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I'm good at evaluating the writer's creative statement or message. If there is no statement, the piece seems disconnected and it's difficult to see the purpose. Many readers would question whether there is a purpose at all. I'm good spotting language usage and grammar, punctuation and spelling problems. If corrections are needed, I'll point them out to you under suggestions.
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1076
1076
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi Holly! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review Part One of your novel. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
When hard times hit, families need to care for each other and seek help from others, eg ministers.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting of Part One takes place at home, school and Castle, a new club. The theme that runs through your novel is tormentious, especially for Luce, a brand new 18 year old. Her family is going through hard times with parents threatening divorce and children caught up with alcohol.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
Luce escapes her family troubles by climbing down a tree and taking. a taxi to the Castle, a club. She is experimenting with her new age status and meets people who introduce her to alcohol, sweaty bodies on the dance floor, free, legal magic pills handed out by the bartender and others. She gets mighty drunk as a first timer, decides she doesn't like the way she's being pushed around. She leaves, vomits in the drain outside and falls several times. She realizes she has lost her purse, ID, and phone. Tries to get back inside Castle, but it is locked. Now what? Conflict is built through her innocence and introduction to the alcohol route. Resolution needs to be brought about, perhaps Part Two. Resolution needs to be brought about for her parents and brother too, but that is not discussed in Part One.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Luce
Brother
Mom
Dad
Jules, met her in bar
Blue Eyes, met him in bar
Bartender
Disk jockey
Girl who drops her drink down the front of Luce's dress
Bar companions play a part in the seedier part of life one evening at Castle.

Dialogue written in contemporary format consists of as much conversation as possible and as little text as possible. "He said, she said" is avoided. Spoken language is supposed to be written just like it sounds.

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Some spelling errors.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
The pathetic display of a young girl at Castle who is falling down drunk.


*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
You might want to try a different voice. I recommend third person omniscient point of view. Each time the speaker is changed, there is a new paragraph.


Thank you for sharing.
Regards,
GerMac

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1077
1077
Review of A Simple Love  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Humility has a great appreciation of the forest.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is not only creative, it is also intellectual in a very humble way. You feel you have been deprived of a simple love, the forest. You say that "all components of this perpetual...emotion-soothing machine...melt my soul into everlasting mesmerizing euphoria". One must be humble to appreciate the biological beauty and purity of the forest. The forest is the quintessence of wonder, but you are society's prisoner, serving a life sentence. The woods give happiness that mankind cannot touch. It is like nothing mankind can provide. Most memorable to me is the following: "I lose myself as my mind is enveloped with the aura of the sweetest contentment."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar, or punctuation. Your poem is unrhymed and unmetered. Your imagery is impeccable, eg, "The bird sirens of a sultry melodious bliss." No suggestions.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1078
1078
Review of On the Page  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Poole, My name is GerMac. I am, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to honor you with a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-.
This poem speaks of the potential in life that is lost. A writer can come up with a creative idea, perfect it to his/her liking and then easily lose the idea or at least lose the effort that went into it.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You started with a blank page, ffound your best recipe for a mixture of creative ideas and professional thought. You then spent at least a fortnight, months or even years drafting, re-writing and perfecting your product. You invented a tale of two lovers dancing and finally years later they wed. On the job they always came out on top. They may or may not have had children. They both grew old and were laid to rest. All was ripped from you by the wind, which snatched the lovers from you and made them disappear. It was as easily accomplished as that! There goes months at least of your writing, your creativity and your ideas.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
You have some rhyme sprinkled in your poem. The rhythm is a little choppy so you might try reading the poem aloud, add and subtract syllables as needed for a smooth flow of words. You have some imagery in your poem, eg "laugh lines beginning". I was not distracted by errors in grammar. Here are some suggestions for you. You changed from present to past to present tense. It is always a good idea to stay in the same tense as much as possible.

