Cat Voleur's (cat.voleur) Reviews

Review Requests: OFF

1,115 Public Reviews Given

1,116 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Versatile: I'm good at reviewing different types of writing in different ways. Honest: While I do my best to be honest and encouraging in reviews, I don't omit things. If I tell you I like something about a piece, you can trust that I'm not just saying it. All-Inclusive/Well-Rounded: I look for the good and bad in writing. I'll give you an overall opinion as well as the highlights and what needs worked on.

I'm good at...

Giving feedback within set parameters. If you're looking to receive opinions on something specific, let me know and that's what I'll focus on when giving a review.

Favorite Genres

Horror - all time favorite. Science Fiction and Fantasy are tied in a close second.

Least Favorite Genres

Romance. (Exceptions: Dark erotica intrigues me if it's, you know, dark.) I will happily read and review romance pieces, but I might be a little tougher on it than on other genres.

Favorite Item Types

Static Book/Collections.

Least Favorite Item Types

N/A

I will not review...

N/A I'll review anything. If for some reason you don't think I'll want to, feel free to email me with your concerns before submitting a request.

326

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4263062

Review of A Voice From The Tombs

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

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DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

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INTRODUCTION

Hello Floyd Roots

,

I stumbled across your story "A Voice From The Tombs"

in the review request thread and thought that I would drop by to offer my notes on it.

WHAT I LIKED:

Clever Premise:

I thought this was a cute story and overall, you did a good job setting up for a unique end.

Dropnote ▼

Good Character Development:

Another thing that I liked about the piece was that Ray seemed to be a well-rounded and well developed character considering the short nature of the story. Your writing made it easy to feel like the reader know's Ray at least to some extent, and he seems like a realistic enough sort of guy. That's all to the better, as it gets the reader a little more invested in the story than they might be otherwise.

MY SUGGESTIONS:

Description:

My first suggestion would be that you change the description.

Explanation ▼

Basic Editing:

This is something that I say a lot, and advice that I give in nearly every Writing.Com review - the more you edit a piece the better. Overall this was very clean, I didn't notice a ton of typos or misspelled words, but it never hurts to double and triple check. There are pieces I've had on my portfolio for years that I find new errors in every time I go back to look them over. Even if there aren't technical errors, there are usually a few things that could use smoothing over.

Examples ▼

Pacing:

Normally I'm all about more character depth and developing a rich setting for your story because it makes it more believable and gets the reader invested before the action starts. However in this case, I think there was a lot of content that didn't add a whole lot to the story. For shorter pieces like this it's sometimes better to leave out some of the details. There's a lot of details about Ray's job, the history of Ray's car, the exact difficulties he has with the car, etc. If this were a slightly longer piece or even a more serious horror story, that could all go a long way toward adding a believable atmosphere - but since this is intended to be a rather amusing tale, I'm not sure that all the details were necessary.

Even including the year I think was a bit much - but that's mostly personal preference. I prefer my comedic horror to have more of a timeless feel to it, which I feel like this would had you not opened the story by revealing the exact year and then reinforcing it with the dates on the graves.

Explanation:

My biggest issue was trying to figure out why Ray got so scared. He doesn't seem like the sort of man who is easily freaked out or prone to frights, but he runs away very quickly and I feel like the explanation offered wasn't quite satisfying.

Example ▼

CONCLUSION:

All in all it was a fun read and I'm glad to have come across it. There were a couple areas that I think could use improvement, but it was a cute idea and I think you're off to a great start with it. I hope that this review was at least a little helpful in giving you some of the feedback you were after.

All the best,

-Cat

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This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

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327

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14 days may be credited.

#4263057

Review of The Cinder's Eye

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

______________________________________________________________________

INTRODUCTION

Hello w0lfbane

,

I just finished reading "The Cinder's Eye"

and thought it was pretty good. Thank you so much for recommending I check it out, I've been having a lot of fun looking through that folder

So, now let us get into it.

WHAT I LIKED:

Style:

As always you have a very poetic style which compliments the piece quite well. Your excellent word choice makes the entire piece seem exceptionally deep, which is always something that I can appreciate from the poetry that I read.

Form

I liked the poetic form you used, as well as the you made a note about it at the end. Again, this is something that I really appreciate from your work because it allows me as an inexperienced poetry reviewer to have deeper insight into how you write your pieces and what the structural significance is.

