First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
Hello there,
I first want to thank you for entering the
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1219865 by Not Available.
. I am the judge this round for the contest. I hope that you do come back for future rounds of the conetst.
I think that this is an awesome "prayer" to have written for your "Precious Gift!" I am hoping that this was not written about someone personally you know. I love the imagery the imagery through out the whole poem. My favorite part was the description of the Angel and how she helped her friend through the whole time to save that person from attempting their life I supposed.
Feeling the feathers as our read how soft they are gave a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. I love the descripton of her face, and how delicate of her hand when you reach hers represents how awesome you friendship will always be! Knowing that she was going to be there to help you no matter what is awesome! Friendship's are the best to have when you have no one else to turn to. I hope that your "angel" will always be there for you no matter what!!!
Keep On Writing, Sharing, Creating, and Reviewing on WDC!!! Good luck in this round with the contest. Please come back and show your work in future rounds!
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Don't forget there is "Under 12 Months Group A" when you have graduated from "newbie" but less than a year old here on WDC!!!
This review is being done as part of "Invalid Item"
Punctuation/Spelling: Nothing noticeable in this poem.
Grammar: Review content over grammar...
Plot: I think that you have done a better job with this Haiku! I could picture it as I was reading this. I love the picture that this placed as I was reading the descriptions of your words.
Setting: The rose is beautiful in that crystal vase. You really have an improved on this wonderful poem! You definitely kept with the traditional nature theme with this as you described the rose.
Characters: n/a
General Comments: I am so happy that you have improved with this new haiku, please let me know when you have written more haikus! I hope that you are entering this into some of the contests that are on WDC!
Punctuation/Spelling: Nothing that I could see with this.
Grammar: Nothing tha I could see but I review on content over grammar.
Plot: Assuming that this is a haiku since you have not really recognize what the form is.
Setting: Well I am not sure what to say about the setting of this. I would like to point out that when you put your poem in the intro when you read about this is not really interesting when you go to read the poem.
Characters:n/a
General Comments:
Honestly in the intro it was alot better than in the body of the static item. I would think that if you would put it up like that you would have a better way of describing in this actually of this. What happened here is that you took the poem and put it in the body again.
I really think it looks good under the title with the commas and all. I also think this needs a little more emotion of showing the singing leaves besides with the "Zephyr"! I hope to read this again.
Haiku's are full of imagery and about the picture that it give you when you read this. I write haikus because I love to take a picture and see if I can have the reader see what I have wrote about. I have two in my port that are from Two different Georgia O'Keefe painting. If you look at all my reviews from them everyone has a different picture of what they have seen while reading them.
I hope that you do not think that I am just "picking" on you when I do these reviews with your haikus, I am not. I am just hoping this helps you with writing these more. I personally think you have alot of talent but you are trying to hard to do these. This takes away from the poem you are trying to have us read.
Traditional Haiku's are about nature, but you have to have it flow right when reading this to make them work. Keep on Writing! If you ever need help you can email me on these. Or just take a look in my port to see what I have in there. I am not saying that I am the best at these, but the ones I have done are some of the best ones I have in my port. I do not put them in my port until I think they are ok to be in there...
Here is review 12 of 20 from the Wild Card Review Contest that you have won! Black Willow has done a great job on this. The only real problems I see is that the Color of the font is a little hard to read against the "darkness" of the header! I think that you should have a "dearker" description about this image so when some one comes to look at this they will have some idea on what to expect.
I think if you really use some of the imagery and emotions that you put intoy your poetry all your folders, images, and the whole port will be awesome. I do remember that they wanted to see more "word painting" then just the images for the Theme Port contest!! I think you could place in the contest. I really wish you the best of luck! Keep On Writing!!!
This is review eight of 20 in the Wild Card Review Contest. I was again hoping that with all your images that you would have one of them on the folder or a wonderful "dark" folder header or a favorite image on here! I have to say that you and I do have one thing in common! Once I get my port settled, I think you will realize that I have a image, siggie, cnotes collection too! Mine of is mostly Butterflies! My kids each have a collection to that I get for them too!!
This folder I think just needs a little more TLC, An awesome header, and your wonderful emotional imagery and it will be perfect!!! I do wish you luck with your Themed Port Contest!!! Keep On Writing, Creating, designing, and helping WDC!!!
Staine this is review three of 20 for the wild card port raid! I think that you have a great start in the Themed Port contest! I think that this was a great way to show that you have a "lighter" side of your dark poetry. The description really lets you know that this is going to still be dark, but the "happier" side.
