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2,457 Public Reviews Given
2,459 Total Reviews Given
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I'm good at evaluating the writer's creative statement or message. If there is no statement, the piece seems disconnected and it's difficult to see the purpose. Many readers would question whether there is a purpose at all. I'm good spotting language usage and grammar, punctuation and spelling problems. If corrections are needed, I'll point them out to you under suggestions.
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Public Reviews
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1001
1001
Review of In Solitude I Sit  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Intuitive WhiteWalker! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem speaks of solitude and thinking about memories.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Screams of delight are heard which might be interpreted as whispers. You dream and reminisce about days of old. Most memorable to me is the following: Your husband and you were an island.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Your unrhymed, unmetered poem has some nice imagery.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1002
1002
Review of Poetry ?  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sue! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes what poetry means to you.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem speaks to me and says poetic words are your voice. The words leap from your heart onto the pages. You have a sense that you'll achieve the many things you believe. Most memorable to me is the following: "The hope one day I'll make my mark." Your poem has a delightful, upbeat tone and pace. Poetry lifts your spirits too and sets you and your reader free.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. You have used personification effectively, eg out from my heart, onto the page. I visualize many words jumping and leaping out of your heart and onto the page, a bit cartoon like! Good rhyme pattern and smooth flow of words.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1003
1003
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Most memorable to me is the following: "That is the reason why today A poet now I am.
Losing your wife, you say, is like losing your own life, like having a heart that is not beating. Distress has overtaken your life. When grieving, you thought it would be a good idea to write poetry. That's what she did when upset and that's why you're a poet today. Congratulations on finding a soothing way of dealing with a horrendous problem.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar, punctuation. Your use of word order is effective and enhances rhyme. Rhyming pattern and smooth flow of words.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1004
1004
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tim! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem speaks about what it takes to win a ballgame, eg football.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
We celebrate accomplishing lofty goals which are now considered within easy reach. When we are forced to give up the ball, our best players have to move forward to win the game,"It's only a game" is a trite statement. In reality, our most talented players win the ball game. Most memorable to me is the following: We rely on the most talented players to recover the lost ball and score for the win.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme sprinkled through poem. Smooth flow of words.
Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1005
1005
Review of Ben's  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem speaks to me about kitchen wit, funny or not.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This poem is humorous. It is about nine friends sitting together at Ben's Restaurant and having the honor of Ben joining you and bringing his kitchen wit and a live chicken with him. Suddenly, Ben's hand was bitten. Most memorable to me is the following: "And the hand meant to feed us got bit."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. A rhyme pattern graces this limerick.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1006
1006
Review of Explore  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes your baby as the baby is growing up and the parent's instinct to keep the child then teenager out of harm's way.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your baby becomes a carefree kid, then older and bolder. Now driving a car a long way from home. You speak of your desire to hold the young person in your arms to protect him, but you can't do this anymore. Most memorable to me is the following: You realize you have to let go and and let the young person explore. I understand what you're going through. I've been there myself!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar, or punctuation. There is a rhyme pattern in your poem and unmetered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1007
1007
Review of The Sea Of Love  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Janetd! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas of watercolor used to express vivid thoughts over centuries of sorrow. The title is appropriate! "The Sea of Love" describes tears that no longer have sorrow because they are all together not with sorrow but with love.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Tears came many different sorrows, eg Civil War, Vietnam War. Finally many tears got together and formed the sea of sorrow, now a family in God's hands. Most memorable to me is the following: The thought that we're all a family in God's promised land. I found your poem interesting to follow. It seemed the tears were soldiers and families, all networking in a society..

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or jpunctuation. Rhyme is sprinkled throughout your poem and the rhythm creates a smooth flow of words in a nice cadence. You have used a type of personification, giving each teardrop a human essence.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1008
1008
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jamel's! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about a broken heart. What makes a broken heart?

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This poem speaks of tears and what is behind the tears. Is it anger, rage, hatred or trapped by a broken heart. Most memorable to me is the following: What is behind the emotion? Is it love?

