Hello Freakywolf,
A very important topic to share, Karma.
I also believe in Karma.
It just like a golden rule of "Do unto others as you would like others do unto you."
My suggestion:
The word "Judgement"
Please change this to .....Judgment
Thnak you for sharing your talent.
WRITE ON.
Hello Mew Providence,
Haiku poetry fascinates me.
I always consider them very special.
You are sharing a beautiful poetry through three Haikus.
It expresses the seasons of the year and the nature's connectedness.
Thank you for sharing your lovely Haikus.
Keep writing and keep posting.
Hello motto-fighter,
The title is most captivating, simply because advertisements are surely being read by all people in the world.
As in it is a universal interest that is why advertisements make a lot of financial returns to most companies that
produce and sells nationwide even worldwide.
Reading between the lines, this essay is more focused on political issues of a certain country, India in particular.
and there are so many important issues that you wrote and share .
I respect your opinion and I admire your talent.
My suggestion:
"BECUASE YOU WANT INDIA TO BE......."
Please change the word BECUASE to..............BECAUSE
"with two hundred live at stake"
Please change this to :
with two hundred lives at stake
ANY TAKERS ? PLEAE ."
please change this to :
ANY TAKERS ? PLEASE .
Thank you for the read.
WRITE ON.
Hello Mark,
A deeply emotional story.
The twists and turns of events.
Emma, the daughter abused by her own father, is now back home. Back in an old familiar place that gives her so much pain to bear that she herself wanted to ended her life.
Here comes Jonathan, the man who truly loves her.
The thought that the neighborhood believe that her father was "A Fine Man"
What a mask... and what a story..
Heartbreaking !
My suggestion :
"He was sat in my father's old chair"
Please change this to:
He was sitting in my father's old chair.
"Mine sat on the table"
Please change this to :
I sat on top of the table..
Thank you for sharing your talent.
WRITE ON.
Hello dragonfly,
I admire the creativity here.
Guitar/lover in comparison to each other.
Surely you play the guitar so well and surely you are also a lover.
My suggestion:
"Your bring it so much pleasure"
Please change this to :
You're bringing so much pleasure
Thank you for sharing your talent.
WRITE ON.
Hello harycubbybear,
It is my great honor and pleasure to know Mrs. Bailey through your poetry.
I find my self so blessed reading this.
There are many Saints that we encounter as we continue their journey.
They can also be considered as another angel in our midst.
This is how I understand this poem that is well-written that gives honor and respect to a person whose deeds are
truly admirable, like the very famous Mother Teresa who has the heart to take good care the poorest among the poor.
Thank you for sharing "She's a Saint"
WRITE ON.
Hello Deirdriu,
A song that describes the greatness of a mother's love.
The story behind the song is emotional as in deeply sentimental.
I wonder what the tune would be.
I have nothing to correct.
Thank you for sharing "Momma's Little Girl"
WRITE ON.
Hello Mrs. Ebrahim,
The title is very captivating.
I am a firm believer in the "Power of Prayer"
This is very meaningful and written from heart.
My suggestion:
" i could, i was, i had"
Please capitalize the letter I
Thank you for sharing "Power Of Prayer "
Write On.
Hello Rivermckenna,
Nice title for a contest.
Thank you for creating this contest and for the opportunity for me to join.
With so many brilliant poets all around , you will have a wonderful time reading the entries and surely will have
a hard time deciding if who will be the lucky winners
More power to you , Good Luck and God Bless for all your undertakings.
Write On.
Hello Annie,
The title captures my interest to read your work.
This prose is lovely as it explains fully what are your views about dreams and dreamers.
My suggestion:
"if people say its stupid because you are the dreamer and you..."
Please put an apostrophe in the word it's and a comma after the word dreamer.
if people say it's stupid it will never be stupid because you are the dreamer, and you have...."
Keep on dreaming big dreams.
I agree with you dreamers are not stupid. Dreamers are achievers.
Thank you for sharing your talent.
Keep writing and keep posting.
Greetings to you Edward James,
A poetry with a very intriguing title.
Riddles really intrigued me thus it also made me very curious to read your work.
This is drama in the real sense and I enjoy and admire your creativity.
A wise conclusion,
"I told you so "
Thank you for sharing your talent.
WRITE ON.
Hello River,
One of the touching poems in this community that I truly admire and cherish.
The message is great, chosen lines are wonderful and so thoughtful.
PRECIOUS and written at the moment when writer's block occurs ..
How lovely is such precious moments ...so productive...
Thank you for sharing.
WRITE On.
Hello George,
This is a great story. Full of suspense with a blend of a very good sense of humor.
"I began to cry when I think of the mascara that is running down my face."
Hhahahhaha...what a reason to cry..in the middle of the horrible event..
The story has a good flow and a brillant idea.
I have nothing to edit.
It is a wonderful piece.
Thank you for sharing your talent trhough "Clever Trends"
WRITE ON.
Greetings to you Nish,
This is a work so full of wisdom to share.
The article has a good flow.
My suggestion:
This is written from the heart, I suggest you give a title on this.
