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1151
1151
Review of Mental Illness  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review your article. Please use my suggestions as you see fit.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
This article is informative regarding mental illness and public awareness.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
Mental illness affects the patient's ability to interact in society. People with mental illness are described as aloof, eccentric and cold. A lack of public awareness contributes to the problem of creating stigma in society and promotes an immature society. More normal members of society want to shun mental patients.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
The general public does not understand that the stigma against mental patients slows them done in opening up. Hence, only those who have the disease know the symptoms. The disease is also misdiagnosed by professionals who are constantly re-defining the disease and its causes. Recently, professionals have identified the problems of the illness and now believe mental patients are like normal people in that they also have dreams, goals and hopes. They too need to be loved. This outlook is helping patients and society interact better with each other.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Mental patients, general public, writer

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
Language usage, punctuation and grammar are quite acceptable. The language targets the more average person. You don't have to be an MD to understand it. Nice job.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most memorable is the idea that increasing public awareness can help all of society.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac

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1152
1152
Review of Ticket to Hope  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
You're most welcome!
1153
1153
for entry "Silent Seas" 
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem about the ocean is very moving to the reader.


*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The sea might appear calm, but it is not always as it appears. The ocean can be placid, but Its silence can be thought of as a mask, hiding rough water and turbulence. Storms under the surface of the sea could be a threat.


*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled throughout the poem. Rhythm is unmetered. Language usage and punctuation are acceptable. I think you meant 'one of its masks' (plural). Your vivid description is quite effective. I felt like I was taking a morning walk on a cool, crisp day. Your imagery paints a nice picture for the reader's experience. I enjoyed your poem. I like your idea of recording your poetic thoughts.


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1154
1154
Review of Shallow Inside  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Poet reports she feel just empty, not happy or sad.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Poet feels like a caged bird, struggling to get out. Her shallow heart is waiting for a fresh start. She asks what she does with a heart that doesn't love anymore. Her soul is lonesome. Like sunshine following the storm, she hopes life will be in full form. She is waiting for her soul to be happy and her heart to sing again.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Some rhyme pattern. Unmetered rhythm. Language usage and punctuation are quite acceptable. Some imagery, eg she feels like a caged bird.

Thank you for sharing.


Regards,

GerMac


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1155
1155
Review of Left Behind  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to honor you in a review of your short story.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
Harry, a loyal companion, was left behind with no explanation.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting takes place at home and after dark in the streets. Harry, the lead dog, is left behind. In the past the owner had always returned in the evening..Billy spent the day in the kennel.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
Harry managed to edge his way out the dog door, into the garden and onto the street. You might know he is looking for his dog pack. Speedily making his way, he suddenly felt the ground disappear under his feet. He continued through the undergrowth, limping and in pain. He finally found Billy and licked him until Billy was cleaned p. He was never going to lose him again.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Harry, lead dog
Bully, pampered dog
Pack of dogs, a pit bull, two poodles, an an alsation, one human
Carl, a boy
Master

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
Language usage, punctuation, and grammar are quite acceptable.


*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
The loyalty shown by Harry, as he searches for his pack.



*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A

Thanks for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac

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1156
1156
Review of Motherhood  
Review by GerMac
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review your piece for your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit.


*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
This is an article about a young mother's exhaustion caused by a new infant at home. Seems to me, it accurately portrays what a young mother goes through when her children are very young.


*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting is the young mother's home. The theme says that a young mother has unbridled pressure and stress. It sounds like she is also suffering from postpartum blues. She could talk to her doctor about her depression. Most new moms get some of that problem.


*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
A young mother wants to and needs to serve the needs of the new baby, the toddler and the dad. She does that and then feels like she is not accomplishing anything. What more could she accomplish~~raising children and a dad.


*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
New baby, toddler, mom and dad


*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
Language usage, punctuation and grammar are very acceptable. Well-written piece.


*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most memorable is the tear soaked pillow that nobody knows about.


*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A


Thanks for sharing.


Regards,

GerMac

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1157
1157
Review of Shoes  
Review by GerMac
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for your account anniversary, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem is about seeing life through several pairs of shoes.


