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Review of Rainy Days  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi H, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Rainy Days" Open in new Window. by H

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A short yet deep poem that that clearly makes it's point. Those few entertaining words are put together just right to show what it feels like to be used.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a kid in a raincoat splashing around in a mud puddle with no regard to the world around them.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I can find with the grammar spelling on mechanics of this delightful poem.

H, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.


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277
277
Review of Why Not Me?  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi D.B. I came across this work while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Why Not Me?" Open in new Window. by D.B.

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A powerful story emphasizing how human nature and music could be connected.
Indeed it is funny how the de ja vu affect hits us at different times in our lives with effects that are just beyond our understanding.


Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see a different realm of a timeless reality where the dream world and the real world merge together. Everyone is connected in some way yet when awakened they have only a vague recollection that is usually revealed by a mysterious life event.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I can find with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this deep entertaining work that has sent a mind to philosophizing.

D.B., thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
278
278
Review of Lost Gold  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi again Jacky, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Lost Gold" Open in new Window. by Jacky

Clarity: A great title for this entertaining tale.

Writing style:Biographical contest entry drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Only two are listed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The format and structure are easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialogue does seem appropriate.

My favorite line:--- As I read the passage in the book, underlined, obviously studied many times, I thought otherwise. He was looking for the gold. ---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: This folktale was well written with great descriptions in a realistic tone. This helps the reader to relate to this classic tale.

Written in an orderly well told fashion short simple straight to the point just the way the modern reader seems to like it.

Jacky, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: Write on! Keep writing.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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279
279
Review of whisper  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Sunny side up, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"whisper" Open in new Window. by Sunny side up

Clarity:An interesting title.

Writing style:Advice for the young drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Only two are listed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A good structure that is easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialogue does seem to be specific to its speaker.

My favorite line: ---i wished to tell her that she's more than her awards. that she is not what people expects her to be.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A well written article giving advice to the young.

Great advice well worded and formatted. Not sure about the absence of normal capitalization.

Great advice this tale reads much like a poem. This holds the reader's attention better.

Sunny side up, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: A good proofread and edit never hurts maybe consider the standard use of capitalization.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
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280
280
Review of Lemon Drops  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi KingSideCastle, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Lemon Drops" Open in new Window. by KingSideCastle

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A nice rhyming pattern that helps give this entertaining poem it's tone and overall good flow

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a kid in a candy store happy as can be.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: no problems that I can find with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this delightful poem.

KingSideCastle, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
281
281
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi jackiemuse, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Old Man Iverson WC: 296" Open in new Window. by jackiemuse

Clarity: The title describes the story well.

Writing style: Biographical contest entry drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Only two are listed, even though a contest entry by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A good structure that does make it easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialogue indeed does seem to be specific to its speaker.

My favorite line:--- “Where do you think you are going, boy?” Mr. Iverson stood atop the six-foot wall. He was holding the ball. “You owe me one!”---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A very well written tale that reads much like a true story this helps to grab the readers attention and hold it well throughout the story.

The last line is actually my favorite. A good ending.

jackiemuse, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: Write on!

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
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282
282
Review of Winter's Colors  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Jace, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Winter's Colors" Open in new Window. by Jace

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A good example of a Septolet poem.

The Septolet is a poem consisting of seven lines containing fourteen words with a break in between the two parts. Both parts deal with the same thought and create a picture.

I do love poetry and realize that short poems can express beautiful work in a few words. However fourteen words seems to be the bare minimal. Is it really just too short?

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of the leaves while changing color in the fall on the beautiful mountains.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I see with his spelling grammar or mechanics of these 14 words.

Jace, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
283
283
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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Hi PureSciFi, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Everyone Was Going Mad About Science" Open in new Window. by PureSciFi

Clarity:An interesting title for this sci-fi tale.

Writing style:Sci-fi mystery drama.

Are all 3 genres listed? Yes, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure is easy for the reader however it comes out a bit odd on my computer.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialog does indeed seem to be specific to it's speaker.

My favorite line:---. after it exploded red rain droplets rained
down on the Yantians outside of buildings and buildings too.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: Seems to be a well written and described sci-fi adventure. A nice structure with large font as I like however it reads to formatted on my computer, which could be my bad.

This seems to be a well written tale however without reading the 1st parts it's a little hard for the reader to digest.

A good bit of character as well as world building that no doubt can be used if needed in future works. Great character descriptions as well as settings that helps the reader to picture the scene.

PureSciFi, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: A good proof read and edits never hurts.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
284
284
Review of To My Door .I.  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi Joy, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "To My Door .I." Open in new Window. by Joy

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A delightfully written self help style free verse poem that ask several questions with poetical responses.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:I I see the image of a poet writing and turning several of life's questions into poetic responses while putting it on paper.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems at all that I see with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this entertaining poem.

Joy, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
285
285
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Serena Blade, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Tonight, I think of you " Open in new Window. by Serena Blade

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A romance style poem questioning the motive of a friend that has gotten lost.

