward to what the day is going to bring me. Who will I meet, can I remain genuine and confident within myself? I will challenge myself to take it slow today, to experience the day and its moments as they come, without making judgments and creating unfair expectations from lines that lead to negative feelings about myself or others. I will practice patience in the face of frustration and anger. I will solve problems with kindness and common sense.
I will allow opportunities to rise to take hold of me and carry me toward great things. I am eager to learn new things no matter how the delivery of the lesson is received. I will analyze and recover as much information as I can to help my character grow into a loving and intelligent vessel. Today I choose to be a small light in a dark room.
It was inspiring to me since I take the medication, Wellbutrin, myself. I take Aripiprazole (the generic version of Abilify) along with it. They work well together. They were like miracle drugs to me. My life changed for the better when I got on them.
I encourage you to keep on writing. Writing is good therapy and you write very well.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.
I finished reading your poetry "The Old Morality Was Still Hanging Aroun". I will gladly give you a review of how your poetry made me feel after reading your poem. I am not a review professional, however, I'll do my best to give you my point of view and how it has impacted me.
My first reaction when I saw the part about having a degree in Business Administration, I was thinking you were talking about me. I have an Associate of Applied Science Degree in Business Management and a Business Administration Certificate. There is a bit of humor there. I worked hard for these honors. I had to take one class at a time for five years for the degree and another year for the certificate. I was asked if I would like to walk at the graduation ceremony or not: I replied, "Of course, I'll walk with the graduates, I didn't work this hard for nothing". On the humorous side of things, I would go to the counselor's office in tears because I was doubtful; I was certain I wouldn't be able to pass the test I was going to take, only to tell the counselor the next day that I made it; I did pass the test.
I want to encourage you to keep up with your writing. It's enjoyable to read your material.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.
I read your writing "Death Unexpected". I will give you a review of how your story had on me. I am not a review professional, however, I will gladly provide feedback on how I felt after reading your story.
I enjoyed the mystery shows "Columbo", Murder She Wrote, The Nancy Drew Mysteries, "Get Smart" and so forth. My preference is to read a good mystery or murder story rather than having to watch it on television or at a movie theater. The reason is I don't like to see bloody murder scenes and gory details. They end up leaving me with a scary feeling inside. My stomach ends up being queasy and in knots. I don't care for this kind of sensation in my stomach. It puts me on edge.
I look forward to picking up "Death Unexpected"; it sounds like a good book.
I had an unexpected experience when a special boyfriend of mine passed away in front of me. He was excited about serving me a sandwich he made. He opened the refrigerator, looked at me, stepped back a bit, and said, "I can't breathe", and just like that, he died. I was so shocked that I froze up; I wouldn't say anything to anybody.
I want to encourage you to keep up with your writing. You would be a natural at writing a great mystery.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.
I have read your fantasy story "Crown of Thornes (Intro)", and excitedly, I will do a review for you. I am not a review professional, but I do my best. I give feedback on how I felt after reading your story.
I am impressed with your story. I enjoyed reading it. Your words flowed well. I didn't see any mistakes. You have a way with words. People can easily get into your story by eagerly wanting to read the next chapter.
I look forward to reading more of your story. I don't understand fantasy too well, but my interest was piqued. I watched the original versions of "Star Trek" and "Star Trek, The Next Generation". I can go back as far as watching "My Favorite Martian" and "Lost in Space". I enjoyed watching these shows as well.
I have had fantasies of wanting to go to space, but I wouldn't want to try it in real life since I am afraid of heights and the speed it takes to travel there. It's nice to dream about it though.
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. I'm sure teenagers would enjoy your story. You've done a great job presenting it.
I hope you will have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.
I read your monologue comedy version of "Angelina Ballerina" and am excited to give you a review. I am not a review professional, but I will do my best to provide feedback on how much it impacted me after reading your story; it piqued my curiosity and intrigue.
No, I haven't read the books or seen the movies about "Angeline Ballerina". Sounds like it's a good comedy. What do you enjoy most about the classic version? What parts, if any, did you like about the updated version? I know you mentioned liking the clothes she wore in the classic version. It would be interesting to learn more about her character. And, I would like to hear more about William's character. You said everyone had a crush on him. He must have had a time of it chasing all the girls away.
I look forward to hearing more about the characters in this monologue. If you have the time to share more, please do.
It's fascinating to go back to the past when things were a lot different; no phones, no television, different styles of clothing, and different hairdos. Comparing those times to modern times can be shocking to some of us, who consider us old-timers. I don't know if you would consider me as a 67-year-old to be an old-timer. They refer to the music of our age as the Golden Oldies. In the newer generation's minds, our music is outdated. I still enjoy the music of the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, etc. Current music that's been changed from the older version ruins the song, then, there have been those who have improved the older version.