Stanza 3:
rang NOT ring
Cheered NOT cheer
bounced NOT bounced
Stanza 4:
persevered NOT persevered.
Stanza 5:
grew NOT grow
Until laid to rest NOT Until they rest, forevermore


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann

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1079
1079
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Gwrneth! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
The best remedy for a sleepless night may be to give into it.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem communicates very well your frustration with a sleepless night. First, the light attacks you, then the clock's numbers interfere with your sleep. Self degrading thoughts fill your mind. There's no escape so you decide to give in to those thoughts that consume you. One way to escape those thoughts is to take your quill in hand and write them down! I've done that myself!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme sprinkled through the poem with unmetered lines. You used personification: 'unfeeling clock'. I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation.
Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann

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1080
1080
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Soul Sister! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review of one of your short stories. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them. *Smile* .

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
The real you shows up in a very young child!

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting of your story takes place at home and in the community,

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
The plot of your story involves saving souls for Christ, the most important of which is Dalton, your two-year-old in the eyes of Kaleb, your four-year-old, who has been recently saved himself. Kaleb's insight is incredible, as he worries about getting his younger brother saved and finally tells you, Mom, that Dalton's just too young to understand what it takes to go to heaven. The tension created is resolved when you tell Kaleb that Dalton will know who to go to when he's ready to be saved. I like your patience with Dalton in this instance.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Mom
Kaleb
Dalton

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in usage or grammar.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Kaleb'scomment that Dalton is just too young to understand 'that' question. Adorable and very mature!

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
You might want to use quotation marks with your dialogue and omit use of names other than at the beginning of your dialogue. We're allowing the reader to focus by doing this.


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1081
1081
Review of Dear Daughter  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review one of your letters, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This letter was written by a very resourceful daughter, who saw her need to receive a letter of apology from her father. She filled the need and she wrote the letter from her father.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your letter points out that your father was tormented by the thought of his daughter being used and discarded. You know that this problem also assaulted his dreams for you. He apologizes that he couldn't protect you. And he never told you it wasn't your fault. You understand that one person's innocence for another's sadistic, selfish reasons cannot be eradicated. He'd like to trade hearts so he can dry your tears. You must be a very mature young woman to see the need to receive an apology from your father and to go about writing the letter of apology yourself.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Suggestions: Have you talked to a minister about your need to receive an apology? Excellent insight in your letter.

Thank you for sharing. Good luck and best wishes.
Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann

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1082
1082
Review of Home again  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Mouse! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This well written poem makes sense no matter how you see home.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is creative in thought and very well written. I have never thought of home as not a place but a time "of things that once were mine". Most memorable: "Time doesn't have a door". Your poem makes a very good point. You have written about time, not space.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. . Your poem has a rhyming pattern and unmetered lines. Some suggestions follow:
of NOT Of
for NOT For
and NOT And
has NOT Has

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann

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1083
1083
Review of Midnight Fright  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Cougar! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account annuversary with a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Running from your imagination is understandable in this poem.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is creative and your title is appropriate, as the dark night brought fear and panic. Not until sunrise could you be objective about what happened. At midnight monsters ..."filled my heart with a foreboding sense of doom." Most memorable to me: "Just then the sun came up and I could see that all night long I was chased by trees."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Some good description in your poem. There is a rhyming pattern in your poem except for stanza 5 and unmetered lines. You might make your poem smoother by counting syllables and adding and subtracting syllables, as needed for a smooth flow of words. More suggestions follow:
Stanza 5 thin NOT thin.
Stanza 10 see NOT see.
Having no punctuation and no capital letters is an option.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann

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1084
1084
Review of Gift of magic  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Spidey! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review of one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a clever poem which describes the gift of magic between husband and wife.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is cleverly laid out on the page, painting a picture of gift giving from you in 2007 and from your husband in 2008. Each gift is symbolic and makes the presentation of magic very special. I like how a kiss tells it all in each case. The message is what counts. For you: Retain innocence love, magic and childhood forever. For him: If his heart and spirit are in need, use some pixie dust, which represents trust and faith. Then live happily ever after in Neverland.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. The poem has a rhyming pattern and unmetered lines. It is free verse. Most memorable for me: Pixie dust representing faith and trust lends some magic to the relationship. Nice job of writing about your gift giving.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann

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1085
1085
Review of it's coming....  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Elaine! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you for your account anniversary with a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem describes autumn and the coming of winter.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is creative. I like the crisp air of autumn that you speak of, the food feasts and pumpkin pies, the falling leaves. Most memorable to me: "hay rides and unbridled play".

