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1126
1126
Review of Don't go  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
As parents age, children tend to worry about them, especially if they have poor health habits, or they are not diligent taking care of themselves.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You stated that when you were a child, you were not allowed to spend much time with your daddy. You have asked your dad to cut down on his drinking because you want him to be around in his waning years. "I fear the day that I wake up and my daddy isn't there." That day is inevitable, so I agree now is the time to make up for lost time together.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar. My most memorable lines are the following:

"Bedtime stories late at night
Burnt breakfast in the morning,
These little things stick in my mind
As a darker day is dawning."

Burning the breakfast might be remembered many years later and might help bonding too. It's these small things that make a special memory.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1127
1127
Review of Don't go  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems to honor you for your anniversary birthday., Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
As parents age, their children worry about them, especially if the parents are not diligent about their health or have habits that could end their lives, such as alcoholism.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
In this poem you say that you have had very little time spent with your dad. You beg your dad to cut down on drinking so the two of you can have some time together in the waning years. "...I fear the day that I wake up and my daddy isn't there." You know that day is inevitable.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
There is a good rhyming pattern. A nice flow of words makes for a smooth cadence, I am not distracted by any errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar. My most memorable lines are the following:

"Bedtime stories late at night,
Burnt breakfast in the morning,
These little things stick in my mind
As this darker day is dawning."

Sometimes it's the burnt breakfast that creates a moment of laughter. That special humor together gives daddy and daughter bonding that they will remember years later. It might be worth it to burn the breakfast intentionally!

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1893180 by Annette in Paris


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1128
1128
Review of Ole Harry's Grave  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for your anniversary birthday., Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Some people will do anything to win the bet!

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
There is a good rhyming pattern. Nice flow of words makes for a smooth cadence. Imagery is humorous. To swear he was going to spend the night on Harry's grave and to remain there until daybreak , says Harry must have a good friend, especially one that puts up with a bird flapping in his face and evacuating just at the right moment when Harry's mouth was open. After collecting his bet, Harry's friend drank a toast to Ol' Harry.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Nice rhyming pattern, good flow of words makes a smooth cadence. Imagery is humorous, as is the poem.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1129
1129
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, in honor of your anniversary birthday. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a tmagnificent story told by the old sea dog. He has not a friend in the world, spent his life sailing the sea, but as a storyteller he gains all kinds of acceptance.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
I just love your poem. I feel like I was present in the 1900's. I can certainly understand how all of the townspeople wanted to hear your stories. I could listen to them forever. The theme of this poem one of all people mistrusting the season until they got to know him and his storytelling abilities.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
You have used a delightful abab rhyme pattern in this poem. There is a smooth flow of words, a delightful cadence with a very contemporary way of ending each stanza with the last line continuing on into the next stanza. I am not distracted by errors in usage or grammar. Here are some suggestions in punctuation. See below.
S2: bends, not bends.
S3: beer, not beer.
S4: souse, not souse,
S7: sessions, not sessions.
S8: abound, not abound.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
German


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#1893180 by Annette in Paris


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1130
1130
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems to honor your anniversary birthday. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This poem is thought provoking and shows how a grandfather grieves over his stillborn grandson.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem paints a picture of the training and skill involved in wood carving. The way the grandfather's hands caressed the wood and made deft cuts in the wood to form a giraffe for his stillborn grandson's crib mobile tells me he was a real expert in wood carving. Even though he was grieving for his stillborn grandson, he continued working on the mobile...a way of grieving.
Finally he could not stop the tears from rolling down his face. The wood carving, even though the grandson was not alive to enjoy it, must have helped the grandfather with grieving. It was beautiful, so he should keep it as a tribute to his grandson. This is what beautiful trained hands can do.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This traditional poem has a very lovely rhyming pattern and a nice flow of words which creates a good cadence.