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme pattern and unmetered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann
1009
1009
Review of America  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Poole! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem speaks of melting pots and gumbo pots.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your outlook is creative, as you speak of America being not a melting pot, but a gumbo pot where everyone is distinguishable. Most memorable to me is the following: The reference to perceptions of the past and present.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar, or punctuation. Unrhymed, metered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1010
1010
Review of Worthy Of A Rose  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi janeld! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas of watercolor which paints a picture of your love for your mom.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You ask that your mom be sent home once in. a while, so you can kiss one cheek if only in your dreams. She was taken too early. Most memorable to me is the following: You speak of your mom, saying she deserved a rose although you were just a weed...So many of us growing up are weeds or perhaps thorns to our moms, but moms understand you're just spreading your wings and trying to learn.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme is sprinkled throughout poem of metered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1011
1011
Review of The Manicurist  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi BeastWriter! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about the "mani-curist" part of the job.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
A manicurist will tell you that having their fingernails manicured is often the only joy a person can afford. She wonders if clients have their fingernails done so they can talk about heavy or light subjects. At any rate she listens. Most memorable to me is the following: "Sometimes she is a "many-curist". Helping heal wounded souls". She listens (with a capital L) to each client, trying to be helpful.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Well-written.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1012
1012
Review of Autumn  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Joy! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem provides a canvas of color which paints a picture of a beautiful autumn day.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Most memorable to me is the following: "a lonely heart breaking in the bare arms of oaks." The tone and feeling of your poem is melancholy. I feel that way about autumn too. Even the shrill wild geese in flight give me a meloncholy feeling.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors by errors in language usage, grammar, and punctuation. You have used personification effectively, eg the brook is sluggish like the sap as if it is awakening. I love your vivid expression! Nice.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1013
1013
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a watercolor to paint vivid expressions of thank you, not goodbye to your sister.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Lucy has given you self-confidence and made you proud. She has broadened your horizons and been your soulmate on this incredible journey. Most memorable to me is the following: "...For making me feel alive."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme sprinkled throughout your poem of unmetered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1014
1014
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Winnie! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas of watercolor for painting vivid expression about the last baby bird to leave the nest.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The fledgling spread his wings and flew to reach the destined shore. Most memorable to me is the following: Laughter fills those who hear the fledgling fly by. His brothers four hold him dear as he flies by.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language, grammar or punctuation. Lovely rhyme pattern and smooth flow of words.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1015
1015
Review of Free the Poet  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas for painting a watercolor of vivid expression of freedom writing poetry.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your scribbles out-do you pen. Freedom happens when you have an emotional release and the poet speaks from within. Most memorable to me is the following: Spontaneity allows for the most colorful expression.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme is sprinkled through poem of unmetered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1016
1016
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your articles. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, make them your own.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This article discusses Neil Armstrong's first words as he stepped on the moon.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The article reports that Neil Armstrong pretty much what he wanted to say when he stepped onto the moon. "One step for a man. One giant leap for mankind." Peter Shann Ford from Australia pointed out that his sensitive electronics equipment.said he left out the syllable 'a'. The newest equipment says he said what he says he said in the beginning. Most memorable to me is the following: The most current research now says that Neil Armstrong said what he originally claimed to have said.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Suggestions: N/A

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1017
1017
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Presley! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review your short story. Please use my suggestions as you feel is appropriate. *Heart*. If they make sense, feel free to use them.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
Your story is an exceptionally humorous presentation of Peter Clement's private thoughts while experiencing an interview for his big break in the career world.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting takes place in the Human Resources Department at Hanover Keen, traders on Wall Street in New York.

The theme of the story is retaining your composure and playing your cards rightduring an interview.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
From the private world of Peter Clement I heard the comment, "There goes my geek. Gotta think shark here." That comment told me computer systems engineers are important to Wall Street. Traders rely on them. Mako chewed on his thumb throughout the interview to the point of making it bleed all over his trousers. The contrast in propriety expected of Peter and the crude demeanor by the Human Resources employee was enough to bring any reader back, especially if you have some knowledge of how the system works. More, please, in Chapter Two!

