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26
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Review of The Active Eye  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I marvel at your skill, specifically because I cannot nor have I tried to compose this kind of poetry. I love how you ended with the last stanza. It is so apt and it encompasses all that comes before it! The last line is unique. The soul is the template for all the emotion and occurrences you showed. Nice utilization of larger, more illustrative words. Happy WdC anniversary!



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Review of Mow the Lawn  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Below, your words are in parenthesis mine are not.


With what you have here, if the lawnmower is broken, what is Jimmy doing for hours?
(After hours later Jimmy sat down exhausted.)

In this part, even after reading it a few times over, I do not know what Jimmy is "turning over."
(It turned it over so he could see.)

Excellent visual transition!
(It was almost sundown.)

I would reword this to sound less choppy. Maybe something like-"...a few less harmful plants."
(...and a few other plants that could hurt a lot.)

Here, omit the word "itself." It conserves words.
(The grass itself was about up to his waist)


I was not sure if Jimmy died at the end. I would go back and reword this. I would also love to see more of this. It was creative. Thanks for sharing! God bless!

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Review of The Changing Tide  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a sobering, enlightening narration! You relate very well. As I trust you know, God is the biggest thing to rely and and gain solace from. But even positive change can mull us over when we don't see it as being so. My single mother went through hard times and uncertainties but God always came to the rescue. Thank God for your brother. A lot of people cannot rely on family, sad to say. The father of my best friend's mom did little to help her in time of need. But she does not yet know God as her helper. Thanks for the article! God bless!




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Review of Winter Impact  
Review by brom21
Rated: E | (4.0)
I loved this! Each line was filled with sultry, entrancing flow. My favorite lines were these-



the azure-white skies ring in
a pictures of palm fringed-
beaches of the Caribbean.


I can clearly see and hear a beach with lovely, swaying palms and a soft blue hue in the skies with white cirrus clouds ribboning across. Though I did not get a sense of cold until the end. In any case, I compliment you on a poem well written! Best of luck in the contest!
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Review of Why I Write  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have been told an author writes for themselves and then for others. The latter is when we edit our stories. This piece shows you are a writer! Although this is not fiction, essay-type writing is driven by the same force. Practice makes perfect and it's half the battle. Wonderful work and happy WdC anniversary!



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Review of FLY  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! This such a wonderful and artful display of internal faith in God. You put in so much into this brief narration. And it is so encouraging to be reminded that we are all made in God's image and we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Nice use of simile too! I think the eagle is the ultimate symbol of freedom and life. Did you know the eagle is one of the four faces of a cherub? Cool, huh? Great job and happy WdC anniversary!



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Review of My Psalm  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anything like this deserves a perfect 5 stars! God bless my sister! Your boldness and sincerity is quite admirable and it is so sobering and a breath of fresh air. Do you read Christian fantasy? would you like to take look of the first chapter of my novel? I would love your input! God bless once again!



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Review of A Kitten Calls  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This was very cute. It was more of a snapshot of a few scenes than a story. But that is fitting considering the brevity of this piece. The thing that came out for me were these brief but affective few words. "...and comforting the little kitten, that started purring. It was soft and fuzzy..." For some reason I could really sense this feeling. Feel is something that usually does not affect me in writing. The only thing I found out of place was when you said they found a twelve-week year old kitten. How did they know it was exactly that age? Maybe you could have said it looked to be twelve-weeks old. I thought this was a charming little story. Happy WdC anniversary and write on!



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Review of Even Now  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This was a very powerful message portrayed wonderfully. It is sad how people have to come to the end of themselves to come to God. The ultimate one is death like you said. And if God does save them, they rarely fulfill the promise they made to God if He did save them. This was very moving and I enjoyed it. May god bless you! Happy WdC anniversary and write on!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I have never been in a relationship before, but this makes me leery of having one. lol. This reflects the saying "Better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all." This was well written and did get a sense of how lost love lingers in the mind. I imagine it to be somewhat nostalgic in that regard. By the way, this is the first review I have done in a vey long time. Your piece was quite stimulating after all these months. Great job and happy WdC anniversary!


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Review of Letter  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a beautiful poem. Even though I had to read over it a few times slowly, I was hooked with just the sound and melody of the fleeting verses. The door is the door of the heart, the soul, being discribed as "mother" is the seat of the emotions and a source of warm affection. Most importantly, the letter is the request and courting of another person. Am I right? I find this relatable to the haiku wich is not subject to ryhming or meter. I wish I could compose such work. lol. Great job and happy WdC anniversary!




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Review of The Dream  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
How sweet! You touched my heart. Eveything was in snyc; the beginining was nice and forthcoming, easy to picture, hooked the reader with the mysterious dream, and was fittingly brief. It's hard to write good flash fiction in my opinion. Yours was great even though it was very, very short. I noticed there was no spelling or grammar blips. Kudos for that! Great job and happy WdC anniversary!



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Review of FAMILY  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece of yours is well written. I like how you really REALLY delveinto all the aspects of what familly means. This line is one of my favorites-

That there are people all over this big universe of ours sending her love – probably a blur.

I like it because it is simple and sad at the same time because we often miss the natural love God made in the universe.

The last stanza is very powerful and concludes the explication quite nicely. One thing I notice is your fluidity and smooth transition from one concept to the next. Did you do any revicions or was this a single draft? All in all a great read!


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Review of The revenge  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
I've never done flash fiction before but I imagine it's hard. I want to point out a few things that are easily fixed. For instance, below there is no indication as to where the screeching is comming from.

"Hello" Nikhil knocked on the half closed door. The only reply was the screeching noise.