Art

This third thing is probably another thing you get tired of hearing from me - but I like that you take the time to find art for your pieces. It gives people a really great impression going in and having a strong first impression definitely doesn't hurt. I think your poem speaks for itself (as it would in most other cases) but going that extra mile is something that really helps your work to stand out - and this is no exception.

MY SUGGESTIONS:

One Small Correction

The only thing I really noticed with this was a small grammatical error in the title (that repeats once in the poem, so I guess technically two small errors.) It's under the dropnote if you'd like to take a look.

Quick Fix ▼

That however should definitely be easy to fix, and it's a very small issue that in no way detracted from my enjoyment of this fine piece.

CONCLUSION:

All in all I thought it was a great piece. It's definitely up to the high standard that I have come to expect from your poetry - thank you so much for pointing it out to me. You always suggest great work from your portfolio that I inevitably come to enjoy greatly.

Hope to be reviewing more of your work soon,

-Cat

______________________________________________________________________

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

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______________________________________________________________________

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328

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14 days may be credited.

#4254358

Review of Rains Bow

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

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INTRODUCTION

Hello w0lfbane

It's been a long time. I don't think we've actually talked since the Game of Thrones event! I've been meaning to message you... I had agreed to do some reviews for you before I got swept away with duties for House Stark, but I can't remember what they were and I seem to have lost track of the email. In any case, I found this in the review request thread and was very excited to give it a read.

WHAT I LIKED:

Sentiment:

I usually prefer your darker works, but I do think it's wonderfully optimistic how you can devote such time to something as beautiful and simplistic as a rainbow in between your more philosophical pieces. It makes you a bit more unpredictable and enigmatic to me. I never know what you'll be writing about next.

Poetic Form:

You know about how much I know about poetry (which is basically nothing) so I don't know exactly what sort of poetic form you're using here - but it was interesting. It's not too far off from the usual stuff I find on your port, but the rhyme scheme in particular was very appealing to me. It was a nice change of pace and I enjoyed seeing it.

Image:

This is probably a bit off topic, but I thought it would be worth nothing how much I appreciate the time you put into personalizing each and every item that you have. The fact that you take the time to assign images to every piece you put out makes your portfolio something truly unique and beautiful. Your attention to detail has not gone unnoticed.

MY SUGGESTIONS:

Lack of Emotional Ties

Although I don't think that every single poem you do needs to be teeming with emotion (that would be unrealistic, honestly) I do prefer the ones that have stronger emotional ties. I'm not suggesting you change this poem, which is absolutely beautiful for what it is, but I don't think I'll ever like these pieces as much as I like the deeper and more personal ones with the stronger emotional investment - especially knowing how well you do poetry in that particular vein.

CONCLUSION:

All in all, I thought it was a great piece. Not my favorite, but I found no fault in it outside my own personal preferences. It was sweet and well-composed, and I'm glad to be doing a review for you again.

I hope that we're able to talk soon and that I can read some more of your darker poetry sometime in the near future. As always it has been a pleasure, and until next time I wish you all the best.

-Cat

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329

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14 days may be credited.

#4254349

Review of Shaman's Trance

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

______________________________________________________________________

INTRODUCTION

Hello xxx,

I just finished reading "Shaman's Trance"

and thought it was very interesting. I found it in the review request thread and thought that I would drop by to offer my thoughts.

WHAT I LIKED:

Concept:

I really liked the whole idea of this piece. The description made it sound a bit more menacing than the poem itself ended up being, but you still brought forth a lot of really interesting ideas, and it kept me interested the entire way through.

This was without a doubt my favorite line:

Excerpt: ▼

Pacing:

Like with the concept, I think you got the pacing just right. It was long enough to do justice to the premise, but not so long that it felt wandering at any point, and there was no time when I lost interest or slowed down.

Formatting:

One of the things that I liked best about this piece was without a doubt the formatting. It was a unique concept and that was reflected quite perfectly in the way that it was formatted. Centering small lines of text with large margins gave the reader the feeling that they were also floating in space, which of course perfectly ties into the themes in the poem.

I have to say that initially I found it a little off-putting that I had to scroll so far down before anything even started, but it quickly fell into place when I began reading, and I think it was worth the vague confusion when I started. I don't know if the formatting was intentional or not, but if so, it was genius.

