This was a good, solid story. It gives us a character we can asociate with and wish to see what is going on with him and delivers a strong climax. The emotional connection isn't fully there, but held well enough that we get the sense of this piece. The post script was delivered well. It leaves the reader with a view of the friendship between these two that we really didn't see early on in the story. Overall, it was well written and delivers a ending most of us are aware of. Good work.
Suggestions/Corrections
1) "All I could think to do was (pore) him a glass of water" This should be pour.
Wow, this piece really touches on a very sensitive subject in our modern world. Great to stand up for such things and equally great that the author admits it would have been, more than likely, to his physical beating maybe. That means more when such things are done with the knowledge that you will probably be on the losing end of a physical confrontation. Most impressive. This is something most of us have seen in one form or another and can associate with. Great setting, we are aware of the surroundings, the environment is there for us to see. I would have liked the author's thoughts on the two friends, why were they so opposed, even if just in theory. I would have also liked to have seen a possible reason for the woman's end reaction. Was it possibly swayed by friends, low self esteem issues, or just fear of losing a provider for some reason.
This is an absolutely great collection of word searches. This author built this folder to house his creations and has filled it quite nicely. I appreciated the variety of things in here, though mainly music and movies, and looked through every one of these items. I chose to rate the folder over each individual piece though.
My favorires: "GREAT INVENTORS, SCIENTISTS AND ARTISTS", "MY FAVORITE MOVIE TITLES", "The 1960's", and "STALAG 17".
What I didn't like: The three times I ran through the 1960's one, I never saw the 'Amazing Mets', but you had the Yankees in it. I love baseball and that 69 team stood out more than all others during that decade. I realize that the word search resets and reformulates each time, so maybe you have it in there and it didn't come up.
I definitely recommend this folder to anyone enjoying word searches. This was a great place to stop in and get your fill. Very well done.
This is a very nicely put together poem. The poem delivers the makeup of a writer and does so very well. The author defines the writing drive in a clear way that all of us on WDC can associate with.
Overall: The poem delivers the authors thoughts in good lines that make up some very precise verses. It gives both a writer's actions and thoughts, mixing them in this to show us who a writer is. The use of "The writers ply their trade" at the end of each verse keeps the reason of the poem fresh in a reader's mind. This has a good rhythm that holds up and has an easy flow. I was pulled along through this as it moved forward and came across nothing that kicked me from my read. Good job. Anyone looking to see an author's idea of what it is to be a writer should stop in and take a look at this.
I am rating this folder as all files that stand up to there description should be rated. The material may not all be perfect, but when a file delivers what it promises, it is a wonderful thing. I can recommend this folder to anyone wanting to get a good look at this author's ideas toward fantasy. It has some goddess descriptions, story and prose, and even a piece in reference to dragons. Overall, this folder holds up really well and I would invite all those on WDC with a fantasy interest to stop in and read a few things, maybe leave a few reviews. This folder will be well worth the time.
Excellent. I really enjoyed the use of the other goddesses and think the development of your story went farther that what occured in the first chapter. I connected and was enjoying this as I read through it.
Overall: This is well written. The story develops from the first part and sets several characters into motion. The wedding thing was a nice drive. The characters get the crisis and the author weaves a nice fantasy tell. I was happy to have stopped in and read throiugh this. The message of "love changing everything" is wonderful.
Great title for this story, though I did not get it until this ended. The imagery is wonderful in this, allowing the reader to get their own ideas of what is here. The author does a good job in directing this from something filled with uncertainty to a story that reveals nature's wonder. The familiarity with the oak tree in the beginning registers nicely after the story was over and I got it. This is a well written piece that I will recommend to any on WDC wanting to get a good read of something that takes a different look at things. Good misdirection on the author's part made this well worth the time. Though I enjoyed what I read, I didn't find myself eagerly puching forward. I think this needs something in its makeup to have a stronger pull. I wanted to know what was happening, just wasn't in a rush to discover the truth.
The poem has some real, clean thought put into it. It reads as a what if, but seems to be hoping for this idea of love; needing it. The lines are strong, giving the reader a list of things that have real meaning in a relationship. The poem flows nicely, but staggers in a few spots with the general rhythm. The author's feelings come through and have such a soft sense to them.
