First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Konstanz Bleeg talking to the room. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The conversation and interaction among the characters builds the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: Konstanz Bleeg is an intriguing and sympathetic characters.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this amusing story because it made me smile.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with multi-colored liquid coming out of someone's mouth. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace.
Suggestions: A word choice in this phrase, monitors was behind him. I suggest changing was to were because there are multiple monitors.
I like: The descriptions of how the DeathBringer kill his victims is creative and well-written.
Final thoughts: This is a creative and intriguing story. The interaction among the characters held my focus.
First Impression: The second paragraph hooked me with the speaker needing the baby setting job. The speaker moves the narrative forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: My favorite part of the story is the speaker finding the talking marble. I like that part because it made me smile.
Final thoughts: The first person voice and point of view are good choices for this story because they reveal the speaker as a sympathetic character.
First Impression: Adriana the first paragraph hooked me with Adriana hiding in her secret place. The description are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The metaphors and similes are fresh and descriptive. I especially like this simile plans spun in her mind like a spider's web.
Final thoughts: I am giving this well-written story a 5.0 because the action kept me focused on the characters and the movement of the plot.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Jimi leaving the bar. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The climax is my favorite part of the story. I like the climax because it suggested hope.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of Jimi, he is an intriguing and sympathetic characters.
First Impression: The poem follows the stated form and looks good on the page. The rhythm moves the narrative and emotions of desire forward at a good pace.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: This is my favorite line, with a wonderful, magical, miraculous, mystical coffee bean caffeine. I like this line because of the alliteration.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this poem because of the subject .
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the exhausted mage going to sleep in front of the fire. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The climax surprised me because I did not expect the mage to open a door in the side of the mountain.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the mage.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with males having nothing to say worth hearing. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems..
I like: I found this story intriguing, thought-provoking, and a bit troubling.
Final thoughts: This is an intriguing concept. Have you considered using this story as part of a novel based on this subject
First Impression: The poem follows the form and looks good on the page. The first person point of view and voice is a good choice because it shows the broken emotions.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The third and fourth lines are my favorites because the emphasize the emotion of depression.
Final thoughts: I am giving this well-written poem a 5.0 because of the way it shows emotion.
First Impression: The descriptions are part of the actioon and move the plot forward at a good pace. The conversation among the characters build the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The conversation among the characters kept me focused on the movement of the plot.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the characters.
First Impression: The second paragraph hooked me withe Walter’s statement. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The conversation and interaction among the characters builds the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: Walter is an intriguing and sympathetic character.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of Walter.
First Impression: The description of the guy talking in the first paragraph hooked me. The speaker moves the narrative and plot forward at a good pace, while making the description part of the action.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems. I am looking forward to reading the next part of this serial,
I like: This is my favorite simile, as inconspicuous as a pair of rhinos in ballet. I like this simile because it is fresh, descriptive, and visual.
Final thoughts: I am giving this exciting and well-written story a 5.0 because of the active descriptions, which kept me focused on the movement of the plot.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with someone going away. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: My favorite part is about the child holding up the plane because she had to go to the bathroom.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of its emphasize on friendship.
First Impression: The eight foot kittens hooked me. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The antics of the eight foot kitten made me smile, because it was typical kitten behavior.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this amusing story because of the kittens.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Molly growling. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: Reading about Molly is my favorite part of this story.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed this story because of Molly.
First Thoughts: The first paragraph aroused the reader's curiosity about the things that have made the author's walk through life better. The rest of the essay gives the reader an indication of why the three things make the author's life better.
What I Like: My favorite suggestions is about focusing on one's own thoughts. I like this suggestion because it is something many people have difficulty doing.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems. My only suggestion is to write another essay about focusing on one's own thoughts. Does one begin with prayer to help focus?
Final Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this item, because of the three suggestions.
First Thoughts: The first paragraph hooked me with it being an ordinary day in Helensburgh. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
What I Like: My favorite part of this story is the climax, because it taught a lesson.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
Final Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of time standing still.
First Thoughts: The first paragraph hooked me with Paige remembering the day Donnie left. The speaker moves the narrative and plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
What I Like: The diary entry was a good choice for this story, because it shows the speaker's emotions.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems. My only suggestion is to make this part of a book about Paige's struggles.
Final Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story, because it was a diary entry.
First Thoughts: The first paragraph hooks the reader with the way the planet was destroyed. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The interaction among the characters builds the suspense.
What I Like: The description of Chris, as a mountain man, does a good job of revealing his character to the reader.
The climax is my favorite part of the story, because it was a surprise.
Suggestions: In this phrase, had heard not of, I suggest switching the positions heard and not, so that it reads not heard.
A typo in this phrase, boulders’ tare apart, I suggest changing tare to tear.
Final Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this intriguing story because of the interaction of the characters.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Taylor's statement. The speaker moves the plot forward at a good pace. The conversation among the characters build the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: This is my favorite sentence, To this day, death metal and a screaming baby sound the same to me. I like this sentence because it made me laugh.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the characters.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the couple hurrying through the parking lot. The woman's statement in the second paragraph reveals a great deal about the couples relationship. There are definitely issues in the marriage that is causing estrangement.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The second paragraph is my favorite because it reveals something about the couple's relationship.
Final thoughts: I am giving this story a 5.0 because of the way the couple's relationship was revealed.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the mysteries. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: My favorite part of this story is the question at the end, because it gives the reader something to think about and meditate on.
Final thoughts: I am giving this thought-provoking story a 5.0 because it made me definition of a martyr's death.
First Impression: The poem follows the free verse form and looks good on the page. The poem's first stanza hooks the reader, while establishing the mood and theme. The main emotion of this poem is anger.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The descriptions in this poem mirror the emotion of anger, without specifically stating the poem's emotion.
Final thoughts: I am giving this well-written poem a 5.0 because of the way it shows the emotion of anger.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the village that safe guarded the tallest peak. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems. I am looking forward to reading more of this story.
I like: The climax arouses the reader's curiosity about what happens next. I like William because he is an intriguing and sympathetic character.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this chapter because of William.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the debate topic. The author moves the narrative forward at a good pace, while keeping the reader's attention on the debt.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The last paragraph is my favorite because it closed the debate with the lesson the author learned.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the debate.
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