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1131
1131
Review of I tried....  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems to honor your anniversary birthday, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
"I tried" is an appropriate title for a bird who wants to soar and thinks he can learn to fly when his mother isn't home.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:{ /c}-
I like the protective nature you describe about these baby birds and the daring of the oldest bird. The oldest bird thought he could learn to fly when his mother was out. His siblings begged him not to try. They didn't want him hurt. Their mother would help them all when she got back. He took several tumbles before he listened to his siblings. This is a bit like real life, isn't it. Siblings are peers and peers control sooner or later!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Good rhyme pattern. Nice flow of words. I was not distracted by errors in usage or grammar. Good potential for this poem. Suggestions for punctuation:
S1: rest, not rest
around, not around
frowned. not frowned
S2: n/a
S3: again. What not again, what
S4: said. not said
S5: flail, not flail
he. not he
S6: siblings not sibling
bed, not bed
again. not again
when. not when
S7: all. not all
with not With

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1132
1132
Review of Stake Deal  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems in honor of your anniversary birthday. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
All can play the game, but fouls are not allowed. That upfront disclosure should help players and dealers.
*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
I find this Americanized version of 5-3-5 interesting. It is closer to the authentic Japanese version of Haiku and is quite creative.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I enjoyed your version of. Haiku with the syllable pattern 5 - 3 - 5. I was not distracted with any errors in usage, punctuation, or grammar. A suggestion: I counted six syllables on your last line. How about re-wording your Haiku to bring it into the syllable count: Cast out foul players. Most memorable to me: "Let's play poker now Dealers deal Cast out foul players"

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1133
1133
Review of NaPoWriMo 2016  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems to honor you on your anniversary birthday. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This poem is a re-write of "Phenomenal Woman" by Maya Angelou. You have explained why you have such a good image in your poem.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem describes your happiness in life. You point out that when you walk into a room, men fall on their knees. Women, on the other hand are quite cool. They are 'chill as can be'. You relate that men 'still can't touch', as you speak of your integrity. In your opinion people should. be proud as can be. Your use of refrains is interesting. The refrain interprets other parts of the poem. Commonly, you are a common woman. Not so common, you are non-common. An appropriate saying here, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This free verse poem is unmetered with rhyme sprinkled through the poem. Your imagery is effective, 'fire in my spirit', 'coy in my wit'. I was not distracted by errors in usage, punctuation or grammar. Most Memorable for me: "They swarm around me like a hive of.bees."

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1134
1134
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems to honor you on your anniversary birthday., Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Your poem ipaints the picture of every mom's delight, a little Prince Charming who belongs to mom.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your son's compassionate heart goes that extra mile. I certainly identify with this next comment: the idea that your son is strong willed and in time his dreams will be fulfilled. Most Memorable line for me: "The playful , mischievous grin tries to hide the devil within." Delightful!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by any errors in this section. Suggestions: N/A

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1135
1135
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of her poems posthumously. Please use my suggestions as she would have seen fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This prize winning poem about cherishing families is a joy to read.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-b
This lovely poem speaks of cherished family memories, counting your blessings, remembering parents were always there, and passing this abilit on to children

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Toni's poem is a traditional poem with a rhyme pattern and a nice flow of words which makes for a good smooth cadence. Suggestions: N/A. Most memorable line: "Passing these things on to my children is my goal, for what more could be cherished than family."
Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1136
1136
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Your poem makes for restful reading. Watching a dog content to explore at the beach is a happy sight.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem about your dog is enjoyable reading. Your dog doesn't have frisbee or sticks to chase. He is content to walk by the waves along the shoreline. It is a warm sunny day. Your dog knows a puppy is joining his owner. He doesn't mind because she has plenty of love to gI've. He sniffs at seashells and a crab. The crab walks away from him. He barks at the crab as if to say the crab is an unsociable creature. The dogs sees a shadow and knows the shadow is his guardian angel. He is now safe to take a nap. He dreams he is king of dogs.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This free verse poem is unmetered and has rhyme sprinkled through the poem. There is some nice imagery, eg "The sun sparkles on the ocean". You have used personification effectively, eg the dog doesn't worry about politics or world affairs.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann
1137
1137
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi! Angela! I am GerMac, affiliated with the Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use any of my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Your poem is a wonderful study of the many faceted personality traits of an autistic person. The autistic person has a broad base of knowledge and a creative flair. He learns differently from the typical average person., but he can fill many needs in society. He puts his pencil to paper atypically from the average person. As a retired educator, I find the pencil paper tasks are the real differences. Unusual behaviors like rushed speech or tapping and humming are found in the average population too. You have dedicated this poem to your son. It seems that you would like to help him understand his unique position. Every parent should try to help the children/adults understand and accept their Unique problems, but not in a judgmental way..