*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
She didn't cry when her child took her first step in her shiny black patent leather shoes. Such pretty feet! Nor did she cry when her child made a basket in high top sneakers and scored a victory for her team. She didn't cry when her child went to her first dance in high heels which marked her as a young lady.


Now there is no sign of her except her patent leather shoes, her high top sneakers and her high heels. Her mother screamed, cried and yelled because the child was taken. She is no more.


*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This poem is sprinkled with rhyme. It is unmetered verse. It is an expression of love for a child.


Thank you for sharing.


Regards,
GerMac


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1158
1158
Review of The Hat  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to honor you with a review on your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
A hat leads Sandra to her soulmate.



*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
This short story takes place on the beach.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
Sandra was told by a psychic that her hat would lead her to her soulmate. The wind blew her hat away twice. She heard a golden retriever barking. Goldie found the hat. After playing a game of chase with her owner, Goldie presented the hat to Derek, the owner. Derek and Sandra became friends. Sandra decided the hat did find her soulmate after all.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Sandra is the lead character. Ryan is an ex-boyfriend. Leslie is a past friend. Derek is Sandra's new soulmate. Goldie is a playful, loyal golden retriever.



*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
Language usage, punctuation and grammar are well written.



*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
The most memorable moment in your short story is observing Goldie and Derek during their chase.



*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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1159
1159
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here to review your short storiy to honor you on your account anniversary, Please use my suggestions as you see fit.


*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
Reading can be a deadly passion, as you will find out in this dark short story.


*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting takes place in Donna's home and in her neighbor's home. Donna and Patty are older widows who have been good friends for ten years. They spent many hours talking about books they shared and enjoyed.


*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
Donna had just finished reading her book, "The Writer's Curse" for the evening when she noticed two cop cars and an ambulance pulling up in Patty's driveway. Not long after, the ambulance wheeled out a covered corpse on a gurney. It was Patty on the gurney. After the ambulance left, an anonymous phone call came in which turned out to be the author of "The Writer's Curse". She threatened Donna and told her to make sure Donna finished reading the book. That evening Donna continued with the reading to find out that in the book Melanie's sister had been murdered. A hammer had been stuck in her skull. Just moments later, a hammer crushed Donna's skull in real life. Tension was built. I don't see any resolution of the tension.


*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Donna and Patty. good friends, neighbors and widows who shared a love of reading.



*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
Alll okay in this arena.


*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
The most memorable was the surprise of having a character in the book murdered and moments later the same thing happened to the woman who was reading the book.



*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
No suggestions


Thanks for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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1160
1160
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems in honor of your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
In Lily's garden, she waters, weeds and prays, cultivating a faith that glows.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The water flows, the sun feeds and plants grow in a plot where Lily sows. She stirs the earth with the love it needs.

A hummingbird nuzzles a succulent bloom. The fountain bathes fruited plants in costumes. Lily's market is a lush meadow of flowers. Her patrons are homeless creatures of the forest. Children dance in her garden for hours. Squirrels, flickers, and Jay's harvest Lily's leftovers and slip them under the first snow.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:

Your word choice is very appropriate and creative too. Language usage and punctuation are excellent. There is a rhyme pattern. A nice cadence is developed by the rhythm. Personification is used, eg 'hummingbird nuzzles'. Imagery is used throughout, eg 'fruited plants in costume'. Poetic convention, eg consonance is used in the poem, eg 'wispy waifs wearing'. No suggestions. Very excellent poem


Thank you for sharing. I thoroughly enjoyed your poem and Lily too!



Regards,
GerMac


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1161
1161
Review of Heaven of freedom  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems in honor of your account anniversary, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This poem is about the color and quality of freedom.


*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The freed bird is ready to fly to unlimited freedom. Let the caged brethren of our earth find themselves. May the land of Liberty breathe consoling words of joy and peace, as the pigeon on its own and ready to taste sweet delights. Away from confining restraints of slavery, we escape the irrational, the unimaginative, the unsympathetic. In heaven of freedom we have sense and truth as guiding lights, our rising star, our Supreme Master.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This is a free verse poem. Rhyme is sprinkled through the poem. The verses are unmetered. Excellent language usage . Punctuation is very effective. Very fine imagery, eg the similes following.
'like the bird set free from an alluring cage'
'as the pigeon poised to taste the sweet delights'

I have no suggestions for improvement. Very excellent poem.

