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I'm good at evaluating the writer's creative statement or message. If there is no statement, the piece seems disconnected and it's difficult to see the purpose. Many readers would question whether there is a purpose at all. I'm good spotting language usage and grammar, punctuation and spelling problems. If corrections are needed, I'll point them out to you under suggestions.
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Public Reviews
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1076
1076
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our June Review Raid., Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-.
Sunshine and Poppy get along fabulously well, especially when he helps her make a strawberry stand and lets her share some of the extra strawberries with friends.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Poppy, Nanny and Sunshine worked together to get the essentials done for their day in the sun. Poppy had too many strawberries this year, so they painted a stand, made a sign and picked and cleaned strawberries. Soon the whole neighborhood had stopped by. Sunshine had a fabulous day. Most memorable to me as Nanny tucked Sunshine into bed, she said, "Sweet strawberry dreams, my little Sunshine!"

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Good attention to detail.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1077
1077
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
We have plenty of love for our children . Our love for them is unconditional.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is written very creatively. I like what you say about the garden of love. Our love is passionate as the red rose, like a climbing white jasmine. It climbs until it reaches our hearts. It is locked away, yet no key is required as our love cannot be removed. Most memorable: It comes with no conditions. It is theirs forever. I totally agree that love for our children cannot be removed.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your lovely poem is unmetered and unrhymed. Nice similes, eg "passionate as a red rose". I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation.


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1078
1078
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Grandmothers have a way of letting you know they love you but also being firm in a kind way.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is creative with help offered. Your grandmother tells you eventually she'll meet her maker, just like everyone else. In the meantime, she aims to pass on some important gifts. Remember to smile in a crowd because someone there might be closest to your heart. The kindness you share might be exactly what you receive. Above all, don't let people take advantage of you just because you're kind. Most memorable for me: "Don't let a moment pass where you're not loving something." This is an excellent lesson. If we remember to love something every moment or even everyday, we will be loving people...with love in our hearts. It would be impossible to hate under these circumstances and the world would be a better place.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Some nice imagery..."all things sweet with delight." Rhyme is sprinkled trough your poem. Read your poem to yourself. Add and subtract syllables as needed for a smoother flow of words. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation.
Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1079
1079
Review of Untitled 3  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-{/b
Exercise is an activity some can't get enough of. Others refuse to participate in it unless the doctor orders it. If people are required to exercise for they health, they might find it is the best thing that has ever happened to them.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is very true. Having an exact regimen of exercise helps us strengthen those areas needing more strength and helps us flatten tummies and get rid of flabby legs and bottoms. I agree! I'm one that has to be motivated too, but once I give in to the regular program, all kinds of good things happen. Next, we should have a poem about pushing away from the dining room table!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by language usage or grammar. I have some suggestions for punctuation, as follows:
for my heart NOT For my heart

deed, NOT deed
great, NOT great
block, NOT block
shock, NOT shock
success? NOT success
pounds, NOT pounds
light, NOT light
with NOT With
pride, NOT pride

I find that reading a poem with stanzas is very relaxing and helps me focus on the meaning of the poem. You might want to divide your poem in 5 stanzas of 6 lines each. Works perfectly in your case.

Thank you for sharing.
Regards,
GerMac

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1080
1080
Review of The Jeweler  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If the make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This delightful traditional poem tells a tale of romance and love once beheld.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You have an effective comparison for your poem. The many diamond facets are compared to you and your personality. You say your flaws stand out like an open book. You changed with great effort to please your partner. Now your diamond facets make others look lame. Hence forward, you find your facets imust be lacking as he turns his back on you. Rejection is the proof.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by usage, grammar or punctuation. You have chosen a diamond as your imagery. Your title is appropriate . You have an abab rhyming pattern. Rhythm creates a smooth flow of words for a good cadence. I have one suggestion: To be consistent, think about changing your fourth stanza so you have an abab pattern. At the moment you have an aabb pattern.

Thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed reading your poem.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1081
1081
Review of The Rose  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your prose pieces. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Life has a beautiful side to it and a side of hardship. Suffering hardships can make a person stronger once they have healed.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:
The rose reminded you of yourself. You were different from the rest in so many ways. You had chosen the "path less traveled" and had a unique life because you had. You could never regret taking the journey you had taken. "She had left her footprints in it...wore scars from the thorns she came upon throughout her journey. Each one made her stronger once they healed."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage or grammar. Excellent job with personificatio, eg "The rose stood straight and tall, exuding its confidence". Your imagery is also excellent, eg It was soaking up the rays of the sun, "wearing it like a magic cloak". Here are some suggestions for you to think about, as follows:
its NOT it's (several times)
tall, NOT tall
That less traveled path...incomplete sentence.