One way to fix this is to say that the door opens a bit.

Here a "the" should go after "got."

Nikhil's curiosity got better of him and he walked in,

With this little blip, "step" should be "steps." Honestly though just omit "of is." It flows better.

The wooden floor creaked with each of his step.

Concerning this paragraph, first omit "chillingly." It is superfluous. Next, drop the "to" after "the white curtains. Following this, you spell Nikhil's name differently. Finally, the second sentence is garbled. Following the comma of the second sentence, perhaps you could have ",that made Nikhil wonder why he thought to enter after the door behind him slammed shut."

Nikhil felt a chillingly cold breeze blowing in from the open door, making the white curtains to flutter. The air outside was absolutely still and hot, making Nikil wonder should he have come in when the door behind him slammed shut.

This paragraph is the last correction I will make. First, omit the first comma and put "as" between "startled" and "his." To put it in simple terms, the second sentence is stilted. How can Nikhil get up when he is still stuck in something? finally I will point out that what you have after the last comma is understood. By this time it is obvious he knows he is stuck.

Nikhil Stumbled back startled, his leg got stuck in something making him fall with a loud crash. Nikhil got up hurriedly, wanting to get out of the house, but he realized his leg was stuck in a hole on the wooden floor. .

There are problems with the dialog, but a quick re-read will expose them. I think a good look over will greatly improve your work. Happy WdC anniversary.



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40
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This poem was bruataly expressive and raw. The description of weeping painted a painfully glorious image. But at the same time it was tender and full of compassion. The ending was very captivating. It made a simple statement of understanding and peace. Where did you get the inspiriation to write this? Nice poem and happy WdC anniversary!



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Review of Color Blind  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I love the parallelisms of how some people look at society as one monotonous, plain everyday hum drum face value grind. Sometimes one must look behind the curtain to see the marvelous, colorful lifeforce that echoes across reality. I also like how you state in the line fourth from the bottom that you have to look at the technical, basic aspect as well. A good example of your viewpoint is culture which the most diverse and dazzling thing much like the hues of a rainbow. Great poem!




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Review of The Sound  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow! What an enthralling story! This definately had professional tenor to it. This kind of has the feel of Stephen King. I see this has been reviewed many times which adds up to a deserved 4.5 stars. Sorry if I seem over complementary. I really can't find room for improvement. I would have liked to have known what the noise really was. Was it all in his head? Anyway, I loved being in Ryan's noggin. Happy WdC anniversary!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love works that are short and sweet. I always say such pieces linger in the mind. Your lines were brief too, which adds to the overal retention and experience of poem. It was a little stilted with some lines such as the fifth and sixth lines. It may have something to do with meter. But, like I said, I enjoyed this poem. I hope this was encouraging and helpful. Happy WdC anniversary and have a happy Sunday!



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Review of One Last Tale  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I think you did quite well with this. It was an interesting spin with the time travel element. When I understood what Barns and Ashcroft were I was curious. The concept of going back in time to retrieve stories yet to be published is neat but also pretty cruel too. lol. Forgive me for not giving any real constructive feedback for improvement. I spent almost half a year with absolutely no reviewing and I kind of got out of my critiqueing mentality. Good job with the majority of the dialog being apt and succinct. It helps to get what is being said and the white space is easy on he eyes. Happy WdC anniversary man!



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Review of My Whimsy  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hmm...this was a peculiar poem. But your piece was not lacking in my opinion. This had good imagery I thoroughly enjoyed! The ending was nice with the brief conveyance. I love shorter poems becuase they stick in the mind more than longer ones. The title was very fitting too. I hope you have a good WdC anniversary! God bless!



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Review of La Luna  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was a lovely poem! I really got lost in the emotional reverie of it all. And, like the moon itself, your piece lingers in my mind. It would have been cool if you used the natural proccess of the moon's gravitational on the oceon as some kind of metaphor. I imagine you could comeup with something very easily. I could come up with some things. Keep up the great work! God bless!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was really nice. The sentence-by-sentence format worked well. For some reason when you mention "Paul" I thought of Paul the Apostle. lol. Don't know where that came from. The brevity of your piece only adds to the allure and senetimant of the woman narrating the occurrence. You did a good job by leaving the story open-ended with the woman's undecided mind. Happy WdC anniversary and keep writing!!


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48
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I haven't reviewed anything on WdC for eons. But I totally loved this. I liked the bleak features and the doomed peson's brooding over his own dilema. You had a very unique ending segment with the man being concsious when he was decapitated. If everything was fading and it was not death, what exactly happens to him? My favorite part was with the old bearded man and the silent communion with the convict-very emotional! I would have liked to have known what the man did precisely. Great stuff. Keep writing!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a stellar poem for sure!I love the transitions of rhyme schemes. I did have to read it over twice to get two people were having a conversation. I think the long lines kind of did that. Nevertheless, they did add a rather than take away from the poem overall. So kudos for that. lol. I love the brevity of the last line. It left me forlorn and I had this fleeting sense of emotion. I will say this will be tough to beat. Good luck for tomorrow!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The following are my own observations and opinions that are intended to improve your work. Take and leave what you will. Below, your words are in parenthesis mine are not.


This review is done to celebrate your WdC anniversary! Congratulations!


Very nice story! It was short but you managed to create a sulky, melancholy scene illustrated with pungent description. I like how there is a psychological distance between the reader and the person. It really reinforces the man’s dejection; he’s all alone. One thing you obviously did well was getting in the character’s head – nice job with that! Not to be redundant, but this had a lingering, nostalgic color to it, if you would. Anyway, I like this a lot and I hope you keep up the good work! Happy WdC anniversary!






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