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Peter Clement, up and coming new computer systems engineer
Vince Mako, Human Resources Department
Hal - Recruiter

Dialogue is effective and easily understood.

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Paragraph 2: wondered should be wandered. Paragraph 8: useem should be seemed.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most Memorable to me is the following: The very humorous description of Peter's private thoughts during his interview with Vince Mako from Human Resources.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A

Thank you for sharing.

GerMac
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1018
1018
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Presley! I am GerMac, affiliated with the Newbies Academy Group. I am here to review your story. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Heart*. If they make sense to you, feel free to use them.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
The Surf Aces play the second show in a Long Island bar called the World. They run into a Christian band that plays Christian alternative music.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting takes place in a van on the way to a gig in Long Island and in the World, a bar, dance hall and stage that holds many people. The theme of the story is different types of gigs.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
There is tension between two groups...the Surf Aces and a couple members of the Christian alternative music group. There were very few patrons in this huge hall.Caleb wanted his money back. He wasn't interested in hearing the Surf Aces and wanted to listen to the Surfaces. There was no physical conflict. Soon the Surf Aces were on their way to Manhatten.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Surf Aces band members Mike, Merc, Gib, Thaddeus
Ralph's and partner, Greg...gig promoters
Greg, and Caleb, members of Christian alternative music group
Swedish Psychobilly Group

Dialogue is effective and easy to follow and understand, captures the readers' attention.

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. You should check the spelling of the word fazed.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most Memorable to me is the following: It appears that the second show is the second billing. Not much in the way of an audience this time of night. The group will have to work its way up the ladder to get a first show billing.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
You have built some tension so I'm interested to know what happens in Manhatten, Chapter Two, perhaps.

Thank you for sharing.

GerMac
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1019
1019
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Gus! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is descriptive and also a tale of a squirrel. There is a moral to that which is unstated. Does this poem remind you of anyone?

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The squirrel got tired of acorns and honey, revved up his cycle and went to get money. He robbed the bank in his camouflage green cycle. With the money he bought bundles of acorns. The law came and collared him, not for robbing the bank but for littering. Most memorable to me is the following: I ask myself why the squirrel would throw away his acorns and buy bundles more acorns. This almost reminds me of some human beings I know. Good plot development. I love poems that tell a story. Your poem deserves a lot of thought.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar. I think our poem needs some explanation as to why the squirrel wasn't reprimanded for robbing a bank.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1020
1020
Review of Beautiful  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Stormy! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is like a watercolor, a backdrop for you to describe a beautiful woman, unlike so many other things.

{ke:idea}--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Beautiful she is in a most unusual way. Like the sunset, she is stunning. Like a shooting star, she is rare. Like a cloud on a rainy day, she is refreshing. Unlike flowers, she is too beautiful to pick. She is like a shooting star...I see her as rare. Most memorable to me is the following:

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Some nice imagery.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann


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1021
1021
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi BD! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to honor you with a review of your short story. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Heart*. If they make sense to you, feel free to use them.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
Your short story paints a curious picture of a clocksmith who decides to investigate an occurrence in which a man's life is at stake.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting of Chapter One takes place at home, in Charlie and Ben's flat and in Ben's family's clockworks shop.

The theme of your short story portrays Ben as a bit of a "mad scientist," who is thoroughly absorbed in his work.
'
*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
Ben shows signs of being a Walter Mitty by some of his absent-minded professor antics. He dismantles the electric carriage in the middle of the street and gets caught by a police officer doing it. He conducts clock experiments in the living room. Plumpocket, wealthiest man in Britain, and the inventor of a triple piston steam compressor has his whole house running on clockwork to the point the family could not get out of the house. Ben, after a conversation with Charlie, decided if he never faced danger to help a man whose life was at stake, he would never discover what makes life "tick". He makes plans to meet Captain Durwood to investigate the problem at the Manor and take notes so Charlie can write a story. This is a good transition. I'll be watching so I can read about Durwood's plan in the next chapter.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Ben, clocksmith, works at his family's clockworks shop in London.
Charlie, protagonist and Ben's roommate, writer

Dialogue: Dialogue is effective, easy to follow and furthers the storyline with vivid mental pictures and good plot development..