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your poem has some nice imagery which pleases the reader's sense of visualizing. The format on the page is fun to read. It announces with a refrain that autumn is here and winter is coming. I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Your poem is free verse, unmetered and unrhymed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac
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#1300305 by Maryann

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1086
1086
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you in a review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse communicates to the reader where the poet lives from a large area and finally pinpointing the smallest area.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is very creative. I like your technique of describing where you live, which begins with the universe, then the Milky Way, then Earth, North America, USA, Florida, Jacksonville, street, and address. This is quite clever and helps the reader remember which area you start with and where you end. It reminds me of "The Twelve Days of Christmas", a lesson in memorizing by repeating! Your grandson would like that. I imagine he could memorize this poem.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I am not distracted by errors in usage, punctuation or grammar. One suggestion: How about naming your county in Florida?

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann

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1087
1087
Review of New Beginning  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your piece Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
The writer is facing retirement. She evaluates her present status and the unknown of the future upon retirement.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This piece is highly creative. I can easily visualize the unfolding dawn of the day and the melodious tunes of the songbirds. Your outlook about leaving your present security and friends is wholesome and courageous. Even though you have some self doubt, you eagerly seek your new beginning. In your writing piece, you begin the walk to face a new beginning. Most memorable to me: "...morning light that began to illuminate the beauty of the world..."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by any errors in language usage, punctuation, or grammar. Your description and imagery are exquisite. You have done a fine job of writing. One minor suggestion: In paragraph 1 the word is quiet NOT quite.


Thank you for sharing. Best wishes in your retirement.
Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1088
1088
Review of A Flawed Diamond  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Yasmine, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem speaks of diamonds and the part they play in a person's life.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-{/b.
You creatively show what a diamond should mean and what it does mean if it is not kept in the proper perspective. A special diamond should show that a man loves you. That same diamond isn't enough to sustain your material possessions. It is not enough without the man of your dreams and love in your heart. A diamond can be thrown away when something better comes along it. iIt can be kept until you die. Most memorable to me is as follows: Diamonds as hard as they are all have flaws. That flaw will show through, but still you would have a beautiful diamond that has stood the test of time, passed down to the next generation.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This free verse poem is unrhymed. The lines are unmetered. You build your message in a logical way, which is appealing. You might want to consider using stanzas to make each point more clear. Perhaps, divide your poem after 8 lines, then 7, then 10, then 7 then 6. Doing this would make your message more clear.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann


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1089
1089
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem is humorous to read.,

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
I was a little confused on the meaning of four little roosters who streamed live. Clarification here would help the reader. Your poem is creative and relaxing to read.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
In the verse about nine little roosters, you should use himself, NOT themselves. Number 4: one got what he wanted NOT they. There is a lyrical rhyming pattern and a nice cadence.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1090
1090
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your pieces, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Your piece is a delightful comparison of current events and a magical fantasy.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This is a most creative piece, whether you enjoy hanging in the sky with a thread caught on the moon ushered by the sun or sitting in a whale swimming in the ocean of stars, night blue clouds licking the whale's belly. I like your imagery, especially the piano "whispering to the pace of my heart as it slows". Your closing twist gives the reader the chance to be creative with either choice.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar. You have some nice imagery in your piece. Think about dividing your piece into paragraphs.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1091
1091
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tim! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse speaks of an orchard of trees that have been likened to two lovers

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You speak of the rows of trees in fruit-bearing groves, in which the branches crisis cross over the dense earth. Most memorable to me are the intertwined branches that have been enlivened by the rain.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar. Some nice imagery.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann

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1092
1092
Review of The Colour Blue  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Maddy! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Your poem speaks of the color blue and the many comparisons that can be made to it..

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-.
You say blue is as deep as the bottom of the sea. It is as light and airy as the tickle of a feather. It is as cold ask running your fingers through a stream and as high as the clear sky above. I get the idea from your poem that there are many different shades of blue, depending on what you are comparing it to. Your poem is very soothing to read.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This free verse poem is unrhyming and unmetered. You have written some very nice imagery. Most memorable for me: "As happy as relaxing with a book in your favorite hides hole".

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann

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1093
1093
Review of Without you  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem describes the importance of love in your life. Lovely!