To put it in writing often is the best way to put someone or sometime behind us, especially for those of us that love to write. Closure is an emotional state that seems to be needed by human nature. No doubt the best practice for those gifted ones that can put it on paper, as this work proves.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a soul searching for closure from a brief relationship that ending in mystery.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this entertaining work.

Serena Blade, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
286
286
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Chico Mahalo, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"a man running in orange county" Open in new Window. by Chico Mahalo

Clarity:A good title however the use of capitol letters in the normal format would give a more professional appearance.

Writing style:Biographical creative drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Only one listed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure is easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialogue does seem to be specific to its speaker.

My favorite line:---Awaiting our arrival to our destinations, our Point B's.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A good opening line that gets the readers attention and makes them want to know more.

We are all writers. The patients and discipline of the writing process is what I personally find the hardest.
Well of course the actual hardest thing is to first get it on paper.

Then after reading and editing over and over so much that often we get committed to the work and we don't wanna change much. We get so used to it that it just seems right.

Personally I find that putting it to the side and not looking at it for a while is the best practice. It seems that with a bit of time then look at it with a new perspective. Often this helps to put it in to the words that we expect the modern reader to want.

This seems like a good narrative with a lot of well written detail but yet in a first draft style. No doubt one of the hardest things I personally find is the he said she said dialog wording. Using different forms of the words to keep the story from sounding repetitive. Consider synonyms for said, for example replied, whispered, declared, uttered, muttered, told, stated, shared...

It sounds so unimportant yet is one of the most difficult tasks that gives the work it's tone and flow to make it appear so much more professional. A good habit that most writers practice for a more enjoyable sounding flow.

Chico I like this tale that has got me to rambling a bit. I hope you find this feedback helpful.



Chico Mahalo, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:A good proofread and edit experimenting with some of the suggestions above.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
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287
287
Review of Angel and Demon  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi BlackAdder, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Angel and Demon" Open in new Window. by BlackAdder

Clarity:A powerful title that gabs the readers attention.

Writing style: Fantasy mythological drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Only two are listed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? A good format and structure that is somewhat easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialogue does indeed seem to be specific to its speaker.

My favorite line:--- Michael was an impossible man, only seventeen years of age, but with the wisdom of decades.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: Seems to be very well written and described. I see that it was written a while back and assume your decisions have already been made. I would assume that you used a lot of this in your final work as it is a well described narrative that introduces characters while describing settings. All helping the reader to get into the storyline.

Strong characters that helps the reader to relate them. A great job of world building. This makes the reader want to know more and turn the page.

BlackAdder, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: A good edit and proofread never hurts, consider shortening some of the longer paragraphs into shorter ones and maybe a larger font with a bit more line spacing to make it more inviting to a browser and easier to read for those of us with weak eyes.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
288
288
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hi Rick Fix, thanks for the review request.

I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Speaking of Avocados" Open in new Window. by Rick Fix

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A entertaining and delightful free verse poem. A good idea for the first line that takes the focus away from the main theme. This begins the reader to thinking which helps to better get into the over all tone of the poem.

A realistic flow that aids in keeping the readers attention.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of two soul mates with their life paths coming closer together without their knowledge of the inevitable outcome.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems with the spelling grammar or mechanics of this poem as poetry can make it's own rules when it comes to the format.

Rick Fix, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
289
289
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Hi again W.D.Wilcox, Happy WDC anniversary!

I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Under A Disfigured Moon" Open in new Window. by W.D.Wilcox

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A deep emotion filled poem with a random rhyming pattern that aids the tone as well as over all flow. A dark scary poem with dark emotions reaching out to grab the reader.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a dark world with a mysterious disfigured moon lighting the night for the dark forces and dogs to roam free devouring what so ever they wish.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems at all that I can find with the spelling grammar or mechanics of this classic poem.

W.D.Wilcox, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
290
290
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hi Carol St.Ann, Happy WDC Anniversary!

I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"April Eighteenth, Nineteen Hundred & Six" Open in new Window. by Carol St.Ann

Clarity: A great title for this entertaining tale.

Writing style:Family birthday drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A nice structure that is easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog does seem to be specific to it's speaker.

My favorite lines:---"I'm not a bit sleepy. And I don't want to miss a minute of my birthday. Come on, get up."---

--- It was as though an autumn fog devoid of water had sat itself down on top of the city and refused to move.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A good use of the prompt in this simple yet delightful birthday tale.

Well written with a strong believable character and great descriptions that take the reader into the story with Cora.

This story reads like a true story making it very easy for the reader to relate to it while holding the reader's attention good from start to finish.

Carol St.Ann, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: I have no suggestions for this delightful tale.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
291
291
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi ThatGuyWithThisPenName, Happy WDC Anniversary!

I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "From the Sun's Point of View" Open in new Window. by ThatGuyWithThisPenName

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A great idea for this simple, delightful and most entertaining poem.

A well worded and laid out poem with a random rhyming scheme and an overall great flow.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of an alternate world where the planets and celestial bodies can speak. The sun is expressing delight in the planet called Earth.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems at all that I can find with the spelling grammar or mechanics of this delightful work.

ThatGuyWithThisPenName, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
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Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
292
292
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi tj ~ HiLo Silver - Away! I came across this story while random reviewing.

