\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gmacintyre/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/41
Review Requests: OFF
2,457 Public Reviews Given
2,459 Total Reviews Given
I'm good at...
I'm good at evaluating the writer's creative statement or message. If there is no statement, the piece seems disconnected and it's difficult to see the purpose. Many readers would question whether there is a purpose at all. I'm good spotting language usage and grammar, punctuation and spelling problems. If corrections are needed, I'll point them out to you under suggestions.
Favorite Genres
Inspirational, Family, Children, Educational!, Music, Contests, Nonfiction, History, Politics, Legal
Least Favorite Genres
Adult, Dark, Death
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories, Essay, Article, Prose
Least Favorite Item Types
Survey Polls
I will not review...
Explicit Sexual Display, Erotica, Murder and Crimes
Public Reviews
<    ...  37  38  39  40  41  42  43  44  45  46  ...   >
1001
1001
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi BD! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to honor you with a review of your short story. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Heart*. If they make sense to you, feel free to use them.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
Your short story paints a curious picture of a clocksmith who decides to investigate an occurrence in which a man's life is at stake.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting of Chapter One takes place at home, in Charlie and Ben's flat and in Ben's family's clockworks shop.

The theme of your short story portrays Ben as a bit of a "mad scientist," who is thoroughly absorbed in his work.
'
*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
Ben shows signs of being a Walter Mitty by some of his absent-minded professor antics. He dismantles the electric carriage in the middle of the street and gets caught by a police officer doing it. He conducts clock experiments in the living room. Plumpocket, wealthiest man in Britain, and the inventor of a triple piston steam compressor has his whole house running on clockwork to the point the family could not get out of the house. Ben, after a conversation with Charlie, decided if he never faced danger to help a man whose life was at stake, he would never discover what makes life "tick". He makes plans to meet Captain Durwood to investigate the problem at the Manor and take notes so Charlie can write a story. This is a good transition. I'll be watching so I can read about Durwood's plan in the next chapter.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Ben, clocksmith, works at his family's clockworks shop in London.
Charlie, protagonist and Ben's roommate, writer

Dialogue: Dialogue is effective, easy to follow and furthers the storyline with vivid mental pictures and good plot development..

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in language, grammar, or punctuation. Vivid plot development and description kept me on the edge of my chair.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most memorable for me is the following: Charlie and Ben's conversation that leads Ben to the decision to help the man whose life is at stake.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
N/A

Thank you for sharing.

GerMac
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1002
1002
Review of The Wanderer  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Steve! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your essays, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This essay is a canvas for painting a watercolor about a frightening experience you had in the middle of nowhere.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
I have been caught in a storm in the middle of nowhere, so I can sympathize with your experience. In the country where you don't know anyone you really appreciate refuge, especially when you meet with warmth and feel invited. To wake up in the middle of the night and fear a person was watching you sleep is frightening. The police could be called in to seek answers to questions. Most memorable to me is the following: The boy's mum passed out at the driver's wheel as they were getting ready to leave. A person wonders what caused this. Was it exhaustion or fear of the figure watching them or what? Questions are left here. You could consider having an investigation.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, gramma, or punctuation. Descriptive passages are vivid.

Suggestions:
had seen the figure, NOT had saw the figure.


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
{image::2087160}


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1003
1003
Review of Beauty of Bozeman  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Caleb! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas of color to paint a scene of nature in June, but looks to the future for an obscene sight..

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Melodies of birds and wind in trees, cool damp air in low hanging leaves. Life's colors are vibrant and there is a journey on a well.beaten path? Most memorable to me is the following: In the near future "Homes tower like trees, asphalt roads like streams. A sight near a obscene, unlike anything.".

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Your description is vivid. Rhyme pattern is fairly good until the end. Rhythm creates a good flow of words and a nice cadence.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1004
1004
Review of Doggie Time  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi Wakeupandlive! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review your piece, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Thiis piece is about a teddy bear of a dog who runs, jumps, and slides as well as puppies do. He is playful and protective of his owner.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Poor dear Moses! He is out of sorts after a day at the vet's, getting two molars extracted. He was put under narcosis for this procedure. Dogs many times are capable of sleeping 12 to 15 hours a day. Moses felt a need to sleep more. Sleep and rest he did. Fortunately, he didn't appear to have any side effects.