I wish you the best of luck this time around in the Theme Port. I think you have an awesome chance of winning!!! Keep On designing your Port!
Punctuation/Spelling: Just a few minor errors that maybe spell check did not catch.
Grammar: Not one to really say on grammar since I am not the best in that.
Plot: This had a surprise for the ending. I really did not expect what had happned...do not want to say becuase it will spoil the story! You do keep the reader attention through this...
Setting: Starting off from her house and then until before school when the gift was given...
Characters: Tom, Sarah, Mrs. Johnson, and Sarah's mom...two others but that will give away the ending...
General Comments: This story is awesome...I was really surprise about the ending that happens...I hope that you will be adding more to this cause I would like to see what happens with Tom and Sarah! Awesome imagery!!! You could picture perfectly...
There are some spots that I would really add more emotion too. Like the Kiss, ending-you can feel if you picture it, but just reading it, needs a little! Tom and Sarah watching Tom and Jerry cartoons, and he leaves...add little emotion to that part and it will get the reader really picturing this!
I Really think this is an awesome story! Hope to read more if you continue this into a book or collection of stories!!!! Keep On Writing!!!
Punctuation/Spelling: I think that there were some minor mistakes that spell check probably did not catch.
Grammar: Nothing that I could see that was popping out.
Plot: Taking a shy girl who mets a "biker" guy that is not your everyday "social class of the biker guys." Father and mum approving!
Setting: Church, Pub, Pete's Apartment, and Jenny's house
Characters: Caroline,Cassandra. Pete, Jim, Jenny, her father and her mother.
General Comments: I have to say that the story did start off a little slow then slowly became something that you would want to read more. I think taht you could have put a little emotion when Jenny and Pete go to her parents house and was worried that they would forbid her. Also a little more detail about Cassandra and the cult. How did it get started? Why were they there? How come Cassandra was the one who was involved!
THe imagery in this was good. I think if you show more emotion in the different spots. Also more detail into the whole deal with Cassandra, you will have awesome imagery then! Keep ON writing!!!
General Comments: Rebecca this is a great article about being A full-time mother and a writer! I have to commend you to be able to do both. I knowt hat Iti s hard for me to do both and I put my writing to the side. I think taht you are awesome and I know that you are awesome at your writing!! I will definitely look at this again for tips! Cause I know if you can do it, so can. I hope that you place in the contest too!!!
Keep On Writing!!! Keep On Helping!! You Rock!
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
I have to say that i am not sure what this really about as I had to read this 2 times. Is this about addiction to watching TV no matter what is on. Or was it something else! I hope that I can read this aGain later and review it again. It might be me that does not understand for sure what you are writing about...Keep On Writing...
Plot: interesting way to add the audio to your lyrics.
Setting: not sure what the setting is supposed to be honestly.
Characters: soldiers-US and England-
General Comments: I am not sure how to take this cause you have added the audio to hear the lyrics, but reading the lyrics you do not get the same feeling as you are singing...I think that the emotion is not in the owrds as you had written in this as I taking this as a poem...YOu can see the imagery in this...you can hear it when you listen to the audio. I just think you need to add more to this as you read through this with out the audio...Keep On Writing!!
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
Awesome essay wrote about "Where I'm From,"! You did a great job with the imagery as you have described where you are from! The only thing I think that would help this, maybe would be a little more emotion shown through out this! OTher than that, this is awesome!
I really enjoyed reading this, and love that you have gone from homeless and projects to where you are now. If you look in my port, I have a few different pieces on being homelessness and poverty!
Characters: NOt really sure cause I could not get past the first few paragraphs.
General Comments:
I really feel like this could have had better opening! You need to get all that line spacing from your title and author to the actual story. The really is not much "catchy way" to get the readers attention! Keep On Writing...
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
Here is the fourth review of the four! I started to review another one then I saw this in your port. So I went to see this, first of all, I want to say Congrats on that special gift of an upgrade! Thats one of best gifts here on WDC to receive. I hate to tell you, but no one is going to tell you who gave it to you! That is why they are anomynous. hehe!! I can say that I did not, but would have nominated you if I would have known about it to get one!
I am glad that you are having a wonderful time here at WDC, and yes this site is very addictive! I have to come here and check on everything before I start my day!!! I am so glad that you are part of WDC and Angel Army! Here is a ((((hug)))) from one angel to another!!!! Keep On Writing!!!