MY SUGGESTIONS:

Punctuation

The one thing that bothered me a little bit (though, to be honest - I understand completely why you did it) was the following line:

Excerpt ▼

CONCLUSION:

All in all, I thought this was a great piece. It's not what I was expecting, but you did a good job with it and it's a piece I'm very glad to have read. I hope this review was at least a little helpful to you.

All the best,

-Cat

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______________________________________________________________________

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330

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14 days may be credited.

#4254281

Review of This humorous life

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.0)

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DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

______________________________________________________________________

INTRODUCTION

Hello phiolozoso17

I just finished reading "Invalid Item"

and thought it was pretty good. I found it in the review request thread so I thought I would drop by and give my notes on it. So let's get right in:

WHAT I LIKED:

Tone:

One thing that I liked about this one was that it was dark, which was pleasantly unexpected. It got pretty deep for something called "This humorous life" and was right up my alley. I have always been partial to darker things and cynicism though... but it was still a fun surprise for me.

Honesty:

My favorite thing about this piece (aside from the vague thing about using writing as a form of therapy to make yourself feel better...something I'm a big believer in) was that it seems like it comes from a very honest place. I feel like I got a little glimpse into your genuine, unfiltered thoughts as the writer. That formed a connection that is rare for me in poetry, and I liked it quite a bit.

I could see your point of view while I was reading and I could relate to you very much in the moment.

MY SUGGESTIONS:

Exclamation Points

I feel like I've been on the warpath for exclamation points lately.... I read a story awhile ago that had hundreds of them and ever since then I've been seeing them everywhere and it's hard to not say anything.

I don't think there are too many in this one exactly (I think there are only two) but they did stick out. I think because this is a poem they stuck out more. In poems I've found that the words tend to speak for themselves in regards to exclamation) and then both of them were right next to each other. They brought a lot of attention to that one specific part of the poem, and I felt like it was maybe too much attention.

Of course, that's just my personal observation, which again, it's an opinion. Feel free to ignore.

CONCLUSION:

To wrap this up, I liked it. I don't think it was a genius literary breakthrough or anything, but I think it's fantastic for what it is; which in my interpretation was just a little bit of light-hearted cynicism intended to reflect how you felt in one particular moment. It wasn't depressing, but neither was it overly gushy. I could relate to it and for me at least, that was the whole point. You did a great job with this, and based off of this I would be very interested in reading some of your other work to see what it's like.

All the best,

-Cat

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______________________________________________________________________

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331

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14 days may be credited.

#4248173

Review of The Fiddler's Ballad

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

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DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

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INTRODUCTION

Hello Howler of the Moon

I just finished reading "The Fiddler's Ballad"

and thought it was pretty good.

I'm so sorry that it took so long for me to get back to you. I read your ballad a couple days ago and I had a review ready, but I felt like it didn't cover the areas you were looking for feedback on well enough and I didn't get back to it in time, for which I apologize. Your review request is actually expired, so hopefully you've received the automatic refund of GPs, but I (obviously) am going to complete the review anyway because I said that I would. Hopefully getting it for free will in some small way make up for the delay.

Story Line:

One thing that you did ask me to cover in the review was the story, and oddly enough that was what I was going to open on anyway because it was my favorite aspect of the piece. The plot made it interesting, there was enough complexity and development to keep it moving forward and to keep the reader invested without it becoming convoluted or hard to follow, and the things you were saying fit well with the style that the piece is written in. I'd say you did a great job with the story.

The only thing that I would suggest tweaking a bit in regards to the story would be the ending - I felt like it ended on a vague note between the two lovers. I think clearing that up might make for a more dramatic and pronounced end.

Flow:

Flow was the other thing that you asked me to cover, so here we go. In terms of story flow and pacing, I don't think you could have done a better job. The story was told at an even rate and spread out evenly throughout the piece.

In terms of meter or the flow of each individual line, I think it could use a little more work. Reading it aloud the flow seemed (in my personal opinion) to be a bit choppy and uneven.

Additional Thoughts:

There is one small thing that I feel I should mention and leave for you to do with what you will. A lot of the language that was used in this poem to give it some rhythm and to flush it out is language that I think reads much better out loud than it does on the page. If this were a true ballad being sung words like "fiddledew fiddleyew" would fit in better than I feel like they do in poetry form being read. Of course, singing to your audience is something that you can't really do through this site, so I wouldn't be sure how to advise you in this, just know that I see this having more potential as a performance piece than as a poem.