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in language, grammar, or punctuation. Vivid plot development and description kept me on the edge of my chair.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most memorable for me is the following: Charlie and Ben's conversation that leads Ben to the decision to help the man whose life is at stake.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A

Thank you for sharing.

GerMac
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Review of The Wanderer  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Steve! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your essays, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This essay is a canvas for painting a watercolor about a frightening experience you had in the middle of nowhere.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
I have been caught in a storm in the middle of nowhere, so I can sympathize with your experience. In the country where you don't know anyone you really appreciate refuge, especially when you meet with warmth and feel invited. To wake up in the middle of the night and fear a person was watching you sleep is frightening. The police could be called in to seek answers to questions. Most memorable to me is the following: The boy's mum passed out at the driver's wheel as they were getting ready to leave. A person wonders what caused this. Was it exhaustion or fear of the figure watching them or what? Questions are left here. You could consider having an investigation.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, gramma, or punctuation. Descriptive passages are vivid.

Suggestions:
had seen the figure, NOT had saw the figure.


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1023
1023
Review of Beauty of Bozeman  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Caleb! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas of color to paint a scene of nature in June, but looks to the future for an obscene sight..

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Melodies of birds and wind in trees, cool damp air in low hanging leaves. Life's colors are vibrant and there is a journey on a well.beaten path? Most memorable to me is the following: In the near future "Homes tower like trees, asphalt roads like streams. A sight near a obscene, unlike anything.".

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Your description is vivid. Rhyme pattern is fairly good until the end. Rhythm creates a good flow of words and a nice cadence.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1024
Review of Doggie Time  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi Wakeupandlive! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review your piece, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Thiis piece is about a teddy bear of a dog who runs, jumps, and slides as well as puppies do. He is playful and protective of his owner.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Poor dear Moses! He is out of sorts after a day at the vet's, getting two molars extracted. He was put under narcosis for this procedure. Dogs many times are capable of sleeping 12 to 15 hours a day. Moses felt a need to sleep more. Sleep and rest he did. Fortunately, he didn't appear to have any side effects.

He is typically friendly to people and unfriendly to other dogs, although an occasional dog can get his attention; he becomes fully focused in watching the dog, but loses interest and falls asleep again. After his trip to the vet, he spent all his time sleeping and resting, then enjoying soft food for a day, eg, chicken breast. Most memorable to me is the following: Hearing of Moses' youthful play habits.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar, and punctuation. Suggestions: You might relate some specific incidences in Moses' life, perhaps humorous tales.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1025
1025
Review of Chapter 1  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi. Meghan! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here to review your story today, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Heart*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them. I am just another writer. Your comments are the comments that count.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
Your story of the tales of a single mom is written in a very humorous manner. Your comments are serious, but you end each one of them with a bit of Irma Bombeck type humor.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting of the story takes place in the hospital. The theme of your story is about a young single mom who had great expectations of the perfect family of mom, dad, 2.4 children, a tabby cat and and a white picket fence. You discover you dreams are mainly just dreams, as you had a dog, not a cat, no picket fence and no children to date.


*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
I appreciate how tough times were, as you had no family when you gave birth to Lucas,. Jason, Lucas' dad, left for another woman, your mom died and your dad had no interest in you. Jason wanted nothing to do with Lucas. The nurse, Agatha, helped you stand up for the first time after giving birth. Much to your dismay you fell on the floor and couldn't get up by yourself.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Abigail, mom of Lucas
Lucas, newborn baby
Jason, neborn's dad
Jennifer, Jason's new love
Agatha, nurse

Dialogue: Dialogue is effective and easy to follow.

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. The use of humor is exquisite. Seems like there's a laugh a line, even when the comment is serious,

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most memorable to me is the following: q Abigail is very courageous and "keeps a stiff upper lip" despite all of her tragedies.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
It seems that you should have more to say about your fall in order to create a transition to the next chapter.

Thank you for sharing.

GerMac
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