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
This is your third review of four that you have won with your auction prize that you have won. I love this because it is short sweet simple. You can see the imagery as you read this too. Many of us suffer from weight gain and the lack of confidence. Keep On Writing!!
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
This is the second review of four from your auction prize you won. I have to say that this is a beautiful poem that you have wrote. I love the imageery in this from the descriptions of the clouds as they change from clear to stormy clouds.
AS I can see there are no grammatical errors. As I read this, the words and pauses all flowed naturally as you read this poem. I will be back after I am done with all my other obligations to review more of your port! Keep On Writing! Keep On helping with Angel Army!
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
This is the first of three reivews that were gifted to you from you best friend and fellow member mars! The campfire is a cool idea to do as an on going poem! Out of all the campfires that I have reviewed, think this is the first time I have seen a poetry campfire! The poem has so much description in it with lots of imagery! All the participants of this campfire have vivid descriptive ideas for this to keep going. I have to say that it does take time to keep a poem going with a group. You and your friends have nailed on the spot! I hope to visit back more often to see what has been added! This Campfire ROCKS!! Keep On Writing!
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
I think that you have an awesome newsletter! I will definitely be reviewing Black Willow's port since it is the port of the month! I think that you have a great newsletter that everyone needs to read!!! I will try to refer otherz to want to read this! I will be adding my contests next month if they end going well! Keep On HElping OThers!!!
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
My step mom is one of the biggest Stephen King Freaks! I know most of these and still second guessed them. Go figure I would be the onely who would click "Ft.Wayne, IN" on for where is was born, since I lived there for 7 years! hehe! Thinking that I really did hear that! That tells you how horrible my memory is! YOu did an awesome job on this quiz! Where did Ft. Wayne,IN come from as an answer? Just wondering since I saw that! Keep ON Quizzing every one!!
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
First of all, I want to thank you for bidding on my donation for the auction I was in. I hope that my reviews will help in many ways! After reading this I had to giggle. I love the description from of life with the "clown." Using "gum" to describe your emotions! I also giggled at this to!
I have only a few suggestions with the poem. One, I would add more of comical description in this since you are using "clown" and "chewing gum" in this! I would add more imagery so that you can see more of the melody of autumn. I am sure that this may be more descriptive when it is not in English, so I understand the differences in words.
Thank you for letting me get a chance to read this! You did a great job with writing in this in english! Keep On Writing!!!
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
I have to say this poem really lets you know how much the word "Love" is really abused. Your descritptions of the words in this and the imagery from the poem is great! I think that you have nailed the topic right on!
I think that everyone does at one time really think that they do love the person that they are saying "I Love You" to the one they really do love. Then slowly they realize that they really do not mean it. I believe that they do not want to hurt the person they are telling this too!
You have convinced me that others still say this without meaning it! I hate to see young teens, who fall for that word! Most of them end up coming out with more than lost girl or boyfriend! Even as adults we fall for that word, and say that we are not going to do it and still do!
I really appreciate you writing this! Keep On Writintg!
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
I think at first I thought was going to be a true "ghost writer" advertising! Then as I read I was laughing becuase it was cute how you said that you were not "casper" cartoonish like! That to me was the best part of the item. Honestly, I would definitely hire you as my "ghost" writer! Keep On Writing!!
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
Honestly, I am not sure what this piece is about. I think that I could picture the paper what you were trying to show how 911 had killed so many and the whole inccident is just blended like words are in the paper! Please let me know if that is right! I hope to see more of you work when yuo add more to your port! Keep On Writing!!
Judity, this was a really sweet story! Unfornately with my girls, they have already had their first kisses in kindergarden! Of course I had to catch them in the act...It was so cute becuase the little boy goes it was her fault!hehe!! These are the best memories to remember. Now for my first kiss , I would have to say it was when I was 17! Being a tomboy, I Did not believe in doing girly things! I had my first boyfriend then! Keep On writing!!! Love reading your stories!!!
I have to tell you that this is an awesome way to show that everyone in god's eyes are equal to equal to each other! I love the imagery in this with the descriptions! I could picture it perfectly! I hope to visit your port more! I am really curious to read more of your work! I think that you have hit that as an awesome theme. Today with the war, religion is a problem in USA and the Middle east! I really do love this poem how you have nailed that the water will be give you eternal Life!! I hope to be back to your port!
Keep On Writing!!!!!! Keep On Thinking of Others!!!!
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