Thank you for sharing.


Regards,
GerMac


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1162
1162
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems in honor of your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a free verse poem about the voice of thunder.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Thunder uses its voice. Dark clouds threaten its peacefulness. There is fear it might be cracked by lightning. Thunder stirs intense emotion. Thunder sees behind its mask and sees its soul and voice.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This poem is sprinkled with rhyme. Rhythm is unmetered. Personification runs throughout the poem. The question posed by the poem: What is it?

Thank you for sharing.


Regards,
GerMac


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1163
1163
Review of Blank Pages  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a traditional Spenserian poem about writer's block, the inability to produce new work. The writer experiences a creative slowdown which can last for years.


*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This astute poem talks about what it is like experiencing writer's block. The poet introduced the book whose pages fell off when he flipped through it. The quill was still in the inkwell. Inside the book there were no ideas to sell, no story to be read.

The poet became curious. He felt the writer fled, acted dead while sitting in the den. The poet took the quill again and wrote, "The End". The poet might have been talking about someone other than himself. Several things happened that insinuated that. The book must have been old since the pages fell off. The quill sat in the inkwell, so the writer must not have intentionally stopped writing for the evening. He must have intended to pick up the quill and write again. Instead, the writer fled, acted dead while sitting in the den. The last thing the poet did was grab the feather again and just wrote, "The End". More likely, the poet experienced writer's block in this poem because of the grabbing of the quill again. The message stated about experiencing writer's block is poignant.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
The rhyme pattern in this Spenserian Sonnet is abab bcbc cdcd ee. This form is delightful. Poem is metered, especially the couplet with iambic pentameter. This poem is well-written. Language usage and punctuation are done well. I have no suggestions other than attempting to determine who had writer's block. That is a message to myself!

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1164
1164
Review of Undulating Waves  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a free verse poem about the drive to better one's lot in life is often crushed.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
There is a drive learned in youth which is a drive to better oneself. That eager drive is many times crushed, but it returns. There is a determination that drives a person. In order to win the game, a person has to get his uniform dirty. Once that is realized tremendous effort without condemning the cruel aspects takes place. One then holds himself and the truth in the highest regard.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This is free verse poem. It is unrhymed and unmetered. The point made is quite poignant.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1165
1165
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a free verse poem about the voice of thunder.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The poet tells us that thunder uses its voice, The dark clouds threaten its peace. There is fear that it might be cracked by lightning. Even though the thunderstorm stirs up intense emotion, thunder knows who it is and what it faces. Thunder sees behind its mask and is its soul and its voice.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This free verse poem is sprinkled with rhyme. Rhythm is unmetered. Personification runs throughout the poem. The question posed by this poem: What is it?

Thank you for sharing.
Regards,
GerMac


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1166
1166
for entry "Sleeping Dreams" 
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
To the wonderment of the poet, the question is asked: what kind of world do dreams live in?

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Each dream is different from another. Some dreams live in admiration and are worthy of attention. Other dreams live in blatant fear. And yet others are strange with unfamiliar characters and ideas. Some dreams are precious and deserve to be cared for.

The poet questions who decides if dreams will do battle to reign over other dreams. Or will they just win the title of king of dreams? Who presides over the territory of dreams? Once again the poet asks what kind of world dreams live in. Is it a kingdom, a monarchy, a democracy, or just plain anarchy?

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:{/b
The thinking in this poem could be allegorical, with dreams representing types of government. You could use personification: The words describing the dreams could be quite human with Admiration becoming a city, for example. This seems like a bank of creativity! I don't find any language usage or punctuation errors. Good job.


Thank you for sharing.
Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1167
1167
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
{inden*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
This is an article about a woman who had a lifelong obsession to have a title after her name. The woman herself acts as the narrator of the article.



*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
A woman spent her entire life trying to put herself in a position to have a title after her name. She earned a BA in English with a minor in Psychology. Her degree made her feel she was closer to her goal, but only half way there. She had plans of becoming a lawyer, but she fell in love and got married instead. Twenty five years later she retired as a clerk of a Superior Court. By that time her 'flickering ember' was almost extinguished.