CONCLUSION:

That about wraps it up. I did like the piece quite a bit and I think with a little bit of tweaking here and there it could work. I hope that this answered your questions about flow and storyline and helped give you the perspective you were looking for when submitting the request. I am sorry again I got this out so late. As always if you have any questions about anything I've said, let me know. I'm just an email away.

All the best,

-Cat

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______________________________________________________________________

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332

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14 days may be credited.

#4247338

Review of Hide and Seek

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello Ah, September!

,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

I liked this piece quite a bit. My favorite aspect was that so much of it focused on the children and their game because that had a lot of contrast to the darker ending. Keeping it light and innocent up until that point was the right call I think and it added a lot to the piece in my opinion. It also gave me, as a reader, a stronger sense of character development and a stronger emotional connection which of course was all for the better.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

The one thing that I think could use a little bit of work was the pacing. On the one hand, I think that taking it slowly helped a lot build up atmosphere for the piece and made he end a lot stronger, but on the other hand the story wasn't immediately engaging, and I didn't truly appreciate a lot of it until after I had completely the entire piece. It's not a huge issue, but I thought it would be worth mentioning.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To wrap this up I thought this was a strong piece. Although the beginning didn't immediately pull me in, it was a good story and I really appreciated it for the end. I'm glad to have read it. I hope I get to read some more of your stuff in the future.

All the best,
Cat

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333

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14 days may be credited.

#4247314

Review of Scales

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello Angus

,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

This was a great story! I'm a sucker for those last man standing in the face of some strange contagion, but this is by far one of the strangest and most unique ones I've ever read. I'm so glad I finally got around to it - it's been sitting on my list of things to read since I saw it in the newsletter a few months ago. I loved the pacing and the build up - fantastically well done.

Also, I'm not sure if this was an intentional nod to Velocity or not, but I really liked that one of your characters was named Lenny Olson.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

Again, I don't really have any suggestions for you. I think that this, though it probably could have been longer, was so well done considering the length. This is underst a thousand words and each one was brilliant - meaning that I'm not even going to suggest you flesh it out like I normally do.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To sum this review up, this was another amazing piece, one of my favorites for sure. You took a horror set-up that people use a lot and put your own, very unique spin on it. It was well executed and I'm looking forward to reading some more of your work shortly.

All the best,

Cat

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334

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14 days may be credited.

#4247293

Review of Just $29.95

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello Angus

,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

I wish I had seen that you were on our battle list a little sooner, because I do love reading your stories.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

The two things that I liked about this were the concept and the ambiguity. As always, your story was very unique and engaging right from the start which kept my eyes glued to the screen right to the end (well, that and I've read enough of your work that I trust you to make the ending awesome, which you did.) I also enjoyed that you didn't spend too much time spelling things out for the audience - it makes it a little bit more of a psychological piece and (in my opinion) made it scarier.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

All the things that I didn't enjoy as much about the piece are things you've heard from me before, and it's just my preference toward longer fiction. I would have liked the story more if you'd gotten more into things, if I felt more connected to the character, if it had moved slower, etc. You pretty much know my little rant about that by now lol. For flash fiction though, you did an amazing job.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To wrap this up, I thought this was another great story. I'm always very happy to read your work.

All the best,
Cat

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335

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14 days may be credited.

#4245040

Review of The Epitome of Objectivity

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello JACE

,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

I really liked a lot of what you said in this piece. It was interesting to hear about your initial experiences with Writing.Com, why you joined, how it's helped you, etc. I also really enjoyed that you outlined it's merits and the different tools is has to help writers who are just starting out and or wanting to improve their craft. It was entertaining and informative, which is all that I can really ask from an essay.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

The one thing that I would suggest for this (and it's something that I find myself very frequently suggesting for essays/articles lately) is that you make your objective in writing it a little more clear. This is of course, largely a personal preference as a reader, but I really prefer that all my nonfiction have a very distinct point. Although I enjoyed the piece quite a bit, I'm not entirely sure what your intention was in writing it, and that is something that I think could be improved upon.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

Aside from your objective being a bit unclear, I liked it quite a bit. You worked personal experience into an informative item and it made for an overall satisfying read.