Times have changed a lot since my generation. I called it the Feel Good Music era. Today it seems to all be about sex and violence.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last the rest of your life. Everyone deserves to have this.
I encourage you to keep up on your writing. I can use a good comedy.
I finished reading your story "In a Pickle" and it warmed and touched my heart. I am doing a review for you. I am not a review professional, but I am happy to give you feedback on how your story touched me.
Animals are special. Mia, I could tell, is very special to you. An animal is like having a child; they are part of your family. You love them with all your heart. Even though I didn't have any kids, I still get the same feeling with animals. The song "Peaceful Easy Feeling" by the Eagles reminds me of a peaceful time when I had animals. They gave me joy. When I needed it, animals gave me comfort; I felt at peace. I could talk to them and felt understood. I could understand them also. This was when I struggled with some hardships; things I was afraid to talk to anybody about. Things that made me have bad nightmares after seeing a horror movie. I could cry tears of sadness, but the animals made me feel safe; they wiped my tears away, making me less fearful. They understood why I was afraid. At the time, this was something you didn't talk about. I can feel the emotions you felt running through you when you couldn't find your cat. When I couldn't find my special animal, I was frantic. I didn't want to lose my best friend. Horses were my best friend. They are strong, gentle, loving, and the best confidant you could ever ask for. Your secrets are safe with them.
I was excited when Mia jumped into your arms. You had your beloved cat back. I can only imagine the relief you felt. I can see a big smile on your face. Joy and contentment filled your life again; restoration of gladness was indescribable.
I encourage you to keep up with your writing. Your story was inspirational. The bond between you was inseparable. Mia understood when you told her you couldn't go any further on the tree because it would have broken if you did. It thrills me to no end how your story ended.
I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.
I read your poem "The Girl with the Broken Smile", and will happily do a review for you. I am not a review professional, but I will do my best to give you feedback on how your poem left me feeling.
It's so true. I can relate to this on a personal basis. The emotions I felt during the struggles I've been through were overwhelming. I can sympathize with you for not wanting to smile. I understand completely. I used to smile quite a bit, but it's hard when I see people shouting and screaming on the streets. It makes me afraid to say anything. This is why I don't smile much anymore. I've been told I take things too seriously. I try to ignore this, but it's the truth. I don't mean to be this way, but, there are a lot of angry people in the world we live in. There's too much fighting going on with words and with violence.
I hope my smile will come back. I'm sure it will in time. It's brave of me when I go out to eat and see things happen that I don't understand. Writing keeps me feeling positive. Even when I go through hard times, writing helps me deal with things better when I can help other people cope. This makes me feel better.
I encourage you to keep on writing. I am mighty proud of you for taking the first step in sharing your feelings with the public. This is a huge accomplishment. It takes courage to do something like this. I am looking forward to reading more of your stories. You are doing a great job! When the timing is right for you, you will share your stories so people can hear what you're going through. I have faith in you. Your story helped and inspired me and it will inspire others too. Don't be afraid to reveal your name. It took a long time to do this myself, but I did it!
I hope you have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.
I have read your inspirational story "A Strange Place for Hope", and am ready to give you a review of how your story made me feel. I am not a review professional, but I can give you my best shot.
Yes. A cemetery is a strange place to go for inspiration. Everyone would think it's crazy to go to a place to get hope.
I visit both of my brothers, dad's, and mother's graves whenever I can. Usually, I am there with my sister and brother-in-law. The last two times I had my special boyfriend with us. My sister doesn't like my boyfriend. It seemed rather odd when we were there on Memorial Day of 2024. She acted very strangely. It was a short visit.
I go there to reflect on the happy times I shared with my mom and dad. My brother was retarded (they call it being developmentally disabled now), and the other one was eighteen months old when he passed away. I wasn't born yet. My sister is the oldest, the oldest brother was two years younger than her, and my other brother was two years younger than him, and I was the youngest (or baby) of the family. I talk to them about how things are now in the world and what they would think about what is happening with the world today. They never would've believed it. My dad was 36 years old and my mom was 18 years old when they were married. My dad was 56 years old and my mom was 39 years old when I was born. My sister was 18 when I was born. I was born the year after she graduated from high school.
It seems like I can feel their presence when I visit their graves. I believe my parents would've been disappointed in how badly my sister's behavior is towards me. I don't think she cared for any of my friends or boyfriends I've hung around with. It has been a long time now since they all passed. I miss them terribly, but I have good memories to fall back on with them. This is what gives me hope and inspiration.
I encourage you to keep on with your writing. I look forward to hearing more of your stories.
I hope you have many blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness during your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/annamc.poet/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.26 seconds at 10:28pm on Sep 07, 2024 via server web1.