Thank you for sharing.
Regards,

GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1082
1082
Review of Too Late  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi JCD! I'm GerMac. I'm affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I'm here today to review one of your short stories. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
An athlete can find truth in a race. Learn motivation from practice, and master the real test of endurance during the track meet.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting takes place on the local high school's track for practice and on another high school's track for the track meet.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
With a new nickname of Choo Choo the high school athlete and teammates perfected teamwork, remembering you're as strong as your weakest link.. Developing concentration, controlled breathing and a steady pace is of utmost importance. "With every passing run, the fear of pain is abated." Set your goal. Pursue achieving that goal with determination. "Happiness is reserved for the mediocre." The dream is peeled away and I awake like I always do..." Okay! So it's only a dream! You can use the dream for motivation to practice and get closer to achieving your goal. Should your title be "Too Soon" rather than "Too Late"? You might think that one over!

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
High school track athlete
Three other high school track athlete teammates
Dialogue N/A

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most memorable for me is as follows: Procedure for executing a win, i.e. Concentration, controlled breathing and steady pace.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
Think about your title as noted above.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac

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1083
1083
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi Holly! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review Part One of your novel. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
When hard times hit, families need to care for each other and seek help from others, eg ministers.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting of Part One takes place at home, school and Castle, a new club. The theme that runs through your novel is tormentious, especially for Luce, a brand new 18 year old. Her family is going through hard times with parents threatening divorce and children caught up with alcohol.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
Luce escapes her family troubles by climbing down a tree and taking. a taxi to the Castle, a club. She is experimenting with her new age status and meets people who introduce her to alcohol, sweaty bodies on the dance floor, free, legal magic pills handed out by the bartender and others. She gets mighty drunk as a first timer, decides she doesn't like the way she's being pushed around. She leaves, vomits in the drain outside and falls several times. She realizes she has lost her purse, ID, and phone. Tries to get back inside Castle, but it is locked. Now what? Conflict is built through her innocence and introduction to the alcohol route. Resolution needs to be brought about, perhaps Part Two. Resolution needs to be brought about for her parents and brother too, but that is not discussed in Part One.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Luce
Brother
Mom
Dad
Jules, met her in bar
Blue Eyes, met him in bar
Bartender
Disk jockey
Girl who drops her drink down the front of Luce's dress
Bar companions play a part in the seedier part of life one evening at Castle.

Dialogue written in contemporary format consists of as much conversation as possible and as little text as possible. "He said, she said" is avoided. Spoken language is supposed to be written just like it sounds.

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Some spelling errors.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
The pathetic display of a young girl at Castle who is falling down drunk.


*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
You might want to try a different voice. I recommend third person omniscient point of view. Each time the speaker is changed, there is a new paragraph.


Thank you for sharing.
Regards,
GerMac

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1084
1084
Review of A Simple Love  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Humility has a great appreciation of the forest.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is not only creative, it is also intellectual in a very humble way. You feel you have been deprived of a simple love, the forest. You say that "all components of this perpetual...emotion-soothing machine...melt my soul into everlasting mesmerizing euphoria". One must be humble to appreciate the biological beauty and purity of the forest. The forest is the quintessence of wonder, but you are society's prisoner, serving a life sentence. The woods give happiness that mankind cannot touch. It is like nothing mankind can provide. Most memorable to me is the following: "I lose myself as my mind is enveloped with the aura of the sweetest contentment."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar, or punctuation. Your poem is unrhymed and unmetered. Your imagery is impeccable, eg, "The bird sirens of a sultry melodious bliss." No suggestions.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1085
1085
Review of On the Page  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Poole, My name is GerMac. I am, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to honor you with a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-.
This poem speaks of the potential in life that is lost. A writer can come up with a creative idea, perfect it to his/her liking and then easily lose the idea or at least lose the effort that went into it.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You started with a blank page, ffound your best recipe for a mixture of creative ideas and professional thought. You then spent at least a fortnight, months or even years drafting, re-writing and perfecting your product. You invented a tale of two lovers dancing and finally years later they wed. On the job they always came out on top. They may or may not have had children. They both grew old and were laid to rest. All was ripped from you by the wind, which snatched the lovers from you and made them disappear. It was as easily accomplished as that! There goes months at least of your writing, your creativity and your ideas.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
You have some rhyme sprinkled in your poem. The rhythm is a little choppy so you might try reading the poem aloud, add and subtract syllables as needed for a smooth flow of words. You have some imagery in your poem, eg "laugh lines beginning". I was not distracted by errors in grammar. Here are some suggestions for you. You changed from present to past to present tense. It is always a good idea to stay in the same tense as much as possible.