All the best,
Cat

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336

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#4245038

Review of Thought Process (A woman on my mind)

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello The Milkman

,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

I can definitely see why this item is consistently rated so highly and why it was awarded with the wonderful ribbon that adorns it. I'm usually not one for romantic poetry, but I can absolutely see the merit in a piece as well written as this one, and I thought that the sentiment of it was incredibly sweet.

What I liked best about it (aside from perhaps the wonderful way that it's written) would be the way that you entwined romantic thoughts of this woman in with your every day routine, which added a realistic aspect to the poem for an additional layer of depth, making it all the easier to relate to. It also made it seem like thinking of her is the most natural thing in the world, which reflected the tone of the piece quite nicely in my opinion and made it more effective in a subtle manner.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

I really don't have any suggestions for you here, I think that it's perfectly fine the way it is

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To wrap this up, although it's not the sort of thing I would normally read, I think you did a great job with the poem. I always appreciate good writing, which this definitely is.

All the best,
Cat

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337

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14 days may be credited.

#4245021

Review of Black Spider

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello Purple Celebrating 25!

of House Greyjoy,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

As a 5'4" woman myself, I completely understand why you would still be afraid of a 1" spider.

I think it's safe to say that what I liked best about the piece was how easy I found it to relate to. Of course, it is a little different in my case (I'm actually allergic to spider bites, which is where my fear of them stems from) but I still very much understand.

Being asked to take care of something as small as a spider and then panicking over it is something I think a lot of people can probably empathize with, and the conversational tone in which this was written goes a long way to further that.

This was a short piece, but it was entertaining and something I think you did an awesome job with.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

I don't really have any suggestions for this. For a little piece of nonfiction flash-fic, I think it's perfect.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To wrap this up, it was a great piece, well done, and I totally agree with you about spiders being hard to move in a mental capacity if not a physical one. Just because something is small doesn't make it any less terrifying.

Keep up the great writing,

Cat

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338

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14 days may be credited.

#4245016

Review of The Inconsiderate of WDC

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello Angel In Training

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

It does seem a bit intimidating to be reviewing a piece like this that goes off about reviewers, but you were on my battle list and this was the item that first caught my eye on your portfolio, so here we go.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

What I liked best about the piece is that I related to it very well both in regards to the individual points being made (well, many of them anyway) and in intention. I know this was an angry rant specifically for a contest which makes it a little different, but I have often written long rants just to get something off my chest that has personally annoyed me. Reading through this took me back to times when I've had to vent here.

The angry tone of the piece and the angry language both convey your annoyance with the situation, and it makes for a good read that allows your audience to see exactly where you're coming from.

I also think it's worth mentioning how well you stayed on point. When I'm venting I get a lot more hysterical and go off on wildly unrelated tangents because that's how my brain works when I'm upset. I find that a lot of people (myself included) have trouble articulating their grievances when the annoyance is still that fresh. I have to write a long of apology blogs because when I feel passionately about something I'm not thinking and I say things that come off differently than intended. This is something that you did an amazing job with. Your points were described enough to give the reader the feeling that you were writing, but you didn't overdo it or lose your message.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

The one thing that I would suggest that I think would really tie this piece together would be a conclusion. I understand that rants don't always need to have conclusions because they're more for venting purposes, but they are something that I personally like to see, and in my opinion they add a lot to the piece by reigning the emotion back in and ending on a strong note. Without a conclusion this seemed to be more like a list of annoying types of people than a full blown rant. Of course, that's just how I perceived it and my personal views on the matter.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

Overall, I liked the piece quite a bit. You did a good job with the angry rant theme while still making it relatively entertaining for the audience and sticking to your theme. Even the specific points that I disagreed with were displayed in a way that I didn't feel the need to open up a debate with you about them, because the overall messages were all very easy to agree with. I'm glad that I stumbled across this, and I hope that you haven't gotten too irritated with my review.

All the best,

Cat

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#4244967

Review of Gaia

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello Geoff

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

The two things that struck me most about this piece were the style and the concept.