This thought on relationships delivers a very strong argument in this author's favor. I do not agree with everything, but my opinion has been swayed somewhat after reading this. I like the incorporation as to how relationships actually work as a key ingredient to this piece. the vast array of percentages that actually occur in any given relationship makes a clear statement for this belief. The writing was well handled and the work read rather well. There wasn't any confusion or wide ranging thoughts that in any way made this idea stumble.
Interesting and fun. I do remember however that you directed your son to use the correct term for the "who-ha" and then you failed to do so. Anyway, this was a funny read. I clap for the embarassment of people dressed like trhat, a personal opinion, and I am surprised that you did not think first of correcting his speech when he notes that he would be the smartest in your English class in such an unenglish manner. You seemed to hold up well and I found this story to be very entertaining. The thought of pants dropping in school and the great who-ha escape makes me laugh. Not to mention the description we get from the teacher who witnessed the event.
This has a warm feel to it. I especially enjoyed the glow worm part. The piece is well written, but seems to be mostly surface material. I think this is a story where physical description, deep physical description, of these three little girls would deliver them better to the reader. We get that there are some problems, but I was actually unable to make any connection with them. I would have loved to have their images in my thoughts. The author did well in making this feel so honest and set it up very well. Again, I was unable to fully connect with the girls and I really think I needed to.
This was a very uplifting piece.It touches on loss and delivers the satisfaction of something presented to a mother that makes everything shine. The ring was nice, but the fact that her son shows the compassion of loving child is emotional. I would have liked this to have dug a little deeper, but I completely get the sense of this. It is well written and ends with a satisfying smile from any reader. good work.
Wow! I was impressed with this. The psychology involved in this is well used. I found the balances between image, perception, and thought so disturbing. As individuals, we see and somethimes experience these things ourselves, but do not always grasp their significance. The author does a wonderful job in binging out someone's self esteem and trust issues and sets them in motion within that individual's mind. I think it gave me a look at the things that I have not taken the time to see before. This is an exceptional work for anyone struggling with such things. I realize, a story will not clear it up, but it can set out the struggle in a well defined structure.
The story is an excellent idea, but registers just a bit shallow. I completely see why this is a horrible day for her, but I didn't feel for her as much as I should have. I needed something a bit darker from one of the miserable patiets to make me rally to the psychologist's side. I am on her side, but I think you should steer the reader to more than just simple annoyance. Just a thought. This is something that has some still untapped potential in it. I think if the author lets that potential loose, this will be absolutely spectacular. Give us some hostility towards the patience, a bit more of the psychologist's silent thoughts, and make us shake our heads a bit more. I will be happy to stop in and rereview if editting is done. This is very promising and holds up nicely in its current form.
My favorite thing--"Apparently, my secretary missed the memo etched into her desk to never schedule these whackos on the same day." This from a psychologist made me laugh. Just a little thing, but it stood out.
Ah, this was a very funny piece. I too had this problem with my wife and her family. My kids were taught what it was without hesitation and it become a constant battle with her family for years. I fully agree with the author on body part names. The story has something we can all associate with: an independant person doing what they think is best, a parent that opposes such things, and a wonderfully delivered crisis point. The conclusion is great and works off that same point. Very well done. I would have liked to have seen some more reaction maybe, but this was a great read.
This poem is a good, solid representation of christian's view of their savior. It comes across with concise lines that deliver such wonderful verse. The author delivers clear thought on what it is to be within the fold of Christ. He shows patience and is reday to accept when one is ready to ask for it.
Overall: The poem has a steady flow and is driven by verses that provoke thought. Each verse shows us what Christ offers and then shows us how it is refused. The conclusion is nice, with the character releasing itself and taking on the love that has always been there. The author did very well in bringing one's struggle with this out for us to witness. It was an honor to read something that delivers such a solid message.
The story is a funny one. My only problem is with Greg. Why did a man who is never like this become so unwrapped? I see his explaination and clearly understand someone worrying about another, but this seems a little much. Evidently the computer has been eating at hime before this happened. That being said, the story has a solid crisis, a wonderful use of dialogue as a driver, and gives the reader an honest situation they can associate with. We all have arguments of some time with loved ones. The conclusion was an unexpected turn. I was wondering where this was headed and was honestly caught off guard.