He is typically friendly to people and unfriendly to other dogs, although an occasional dog can get his attention; he becomes fully focused in watching the dog, but loses interest and falls asleep again. After his trip to the vet, he spent all his time sleeping and resting, then enjoying soft food for a day, eg, chicken breast. Most memorable to me is the following: Hearing of Moses' youthful play habits.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar, and punctuation. Suggestions: You might relate some specific incidences in Moses' life, perhaps humorous tales.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1005
1005
Review of Chapter 1  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi. Meghan! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here to review your story today, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Heart*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them. I am just another writer. Your comments are the comments that count.

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
Your story of the tales of a single mom is written in a very humorous manner. Your comments are serious, but you end each one of them with a bit of Irma Bombeck type humor.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting of the story takes place in the hospital. The theme of your story is about a young single mom who had great expectations of the perfect family of mom, dad, 2.4 children, a tabby cat and and a white picket fence. You discover you dreams are mainly just dreams, as you had a dog, not a cat, no picket fence and no children to date.


*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
I appreciate how tough times were, as you had no family when you gave birth to Lucas,. Jason, Lucas' dad, left for another woman, your mom died and your dad had no interest in you. Jason wanted nothing to do with Lucas. The nurse, Agatha, helped you stand up for the first time after giving birth. Much to your dismay you fell on the floor and couldn't get up by yourself.

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Abigail, mom of Lucas
Lucas, newborn baby
Jason, neborn's dad
Jennifer, Jason's new love
Agatha, nurse

Dialogue: Dialogue is effective and easy to follow.

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. The use of humor is exquisite. Seems like there's a laugh a line, even when the comment is serious,

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most memorable to me is the following: q Abigail is very courageous and "keeps a stiff upper lip" despite all of her tragedies.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
It seems that you should have more to say about your fall in order to create a transition to the next chapter.

Thank you for sharing.

GerMac
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1006
1006
Review of Breath and Skin  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes a symbiotic relationship that must exist.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You feel you are being exposed for what you are. You support illusions for gain and experience for profit. The truth displayed is a side-effect. You live through each other, but your partner means nothing to you. Most memorable to me is the following: "an unknown symbiotic relationship that must exist".

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Good flow of words and rhyme is sprinkled throughout your poem. Suggestion: You don't mean nothing should be you mean nothing to me; otherwise, you have a double negative which is actually positive.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1007
1007
Review of Sweet Poison  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Ms. Luna! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
You have painted a canvas of color which describes what losing your partner does to you.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You opened your heart and now you feel foolish to have done so. You remember "Raindrops pouring with my tears." Most memorable to me:
"This pouring rain is singing,
Letting me sleep and stop dreaming."
Rain does create some peacefulness. I'm sure listening to it helped you.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar and punctuation. Rhyme is sprinkled throughout the poem and rhythm creates a smooth flow of words.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1008
1008
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You speak of venturing into the pumpkin patch. A wiitch.casts a spell with lights. Most memorable to me is the following: "
"Light casts its glow illuminating marks
The witch does use to cast a spell..."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Very nice rhyme pattern and rhythm. Imagery is excellent. .

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1009
1009
Review of Write Freely  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Lifeaholic! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a plea for honesty.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You ask your friend for unrestricted words of the heart, life's transparency and words filled with fresh air. Most memorable to me is the following: "I'd like to think your words will fill my soul ~ giving me wings for finding freedom." Honesty and freedom are quite a match and what most people work for and appreciate in others.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Your poem is unrhymed and unmetered.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1010
1010
Review of On Mother's Day  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Brom21. I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about a mother/son relationship on Mother's Day.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
A true mom is as you described her...one who wipes tears and soothes fears, rears you in the Lord's way and takes care of you no matter how old you are. Most memorable to me is the following: "but I know even when you leave me behind, My soul will hold you and you will shine." That's a wonderful message for a son to think his mom will always be beautiful.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Nice rhyme pattern and smooth flow of words.
Suggestions: Line 1: me NOT my
Line 17: Add word how.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1011
1011
Review of I Notice  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jace! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas for painting a picture for your poem written for your wife, Laura.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You say that your wife has noticed your shell. You notice the expression on her face when she talks to others about you. You don't know why she loves you You notice her. Most memorable to me is the following: "I feel the love you have for me."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Suggestions: N/A

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1012
1012
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tim! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the poet's thoughts about the bright side of a worsening market condition.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You relate that the sweetness of blossoms lessens with economic hardship, We count our blessings as business worsens, eg it could be worse! Banks are not lending as blossoms reach for the sky. The sweetness of blossoms cannot endure recession. And then blossoms have a new beginning in the spring. Economy starts improving again. Most memorable to me is the following:

