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2,457 Public Reviews Given
2,459 Total Reviews Given
I'm good at...
I'm good at evaluating the writer's creative statement or message. If there is no statement, the piece seems disconnected and it's difficult to see the purpose. Many readers would question whether there is a purpose at all. I'm good spotting language usage and grammar, punctuation and spelling problems. If corrections are needed, I'll point them out to you under suggestions.
Favorite Genres
Inspirational, Family, Children, Educational!, Music, Contests, Nonfiction, History, Politics, Legal
Least Favorite Genres
Adult, Dark, Death
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Poetry, Short Stories, Essay, Article, Prose
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Public Reviews
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1001
1001
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tim! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes what it takes to be part of a team.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The game win might be within reach and you might be lucky to play,. You don't want your chances and efforts to slip away. Most memorable to me is the following: hard work, dedication, practice, and humor indicate you love the game.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1002
1002
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Intuitive WhiteWalkers! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes a dreamland, an adventure where Anshel appears in your dreams and battles evil.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Most memorable to me is the following: "A being of bold stature stood glowing in its own light..." Anshel is the bold creature who saves mankind from evil. He helps you in your dreams.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme is sprinkled through poem. Nice flow of words.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1003
1003
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Prosperous Snow (Neva)! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the importance of music in society.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Love songs meet the light of distant stars. We love only the moments when music rises from our souls and out of our spirit's desire to live. Most memorable to me is the following: If all pursue wealth and power, who will be left to sing the songs and writ the odes?

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Nice imagery, eg light of distant stars. Rhyme is sprinkled through your poem. Rhythm creates a good flow of words.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1004
1004
for entry "Invalid Entry" Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jeannie! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes a woman's experience with her fancy long lemony Cadillac one night.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Driving around in your Cadillac was like a nightmare with all the stares you got from the young men. You then realized you had ended up a hundred miles from Madellia, your home town. You decided you'd stay home and be happy about it after that incident. Most memorable to me is the following: I can understand your desire to stay close to home.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation.
Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1005
1005
Review of Coyote Waits  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
H Turtlei I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about a coyote's cunning and setting of traps.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The coyote has an instinct to feed.i Most memorable to me is the following: This is only an instinct. He knows his target and chooses carefully.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Unrhymed and unmetered verse.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1006
1006
Review of In Solitude I Sit  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Intuitive WhiteWalker! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem speaks of solitude and thinking about memories.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Screams of delight are heard which might be interpreted as whispers. You dream and reminisce about days of old. Most memorable to me is the following: Your husband and you were an island.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Your unrhymed, unmetered poem has some nice imagery.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1007
1007
Review of Poetry ?  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sue! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes what poetry means to you.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your poem speaks to me and says poetic words are your voice. The words leap from your heart onto the pages. You have a sense that you'll achieve the many things you believe. Most memorable to me is the following: "The hope one day I'll make my mark." Your poem has a delightful, upbeat tone and pace. Poetry lifts your spirits too and sets you and your reader free.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. You have used personification effectively, eg out from my heart, onto the page. I visualize many words jumping and leaping out of your heart and onto the page, a bit cartoon like! Good rhyme pattern and smooth flow of words.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1008
1008
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tim! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem speaks about what it takes to win a ballgame, eg football.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
We celebrate accomplishing lofty goals which are now considered within easy reach. When we are forced to give up the ball, our best players have to move forward to win the game,"It's only a game" is a trite statement. In reality, our most talented players win the ball game. Most memorable to me is the following: We rely on the most talented players to recover the lost ball and score for the win.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme sprinkled through poem. Smooth flow of words.
Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1009
1009
Review of Ben's  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem speaks to me about kitchen wit, funny or not.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This poem is humorous. It is about nine friends sitting together at Ben's Restaurant and having the honor of Ben joining you and bringing his kitchen wit and a live chicken with him. Suddenly, Ben's hand was bitten. Most memorable to me is the following: "And the hand meant to feed us got bit."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. A rhyme pattern graces this limerick.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1010
1010
Review of Explore  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes your baby as the baby is growing up and the parent's instinct to keep the child then teenager out of harm's way.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your baby becomes a carefree kid, then older and bolder. Now driving a car a long way from home. You speak of your desire to hold the young person in your arms to protect him, but you can't do this anymore. Most memorable to me is the following: You realize you have to let go and and let the young person explore. I understand what you're going through. I've been there myself!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar, or punctuation. There is a rhyme pattern in your poem and unmetered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1011
1011
Review of The Sea Of Love  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Janetd! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas of watercolor used to express vivid thoughts over centuries of sorrow. The title is appropriate! "The Sea of Love" describes tears that no longer have sorrow because they are all together not with sorrow but with love.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Tears came many different sorrows, eg Civil War, Vietnam War. Finally many tears got together and formed the sea of sorrow, now a family in God's hands. Most memorable to me is the following: The thought that we're all a family in God's promised land. I found your poem interesting to follow. It seemed the tears were soldiers and families, all networking in a society..