I liked the way that the story was written. Your phrasing was very poetic and your descriptions were very vivid - this piece did quite a bit to spark my imagination, which is always something that I greatly appreciate from the things that I read. Here was one line that I particularly liked:

Favorite Line ▼

I also quite enjoyed the concept of taking something mundane, and turning into a spiritual experience so deep that it was almost romantic in a way. It's easy for the reader to relate to in some ways, and makes them almost jealous in others. Very well done.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

The one thing that could be said about this piece (and I think this is something that boils down largely to preference) is that it's very slow-moving. The story crawls along very slowly. On the one hand, that did allow you to include so much of the wonderful introspection and poetic phrasing that drew me to the piece in the first place, but on the other hand, the item was fairly long for what it was. I like it as it is, but I think I also would have liked it if it were trimmed down a bit.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To sum this up, I thought it was a pretty great piece. Although it was slow moving, the beautiful imagery and philosophical aspect kept me going all the way to the end of this beautiful item. Thank you so much for sharing.

All the best,

Cat

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#4236831

Review of A Final Meeting

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello werden

,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

I liked the sentiment that you wrote about in this piece. I've noticed that Alzheimer's has been a rather popular fiction topic lately, and this is definitely one of the better stories I've read that discusses it. It's a serious topic and overall I think you did a great job covering it.

I also liked your main character, I thought there was just the right amount of character development and you did a really great job with that.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

I do have two quick suggestions.

The first is that you slow the conversation down a little. My grandmother suffers from Alzheimer's disease and although the conversations with her cycle back around and the mistaken identities are a very real concern - lucid moments are seldom as abrupt as they read in this story.

The other thing is the following section:

Excerpt ▼

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

Aside from a couple small things I thought the piece was excellent. The characters were likable, easy to relate to, the story was well paced and you did a good job incorporating the emotional element into your story. Awesome job!

All the best,
Cat

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#4236830

Review of That suits me

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (3.0)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello WakeUpAndLive

,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

This was definitely interesting. You chose a topic that not a lot of people would normally consider writing about it and turned it into a very one of a kind poem that did have a certain visual appeal to it. I also like that you've gone and found an image for your item, there are not a lot of people who take the time to do that for poems - so great job on attention to detail as well.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

I do have a couple suggestions for you.

Breaking up a thought mid line is something that a lot of poets do to make the poem more aesthetically pleasing, to hit syllable requirements, etc. I personally don't like reading poetry that way because it breaks up the flow, but I do understand it to an extent. Breaking up a complete thought across multiple paragraphs however is a little much. I read the first stanza multiple times trying to make sense of it before I realized it was continued in the next stanza.

The other thing that I would strongly consider is elaborating a bit in the note you left at the bottom. For the poetically challenged readers such as myself, I appreciate that you took the time to make a note about the poem, but I wasn't quite sure what the note meant.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To wrap this up, I thought this was an interesting piece, though it could use some polishing. I hope that my remarks weren't discouraging, because I think you should definitely keep working, both on this and on other pieces as well. Hopefully I'll get to read some more of your work some day.

All the best,
Cat

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#4236245

Review of ~Greetings from a Gruesome Gargoyle~

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello WW is Monk WDC's 25! CopShop

of The White Walkers,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

This was such an adorable story. It was very short, but you made every word an enjoyable one. It was an interesting take on gargoyles and I loved the perspective it was told in - as well as the voice you gave to the gargoyle, which was incredibly entertaining all the way through.

My favorite line however was without a doubt the following:

Excerpt ▼

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

Really the only thing that I would have liked to see that I didn't would be the specifications for the contest you entered it into. I always like knowing what sort of parameters writers are working with when they write a piece for a specific contest or event.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

So other than being curious about what the prompt/guidelines that inspired the story were, I thought it was great. It was a short read, but a wonderful one. I'm very glad to have read it.

All the best,
Cat

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#4236243

Review of ~A Thanksgiving Story~

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello WW is Monk WDC's 25! CopShop

of The White Walkers,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

This is without a doubt one of the more entertaining nonfiction pieces I've written on the site. A lot of writers (and this absolutely includes myself) have trouble making nonfiction something that will appeal to an audience, but you did a wonderful job. The conversational tone and casual voice that you used to write the story made it feel almost like you were having a conversation with the reader and telling them a story in person. It was amusing, and it was easy enough to relate to - since I'm sure most people have had some sort of crazy holiday mishap at some point or another.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

The one thing that I would have liked to see was a little more elaboration, and perhaps a little more context. You gave enough for the reader to get the idea of the setting and everything, but I remember thinking to myself on a couple instances that I'd be interested to have a couple more details about your life and the events surrounding the story. I think a little more info would have really sold the conversational style of the piece.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To wrap up the review, I really liked the story. Again, it's not the best thing I've read from you, but it is one of the best holiday stories I've ever read in the nonfiction genre and as always, I've had a blast talking about it.