Her mother at age 91 years old needed assistance. The daughter decided she was needed here, as it got more difficult for the mother to handle her own business. The daughter was an attorney in fact on her mother's banking so she could pay the bills. Later a Durable Power of Attorney was needed, as the mother needed her daughter to act as an agent for her, and that was the closest she Came to becoming a lawyer, despite ear goals in the career world.



*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-


The interactions between mother and daughter were humorous, especially telling of the withdrawals from the bank and the overpayments made to the electricity company.


*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
Language usage was very good. I did not notice any punctuation or grammar errors.


*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
There were several humorous areas noted, played with 'tongue in cheek'. Most memorable was the daughter's marrying someone who had been her pen pal when she was younger. Marriage was actually her highest goal., despite other plans. True for many.



*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
I do not have any other suggestions or issues. Extinct should be extinguished.
1168
1168
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a free verse poem about the first day of spring. It pushed my funny bone right from the beginning.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You colored your feelings, a lot of green and a few daisies. The color became a painting, a feeling, a child's play, and finally a poem.

When a small boy saw you painting, he ran down the stairs. "Gurgle of voices run to the hill to discover the secret of my notebook."

"Their voices reward my work; another idea my mind hits". Color has already become a painting, a feeling, a child's play. You had to think to turn it into a poem.
"So, I thought to turn it into a poem
So you can see my springISH day."


*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
The dialogue spoken by the small boy was effective. The dialect spoken by the poet was very descriptive. "everyone like newborn life and what it bring." This poem is unrhymed and unmetered free verse. It reads very easily and has a good pace. The title is appropriate. "The Color Green" tell me that the poet is painting a picture that appeals to the mind's eye. That is true whether the end product is a painting, a feeling, a poem. We are showing, not telling. Great poem!

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1169
1169
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem is a recollection of wonderful childhood memories.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
While reading your poem, I felt like I was present in the panorama of the poet's childhood memories. Can you imagine the sounds of blooming flowers and butterflies? How delicious reaping the fruit of a sour apple tree. A breeze awakens sleeping beauty., kissing roses in the dewy morning.. In the juniper meadow covered with daisies you placed wreaths on a child's head and neck. White heather on light blue sky with puffy clouds conjures up the warm touch of morning sun rays.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This is a free verse poem with unmetered rhythm. Rhyme is sprinkled in the poem. Nice imagery...Some examples follow: 'season's breeze awaking senses', 'kissing roses', 'wet blanket'. My only suggestion is to use 'awakening' and 'awaken' NOT 'awaking' and awake'. Please do as you like.

Thank you for sharing.


Regards,
GerMac


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1170
1170
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem compares the evergreen tree to the winter tree.


*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The evergreen tree has a bright coat of leaves. He is sought after by birds in need of comfort. The winter tree has no leaves during the winter. He has companionship only when old bird houses are hung from its bare limbs.

The evergreen tree's needles do not bow; they are strong. The evergreen tree is alone, but he is not lonely. He is surrounded by the weary and lonely. He has admirers, but no friends.

On the other hand, the angry wind bends the bare branches of the winter tree, which is ugly but gives a home, comfort and a shield of leaves to hide them from the storm.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:{/b
This is a free verse, unmetered poem. Rhyme is sprinkled in the poem. This piece is loaded with personification. Both trees are given human qualities. The winter tree says he shouldn't envy the evergreen. The evergreen should envy him. He has friendship.

I enjoyed reading your poem. It flows nicely. I felt like one of the weary little travelers, seeking shelter in one or the other of the two trees. My favorite part: the ugly winter tree finally decided he had plenty of appeal. There was no reason to envy an evergreen tree.

Thank you for sharing.
Regards,
GerMac


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Review of Another Year  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here to review your poem. Please use my suggetions as you see fit. *Smile*
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*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-

My overall impression: Your poem expresses your positive outlook on life after some problems that you've successfully dealt with.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-

Even though life hasn't always been easy, you've picked yourself up by your bootstraps. You've faced life with courage. Keep up the good work.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:-
You have a nice rhyme pattern. You might want to consider reading your poem aloud, then adding/subtracting syllables as needed for a smooth flow of words. Some suggestions for pondering:
There should be a comma after the word 'weep' and a comma after the word 'dumb'.