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or jpunctuation. Rhyme is sprinkled throughout your poem and the rhythm creates a smooth flow of words in a nice cadence. You have used a type of personification, giving each teardrop a human essence.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1012
1012
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jamel's! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about a broken heart. What makes a broken heart?

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
This poem speaks of tears and what is behind the tears. Is it anger, rage, hatred or trapped by a broken heart. Most memorable to me is the following: What is behind the emotion? Is it love?

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme pattern and unmetered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
1013
1013
Review of America  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Poole! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem speaks of melting pots and gumbo pots.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your outlook is creative, as you speak of America being not a melting pot, but a gumbo pot where everyone is distinguishable. Most memorable to me is the following: The reference to perceptions of the past and present.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar, or punctuation. Unrhymed, metered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1014
1014
Review of Worthy Of A Rose  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi janeld! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas of watercolor which paints a picture of your love for your mom.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You ask that your mom be sent home once in. a while, so you can kiss one cheek if only in your dreams. She was taken too early. Most memorable to me is the following: You speak of your mom, saying she deserved a rose although you were just a weed...So many of us growing up are weeds or perhaps thorns to our moms, but moms understand you're just spreading your wings and trying to learn.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme is sprinkled throughout poem of metered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1015
1015
Review of The Manicurist  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi BeastWriter! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about the "mani-curist" part of the job.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
A manicurist will tell you that having their fingernails manicured is often the only joy a person can afford. She wonders if clients have their fingernails done so they can talk about heavy or light subjects. At any rate she listens. Most memorable to me is the following: "Sometimes she is a "many-curist". Helping heal wounded souls". She listens (with a capital L) to each client, trying to be helpful.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Well-written.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1016
1016
Review of Autumn  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Joy! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem provides a canvas of color which paints a picture of a beautiful autumn day.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Most memorable to me is the following: "a lonely heart breaking in the bare arms of oaks." The tone and feeling of your poem is melancholy. I feel that way about autumn too. Even the shrill wild geese in flight give me a meloncholy feeling.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors by errors in language usage, grammar, and punctuation. You have used personification effectively, eg the brook is sluggish like the sap as if it is awakening. I love your vivid expression! Nice.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1017
1017
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a watercolor to paint vivid expressions of thank you, not goodbye to your sister.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Lucy has given you self-confidence and made you proud. She has broadened your horizons and been your soulmate on this incredible journey. Most memorable to me is the following: "...For making me feel alive."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme sprinkled throughout your poem of unmetered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1018
1018
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Winnie! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas of watercolor for painting vivid expression about the last baby bird to leave the nest.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The fledgling spread his wings and flew to reach the destined shore. Most memorable to me is the following: Laughter fills those who hear the fledgling fly by. His brothers four hold him dear as he flies by.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language, grammar or punctuation. Lovely rhyme pattern and smooth flow of words.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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1019
1019
Review of Free the Poet  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas for painting a watercolor of vivid expression of freedom writing poetry.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Your scribbles out-do you pen. Freedom happens when you have an emotional release and the poet speaks from within. Most memorable to me is the following: Spontaneity allows for the most colorful expression.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme is sprinkled through poem of unmetered lines.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1020
1020
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your articles. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, make them your own.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This article discusses Neil Armstrong's first words as he stepped on the moon.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The article reports that Neil Armstrong pretty much what he wanted to say when he stepped onto the moon. "One step for a man. One giant leap for mankind." Peter Shann Ford from Australia pointed out that his sensitive electronics equipment.said he left out the syllable 'a'. The newest equipment says he said what he says he said in the beginning. Most memorable to me is the following: The most current research now says that Neil Armstrong said what he originally claimed to have said.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Suggestions: N/A

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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1021
1021
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Presley! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review your short story. Please use my suggestions as you feel is appropriate. *Heart*. If they make sense, feel free to use them.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
Your story is an exceptionally humorous presentation of Peter Clement's private thoughts while experiencing an interview for his big break in the career world.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting takes place in the Human Resources Department at Hanover Keen, traders on Wall Street in New York.

The theme of the story is retaining your composure and playing your cards rightduring an interview.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
From the private world of Peter Clement I heard the comment, "There goes my geek. Gotta think shark here." That comment told me computer systems engineers are important to Wall Street. Traders rely on them. Mako chewed on his thumb throughout the interview to the point of making it bleed all over his trousers. The contrast in propriety expected of Peter and the crude demeanor by the Human Resources employee was enough to bring any reader back, especially if you have some knowledge of how the system works. More, please, in Chapter Two!

