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2024. Going anywhere inside my little world. |
| Come on the adventures of a little mouse as she writes about her opinions and her life. |
| Got an idea for an interesting story from my game. This family (daughter Mary J) moves to a small town and saves it and its economy by turning the town into a marijuana producing mecca. Kind of a touchy subject but it could be set just after it became legal.... Not much else happened today. It was rainy and windy for most of the day. Didn't do diamond painting. Didn't do much reading or writing (other than that idea). Slept most of the day. My bird died. Ivory was laying in the bottom of the cage. The birds had no water. So now I'm down to three. I started out with five. Ivory gets to go be with Odin now. it stings a little but I consider her a victim of the hot weather we have been having. May write more later Spent four and a half hours reading. I should have stopped after two but I was waiting for my night meds. At least that is the excuse I used. Honestly I was enjoying reading and I didn't want to stop and go in the bedroom to stare blankly at the story I'm trying to work on. Stephen King says you should start with a small goal of 1000 words per day. This should be able to be accomplished in the two hours you set aside for writing Monday through Friday and one hour on Saturday and Sunday. You are, of course, allowed to take one day off a week. He also says you should read all the time. At least he doesn't say you have to read what you write. I do that and I get discouraged. Mr. King says you should be able to find books that leave you saying "I can write3r better than that." at least once in a while. Leaves me things to ponder. Right now I am still wide awake even though it is now Wednesday. My hair is down and I am going to turn my music on and try to get some rest. If I wake during the night, which I invariably do, I will try to get myself to write. I think two handwrittten pages (front and bsck) is a good place to start again. Well, I have woken up twice now and haven't written anything. I was playing my game. I'm hopeless. I'm going to go try to give my story a once over before I lay back down. |
| Been fooling around most of the day playing a game on my tablet and sleeping. I also folded two hampers of laundry and helped Terry (sister) start cleaning her room. Her room became a catch all for her stuff and some other things because she has been sleeping in her chair in the living room since she broke her arm 2 1/2 months ago. But to me I have not accomplished a thing because I haven't read or worked on writing. (and I doubt I'd feel any better if I had read) OH. There's a workbook out there called "The Only Plotting Workbook You Will Ever Need" . You don't need it or even want it. I've got it and cannot make heads nor tails of it even with help from the internet. Maybe it is just too advanced for me; I don't know. I hate giving bad reviews but this book has frustrated me to no end. At the same time I bought a book entitled "Character Keeper".It is a journal of character creation sheets. It's fine I suppose. Just most of the questions don't apply to the characters I'm creating. *sigh* this is not getting any writing done on my novels. May add more later. it's later. Didn't do any writing. I went to sleep earlier. Just haven't felt right today. Probably because Sally (peer support) canceled on me today at the last minute. I hate having my plans upset like that. I didn't know what we were going to do; probably the usual coffee at the diner. We might have done something else though. I know I want to go looking for small Michigan souveneirs for The Snail Mail Group. Yes, I'm letting the cat out of the bag..... In any case I couldn't do anything. Oh well.. I did go in the living room after my nap and read "Stephen King On Writing" the rest of the night. It is getting good as he is starting to get into his writing advice instead of just his history (not that it wasn't interesting). Anyhow I'm going to do a little skimming of my one story tonight before I lay down. Pleasant dreams, furry hugs and whisker kisses to all. |
| Spent a good part of the day reading. I finished "The Witch's Book of Self-Care" , though I don't think I will ever be done trying to implement a lot of the suggestions into my life. I restarted reading "Stephen King On Writing". I was getting more inspired this time than the first time I read it. He has so much in there that is encouraging. I think my inner muse is split between Stephen and Larry (Lawrence Block). Stephen is the encouraging side and Larry is my inner non-editor. Larry's favorite thing to say is "We'll fix that in the next draft". As long as I keep pen to paper and writing they are mostly content. I'm missing the main muse though. The big one. The one where the ideas come from..... That one hasn't named themselves yet but it has been working as of late. Little snippets of ideas have been coming to me while I'm watching TV (which the other two try to drag me back to my room to write), while I'm working on diamond painting...(which then we all get into arguments about that being me time) and a lot of the time while I've been reading. (which shuts the other two up because it is something semi to do with the writing process) I really need to learn to stop more and write these ideas down. Big muse gets mad at me a lot because when I sit down to write for the day I don't remember what it gave me. (For some reason I keep wanting to call it a she). Spent some of the day Diamond painting. I split the third section in half so I am not so overwhelmed and get to the satisfaction of finishing that part a lot quicker. I was happy that for the past two days Terry (sister) has been coming back to the craft room and painting her Indian statue she got for Mother's Day from her son James. It doesn't feel so empty back there and we talk a little bit. I have an appointment in the morning so I really need to get some sleep. Merry Meet and Blessed Be then Merry Meet again!  |