Happy WDC anniversary!

I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"How Pumpkin Spice Came to Be" Open in new Window. by tj ~ HiLo Silver - Away!

Clarity:A great title that grabs the readers attention.

Writing style:Holiday cooking drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A great structure that helps the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialog is appropriate to it's speaker.

My favorite line:---I had plenty of wood on hand but none split, so it took me a little over a half an hour to get the wood carried in.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: I like this entertaining tale that reads like a true story. Lots of people including me love true stories, they make it easy to relate and they are among my favorite.

This well written and well described tale holds this reader's attention well. Thank you for sharing this entertaining tale.

tj ~ HiLo Silver - Away!, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: Keep writing :)

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
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293
293
Review of The Basement  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi again Sumojo, Happy WDC anniversary! I always love your work.

I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "The Basement " Open in new Window. by Sumojo,

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: When I am random reviewing and come across work by Sumojo I am always thrilled because I know I'm in for a delight, thank you.

Often times it is those simple works about simple things that turn out to be the best unbiased, honest and entertaining items.

The title attracted me to this splendid poem. An original rhyming scheme that adds to the tone and overall flow.

A great use of the prompt.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a soul having a disturbing dream about a typical damp, dark basement.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems at all that I see with the spelling grammar on mechanics of this delightful poem.

Sumojo, thank you for sharing your poem.

Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.


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294
294
Review of Today  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Lizzie, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Today" Open in new Window. by Lizzie

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A well written poem emphasizing patience that is needed while waiting to meet your soulmate.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:I see the image of two soul mates navigating through time while waiting for their paths to meet.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:No problems that I can find with the spelling grammar or mechanics of this deep poem.

Lizzie, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
295
295
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi yojina, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "The Sun That Shines for the Moon" Open in new Window. by yojina

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A beautiful tale of forbidden love that is so strong that it is known by only those who share the unspoken secret.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:I see two souls that long for each other against extraordinary circumstances, yet accept the realization that time has dictated for the moment.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this strong and delightful poem.

yojina, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
296
296
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi George A Hopkins, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"In the Shadow Of the Hills" Open in new Window. by George A Hopkins

Clarity:A good title for this tale.

Writing style:Folklore war drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A good structure that is easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog does seem specific to it's speaker.

My favorite line:---In that moment, it was as if he and the celestial bodies were one, entwined in a dance of light and shadow, stretching across the vast expanse of space---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A well written tale with strong character and good descriptions. This helps the reader to relate to the character and picture the setting.

A great job with the descriptions of the character. This helps the reader to feel as if they are getting into Oliver's mind.

A mysterious ending that leaves the readers imagination working while wanting to turn the page to learn more.


George A Hopkins, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Consider experimenting with a stronger title, this will help catch the attention of browsers or potential readers.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
297
297
Review of The Watcher  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi rainyplot366, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "The Watcher" Open in new Window. by rainyplot366

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A well written tale emphasizing the art of watching and observing others.
This entertaining tale is very informative.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of an elder in a different dimension watching and observing the lives of people on earth while writing his book.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I see with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this entertaining tale.

rainyplot366, thank you for sharing your poem.

Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
298
298
Review of Pinky  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~

Hi Beholden, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Pinky" Open in new Window. by Beholden

Clarity:A good title for this tale, however it could better describe the content of the story.

Writing style:Horror fantasy drama.

Are all 3 genres listed? Yes, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A good structure that does make it easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? Good dialogue that does seem to be specific to its speaker.

My favorite line:--- Arabella realised, without surprise, that the spirit of her grandmother had fled, in those few seconds while she examined the box.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A well written tale with great descriptions that help take the reader into the story.

Strong characters that are well described. This helps the reader to get into the story.

Well told story in an entertaining manner. This helps hold the readers attention.

Beholden, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: A good proofread and edit never hurts especially after not reading the work for some time.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
299
299
Review of Him and I  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~


Hi Ambience24, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Him and I " Open in new Window. by Ambience24

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A well worded short and entertaining poem. This poem expresses a lot in its short 8 lines.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of two souls lost in the river of time where the current occasionally brings them closer together yet they are unable to connect.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems at all that I can find with the spelling grammar or mechanics of this delightful poem.

Ambience24, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
300
300
Review of Chapter 8  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~

Hi Davejesi, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Chapter 8" Open in new Window. by Davejesi

Clarity:The title could better describe the contents of this chapter. Consider Lovely and Deadly instead of Chapter 8.

Writing style: Fantasy folklore drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure and format are fairly easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog does seem specific to it's speaker.

My favorite line:---I AM SO f***ED UP---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:An interesting tale with strong characters as well as good descriptions. This helps the reader to get into the story better.

Reads much like a first draft, consider a good proofread and edit to shorten some of the longer sentences. Starting a new paragraph when the speaker changes helps the reader to follow the story-line easier.

A lot of good stuff in this entertaining tale.



Davejesi, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: Consider a good proofread and edit to correct typos and punctuation errors. Shorten the longer sentences as well as the longer paragraphs to make it appear more inviting to readers and browsers or potential readers.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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