All the best,
Cat

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#4236242

Review of The Not So Calm Before the Storm

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello WW is Monk WDC's 25! CopShop

of The White Walkers,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

I thought this was a very cute concept. Crazy cats that only like their human are always fun to read about, but the isolation created by the storm makes unfriendly felines seem a little bit more threatening than they might be normally.

In addition to that I really liked the set up. You did a good job including enough details to give a sense of depth, but you didn't overload the readers with too much information. Overall I thought it was paced pretty well.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

The one thing that I didn't really like about this story was its structure. If you just look at the first line and the last line, they give you too very different impressions of when the narrator is, you know, narrating the story. The last line left me sort of confused as to the point of the story and perspective it's told in. It's not a huge deal or anything, but in my personal opinion it wasn't the best line for you to have ended on.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

Aside from the last line and structure that I mentioned, I thought the story was very entertaining. It was a fun read and even though it wasn't my favorite piece on your portfolio, it was still exceptional.

All the best,
Cat

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345

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14 days may be credited.

#4236238

Review of Final Goodbye

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello WW is Monk WDC's 25! CopShop

of The White Walkers,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

This has without a doubt been my favorite of the things on your portfolio so far. It was very sad, but it was also very worth it.

It was touching - there were such deep emotions that you were able to concisely yet effectively illustrate, evoking the same sense of loss in your readers as your characters.

The piece was well paced, well-structured and as far as I could tell, flawless from a technical standpoint.

It also comes across as very honest for a work of fiction. Your characters are believable, they react realistically, and it is all too easy to believe that this could be a real story based off of real people.

You seriously did outstandingly well with this story.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

I honestly don't have any suggestions. This piece is perfect the way that it is and if I were you I wouldn't change a single word.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To wrap up all my ramblings here for this piece - it was wonderful. I was incredibly impressed to find a couple that I believed in so much and felt so strongly for. I'm usually not a romance person, but this was a fantastic love story. Thank you so much for sharing it.

All the best,
Cat

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14 days may be credited.

#4236236

Review of One Long Day in Chicago

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello WW is Monk WDC's 25! CopShop

of The White Walkers ,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

I really liked that this one was told in the third person. There's a good chance I'm reading too much into your style choices (and please forgive me if I'm overstepping or assuming too much) but I feel like I understood the sense in writing detective stories in the first person HOWEVER, I think I liked the story better in the third person. That's just a personal reading preference I suppose, and it's not a big deal, but you did a great job with it, the style was fantastic, and the descriptions were on point. Fantastic job.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

My one suggestion would be to move the Author's Note up to the top. I know a lot of authors prefer to have their notes at the bottom, but that note is all information that I for one would have liked to have going into the story. All of the things I disliked about this and was planning on bringing up in my review are things that are addressed in the note. I was going to tell you I thought this one felt rushed in comparison to the others, that it's weird to have only one be written in the third person, and that I thought it was too short. But of course, those are all because this isn't a standard part of the series - it's a contest entry about the same characters.

I enjoyed it anyway, but I think I would have liked it better had all my complaints been addressed going in instead of explained after, you know?

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To wrap this all up, I thought this was another great piece. Overall I don't like it as much as the other Lou Ryan shorts you've shared on your portfolio, but it's still a wonderful showcase of your amazing writing skills.

I am sad that I'm done with this folder, but I'm looking forward to reading some more of your other stuff.

All the best,
Cat

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#4236232

Review of No Appointment Necessary

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello WW is Monk WDC's 25! CopShop

of The White Walkers,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

I can't believe I only have one more of these to read after this! They've been going by so quickly. Anyway, onto the review:

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

One thing that I liked about this installation of Lou Ryan's story was that it read a little smoother than the last one overall. I think this is because the dialogue was worked into the story a little more. There seemed to be a better balance between action and dialogue and they didn't seem to be split up into sections quite as much. Not only did it flow better but you kept up the amazing high standard of each that make these stories so entertaining.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

I do have a couple quick suggestions for this one.