| How do you stay organized in a life that is unorganizable? As most of you already know, I have Borderline Personality Disorder. One of the things that lightens the symptoms is having a structured, scheduled life. i have tried to do that here. No go mojo. David (nephew/caregiver) gives us meals and medications at different times depending on the day and what he is doing. That's just or starters...... Terry (sister) has visiting doctors and therapists that can call at any time giving her a 24 hour notice that they are coming. (Terry doesn't go anywhere or do anything so this practice is perfectly acceptable to her. My appointments are outside of the house and require the catching of a bus. Thus an appointment that lasts half an hour takes three hours with walking to the bus stops, waiting for the scheduled bus, riding for at least 15 - 45 minutes to get to the destination, go to the appointment, go back to the bus stop and take the 15 - 45 minute ride in reverse to get home. We won't mention that the nearest bus stop to the house is four blocks away (at least). Now there is also the demands on my time that I try to ignore. It would thrill Terry to death if I sat in the living room with er all day staring at the TV cross eyed and drooling. If it doesn't make an idiot out of you it will make you a serial killer or something just as bad. Same with video games.....(Like I have room to talk. I've been hooked on tablet games lately that teach you how to grow and sell weed). Been finishing up reading "The Witch's Book of Self-Care". I actually read it while in the living room trying to ignore the TV. I didn't do half bad. Next on the reading list is "Stephen King On Writing".... Hopefully I will get a bit of encouragement from one of the masters of the field. The Book of Self-Care wants me to make another Vision Board but this time for my Spirituality. I had been thinking about doing this for a while now before I ever read about the first Vision Board in the book. It should be interesting . For those of you who don't know, I am a suspense and horror fan when it comes to movies and TV. I watch things like Criminal Minds, Grimm, Supernatural,...... My favorite movie is 13 Ghosts. That's why it is no big jump for me to wonder about what our fellow man is capable of and it scares me. It's the only fear I have left. I''m going to go watch my movie..... |
| Played with my port today and some of the images. Created a new reviewing signature because I have used that image someplace else. I'm so proud of me; I was able to add text to the new sig. Might change some other things later....... Will add to this entry as the day goes on. It's later. I just trashed the pages I did of my diary (time stamped thingy). It got completely confusing when I didn't write down anything from last night to this afternoon and it was more than just the pages sticking together. I watched "The Mist" (based on Stephen King's novella) today and remember all the inspiration the story had given me when I read it and when I seen the movie before. I probably wouldn't finish those stories either and I know I wouldn't be able to sell them without going through a lot of rigamarole about copyrights. Although they say that to some authors the greatest form of flattery you could give them is for one of their works to inspire you. I'm going off to read "Witch's Book of Self-Care"....... |
| Actually I took it off about a month ago. I was wearing my Dad's wedding ring on my left hand. It was supposed to be a slap in the face to him as I was wearing it as a widower to my girlfriend Lisa...... My parents hated her as we were growing up. I was a freshman in HS when I met Lisa. Up until then my best friend had been my cousin Alyssha but she had found Jennifer and didn't have time for me any more. Lisa and I clicked right away. We talked to each other about everything under the sun. She fell right in to Mansions (my role playing game) , playing the girls to my guys. She was the only one I felt really comfortable letting my masculine side show and being the male side of a relationship. It was the first time I could let my bisexuality out. I gave Lisa rings several times but we never officially had a real ceremony.....though we had a few in Mansions. Okay, now to the bad part....... fast forward to 30 years later through which our families each did their best to keep us apart. So did circumstances beyond our control ( or at least they felt that way at the time). I had moved from Missouri back to Michigan to be with Lisa and I moved in to her apartment. It was everything we had dreamed (except the bed bugs) until her sisters found out. They said she could lose her apartment and her Section 8 if I didn't move out immediately..... (Did I mention that it was better for her brother Rick to be an addict who robbed and assaulted them then for Lisa to be a Lesbian?) They even made me sign papers that I wouldn't come within 100 yds of the apartment ever. We talked on the phone alot. I had moved to Port Huron and changed residences about four times before I ended up at Terry's Room and Board house. Terry eventually encouraged me to invite Lisa up. I made up this male profile on FaceBook so Lisa and I could talk there. She told her sisters she was coming up to spend four days with him. Luckily they didn't want to investigate who Erik was any further..... She came up and we had a blast...... We went to the mall and for walks by the river and shopping everywhere. Lisa had gottten physically worse though and I had to push her in a wheelchair everywhere. She told me she was asking her sisters for a scooter. About a month later the phone calls stopped. A week after that Terry told me that they had announced Lisa's death on Facebook....... They said she was found on the floor by her couch and she must have fallen in her sleep..... I found out later that when the phone calls had stopped it was because she didn't want to tell me that her sisters were looking for an institution to put her in........she knew I would have been down there to take her away from them forever..... The last thing she had posted on Facebook was a rant to her sisters with the ending "I''m telling Mom!!!!'" Lisa's mother had passed the previous December. She came to see me In March. She had made it four months under her sisters' tyranny. I can't blame her for wanting out..... Though I don't have any proof, nothing can convince me that Lisa did not take her own life. I took the ring off because it was starting to itch all the time and give my finger a rash. It was telling me it was time to let go. Lisa will always be my one true soul mate and the love of my life. I will never stop loving her. |