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem shows the wonderful talents your son has~~knowledge of Constitutional Law and the Patriot Act, for example. He also has a terrific mechanical aptitude and business sense that will make money in the future. He is knowledgeable and creative in everything he does.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I truly enjoyed the rhyme pattern of your poem. In Stanza 3 your pattern was interfered with. You can follow the aabb pattern by finding a rhyme for Trek to bring the pattern in line. The rhythm had a smooth flow of words. A nice cadence was developed.

I like the last line refrain in Stanzas 1 - 3 and another refrain in Stanzas 4 - 6. Stanzas 7 - 8 emphasized the link between the past and present.

Most memorable for me: the seventh stanza which shows that your son will make money from those who misunderstood and called him slow. Life has a way of evening the score! Good for him. Suggestions: I think you should describe what you mean by traditional flow. The difference between the average child and the autistic child is not really clear. You have done a great job with this poem.
Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac
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1138
1138
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi! Sum1! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use any of my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This limerick is about the poet's very honest portrayal of family members. They're all much loved for being themselves. Just be natural is an appropriate saying for this family!

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You say the family get together is potluck. I think you mean that in more than one way! Take the fattening chicken and marshmallows, the gravy full of lumps., the dry pie crust, the wine which tasted like beer and the bread which you brought and cost you dearly. You wed the baker. This was all potluck and so were the personalities. The family even had miserable weather. They were there to honor the deceased. If it could go wrong, it would...Murphy's Law, I think! Nothing went right. You are wonderfully creative and honest! Did the deceased die from earlier pot lucks?

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
This is a humorous limerick. It is loaded with rhyme. The rhythm is delicious. Most memorable for me: When describing the gravy...it was blue like the ocean, when stirred, it was quite wavy. Suggestions: N/A


Thank you for sharing.
Regards,

GerMac
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1139
1139
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Fyn! My name is GerMac. I am part of the Newbies Academy Group. I am here to review your short story. Please use any of my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
It seems to me that this is a character sketch about the protagonists, Samantha and Christoph, or perhaps, just Christoph.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting takes place at the airport. Time and how it affects life is a major theme. Time is colorful and presented in different ways through life.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
The dog, Cogs, challenged Samantha and Christoph by nipping at them and so much as daring them to work everything out. Time stretches the point when Christoph's wallet which contained Samantha's address was stolen by a pickpocket. Samantha inadvertently lost Christoph's address and left her jacket behind at the airport.

Weeks went by and they were not able to contact each other. Christoph was drafted. Samantha married someone else, even though she was pregnant. Time showed it wandered without rhyme or reason., although not always. A bullet missed Christoph in the jungle. The man Samantha married didn't care whether she was pregnant or not.

Forty years went by. They would be re-connected by love and joy. There was time for all concerned.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Samantha
Christoph
Dog, Cogs
Woman at airport who lost the paper Samantha had given her with her address. Back of it was Christoph's address although Samantha didn't realize this.
Second woman at airport who took Samantha's jacket
Pickpocket at airport who took Christoph's wallet which had Samantha's address.

Dialogue: N/A

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by any errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most memorable to me: The fate involved and the influence of time. They say "Timing is everything." It can cause havoc, stretch the point, be capricious, ease into life, or not capricious and needing to be waited out.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
Your ending in this character background is interesting because it allows the reader to imagine how things might have been if time hadn't caused such havoc. I'd personally like to know what the joy and love holds for the future. I'd like to think Samantha and Christoph are able to meet over their child's future or perhaps, more realistically Christoph would meet his son in the future. Yes, I'd like to see the story played out. It is your story, of course, and your decision.

Thanks for sharing.

Regards

GerMac
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1140
1140
Review of November  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please any suggestions I may have as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This traditional poem makes me want to analyze November's personality and take time to think about what's to come during autumn.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem is easy to read. I keep thinking about the symbolism of your poem. I believe from all of the pictures you have painted for my mind's eye, November represents the weather in autumn. Her frowns darken the clouds, she takes a nip of frosting green with morning dew. Her fading light brings day to an early close. She sends frosty chills and finally leaves so December can arrive. I now wonder what kind of personality December has because she represents yet another type of weather. Any chance of a sequel to study December's character. It seems that spring or perhaps April would have a younger personality~~more playful and less apt to 'have 'white wet snow blankets on valleys and hills'. I'd love to get to know April too!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS/MOST MEMORABLE:
I like your use of personification in this poem. Personification shows that November is a character and surprises the reader with her antics. You've captured them in your poem. I especially like how she 'brushes a misty shroud' and then laughs aloud as she wipes the shroud away.