The first is that you go back and format it. I didn't notice any grammatical errors or anything that needs immediate attention, but it does look like a couple of the paragraphs are spaced differently than others, and there's a huge blank space at the end of the story.

I also feel like the word "dame" is getting used a lot. I know it's a word that was in common usage back then, but it felt like overkill here. (Of course, maybe that's also just from me reading these three stories back to back.)

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To wrap this up, I liked this story. I think I liked it better than the second one, but still not as much as the first. Regardless, this has been wonderful to read and I can't believe how quickly I've gotten invested in your character. I'll be sad to read the last one, but that's what I'm about to go do.

All the best,
Cat

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348

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#4236227

Review of "I Hate Early Morning Visitors"

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello WW is Monk WDC's 25! CopShop

of The White Walkers,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

After enjoying the last installation so much I thought I would just keep reading through the folder. So, let's get to the review:

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

The dialogue was very fitting for the time period and the setting, which offered a very enjoyable bit of continuity. I think it's also worth noting that you have some exceptional atmosphere - though I would have preferred to see a bit more of it in this particular story. Still, these are two very important elements that you carried over perfectly from the first story and which I enjoyed in this one.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

The main suggestion that I would make is that you go back and add some more action into some of the scenes. This story is very dialogue heavy, both in comparison to the first installation and on it's own. Although the dialogue was exceptional and furthered your plot, your setting/atmosphere is one of the strongest elements, and I think it's important to keep working that in, even in long conversations between characters.

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To wrap this up, I enjoyed it. I think the first story was better, but this is also very solid. The characters are still entertaining, you stayed true to the story, and it made for a good read. I'm glad that I get to keep reading these.

All the best,
Cat

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14 days may be credited.

#4236225

Review of One Busy Night in Chicago

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello WW is Monk WDC's 25! CopShop

of The White Walkers,

This anniversary review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

I will start by saying that I don't read a lot of this sort of thing, so I don't have a lot to compare it to. There were a lot of things to enjoy about the piece though, even for someone who doesn't normally read about private detectives.

You did a great job creating an atmosphere that was appropriate for the characters and that has the reader feeling like they're actually back in the 1930's, I was very impressed by how well you did in that regard.

The story itself was also very good. It was entertaining, I didn't notice any glaring plotholes, and it did a good job wrapping up just enough to be satisfying.

It's also worth mentioning that I loved the layout - especially in addition to that amazing cover. It looks very professional and I was very impressed straight away. It's one of the nicest looking items on the site I think.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

The only concrete suggestion that I have for you would be to consider rewriting the opening line:

Example ▼

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

Aside from the one line that I mentioned, I liked the story quite a bit. It's not a genre that I have a lot of experience with, but you did an excellent job making it entertaining for anyone who should happen to stumble across it.

You can expect some more reviews coming in from me shortly.

All the best,
Cat

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#4235763

Review of In My World

Review by Cat Voleur

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

DISCLAIMER

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.

A RAVEN FROM THE NORTH: AN INTRODUCTION:

Hello mARi😭DiagnosedDepression

,

This ally battle review is written on behalf of House Stark for "Game of Thrones"

.

THE NORTH REMEMBERS: WHAT I LIKED:

I liked the emotion from this one a lot. It included a lot of very strong feelings which I think you did a good job expressing without going overboard. It was also very poetically phrased - which is of course ideal for a poem. You did a good job with that.

DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS:SUGGESTIONS:

The one thing that I would recommend is going through and breaking up your lines so that they make complete sentences - at least in some cases. I understand that it won't look as nice, but there were a couple lines that read awkwardly to me because a new line started at a strange time. Since it's free verse poetry, you have the liberty of not making it look as structured and that's maybe something you should explore.

EXAMPLE ▼

WINTER IS COMING: A CONCLUSION:

To wrap this all up, I was a little bothered by the format, but the words themselves were great. Of course even the formatting is just a matter of personal preference, I just thought it interfered with the flow of the piece. It did look very nice and I can understand why you broke it up that way.

In any case, I hope this gave you a fresh perspective at the very least. I had a good time reading it.

All the best,
Cat

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