| Went out with Sally today (peer support).... She tells me she can't afford to go to the book store today so save my money for next week....So we go to a restaurant because I say that I can afford coffee and still afford books..... the waitress comes and Sally orders oatmeal with her coffee..... so I said screw it and ordered raisin toast. That was $15 down the tubes. Combine that with me misplacing $15 and I am down to $5 for the rest of the month...... This is how my money keeps dwindling when I have it Other than that it was a decent day. I did a section of the diamond painting I've been working on. Took a nap with the dog and watched some TV with Terry (sister). All in all not bad. Would have been better if I got some writing done. Empty yet somewhat satisfying day. |
| I have been seriously distracted away from WdC. The biggest thing grabbing my attention lately has been a tablet game called Hempire.... Yes it is about growing weed....... Terry(sister) doesn't like it because she says it teaches kids it is ok to do it. I'm so tired all the time too. but I am not sleeping.Right now it is after 11:30 pm and I'm just starting to think about laying down. A couple of days ago I started an offline diary; one of those ones you record the time and the things you do throughout the day. I started it because both Terry and my short term memory has been for crap lately. Sometimes we can't remember when we last ate or if we took our medications. As I put in the answer for a newsfeed question, our craft room is finally back to using condition. I finished a diamond painting today that I started like three months ago before everything went haywire. Thank you David (nephew) for asking about it today. That opened the door to get his help with it. Other than that I've been trying to sit in the living room more so I've been watching TV (cross-eyed and drooling staring at the idiot box). We started watching "Gotham" but changed over to "Stargirl" for a couple of days then back to "Gotham"..... This just gave me an idea for a survey: DC or Marvel? (I'm a Marvel girl myself....) Things just aren't all that exciting in my world (when you start discussing bathroom habits you know you're in trouble.). Have I mentioned my hair in here yet? my normal length when I was growing up was about an inch. I had very frizzy wiry curly hair. Back then it didn't grow down it grew out. I went too long without a haircut and I looked like one of those cartoon cats that floats out of the dryer.....anyways my hair is now below my shoulders.....I have always wanted long hair. I thought it was going t o grow back worse after I fried it with a relaxing treatment.......Believe me I am vry happy with it. Okay starting to nod and its almost miidnight so I'm going to bed. Blessed Dreams to all. |
| signed up for the Weird & Wonky World Writing Challenge but I don't understand the contest now. I know I am supposed to write based one of the prompts given each week...... I asked and now I know where to post my entries if I ever get one written...... The part I don't get is on the progress page they have my Nezoom story.... Am I supposed to write something that fits Nezoom? I tried to write something without using Nezoom and failed miserably. I only got 150 wds and the minimum for the challenge is 1000.........and I had more questions than answers on the subject.......What exactly constitutes an authority figure and why would someone want to impersonate one? I'm going to try to write for one of the prompts tomorrow...... Nothing else going on. Sally (case worker) is on vacation this week. I've just been watching TV with Terry and sleeping mostly. We've gotten interested in "Gotham"..... Right now my legs are starting to act up and I think I'm getting a bed sore again. Its going on midnight and I'm barely tired. OH well. Have nothing to be awake for tomorrow anyhow. |
| I slept most of the day while watching John Wayne movies (Rio Lobo and The Alamo) . Terry (sister) woke David up (nephew/caregiver) to fix us something for Dinner and he was crabby about it. David just got a bed frame and dresser yesterday so he was in good spirits. He also has been working on the yard (which has got me a little miffed because the inside of the house needs attention.) He seems in better spirits now. Terry wants me to write down what is making me feel depressed and irritated so we can discuss it. How do I tell her without just saying it that she doesn't understand. Most of the time I can't put my finger on what is upsetting me. I just feel bad and I don't want to feel anything anymore. That's why I sleep so much. I have to distract myself every waking moment or my mind tends to travel to dark places like self harm and suicide.....I don't know. I'll figure something out. One of the main things that upsets me is not having enough money. I guess that is a universal thing that everyone deals with but I keep wishing for an influx like tax returns or stimulus. Then I would just abuse it anyhow and it wouldn't last. I'm terrible at finances. Okay to the "I wants"..... I want my room cleaned and straightened so it doesn't look like everything was just tossed hither, thither, and yond (which is what I do anyways) ...... I want someone to help me with things like my room.....I want my dresser moved so I can get to the electrical outlet.... I WISH I had more room in my room (like that is going to happen) ...... I wish I knew what to do with the stuff I no longer want in my room.....I WISH I felt like I didn't have to keep me and my stuff in my room..(I just bought myself a fridge for my room and just my insulin and Trulicity takes up 75% of it. So much for having stuff in my room I can munch on at night). Okay now that I am getting myself irritated I'm going to go find something to relax me...... |
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