First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the woman's stillness in the crowd. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: My favorite paragraph is paragraph three, because of the way it describe people walking over the woman's head.
Final thoughts: The first person point of view and voice were good choices for this story because they made the description authentic.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Drake descending the stairs into the darkness. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like:
Final thoughts: Drake Grimstone is an intriguing character, who has the ability to be both sympathetic and unsympathetic depending on the circumstances.
Write on!
I enjoyed reading this story because of Drake Grimstone.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the mesquites weather prediction. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: My favorite part is the description of the mesquites because they were visual.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the mesquites.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the speaker getting off the bus. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: My favorite is the part about the dog, because of the unique description
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the descriptions.
First Impression: The first stanza draws the reader into this free verse poem. The rhythm moves the narrative and emotions forward at a good pace. The main emotions of this poem are disappointment and joy. The emotions change from disappoint to joy as the poem advances,
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: I like the way the emotions change as the poem advances.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this poem because of the way it expressed two opposite emotions.
First Impression: The first stanza established the form, mood, and plot of the poem. The rhythm and rhyming words compliment each other, while the rhythm moves the narrative and emotions of hope forward at a good pace.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The last line in the last stanza is my favorite because it climaxes the poems plot.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this poem because of the way it expressed hope.
First Impression: The first stanza establishes the theme and mood of the poem. The rhythm and rhyming word compliment each other, while the rhythm moves the narrative and emotions of discovery forward at a good pace.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: My favorite is the way task in the first line of the first stanza rhymes with blast in the last line of the last stanza.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this beautiful poem because of the way it expressed the emotion of discovery.
First Impression: The first stanza establishes the form, speaker, theme, and mood of the poem. The rhythm and rhyming words compliment each other, while the rhythm moves the romantic emotions forward at a good pace.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The last stanza is my favorite because it closes the poem with the most emotions.
Final thoughts: I am giving this well-written poem a 5.0, because of the way it shows the emotion of love.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with blame it on the moon. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The interaction and conversation between the characters builds the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: This is my favorite sentence, ‘God’s strength is made perfect in weakness.’” I like this sentence because it is true and it is something we need to be reminded of ever so often.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the way it showed Touran's increase in faith.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the reason Polme Gra’taf hated his job. Polme's interaction with the customer moves the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: Polme handled the difficult customer very well.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the main character.
First Impression: Murry's statement about the contest hooked me. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The interaction and conversation among the characters builds the laughter and the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The last paragraph is my favorite because it climaxed the plot and made me laugh.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because I enjoy eating spicy food.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the statistical anomalies of the deaths. The narrative moves the plot forward at a good pace, while giving information on why life spans increased.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems. My only suggestion is to use this as background information to on longer story or novel about this subject.
I like: The last sentence is my favorite because it climaxed the story's plot, while suggesting the plot for another story.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the reasons for the longer life spans.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Cinders being neurotic. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense and laughter.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: My favorite part was the fireworks display by Cinders.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this beautiful children's story because of the dragon.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the difficulty a shape shifter has fitting into society. This is a good character introduction because it focus on the character's ability and attempting to fit in.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems. My only suggestion is to expand this character introduction to show more background and give the character a name. This character would make a good protagonist in a novel.
I like: My favorite part of this character introduction was the shape shifter needing an education.
Final thoughts: This story is a good beginning to a novel because it suggest a character and a plot.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Mildred's age. the speaker moves the narrative forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: This is my favorite sentence, Sometimes, it's out of our hands and put into the good Lord's. I like this sentence because it is true and it is something we need reminded to remember.
I also like the lesson this story teaches about both healing and hurting.
Final thoughts: I am giving this well-written story a 5.0 because of the lesson it taught.
First Impression: The first stanza establishes the form, theme, plot, and mood of the poem. The rhythm moves the plot and emotions of curiosity forward at a good pace.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The last line of the poem is my favorite because it climaxes the poem's plot and left me wondering what Maria Lee was looking forward to.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this poem because of Sam Adams.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the speaker's son missing for seven years. The speaker moves the narrative forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: This is my favorite simile, at times almost feeling as though slogging through some sort of alien dreamscape. I like this simile because it is fresh and descriptive.
Final thoughts: The unexpected climax fit the plot of the story.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the trash mocking the speaker. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace while building the suspense and the laughter.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: The first person point of view and voice were good choices for this story because they made it funny.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because it made me laugh.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the killing needing to take place on a cloudy day. The speaker moves the narrative and plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: I like the climax because it was unexpected.
Final thoughts: The first person point of view and vice were good choices for this story because the emphasized the motive for the murder.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the price. The conversation between the characters moved the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: I like the title because it suggests a plot without giving anything away.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the water in the oak beer keg. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The interaction among the character build the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: I like Hecate because she is an intriguing and somewhat sympathetic character. I also like the climax because it was a happy ending.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the description of the ritual Hecate performed.
First Impression: The question in the first stanza hooked me. The first stanza establishes the form, mood, theme, and plot of the poem. The rhythm and rhyming words compliment each other. The rhythm moves the plot and narrative forward at a good pace.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: My favorite stanza is the last because it climaxed the poem's plot.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this amusing poem because of it made me smile.
First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the alarm set on vibrate. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The interaction among the characters builds the suspense.
Suggestions: I found no technical problems.
I like: I like the conversation between the mouse and the cat because it made me smile.
Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this amusing story because it made me smile.
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