"Our massive hardship we will learn
is filled with flagrant strife;
But blossoms claim their spring-like turn,
Our financial reward in life."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. Well-written and subtle piece. Nice job.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1013
1013
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lou! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes a web of deceit experienced by a lover in a relationship.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You have done a very good job of painting a canvas of color which depicts dirty, impure spider legs and webs. ,A cobweb of deceit clings to your face and that is what your relationship amounts to, all the while saying "I love you. Trust me." Most memorable to me is the following: "...soft threads that become the ropes that moored me"

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar, punctuation. Effective imagery. Nice placement of poem.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1014
1014
Review of Born To Write  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Intuitive White Walker! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes how poetry calms your soul.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
I agree. Writing poetry helps a person get their story out, write a song and other soothing experiences. The mind does work full time when one is trying to express himself. Most memorable to me is the following: Journaling in the middle of the night helps you write your innermost thoughts.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Suggestions: N/A

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1015
1015
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi CB! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review your short story. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Heart*

*Bulletg*- MY OVERALL IMPRESSION: -
Your short story goes back 25 years, so Dawn must have left an indelible experience with you.

*Bulletg*- SETTING/THEME:-
The setting is the high school campus and the bus on a field trip. The theme of your short story is perhaps required but unacknowledged love in high school.

*Bulletg*- PLOT/HOOK: -
You hook your readers with that shy, mysterious, tormented crush that high school boys get. The plot focuses on a treasured time of being chosen by Dawn to let her rest her head on your chest and you both fall asleep. As you got older, did you kick yourself for not taking the opportunity to get to know her? I'd say the plot points out how young people do not know how to engage in conversation. Can you expand on this by showing another time when you were more adept in conversation?

*Bulletg*- CHARACTERS/DIALOGUE:-
Dawn and CB
There was no dialogue, part of being a gangly teenager.

*Bulletg*- LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR:-
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Some nice imagery and description.

*Bulletg*- MOST. MEMORABLE:-
Most memorable for me: a couple of high school kids whose hormones were jumping all over the place.

*Bulletg*- SUGGESTIONS:-
You might want to work on the plot and get a storyline going.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1016
1016
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ekant! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your articles, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If they make sense to you, please feel free to use them.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This article is a comparison of positive and negative thinking.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You have stated that thoughts, feelings and actions of the human mind interact with each other in a direct or indirect way. Some are positive and some are negative. Positive thoughts get positive or desired results. Negative thoughts are hard to manage and control. Negative thinking interferes with emotional, mental and physical well-being of a person. Many with negative thoughts can appear to be positive. Those who have negative thoughts need to focus on a program to get rid of the negative. If you have positive thoughts, there is less room for negative thoughts. Most memorable for me is the following: Create a program for yourself to bring about positive thinking. I read a book entitled Psychocybernetics years ago and found it valuable from a teacher viewpoint. Also Thoreau's Walden Pond provided good insight on behavior management.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Suggestions: You have a thorough outline included with the article. Is that to be considered an appendix?

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1017
1017
Review of A POEM A DAY?  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Nbnelson2! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*. If it makes sense to you, please feel free to use it. I found your poem in your portfolio. I enjoyed visiting it.

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about counting your blessings when you are looking for a thought worthy of poetry.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Most writers can identify with your feelings of having nothing to say, not even a game or a gloomy thought comes to mind. There's no idea or theme until you find that empty cup. Most memorable to me is the following: "This is my poem, All I've written today." There you have it...an empty cup that might have been full of coffee, now empty, you now have the makings of a book of poems if you're going to describe counting your blessings. Up to you!