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Peter Clement, up and coming new computer systems engineer
Vince Mako, Human Resources Department
Hal - Recruiter

Dialogue is effective and easily understood.

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Paragraph 2: wondered should be wandered. Paragraph 8: useem should be seemed.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most Memorable to me is the following: The very humorous description of Peter's private thoughts during his interview with Vince Mako from Human Resources.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A

Thank you for sharing.

GerMac
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Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Presley! I am GerMac, affiliated with the Newbies Academy Group. I am here to review your story. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Heart*. If they make sense to you, feel free to use them.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
The Surf Aces play the second show in a Long Island bar called the World. They run into a Christian band that plays Christian alternative music.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting takes place in a van on the way to a gig in Long Island and in the World, a bar, dance hall and stage that holds many people. The theme of the story is different types of gigs.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
There is tension between two groups...the Surf Aces and a couple members of the Christian alternative music group. There were very few patrons in this huge hall.Caleb wanted his money back. He wasn't interested in hearing the Surf Aces and wanted to listen to the Surfaces. There was no physical conflict. Soon the Surf Aces were on their way to Manhatten.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Surf Aces band members Mike, Merc, Gib, Thaddeus
Ralph's and partner, Greg...gig promoters
Greg, and Caleb, members of Christian alternative music group
Swedish Psychobilly Group

Dialogue is effective and easy to follow and understand, captures the readers' attention.

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. You should check the spelling of the word fazed.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most Memorable to me is the following: It appears that the second show is the second billing. Not much in the way of an audience this time of night. The group will have to work its way up the ladder to get a first show billing.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
You have built some tension so I'm interested to know what happens in Manhatten, Chapter Two, perhaps.

Thank you for sharing.

GerMac
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1023
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Gus! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is descriptive and also a tale of a squirrel. There is a moral to that which is unstated. Does this poem remind you of anyone?

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The squirrel got tired of acorns and honey, revved up his cycle and went to get money. He robbed the bank in his camouflage green cycle. With the money he bought bundles of acorns. The law came and collared him, not for robbing the bank but for littering. Most memorable to me is the following: I ask myself why the squirrel would throw away his acorns and buy bundles more acorns. This almost reminds me of some human beings I know. Good plot development. I love poems that tell a story. Your poem deserves a lot of thought.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, punctuation or grammar. I think our poem needs some explanation as to why the squirrel wasn't reprimanded for robbing a bank.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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Review of Beautiful  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Stormy! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is like a watercolor, a backdrop for you to describe a beautiful woman, unlike so many other things.

{ke:idea}--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Beautiful she is in a most unusual way. Like the sunset, she is stunning. Like a shooting star, she is rare. Like a cloud on a rainy day, she is refreshing. Unlike flowers, she is too beautiful to pick. She is like a shooting star...I see her as rare. Most memorable to me is the following:

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Some nice imagery.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi BD! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to honor you with a review of your short story. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Heart*. If they make sense to you, feel free to use them.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
Your short story paints a curious picture of a clocksmith who decides to investigate an occurrence in which a man's life is at stake.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting of Chapter One takes place at home, in Charlie and Ben's flat and in Ben's family's clockworks shop.

The theme of your short story portrays Ben as a bit of a "mad scientist," who is thoroughly absorbed in his work.
'
*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
Ben shows signs of being a Walter Mitty by some of his absent-minded professor antics. He dismantles the electric carriage in the middle of the street and gets caught by a police officer doing it. He conducts clock experiments in the living room. Plumpocket, wealthiest man in Britain, and the inventor of a triple piston steam compressor has his whole house running on clockwork to the point the family could not get out of the house. Ben, after a conversation with Charlie, decided if he never faced danger to help a man whose life was at stake, he would never discover what makes life "tick". He makes plans to meet Captain Durwood to investigate the problem at the Manor and take notes so Charlie can write a story. This is a good transition. I'll be watching so I can read about Durwood's plan in the next chapter.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Ben, clocksmith, works at his family's clockworks shop in London.
Charlie, protagonist and Ben's roommate, writer

Dialogue: Dialogue is effective, easy to follow and furthers the storyline with vivid mental pictures and good plot development..

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in language, grammar, or punctuation. Vivid plot development and description kept me on the edge of my chair.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most memorable for me is the following: Charlie and Ben's conversation that leads Ben to the decision to help the man whose life is at stake.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A

Thank you for sharing.

GerMac
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