There is a delightful rhyme pattern in your traditional poem. Just a suggestion for your consideration: There is a nice rhythm, but I wonder if the flow of words could be smoother if you first, read the poem aloud, counted syllables, and then added and subtracted syllables to even the lines of each stanza.

Your imagery is positively lovely and is noticed throughout the poem. My favorite line is 'She blows the trees until they are bare'.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac


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1141
1141
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, I saw your poem on the review pages. I was in the mood to savor a poem today. I'm glad I chose yours. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*


*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a free verse poem that captures your outlook on life years ago and shows the difference in today's terms~~how you felt about life then compared to how you feel about life now.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The years have sneaked away without your realizing it. When you were a child, rainbows were abundant. You could enjoy looking at them wherever you went, any time, any place. It's like. a cumulative effect. Bit by bit the change occurs until you wake up one morning and there is a major change that wasn't obvious until today. You conclude that not only are the rainbows gone, but so is you hope, your love, your life. There is a melancholy tone to your poem. There is a good lesson for us all to behold. The lesson of time being illusive. I could spend much time thinking your poem through, and each time I think about it, I could perceive a different slant. The rainbows could symbolize the days and the meaning of time and how mathematically, time goes faster as we get older. Have you noticed?

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your poem is unmetered and unrhymed. It has a very nice flow of words. The imagery of the rainbows is very descriptive. I am not distracted by any language usage, punctuation or grammar errors. I don't have any suggestions for improvement. You've done a nice job.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac











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1142
1142
Review of Squirrel Survivor  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our April Laugh On Review Raid. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a poem about a squirrel who survived~~sort of what I mean!

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This free verse poem claims that the squirrel is experienced crossing the street and knows how to look to the left, look to the right, now cross. He ran across the street without realizing how fast the car was coming. Not exactly kersplat, but his tail was smashed. That is what the reader is led to believe!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
These areas are acceptable. I was not distracted by errors while reading this poem. Unrhymed and unmetered.

Thank you for sharing.


Regards,

GerMac

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1143
1143
Review of #bestvacationever  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our April Laugh On Review Raid, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
Is there no way to return to the land?

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-.
A father and his children sat inside, all engrossed with their technology., i.e. iPads, iTouches, cell phones, etc. Dad texted his wife, asking what's for dinner. He emailed his son, asking if he had finished his homework. He sent his family members to their walls where he tagged them in an update. He told them they were going camping. Children were horrified. They slept in a tent and used it for Internet. The last country like experience? They took pictures and posted them to Instagram, I think technology is here to stay, whether we return to the land or not!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Language usage, punctuation and grammar are acceptable. Rhyme pattern exists in this poem. A smooth flow of words is created by the rhythm. Suggestions: N/A

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac

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1144
1144
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac. I am affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review your poem for our April Laugh On Review Raid. Please use any suggestions I may have as you see fit.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
My overall impression of your poem says that forcing a raccoon out of chimney is quite a feat, nothing pleasurable about it. Removing a raccoon from a chimney is quite a difficult job.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting took place in a home. Men with nets and sticks arrived. There were four people and two dogs fighting the raccoon.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
Barking, coughing and tumbling could be heard, but finally the raccoon was removed and his rubble was cleaned up.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Raccoon
Four people, including mom and child
Two dogs

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
Language usage, punctuation and grammar are acceptable. There is a rhyming pattern and a smooth flow of words creating a cadence.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most memorable is the black raccoon cloud of dust that came out of the chimney.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A

Thanks for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac

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1145
1145
Review of Anon A. Mouse  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our April Laugh On Review Raid., Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a traditional poem about a mouse struggling to find food and shelter for her soon to be born babies.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-.
This little mouse is about ready to give birth to her babies. She needs a warm house for them and a few crumbs from the floor to feed them. She knows the people who live there will fearful of them. Mama mouse plans to sneak in at night when the family is asleep. She'll teach her babies to be quiet and hide especially from the cat that the family is planning to get. Watch for the traps! We all have to survive is her thought.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
There is a rhyme pattern and a nice flow of words which creates a nice cadence. The poet has used personification to describe Mama Mouse's feelings.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac