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. This free verse poem is sprinkled with rhyme throughout the poem. Rhythm creates a nice flow of words and a smooth cadence. Suggestions: You might think of dividing your poem into three stanzas, perhaps, thus making the pacing of the poem more dramatic and providing a hook for threader's focus. Ah me, ah me should read as "Ah me! Ah me! I finally say." The exclamation point shows emotion.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1018
1018
Review of Miss Beazley  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi flyfishercacher! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your pieces, I found Miss Beazley in your portfolio and fell in love with her innate intelligence! Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This piece is about a wise old alley cat and some teenagers who chase her down the alley.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The theme of your piece is "a big game hunt" in which three teenage boys chase a poor old alley cat for sport. Most memorable for me is the following: I really enjoyed your relating of Miss Beazley's intelligence and how she brings the teenagers out and shows their lack of intelligence. She is far beyond them. She draws their fire out and hides in the basement and finally leads them to the end of the alley. They think they are chasing her. You have many nuances in your story...for example, she does a time and distance problem to make sure she gets in the right spot at the right time. This is quite satirical. They fire and accidentally hit the cop standing behind her. You really capture the alley cat in her environment of the tenements, restaurants and bars. Trash cans and graffiti covered brick walls that are dimly lit and complete with a dumpster for each business set the scene. Great job.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. You have some effective imagery, for example, ..."sliver of late afternoon sunlight..." Suggestions: Have you thought of using third person omniscient where there are two distinct points of view communicated rather than a narrator present? You might enjoy hooking your reader that way, although your style is also effective.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1019
1019
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi MelanKolik Ben! I am GerMac, affiliated with Newbies Academy Group. I am here today to review one of your articles. I found this article in your portfolio and was interested to read about prejudice. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This article is about the causes of prejudice and what can be done to rid society of prejudice.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
The theme of your article in my opinion is as follows: Can prejudice be removed or is it within us by evolution? You have been creative in your presentation by showing several causes, but you're even more creative in your innovative approach to solving the problem of prejudice in society. First of all, I like what you have to say about the causes, along with examples. Causes to consider follow: 1) ignorance, which can bring about emotions of disgust and anger, and worse yet, violence. 2). Feelings of superiority; thereby, refusing to associate with the so called lower class. 3). Misinterpretation and interpreting tenets of religion, for example., in their own way. Insecurity and their roles played in society and a resulting lashing out. 5). Evolutionary tendency where their own thoughts are based on prejudice. You logically conclude that to rid ourselves of violence and war, the people have to understand themselves and others. Acceptance of each other is the answer and must come from the people of society.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in grammar, punctuation or usage. Suggestions: In the first paragraph you could re-word the sentence to read "...leads to the question: Can prejudice be removed or is it within us..."
Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1020
1020
Review of Family Recipes  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Pumpkin! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review your article , Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This article is about one families' food over generations.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Most memorable to me is the following: Your relating of making fruitcakes, a process that takes several days. You do a wonderful job of describing the importance of new foods and the old favorites that connect your family to the past. It is so true that we remember our loved ones by the foods they make. How important to our health to have good foods no matter what the financial and emotional problems there might be. I like how you feed bodies and hearts too. There's always room at the table.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Good information to share!

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1021
1021
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about a gardenia's journey to its new home.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Most memorable to me is the following: (I love this line. It's quite neighborly.). "I even have neighbors, my best friend's a zinnia, But I smell sweeter 'cause I'm a gardenia."

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Imagery is excellent, eg "bask in the glow Of sunshine and blue sky and breezes that blow." Personification is effective and.makes me think this is a talkative little gardenia! Suggestions: setting should be sitting because the gardenia is thought of as human.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1022
1022
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Prosperous SnowI. I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about storms and how they compare to life's difficulties.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
Most memorable to me is the following: Just when it seems the soul can take no more and it will curl up and die, the sun comes shining through.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Rhyme is sprinkled through your poem of unmetered lines and free verse.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1023
1023
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tim! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about a love relationship.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-{/b
Most memorable to me is as follows: "A oneness only a few souls on Earth have ever witnessed." You have an unusual love between you in that you never feel separated by distance or extremes. How envious others are of your genuine peace and serenity..

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. This free verse poem is sprinkled with rhyme. You might want to count the syllables in your lines, and read your poem aloud, for a smoother flow of words.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1024
1024
Review of My Mother's Hands  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Huntersmoon! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about the poet's recollection of mother's hands and lines on her body. The poet still feels her hands of comfort on the shoulder.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-{/b
Her strong hands met demands to protect the family. Her hands showed love, never pride. Most memorable to me is the following: Lines on her body might speak of duty, but to the poet they shine with beauty.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Wonderful rhyming pattern. It is a pleasure to read your poetry.


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1025
1025
Review of Stand Firm  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi nhisgrace! I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your pieces, Please use my suggestions as you see fit. *Smile*

*Butterflyb*-- OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This is a devotional of prayer.

*Idea*--THEME/CREATIVITY:-
You paint a canvas of color to express your desire to stand firm against Satan, a sly but intelligent weasel who tries to kill and steal. You say you do not wish to disappoint your Heavenly Father, who has restored love to mankind. We need to stand firm.

*Pencil*-- TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in usage, grammar or punctuation. Suggestions:N/A. Most memorable for me: Staying away from temptation.
Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
{bittem:1300305}


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1,256 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 51 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gmacintyre/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/41