Also there are some words :
1) when i got
Please capitalize the letter I
when I got
2) scare to loose someone
Please change this to :
scare to lose someone
3) afraid of loosing him
afraid of losing him
4) i am unable to undersatnd
I am unable to understand
5) May be because
Please change this to :
Maybe because
Once this work is already edited, this isgoing to be a wonderful piece.
Thank you for sharing.
WRITE ON.
Hello again Calluna,
I am fascinated by the story behind the poetry that expresses a fighting spirit.
In life we experiences some lowest moments and it does not mean we remained down and out. We need to stand and pick up the pieces with a brave heart to face the world.
Written for a contest, I wish you win.
This is a beautiful work.
WRITE ON.
Hello Lynn,
AHA ! I love this....
The title is so captivating...
This is full of life and so honest....
Well, it is not a sin to admire good looking men as long as we remain faithful to the man that we vowed to love forever.
Sometimes it is embarrassing when you see an actor so good looking and you cannot control by exclaiming
wow ! But that's life...we need to appreciate God's wonderful creations. Hhaahhahaha !
This is an interesting essay. I enjoy reading this. It reminds me of a T shirt my niece was wearing last week with
printed words..."So many handsome men so little time, but I can love only one ! "
It is fun and oh.. so True.
I have nothing to edit here..
I admire your talent and your true expression of the heart and of the art of writing.
Thank you for sharing "Men, Men, Men "
WRITE ON.
Hello Jashary,
The red letters show how much you love this very special person in your life.
Love can do wonders to a person like this beautiful song that you are sharing to all of us.
A happy tune, I believe so
The last line ? is so touching..
Thank you for sharing "You're My Everything"
WRITE ON.
Hello Little Tan Dancer,
This is a story that is surely be appreciated and enjoyed by everyone, young and old.
A sad and happy ending.
Sad that Max died and happy because Max is happy in heaven.
This proves that a dog is really a man's best friend..
The title fits for the written lines.
My suggestion but still the same, I consider your story admirable.
"But the day finally came when a nice lady came......."
Please change this to :
But the day finally came when a nice lady arrived.....
Thank you for sharing "The Gift"
WRITE ON.
Hello Maura,
This could make a very interesting Prologue of a novel.
Crime story and suspense thriller in the making blended in a fantasy story.
The story has a good flow and surely will interests the readers.
My suggestion:
1) "that he was like a earthquake."
Please change this to :
that he was like an earthquake
2) "to see a orphan"
Please change this to :
to see an orphan
3) "would of heard the door"
Please change this to:
would have heard the door
Good luck for the continuation of "Transport City"
Keep writing and keep posting.
Hello mel,
How touching is your work. You made me teary-eyed.
You did it for love,and that is all that matters.
The poem is well-written and well-presented.
It has a good flow and an emotional piece.
I can feel the pain of the longing heart.
Thank you for sharing "The Rose"
Keep writing and keep posting.
Hello Sarge,
The message in this poem is so great. You are a poet whose concern and love for teh world is so great.
Very inspiring work.
My suggestion :
"So to are hate and anger"
Please change this to:
So too are hate and anger
"on so to does war"
Please change this to :
on so too does war
"would take to long"
Please change this to :
would take too long
"our wayto stop the pain"
Please change this to :
our way to stop the pain.
Thank you for sharing.
WRITE ON.
Hello bob,
Interesting character, Muzzy.
Now I know the reason why such title was written "Royal Road"
Descriptive.
I can feel I was there when everything happens during this travel as your words fully explained the short story
with a good flow.
My suggestion (TYPO) :
1) streatch
Please change this to :
stretch
2) in pursuite of a restraunt
Please change this to :
in pursuit of a restaurant
3) The bar tender
Please change this to :
The bartender
4) abondant
abundant
5) streight
straight
Thank you for sahring "Royal Road"
Keep writing and keep posting.
Hello Matty,
BRAVO !
That's the spirit !
A writer who can stand and speak for what he believes !
An article written with all truthfulness and sincereness.
I enjoy reading this line :
"If your work truly can stand on its merits then it will, and you will eventually find a publisher willing to take on your work."
WELL-SAID !
Keep writing and keep posting because I enjoy reading your works.
HELLO Sara Jane,
This is fun...It fits for the genre...Comedy.
The debate...Hahhaha...Both are winners, the legs that wear panty hose and the naked legs, simply because
both serve the purpose in my own personal journey.
When I was a part of the corporate world for more than twenty-five years, panty hose played an important role in my dress code. Now that I am living near the sea and away from the urban world, I enjoy my bare legs strolling
the seashore collecting shells.
I enjoy reading your work.
My suggestion:
"Panty hose vs. Neaked Legs"
Please change the word Neaked to Naked
"Nuthin' in more gross.."
Please change this to:
Nothing is more gross..
Thank you for sharing "Take A Walk On The Debating Side"
Take care too.
Keep writing and keep posting.
Hello animal,
A poem that speaks of moments in time.
My suggestion:
1) Im
Please put an apostrophe, I'm
2) loging
Please change this to : longing
3) cant
This word was being used four times in this poetry
Please put an apostrophe, can't
4) lonliness
Please change this to : loneliness
5) hppiness
Please change this to : happiness
Thank you for sharing your talent.
Keep writing and keep posting.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/paglaum/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/43
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.58 seconds at 12:23pm on Sep 19, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
