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tc_davis
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Brief Summary:
I have pondered this poem for many a day now. The only thing I can come up with, is it is as it states, thoughts that wonder randomly and aimlessly through the mind while sitting in an abandoned parking lot.
I may have tried to over-analyze this. I have now read it ten times. To me, a couple of things stand out.
One is that loneliness is apparent in each verse. Whether it was the lonely nights, the empty parking lot, or nobody near, it is made abundantly clear that the voice is alone. This haunted my thoughts. What was the voice trying to tell me? Alone, I am alone. I get that part, but it seemed like more was trying to creep out. Was it being alone in a crowded subway type of alone?
As in I am surrounded by many people, yet nobody sees me? Or are we talking, I am alone in this world, with nobody to share my dreams?
Secondly it was the glowing. Glowing stars, glowing lights, and a glowing sun. Just what does the glowing represent? Here there is no imply of the word glowing, for it is used outright. So that too bothered me. Again, am I reading too much here. Am I trying to create a metaphor when none exists? I will break it down line by line and see.
12 lines here and I will start at the top:
1-reading this line gives me the impression that there is no other significant other to turn to when the strange dreams awaken the voice.
2-It is a bright night out, for there are many stars visible in the sky. I am not sure if this places the character inside city limits, for I fear viewing that many stars, one would have to be away from some of the other city lights.
3-The reference to concrete and emotional mind bring to thought the metaphor. What here makes the voice connect the two? Have we now traveled to the garage and the cement is cold? Relating this to feelings and emotions from the strange dream that woke us in the first place, are we saying that we are emotionally hardened to life? If so, why?
4- The reference to others here and their activities show us that something out of the normal is happening. The character or voice shouldn't be up at this hour.
5-Here we start a new verse. Have we now walked, or are we driving? We are traveling down memory lane asking questions of the choices in life. Simple enough. We can do that from just about any vantage point.
6-The reference here now to the glowing lights and the position of them lead me to believe the voice is walking at night or driving aimlessly. Insomnia induced thinking. The lights then take on a new meaning. They are the sun of the evening for many.
7- Simple enough here, we are witnessing the weather.
8- Alone again. Or is it still? Has the voice walked, drove by car, or simply using metaphors. Either of the three can apply here.
9-Another new verse here and we begin it with a derivative of depression combined with hope. Leading me to believe that although we are experiencing, what I believe is insomnia,we haven't given up yet. There is enough energy to still hope.
10-The glowing sun, brings to light we have now been out all night. It is early morning and the glowing may be hurting our sleep deprived eyes.
11-Yes, the eyes have been open far too long. What they see as they wander through the night through the memories and choices made, still somehow leaves room for hope. So,,, all is not lost.
12- Heading for home.
So this was my break down of the poem. What I get out of this , and this is purely my interpretation, is this:
Being single, dreams often awake me in the middle of the night when most sane people are sleeping in their beds. This happens often (not mentioned in poem), and when it does, I tend to go for a drive, knowing that sleep will elude me the rest of the night anyway. I often drive to an empty lot or parking lot and glance up at the sky, going back over the paths I have chosen in life, and where I will go from here. As the sun comes up, I head back home, once again able to close my eyes.
Any editing comments:
I saw nothing to comment on as far as editing goes. This is a well written piece. The part that stumped me for so long, was myself. Trying to complicate it. Trying to see the metaphor. What didn't occur to me for quite some time was that perhaps there wasn't one to see.
What I liked about this piece:
To me the glowing reference in each verse represented a light. A light of comfort. With the light on, you are not alone. You are protected from the darkness. The darkness being depression.
Areas that I had trouble with:
Opening my eyes to see what was really here before me. Even the capital letter at the beginning of each line was trying to create a hidden word for me. I was looking for more hidden messages. They weren't hidden though. I just merely had to open my eyes and read.
Suggestions:
Keep writing. You write great poetry, and I have enjoyed reading each piece I have come across. Keep up the wonderful work.
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