Stanza 3:
rang NOT ring
Cheered NOT cheer
bounced NOT bounced
Stanza 4:
persevered NOT persevered.
Stanza 5:
grew NOT grow
Until laid to rest NOT Until they rest, forevermore


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1086
1086
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Gwrneth! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
The best remedy for a sleepless night may be to give into it.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem communicates very well your frustration with a sleepless night. First, the light attacks you, then the clock's numbers interfere with your sleep. Self degrading thoughts fill your mind. There's no escape so you decide to give in to those thoughts that consume you. One way to escape those thoughts is to take your quill in hand and write them down! I've done that myself!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme sprinkled through the poem with unmetered lines. You used personification: 'unfeeling clock'. I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation.
Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1087
1087
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Soul Sister! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review of one of your short stories. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them. *Smile* .

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
The real you shows up in a very young child!

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting of your story takes place at home and in the community,

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
The plot of your story involves saving souls for Christ, the most important of which is Dalton, your two-year-old in the eyes of Kaleb, your four-year-old, who has been recently saved himself. Kaleb's insight is incredible, as he worries about getting his younger brother saved and finally tells you, Mom, that Dalton's just too young to understand what it takes to go to heaven. The tension created is resolved when you tell Kaleb that Dalton will know who to go to when he's ready to be saved. I like your patience with Dalton in this instance.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Mom
Kaleb
Dalton

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in usage or grammar.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Kaleb'scomment that Dalton is just too young to understand 'that' question. Adorable and very mature!

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
You might want to use quotation marks with your dialogue and omit use of names other than at the beginning of your dialogue. We're allowing the reader to focus by doing this.


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1088
1088
Review of Dear Daughter  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review one of your letters, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This letter was written by a very resourceful daughter, who saw her need to receive a letter of apology from her father. She filled the need and she wrote the letter from her father.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your letter points out that your father was tormented by the thought of his daughter being used and discarded. You know that this problem also assaulted his dreams for you. He apologizes that he couldn't protect you. And he never told you it wasn't your fault. You understand that one person's innocence for another's sadistic, selfish reasons cannot be eradicated. He'd like to trade hearts so he can dry your tears. You must be a very mature young woman to see the need to receive an apology from your father and to go about writing the letter of apology yourself.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Suggestions: Have you talked to a minister about your need to receive an apology? Excellent insight in your letter.

Thank you for sharing. Good luck and best wishes.
Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1089
1089
Review of Home again  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Mouse! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This well written poem makes sense no matter how you see home.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is creative in thought and very well written. I have never thought of home as not a place but a time "of things that once were mine". Most memorable: "Time doesn't have a door". Your poem makes a very good point. You have written about time, not space.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. . Your poem has a rhyming pattern and unmetered lines. Some suggestions follow:
of NOT Of
for NOT For
and NOT And
has NOT Has

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1090
1090
Review of Midnight Fright  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Cougar! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account annuversary with a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Running from your imagination is understandable in this poem.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is creative and your title is appropriate, as the dark night brought fear and panic. Not until sunrise could you be objective about what happened. At midnight monsters ..."filled my heart with a foreboding sense of doom." Most memorable to me: "Just then the sun came up and I could see that all night long I was chased by trees."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Some good description in your poem. There is a rhyming pattern in your poem except for stanza 5 and unmetered lines. You might make your poem smoother by counting syllables and adding and subtracting syllables, as needed for a smooth flow of words. More suggestions follow:
Stanza 5 thin NOT thin.
Stanza 10 see NOT see.
Having no punctuation and no capital letters is an option.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1091
1091
Review of Gift of magic  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Spidey! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review of one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a clever poem which describes the gift of magic between husband and wife.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is cleverly laid out on the page, painting a picture of gift giving from you in 2007 and from your husband in 2008. Each gift is symbolic and makes the presentation of magic very special. I like how a kiss tells it all in each case. The message is what counts. For you: Retain innocence love, magic and childhood forever. For him: If his heart and spirit are in need, use some pixie dust, which represents trust and faith. Then live happily ever after in Neverland.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. The poem has a rhyming pattern and unmetered lines. It is free verse. Most memorable for me: Pixie dust representing faith and trust lends some magic to the relationship. Nice job of writing about your gift giving.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1092
1092
Review of it's coming....  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Elaine! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem describes autumn and the coming of winter.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is creative. I like the crisp air of autumn that you speak of, the food feasts and pumpkin pies, the falling leaves. Most memorable to me: "hay rides and unbridled play".