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1146
1146
Review of HGTV and Me  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our April Laugh On Review Raid, Please use any of my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This is a traditional poem about learning home design from the poet's wife's HGTV programs.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This is a very well written poem about a retired military officer's new occupation working with home design. He picked up this interest watching his wife's HGTV programs. He can remodel and renovate any room in the home for the greatest profit. Remodeling and renovating adds value and beauty to a home.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Design isn't this man's only talent! He is also an excellent poet. Language usage, punctuation and grammar are well done. Rhyming word choices are excellent. Rhythm creates a smooth word flow and cadence. Very good logical development and paragraph structure. Nice job.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,

GerMac
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1147
1147
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:-
This poem speaks of someone breaking into a home and taking the toilet paper, but nothing else,

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Why would someone break into a home, commit a crime just to steal toilet paper? The poet would have given all of the toilet paper in his house if the thief had just asked him. Doing such 'an insane act' will never be understood.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
There is a hype pattern. Rhythm reads smoothly.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1148
1148
Review of Todd  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here to review one of your poems. Please use my suggestions as you see fit.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
I am sympathetic with poor old Todd. He must be on in years and a much loved ol' cat. Old cats develop funny personalities.They don't mind entertaining family members as long as they can have their space and freedom.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
Todd definitely had his quirks and his routine of creature comforts. Just give him delectable, and I might add, expensive salmon. A little warm sunlight coming into the kitchen must have suited him just fine.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
Daily he ate and then fell asleep. Missing from his regimen was protecting his toes. While Todd dreamed of salmon, a sneaky thief made his way into Todd's domicile. Todd knew something was missing. He began sleeping on his toes to protect them. He had been warned he might lose all of his toes if he didn't take heed. The reader would appreciate some investigation to find out who or what the thief is.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Todd

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
Language usage is acceptable. Some thoughts on punctuation and grammar follow below under Suggestions..

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
A sleepy old cat luxuriating before and after salmon and dreams.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
Notes:
mark not marked
time not times
gathered not would gathered
sleep, not sleep
Passing, not pasting
Todd not Todd,
respond not response
"Fish fiddle! You guys..." not "fish fiddle you guys..."
meal, not meal
asleep not asleep to
eyes not eye's
again missing not now missing again
Promised not promise
he was not he's
Toes, maybe even not toes maybe even

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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1149
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi! Naveedsk! I am GerMac from the Newbies Academy Group. I am here to review your article entitled "Spring is no more". Please use my suggestions as you see fit.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
This article laments modern day artificial intelligence and money. The preferred lifestyle is from the writer's Grandma's era.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The theme of this article speaks about better days gone by: days of lush green trees, rivers, forests, and animals. The writer's ancestors cut down trees, spoiled rivers and forests and reduced the number of animals to half.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
In the writer's grandma's day there was a much better life. The writer feels it was the last good life. Wind and melody made the atmosphere and they danced in the garden until their hearts were content. Today spring lasts for one or two months. Summer is scorching with heat waves. Only rarely does it drizzle. In Caceres where the writer's grandparents went for their anniversary, there were two million cherry trees. The city was designated 'world heritage'. The city was to be preserved. The ancestors destroyed the trees and the city. They didn't keep their promise to future generations. If ancestors had cared, there could be a better life today. How might you apply this today?

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
N/A

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
Language usage, punctuation and grammar are quite acceptable.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
I like the idea of a preserved city. Perhaps the idea of preservation can be re-enacted in Caceres and enacted in other cities in the future. Does this seem feasible to the writer?


*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A

Thanks for sharing

Regards,

GerMac


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1150
Review of At the Horizon  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here to review your short story. Please use my suggestions as you see fit.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
This short story speaks of the beauty and love in a young mother's heart for her deceased daughter.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
This short story takes place at the beach. The writer asks how a person would feel to be lost with water and sky surrounding you in a great abyss.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
How many people have been seduced by the sound and look of the ocean. ..'only to be jolted right back to reality when its icy tendrils grabbed at their feet'?

The young mother climbed to the top of the cliff and looked at the view below her. She was on top of the world. The waves crashed. She could hear the wind saying over and over again,.."Jessa!" The young mother wanted to give her deceased daughter a special view of the ocean and all of the surfers her daughter's age since her child would never be able to see this for herself.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Young mother
Surfer girls

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
Language, punctuation and grammar are quite well done. Very expressive descriptions.


*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
The vivid descriptions of the ocean scenes.



*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A

Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute to your daughter.

Regards,

GerMac

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