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This is a very nice love poem. You have used imagery and simile to express your thoughts of love,Most memorable for me are: Without touch..."like thunder without rain..." Of course, what you have to say about your lover in your life is most memorable: You are like "a beautiful rose blossoming in the sun". I'm sure your love brings out the best in you.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This free verse poem is unrhyming and has unmetered lines. You have made a study of imagery, similes, in your poem. One suggestion: Without arms around you, you feel like your skin is without bones. Is there another simile or metaphor you could use? Perhaps, "my flesh has no strength". You might want to give that some thought.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann

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1094
1094
Review of The Anchor  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem speaks of the anchor of your soul.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:
The.course of your ship, your soul, changes, but it is never lost because the anchor tethers your emotions, your will, and your mind. Most memorable to me is as follows:
"Jesus is the anchor of my soul
so when I'm tossed to and fro,
I always will know,
He'll never let me go."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your title is appropriate for your poem. Your free verse poem has a rhyming pattern, Aaab, except for Stanza 6. You might try reading your poem aloud, adding and subtracting syllables as needed for a smooth flow of words and a good rhythmical cadence. You might also want to try some different wording, eg"causes exhaustion" rather than "cause me to exhaust". In the last stanza try "II will always know" rather than"I always will know". More suggestions:
quite not Quite
cost, For though not cost, for though
cost that not cost, that
exhaust my not exhaust, my
goal not goal,
when not when'
Another option is no punctuation at all in your poem.


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann

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1095
1095
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Rhis poem speaks of depression and sadness.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Sadness, feeling blue, helps us to remember better times. For others it is a misery that no one can take. "The blue is a misery so pure that it's almost nice, for no one can take it away from us, try as they might." "Tranquil sadness soaking through our very souls,".

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, mechanics or punctuation. Rhyming is sprinkled throughout your poem. You might want to try reading your poem aloud, adding and subtracting syllables as needed for a smooth flow of words.


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1096
1096
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a very valuable glossary of poetic terminology.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This glossary of terminology for poetry is most valuable for any poet. Use it to evaluate your poetry for assonance, alliteration, caesura, consonance, end stop, enjambment, near rhyme, in line rhyme, rhyme, refrains, stanza, structure, syllable, synonym, tercentenary, and tone. There is also a list of more advanced terminology.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, punctuation, or grammar.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1097
1097
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem speaks of the fears you had until you found a friend.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem says you had fear before you found a friend dear to you. Your friend brings out your best and puts your objections to rest. Most memorable to me: Your friend "whispered to the fear in me".

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, punctuation or grammar. Rhyming. is sprinkled throughout this free verse poem. Your rhythm could be smoother. You might want to read your poem aloud and add and subtract syllables as needed. I enjoyed reading your sweet poem.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



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#1300305 by Maryann

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1098
1098
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a wonderful traditional poem, but the tradition goes further than rhyme and rhythm.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem hooked me from the beginning as I recollected my own family tradition at birthdays and holidays. We call it re-cycling, as we trade gift bags, boxes and cards for birthdays and holidays. Your re-gifting includes bonding among family members, especially after death. I'm going to propose your lovely tradition to my family. Your tradition will ever more and more be appreciated as time goes on. I can see the joy in the faces of the sisters. I hope this wonderful way is continued. Most memorable to me is as follows: "Re-gifting it, pleasure she'd gain". "Mother to aunt, sister to sister". It's the small things that are remembered forever!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar. There is a rhyming pattern and a smooth flow of words, creating a good cadence.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



GROUP
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#1300305 by Maryann

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1099
1099
Review of Twins  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This free verse poem speaks of the personalities of twin brothers.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You've shared that the twins shared everything, the same design, no birthday their own. They developed individual personalities as adults, but if a twin has pain they return to one again.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar. This free verse poem has a rhyming pattern and unmetered lines. Most memorable for me is the following: "And two are one again".


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1100
1100
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a thoughtful free verse poem for your father.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
In your poem you thank you father for many things he has done for you. He has been there for you, taught you not to fear, showed you the way and what side to take. Most memorable for me is the following:

N"My father, the man who was there,
The man who made me
into the man I would share
With the rest of my family."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This free verse poem is unmetered with a rhyming pattern. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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