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your poem has some nice imagery which pleases the reader's sense of visualizing. The format on the page is fun to read. It announces with a refrain that autumn is here and winter is coming. I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Your poem is free verse, unmetered and unrhymed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac
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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1093
1093
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you in a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse communicates to the reader where the poet lives from a large area and finally pinpointing the smallest area.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is very creative. I like your technique of describing where you live, which begins with the universe, then the Milky Way, then Earth, North America, USA, Florida, Jacksonville, street, and address. This is quite clever and helps the reader remember which area you start with and where you end. It reminds me of "The Twelve Days of Christmas", a lesson in memorizing by repeating! Your grandson would like that. I imagine he could memorize this poem.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I am not distracted by errors in usage, punctuation or grammar. One suggestion: How about naming your county in Florida?

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1094
1094
Review of New Beginning  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your piece Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
The writer is facing retirement. She evaluates her present status and the unknown of the future upon retirement.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This piece is highly creative. I can easily visualize the unfolding dawn of the day and the melodious tunes of the songbirds. Your outlook about leaving your present security and friends is wholesome and courageous. Even though you have some self doubt, you eagerly seek your new beginning. In your writing piece, you begin the walk to face a new beginning. Most memorable to me: "...morning light that began to illuminate the beauty of the world..."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by any errors in language usage, punctuation, or grammar. Your description and imagery are exquisite. You have done a fine job of writing. One minor suggestion: In paragraph 1 the word is quiet NOT quite.


Thank you for sharing. Best wishes in your retirement.
Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1095
1095
Review of A Flawed Diamond  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Yasmine, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem speaks of diamonds and the part they play in a person's life.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-{/b.
You creatively show what a diamond should mean and what it does mean if it is not kept in the proper perspective. A special diamond should show that a man loves you. That same diamond isn't enough to sustain your material possessions. It is not enough without the man of your dreams and love in your heart. A diamond can be thrown away when something better comes along it. iIt can be kept until you die. Most memorable to me is as follows: Diamonds as hard as they are all have flaws. That flaw will show through, but still you would have a beautiful diamond that has stood the test of time, passed down to the next generation.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This free verse poem is unrhymed. The lines are unmetered. You build your message in a logical way, which is appealing. You might want to consider using stanzas to make each point more clear. Perhaps, divide your poem after 8 lines, then 7, then 10, then 7 then 6. Doing this would make your message more clear.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1096
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem is humorous to read.,

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
I was a little confused on the meaning of four little roosters who streamed live. Clarification here would help the reader. Your poem is creative and relaxing to read.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
In the verse about nine little roosters, you should use himself, NOT themselves. Number 4: one got what he wanted NOT they. There is a lyrical rhyming pattern and a nice cadence.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1097
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your pieces, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Your piece is a delightful comparison of current events and a magical fantasy.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This is a most creative piece, whether you enjoy hanging in the sky with a thread caught on the moon ushered by the sun or sitting in a whale swimming in the ocean of stars, night blue clouds licking the whale's belly. I like your imagery, especially the piano "whispering to the pace of my heart as it slows". Your closing twist gives the reader the chance to be creative with either choice.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar. You have some nice imagery in your piece. Think about dividing your piece into paragraphs.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1098
1098
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tim! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse speaks of an orchard of trees that have been likened to two lovers

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You speak of the rows of trees in fruit-bearing groves, in which the branches crisis cross over the dense earth. Most memorable to me are the intertwined branches that have been enlivened by the rain.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar. Some nice imagery.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1099
Review of Daddy  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lisa! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem describes your love and respect for your father, just in time for Father's Day.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You speak of those things your Daddy taught you, The kind of person he wanted you to be: loving, friendly, honest and kind. You are proud to be his daughter, as he is a man of integrity, love and spiritual strength. Optimism and hope are wonderful traits Most memorable to me: Your.Dad died before he had any grandchildren. He would have been an excellent grandfather. Your poem is moving.
.
*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language, punctuation or grammar. Your poem is free verse, no rhyme and unmetered lines. Some imagery: His death tore you to shreds.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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1100
Review of The Colour Blue  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Maddy! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Your poem speaks of the color blue and the many comparisons that can be made to it..

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-.
You say blue is as deep as the bottom of the sea. It is as light and airy as the tickle of a feather. It is as cold ask running your fingers through a stream and as high as the clear sky above. I get the idea from your poem that there are many different shades of blue, depending on what you are comparing it to. Your poem is very soothing to read.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This free verse poem is unrhyming and unmetered. You have written some very nice imagery. Most memorable for me: "As happy as relaxing with a book in your favorite hides hole".

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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