Thank you for sharing.
From
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann
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Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I'm GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here to review your poem. Please use suggestions as you see fit.
*Smile*

My overall impression: Your poem paints a picture for the mind's eye. It is a poem to honor St. Patrick's Day.

St. Patrick's Day is a day of celebration for those who remember to wear green. Shamrocks or three leaf clovers decorate the holiday. Four leaf clovers are not often found. There are many myths and legends on St. Patrick's Day and talk of Emerald Isle. The day is for remembering faith, hope, love, happiness.

Rhyme is sprinkled throughout the poem. Rhythm is good. Some imagery enjoyed. Grammar and mechanics are good.

Thanks for sharing,
From
GerMac
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#130305 by Not Available.
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Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Introduction:
I'm GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here to review your short story that was listed on the Review Request pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

My overall impression: Your short story is about a family member who receives a phone call at 3:00 a.m from his sister, who has been dead for several months. The conversation is emotional, in fact, unbelievable to begin with.

Setting:
The scene takes place in the brother's home with a phone call placed by his sister, long distance from heaven. There are some imaginary scenes. The brother imagines he and his sister someday after he passes away, sitting in a field enjoying the sunshine.

Characters and Dialogue:
The Reader sympathizes with the brother and sister. They miss each other and yet cannot spend time with each because she is in heaven. He does see her on the phone screen. It's almost like she is present.
Her comment was a code and told him his sister was making the call.
"Remember Storm. I'll always love you tomorrow.

The dialogue tells a lot about the personalities and their relationship. Good job with dialogue. A few comments about the use of quotation marks is noted below.

Most Memorable:
The brother believed that although she was not with him, she would never truly leave his side. The sister told him "And I promise you will see me again."

Grammar and Mechanics and Suggestions:
Several times you used the word 'stare'. It should be 'stared'. Quotation marks are used fairly appropriately, except the following:
'How could I be so stupid?' Add question mark.
'I'm so sorry,' Add comma.
'I love you and miss you all,'. Add comma.

Thanks for sharing.
From
GerMac
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Review of Virtue  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I'm GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here to honor you with a review of your poem. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

My overall impression: Your poem speaks of virtue and the dark side of virtue, for example, the dark side is excess and greed. The virtuous side is restraint and temperance.

Modesty and humility must be applied so you don't fall victim to the dark side, pride.

It is very important that temperance is described along with greed, as the poet has done. If you don't discuss both, you won't know what not to do.

Kindness, temperance, charity, chastity, humility, diligence and patience are all described in your poem, along with the 'other side of the coin', the dark side.

Some words can be omitted to enhance a smooth flow and rhythm. Consider this: Stanza 2 omit 'actually'; Stanza 4 omit 'And'; Stanza 6 omit 'Even' and 'their'

Rhyme pattern good. Mechanics and language usage are good overall. Well-written.

Thank you for sharing.
From
GerMac
{biter:1300305}
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Review of The Rope  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I'm GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here to review your poem. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

My overall impression: Your poem is a classic in terms of an understanding of the English language and the message communicated.

In Stanza 1 the man has been shamed. He has seen the wall of shame. In Stanza 2 his friends thought more of their race than they did of his commitment to love. In Stanza 5 She began doubting him.

Stanza 6 "Undermine to understand and stand under hope
But never lie a victim of love and always tie a rope." In Stanza 8 his friends counted their blessings...they were satisfied. They thought of him as a fool.

Stanza 9 She disagreed with his friends' thinking. He couldn't understand why she disagreed. Finally he realized they got to his head and changed his thinking.

Stanza 10 She was no longer there for him. His sanity was 'adrift at sea'. Stanza 11 It was too late to see that the knot was a noose. He died that night.

There is a rhyme pattern in your poem. Imagery is very excellent. You might try reading the poem aloud to your self and adding and subtracting syllables as needed for a smooth flow of words. Language usage and mechanics good. Using word order is essential to understanding your poem.

Thank you for sharing.
From
GerMac
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