Suggestions/Corrections
1) In your dialogue, it may feel more real if it wasn't so formal. I fully realize that people speak properly, but we tend to use contractions: haven't, can't, isn't, and such. Just a thought. The dialogue felt a bit formal, especially in the fight about the baby.
Good story. Using all the other words to make this story travel so well was a brilliant idea. The author develops a story that is fun to read and is something that can be used to inform readers of several points of grammer. I do wish the author would have found a way to clearly define linking and helping verbs. I mean, it is understood, but there are those that may wonder about it.
Overall: The character is developed wonderfully. His thoughts and actions show us through his crisis, eventually defining who he becomes in the story's conclusion. There are antagonists and secondary characters to keep the story fresh. This was a very well written piece.
What I liked most-- I really enjoyed the "Desk in Charge" game. That portion of this story was something we can all connect with in one way or another. Though I didn't personally ever play a game where I had to act as a preposition, there were other things.
Suggestions/Corrections
1) "Once upon a time(,) an extremely long time ago," I do believe a comma is needed here.
2) "Once(,) “Is” bravely asked desk if it could please play Desk in Charge with them." Comma needs to be here.
Good collection of this author's contest entries. It is always emjoyable to see a folder that delivers what it advertises. I like the things I read here and see some real ability with this particular author. The contest things have their limits and are items that the author can work into really nice things. I hope other reviewers will take their time to stop by and give a few of things a read and review. It was well worth my time.
This was a great folder used by this author to display things created for contests. I found it all to be pleasing and enjoyed the time I took reading throughh the things located here. The file has a solid foundation, delivering just as it advertises and gets the ranking I give out to all folders that deliver what they promise. Some very nice pieces here and I was happy to take the time to read through all the things found inside. Good work.
I like the list. This authors makes a statement about how she wants to use resolutions that she will be apt to follow and then lists eight of these. I enjoyed reading the list and the thoughts on specific things to enrich this author's life. The capitalizing of "He" and "His" is annoying and sort of scrambled my thoughts when reading this. I appreciate capitalizng "God", but doing so with all the other words just because they reference the essence, does not make "God" stand out as significant as you intended. Opinion only. It does not lessen him/her/it/whateverGodchooses to be to write all the other words as they should be written.
A great folder of this author's images. I love the "Purple Angel" most. I am giving this folder a perfect rating as any folder that delivers the goods should get. It has enough items in it to make this something worth spending a little time in. The images are diplayed with credit where it is due. Giving the credit to the creators of images is always a plus with me. This folder is a good look at the collection of this author. Put together nicely and it was great to stop in and get a quick look.
Interesting. Great images and thought provoking lines make this a very good read. I fully realize that it may not reach all the technical points so many reading poetry may like or be as grand and colorful the others may want, but this is a nice piece. The lines are strong, the words are easy, the poem is understandable, and this is something I can honestly recommend to anybody on WDC that wants to get a good, different read. I am no a big poetry person, but I hope others will read this review and stop in to make their own thioughts known. Do what the site is meant to. REVIEW and Rate. This was a pleasure for me.
I really lie what this poem is saying, but felt that I was unable to fully connect with the real emotion here. There are some strong feelings here and wanted to connect. This author delivers something powerful, but does so without pulling the reader into what the problems behind this truly are. I can recommend this to all the other readers that make their way across WDC and I hope they also take the time to give this author their thoughts. Maybe a few more lines that lets us all the way in my to the trick to trully make this shine as I feel it wants too and can.
This review is strictly on this poem's appeal to me personally. Forgive the fact that there will not be ant words to help you improve on this piece. This review is all about the fluff. I really absorbed and enjoyed this poem. I am recommending it to all the other authors on this site. Give this poem a review. It is well worth the time and I do not see anyone being truly disappointed. I LIKED THIS. These words are from a reader as I am sure the poem can be taken apart technically. This one felt really, really good.
Suggestions/Corrections
1) "I hate to (here) you cry that way" This should be 'hear'.
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